This may be an insignificant question to some of you. Even to me, it started off as a seemingly silly problem. However, it is something that I continually struggle with and would like some advice on how to deal with it or get past it.<P>I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a half, and we have been engaged for 6 months. We are both very strong and committed Christians. He is very faithful, loving, and affectionate toward me. I have no reason to ever doubt his feelings or commitment toward me, and I feel 100% safe that he will be loyal and not unfaithful to me.<P>My problem is his past. I know, it is in the past, this is what I tell myself too. Before he was saved, he was very much a "player." He had a lot of girlfriends, really played the field, several live-ins. I don't know why this bothers me sometimes, considering it is in the past and also that he has changed 360 degrees since being saved. I do not see a playboy side to him like apparently he used to be.<P>I am sure a lot of this comes from some insecurity on my part, but unfortunately the only reason it is hard for me to let this go and be in the past is I seem to constantly run across it or have it come up in my face. I will run across an old home movie with some old bimbo in it, or photographs or momentos. Also, his roommate was his old buddy in all this, so he is always making comments about "Remember Dawn, she was hot" and stuff like that. If it could be in the past and I didn't constantly get reminded of it I don't think it would bother me so much. And yes, I can't help when I hear these things, wondering how I compare. Am I as pretty as those girls, does he think I am as sexy, etc. etc. I know obviously I must rate higher because I am the one he asked to marry. But I still have these thoughts anyway.<P>Just to clarify, my fiancee does NOT relate to me stories or details or anything like this. He is very sensitive and he doesn't honestly seem to think about the past or talk about it. It is more his roommate, or things that I just come across, or we're out at a restaurant and see some ex girlfriend of his.<P>Does anyone have any advise on how I can get past this? I have talked to him about it, I have shared my feelings with him. And of course he reassures me of his love and commitement to me. But I'm sure he feels there isn't a whole lot else he can do than that. The rest lies with me. I would love to not let this bother me and get over this problem. But I sure do wish he didn't have such a colorful past. Now I know why God gave us the commandment not to have sex before marriage!!
