i have currently been with my fiance' for 19 months and have been engaged for the past 6.<BR>she is by far the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me, she has opened up my mind and thoughts and feeling that i had<BR>long since forgotten. pretty sappy huh?<BR>the problem is that for the past 8 months i have noticed and i know she has to see it as well, and that is the fact that we can hardly make it through a month without some sort of altercation. no matter how petty it always seems to turn into something out of control. we are both very stubborn people but we are both very loving people, but for some reason we always seem to end up right back at the same place every single month.<BR>with our wedding date creeping up, and now within 8 mos. i am concerned that we may continue to do damage to ourselves, each other and this relationship thus leading to a short and costly wedding. i am willing to<BR>seek counseling to try to save our relationship, and she has mentioned the same but having already been married once i am very frightend of what could happen again in the future.<BR>i/we are open for suggestions as to any <BR>premarital counseling, because we both want<BR>each other but now are becoming a little cautious.<P>b.b.

Wow, atleast you both have recognized that once a month a problem occurs, OKAY now does that once a month altercation have anything in common with previous months, is there a pattern, does it happen around the same dates, does it involve the same things? Find out the common denominator (so to speak) then try to fix it. As long as you love each other then your problem can be solved.

the outbursts are never about the same topic, i wish they were. what usually happens is that one of us will say something no matter how significant or not and it will just start a snowball effect. right now she is under stress planning for the wedding and with all we have been through i said we should concentrate on US before we go any <BR>further. BAD move on my part because all that did was lead to more of the same. she had started to withdraw but i would not especially after reading of ramifications of doing so. i am trying to be the positive one and wanting to keep the lines of communitcation open as long as they are positive. i'll keep working because she is not worth loosing.