I've read through the site and this discussion forum and although i have found some useful info i still would like to talk to someone about this.

I've known my wife for years and I'd always had a big crush on her <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> We started dating last September and i found out that she'd had similar feelings for me throughout the years. Although the marriage was rushed, we knew one another fairly well and we trusted each other very well because we've always been able to talk. It's only been two months and she's saying that she dosent want to be married and that she isnt in love with me like she originally thought she was. She says she does love me but isnt in love with me and she has doubts about me being the right person for her. She feels "trapped" and simply dosent want to be married! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
For starters, we rushed into marriage confident it would work (the relationship was great!) but a major reason was because she was seeking custody of her 14 year old brother who had been shuffled around from relative to relative for most of his life. After we got married she was granted immediate temporary custody of him so that has worked out well so far.
To complicate matters even more she is also 2 months pregnant . the pregnancy was totally unplanned but we were (and still are) excited about it.

I've tried talking to her about this and she is refussing counseling saying that she just doesnt like being married... If trying to talk to her she starts giving me lists of things that she dosent like about me... i basically get on her nerves. She seems convinced that we are totally incompatible. She claims that she's been having these feelings for about a month but has had doubts about the marriage since before we actually got married.

In the past month we had been arguing a lot but most of it was about money/bills.

I only plan on getting married once and i want my kid(s) to have a stable family and she's always said the same... now she doesnt really seem to care.

Can someone please offer some advice??

thanks!

Wow!

I wonder how she imagines being a single mom would be after the baby's born?

I'm afraid I probably don't have any good advice for you, but I wanted to post to encourage you to talk to others on this forum, and if your W won't go to counseling with you, by all means go yourself.

Do your best to just be loving. Avoid getting drawn into arguments (and very DEFINITELY don't initate any!).

Read books like His Needs Her Needs, available through this website or in bookstores. That would be a good starting point in self-improvement in your M.

All my best,
-Qfwfq

Well, your wife sounds a lot like me when I first got married (a little less than a year ago). My husband wasn't doing anything wrong, and yet he was just 'on my nerves.' I felt trapped and extremely depressed, thinking I had made a mistake for sure. Also similar to your situation, we moved into marriage rather quickly, having a stable mature relationship.....All that to say, I am a christian and have sought the Lord, as well as godly counsel, and read many books, and started on some anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medication that has really helped. (I don't know if she could take them while she is pregnant.) Anyway, looking back, I think I was just totally overwelmed and didn't take to change very well. And when you start feeling even a little unsatisfied at the beginning of a marriage it can scare a person very bad, and then the ball starts rolling, and your mind (and Satan) can get the best of you if you aren't aware of how he works. If she is willing, and with the Lord's help, you can make it work. In time, if she works at it, she will fall in love with you all over again .......but be sure you are patient with her and you are meeting her needs as best you know how. Don't condemn her for her feelings, be as understanding as possible, even though I can only imagine what you're going through. My husband stood by, and now our relationship is so much stronger. Hope this helps.