You're on my prayer list - will fervently pray for you and your H this weekend. He is being honest with you and going to counseling, so he does value you more than her. I understand your pain over his comment about not wanting to fall in love again, I would be devastated if my H said that to me. I wish there was something I could say to lift your spirits up right now. <BR>I've also been crying a lot today (my H has taken some big steps backwards). I know that instead of crying and hurting I should pray and give it all to God. <P>Keep your faith dear POGP, and know we are all praying for you. It hurts our hearts too when you're hurt. <BR>

Newday and Rootbeer(AW) (I like that better, too, wasn't it Taj that said you are so much more than an Alcoholic's Wife?), and everyone else here: <P>Thank you for your prayers. Last night I felt a bit better after we attended my son's basketball game. <P>After the kids went to bed we talked for a while and he told me that he can't help me understand why he made the call because he doesn't know why. We agreed that some feelings and actions just don't make logical sense. <P>He asked "Haven't I been treating you better than I ever have in the 16 years we've been together? Why not assume that things will keep going in that direction, getting better and better. Don't be sad. Who knows how I will feel in the future."<P>As we were falling asleep, he said "You know, I do love you, very much."<P>I needed to hear that so much, especially without it being in response to my saying it first.<P>I can't tell you how much I value all the women here. If you had ever told me a year ago that I would have cyber pals from a cyber prayer group I would have laughed my head off.<P>I will try to keep my perspective, especially as far as trusting in God and his faithfulness. I have had two hymns in my head for a couple of days now; "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and "The Solid Rock".<P>Obviously, faithfulness is a huge issue for all of us who have come here from the Infidelity forum, and I can't help but think that the Lord is reminding me, and us, that we shouldn't trust "The Sweetest Frame" but 'Wholly lean' on him. <P>Isn't it tempting, tho, to want to place all our trust in someone with skin on? <P>Thank you dears,<BR>lizzie<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

As I finished my last post, I imagined that some of your might be thinking "what is she whining about, at least her husband is living with her, or at least his affair is over, or at least he has stopped his heavy drinking"...and I want to be sure to say;<P>I have much to be thankful for, and I know it.<P>God has brought us SO far in the past five months, I never thought we would even still be together for the new millenium.<P>If you perceive you situation to be far worse than mine, please forgive me if I sound like I am whining. I would hate to cause anyone here more pain than they are already in. I love you ladies and will continue to pray for each of your marriages and families.<P>thanks, lizzie<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

Hi all.<P>Just a quick request. <P>If you happen to read this on Tuesday, please pray for my husband this evening. He will be talking with our counselor from 7-8 Eastern time. <P>This is his 'private' session to discuss his feelings for OW and his desire to continue contact with her (remember he called her extension just to hear her recording?).<P>Dear Lord, please give our counselor LP wisdom and the ability to cut through the fog and speak truth in love to my husband. <P>Please enable him to look inside and see what is causing his desire to contact OW. Holy Spirit, please enlighten my husband and let your light shine in all the dark recesses of his heart. Please empower LP to speak when you want her to and listen when she should.<P>AMEN<BR>lizzie<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

Liz,<P>Somehow I have missed your last few posts on this thread. Sorry!<P>I wanted to address some of your comments in regards to your situation.<P>I have never considered your posts to be whining. You have a right to express your hurts, disappointments, and concerns like anyone else. No matter what the depth of your circumstances.<P>I have always considered you to be such a strong person. You have needed to continue to work on a marriage even when the OP is there to some degree. I don't know how you do it. Yes I do! It is God!<P>I have only dealt with the other person 3-4 times and each one was very distasteful and discouraging. God knows you have the ability in Him to face this issue until it is a thing of the past. I truly believe that WILL be the case.<P>I will be praying for your H tonight. I will pray that he will be once and for all delivered from the spirit of deception and the spirit of lust. The OW must die from his experience in all ways. This is a hard way of looking at it but I feel that is how I want to pray for your H.<P>God Bless, and hangeth thou in there <P>Taj<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

Lizzie, your H will be the main topic tonight as I drive my long drive home. I'm an hour behind you, so 7PM EST will be while I have my nightly prayer time on my 1 1/2 hour drive home. God bless you and keep you safe, you are in my prayers too. Do you have another joint counseling session this Thursday? I have been trying to get an appt. with our pastor for this Sunday for another counseling session for us. My husband actually agreed to go again. I gotta make good on his promise to go before he changes his mind!!

I don't know when he will schedule our next joint appt. for. It could be this Thurs. or next, either would be fine. Thank you for your concern.<P>AW, I will pray that your h. keeps the Sunday appt. How wonderful that he will go for pastoral counseling. I wish....no, that is whining. Sorry.<P>love ya,<BR>lizzie<BR>Taj:hangest thou also! <P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

I will continue to pray for you all as you go through your counseling sessions (wish it were us I know how beneficial and sometimes difficult these can be. I pray that God will use these couselors and pastors to reach out to your husbands and help them feel the hand of God. Blessings, J

Hi. <P>Just spoke with my h. on the phone. He is calling the counselor to cancel the appt. Says he is swamped with work and will be late getting home. <P>Oh, well. I think he probably really is busy, but unfortunately the rest of his evenings are busy this week, so we will have to push our appt. to the week after next, if he schedules his for next week. Patience, patience. At least he still seems to want to go for a session himself.<P>I am also concerned about an overnight trip he is taking Thursday/Friday for a professional organization meeting. Please pray that I won't freak out. It is his first trip since his confession.<P>lizzie<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

Lizzie,<P>I'm sorry he didn't go. I still prayed for him (and you) though. Will keep up my prayer vigil on this subject.

AW,<P>Thanks. I am starting to fret about this overnight trip. I am also starting to obsess about a woman's business card I found in his wallet. It is probably nothing, but Satan really wants to 'get me going' I think.<P>I will let you know if a new appt. is made. <P>Have you had any luck scheduling another pastoral session for Sunday?<P>liz<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

Don't fret, ok? You are right, it is Satan trying to drag you down. I really believe that the evil one is after us more than our husbands. He wants to destroy us along with our marriages. Your husband probably was given the business card by a business contact and hasn't put it in his rolodex yet. I can understand that because I have a bunch of men's business cards in my wallet that I never get around to scanning into the computer. I'm in the computer industry, which is a male dominated industry, so I have to have these business contacts who happen to be male. I know these cards in my wallet are perfectly legit, and most likely your husband's is too. Please don't worry. Like my pastor told me, "trust him fully until he gives you reason not to otherwise". I did get an appt. scheduled for counseling for us on Sunday afternoon, 2:00 Central time. Please pray for us regarding this counseling session. I'm praying that my husband will not back out of going, and that the Lord give the pastor the words from Him. Thanks Liz.

root beer,<P>You are right, of course. The woman is probably just a business contact. Her number is also in his palm pilot, but I still find myself fretting, especially about this overnight trip. <P>His ExOW has also worked on projects in the city where he will be, and they once took a business trip together on a project she had nothing to do with! (I still haven't figured out how she filled out her travel voucher...)<P>thanks for listening, I know I am just being paranoid.<P>I will certainly pray on Sunday afternoon.<P>liz\pearl<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

it was all lies<p>[This message has been edited by alias (edited October 12, 2000).]

<BR>[This message has been edited by alias (edited October 12, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by alias (edited October 12, 2000).]

What that all means is, if it looks like a lying, cheating, s--t, smells like one, and still behaves like one...<P><BR>who am I kidding? She is, without question, the vessel of a Jezebel spirit.<P>so, do I pity her or punish her?

<BR>how do I believe anything either of them ever says?<P>when will I learn that other people (particularly sociopaths) are without conscience.<P>what do I do now?<P>gotta go study (HAH)<p>[This message has been edited by alias (edited October 12, 2000).]

also, our counselor just became HIS counselor. <P>She knew about the February contact and thought it wasn't significant. She was wrong. It is another betrayal of trust, a promise made in her office with her as witness.<P>

Having problems connecting out here, so have missed much in following you ladies. Not sure what your post said POGP, but can certainly feel the pain you are presently experiencing. If God wasn't who He says He is, I do not believe I would have any hope what so ever. It has been an interesting week, able to observe lots of "couples", to ask them what the strength of their marriages are, to watch them interact...<P>and I have been praying lots, focusing on 1 Cor 13, trying to understand what love is and is not and how I can honor the Father or have not been honoring Him by allowing the scenarios at home to continue. To truly understand what committment means, to love enough to not allow garbage to reign over the relationship, to be willing to separate to keep the love intact. <P>Haven't had much contact with hubby and the one time it occurred, the same old topic came up. Had a job offer here. Boy, was that tempting! I think more so though, it was an affirmation that God will take care of me, that He knows my heart and my desires for this marriage. In some ways I wish I could stay and help my parents out, but I know the battle for my marriage isn't complete yet.<P>The purpose for time apart is to be refreshed, renewed to continue the battle. I am not sure that has occurred in this short time away. <P>As always, HW, your prayers are a blessing. I pray for you often. I can't tell you how often when I think of you all how the spirit moves my heart to pray for you, how I carry your hurts in prayer, how quickly the tears form in my eyes that this battle should have to happen to us and yet, how, in some ways we are blessed that it is occurring to us, for it makes us more tender in spirit and more sensitive to the pain around us and encourages us to reach beyond ourselves to touch those near us who are hurting and may not know this God we have.<P>Think that the evil one's fallacy, that just because someone believes in God, they shouldn't have any problems. As long as we are here, we will have problems for we are out of our realm, away from home and we will always experience some pain, some sense of homesickness until Jesus comes back. We will always expereince some dissatisfaction I think for compared to Christ, everyone else is inadequate to meet out needs or to love us as we desire.<P>We, in turn, are inadequate to love Christ as He deserves, but He loves us anyway. How thankful I am for that love. <P>If you ever have played with modling clay, when you first pick it up, it is hard and stiff, not pliable at all. As you squish it and crunch it in your hands, it gives some and as you continue to smash it between your hands, as the warmth of your fingers saturates the clay, it gives a bit more until slowly it becomes pliable and soft, moldable. <P>Paul talks about being poured out like a drink offering and that is what I am experiencing right now I think. I think of the old medical days, where they thought it was good for you to do bloodletting to get the poison out and ended up killing more people than doing good. <P>I am not enhancing the cause of Christ or pursuing love if I allow the verbal abuse to continue, if I allow the focus of our marriage to remain on the topic my H chooses, if I allow the focus to be on anything other than Christ and the love He has for us. Continue to pray for wisdom for me as I separate these thoughts and take the next necessary steps in my marriage for love.<P>Hugs to you all.

Lizzie, I am SO glad you caught it in time!!!<P>Does this mean she is still facing ramifications at work?<P>