Sue -- We have had the coldest winter in 26 years!!! The last two days though, we got into the low 60's!!! I finally got the kids out of the house to play!!!

I know I have not posted much lately, I just feel bad posting "poor me" all the time!!! Things are fine with my H and me... he is a wonderful man!!! My "sister" still won't come clean, and she continues to put my mom in the middle!!! I really have to force myself not to just walk away from my family!!! My mom can't upset "her", so as usual "she" gets extra special treatment... while my H is being treated like nothing!!! Which in turn means I get treated like "not much"!!!

I know that my mom can't "pick" one of us over the other... yet it feels like she has... and she has not picked me!!! Now my mom is talking about rotating holidays so that "she" can be aroud the family... WHILE I GET TO STAY HOME!!! What have I done to deserve being left out????? I told my mother that I will NOT stay away from the family on holidays, and if "she" does not like it... "SHE" can stay away!!! (even though I had to accept that if "she" is there, I can not go with my H!!!)

It all goes back to ME being punished for doing nothing... except trying to save my family!!! (selfish me!!!)

My mom is the one who told my H..."Once you marry my daughter, you become my son", any yet she says she has to love my sister because she is her daughter... what about my H??? How convenient that she has forgotten her own words!!!

I love spending time with my mom, but I am sick of hearing about "her" (even after I have asked my mom not to discuss her with me - or me with her) and I am sick of the little "jabs" she throws about my H!!! And believe me, I have asked her to NOT be rude about my H to me!!!

I am soooo ready to just give up!!! Let that b*tch have the family, and just walk away!!! I still have my MIL and SIL... and most important I have my girls and my H!!! Do I really need to keep exposing myself to pain that I don't deserve???!!!?? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Well, here I went on AGAIN about "Poor Me".... I hope you are doing well!!!

Hi MC

Glad to hear from you. Up and down for me. More down that up lately. Finding out stuff I didn't want to find out.

The first thing I thought of when I read the part about you separating yourself from your family, I think that would be hard for you. I really believe it would cause you great pain. You have your other sister, your cop brother. Maybe a short break would help. I know it is hard for you to hear about your "bad" sister.

When ever they start to put your H down, or talk about your "bad" sister as if she is great, you could get up and walk away. Eventually they should get the hint that you will not stay and listen. You tell them you don't want to hear this stuff, and they talk to you about it, when you stay and listen, it is contradicting what you really want. If you walk away, or change the subject without commenting on what they were talking about, they will get the message that it is not up for discussion with you. I know, sort of rude, but it is also rude to bring this up to you when you don't want to talk about it.

Temps in the 60's today. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sue - Things have been OK. Unfortunatly my H is gone untill mid April, so the seperation thing is a little tough. I talk to him every day, but I still have a little insecurity that pops it's ugly head. I really don't think he could ever do this to me again.... but I also never thought he could do it in the first place... sigh...
I have been going to our therapist alone since he has been gone, and it has really helped.

The thing that is hardest for me is when I bump into someone who knows both me and my "sister", and they ask me how she is!!! My usual reply is "fine"... but it is really hard for me to not blurt out "she's a raving psyco who is trying to destroy my life and I hate her for it!!!" I know she is saying bad things about me and my H to people, but I can't get myself to sink to her level.... I almost wish I could! She deserves to have people know what she really is!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I hope things are going better for you.

All my best!
-mc

I fell hard for my wifes sister, I'm not sure if she felt the same way, but for a while she spent a lot of time with us at my house,and many times her and i did things alone, [social events in public],she is younger than me but she tends to go out with older guys, and she and i got along very well, I never made a move on her, but many times i wished she would have made the first move,all these years later I still wonder if she felt anything for me . i could not bring my self to betray my wife with her own sister,and I know IF, If she really felt anything for me she didnt want to hurt her sister either. its funny how you fall for someone, when we first met i didnt like her, and I would never have looked at a girl like her,but one day I happened to look at her and I just melted, I had no intention of ever having those feelings, i felt a spark when we looked at each other. I know she felt something too, but i will never know what that was. I suffered through many family events fighting off my feelings that i wished i didnt have,she is not a beautiful woman,but something about her was beautiful to me. I said nothing to anyone, but my mother and a sister in law cornered me one fday and asked me if something was going on between her and I, they senced something, i dont know if i was giving it off or she was... They both said we would have been cute together and commended me for not acting on those deep feelings they felt, and nothing ever came of it. i'm proud that i didnt break up my marriage and a family bond over it. I dont think i could have forgiven my self for hurting my wife that way....fast foreward to today, my wife seems to not care about hurting my feelings at will, funny how that works...I guess my point in sharing this is that people make choices... i womder where i'd be today if i made a different choice???

Quick note to Forty-one - you did the right thing. Regardless of what you W is doing now, resisting the temptations of an A is always a good thing.

MC,

Things are okay with me. Ups and downs, lately more downs than ups. I know one thing for sure, things will work out. (I just don't know how they will work out, and I will be okay). (being 42, has some advantages, you can see that things always have a way of working out, the question is, what will be the final result)

Your H will be home before you know it. I know it is hard to trust them. I honestly think your H has learned his lesson the hard way and at your expense. Trust your instincts.

Your sister- well, it will take some time, eventually you will be able to really accept that there is nothing you can do about her, except keep her at a distance.

MC - please e-mail me

Let me know when you have this, so I can remove ti

Thanks
Sue

<small>[ April 01, 2003, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: Sue with hope ]</small>

Sue -- Got it!!! Thank you!!!

-mc