I love my wife. She admitted to having an Emotional Affair for the past year and a half. Because she felt we were drifting apart. She said she feels awful now and that I "deserve better". So, she moved out yesterday while I was at work. Not nearly 'moved out' as much as an overnight bag, some toiletries and her wedding ring. She doesn't talk about divorce, and still talks about paying our house bills next week, balancing our account, watching what we recorded on our Tivo, going out together friday night, etc.

She's been going to therapy for anxiety over this since admitting it to me and her therapist said that if she feels it necessary to live at a friend's house (a married couple) for a week or so, -then that's what she should do until she feels like she can manage herself and not be so anxiety-ridden anymore.

My problem is that while I know she is no longer in contact with the OM (stopped talking to him over a month ago) I still worry and miss her.

She calls me twice a day, says "I love you" and told me that she needs to be alone for a while to "get herself re-set." She said she couldn't stay at home anymore because I was walking on eggshells around her (true) and that I was enabling her to feel sorry for herself and continue to have low self esteem (true) because I do almost everything for her. She says that she *knows* that I love her and that my devotion to her is simply me being a man and taking care of things so she won't have to worry about house chores, etc. But she also said that living in our friends' guest room for a week (+) or (-) will make her feel "on her own" with no one doing anything for her to get a grip on herself as a person.

Again, her doctor agreed with her. I do not have ill feelings toward this. I just miss her. When I've prayed on this situation. I pray she will get out of the fog. But I have to be honest, I don't want her back as she is *now*. And in some ways I feel awful for feeling that. But I've cried my eyes dry over the last few weeks. There's nothing left except a dull pain and the feeling that by her leaving our home, I've lost my wife forever.

I'm a mess right now. I'm trying to be brave.

Married: 4 years this July
She: 33
Me: 39
No children.

LikeIron

Welcome like_iron...

There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

It has a lot of quick links to many of the most important MB sites...
Click here ==> General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)... it is now near the TOP.

About your post...

Even if you don't think you need to... doo start on a Plan A...
Check out the post Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.).

It's not just a method to 'win back you W' (no guarantees there)...
...but a way to learn how become a better you...
...by doing for others.

The fact that you don't have children....
...is a double edged sword.

She has less reason for comming back...
...but lives of children are not disrupted.

Work on redeveloping you lost activities...
...include some "faith" building...
...and continue, in Love, to Plan A... from a distance.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jim / NSR