Well it has been a week today since my H dropped the affair bomb on me. I have stressed how important it is for him to cut the ties with this witch! The problem is he works with her, although not in close proximity all day but he does come in contact with her. Quitting the job is not an option at this point because we depend on the income.

As of yesterday things have improved some. He has begun showing affection for me by inniciating it. But I know she still contact him and I am unsure of he has broken it off. So I asked him today and still have no reply. He works 12 hour days and I can't wait for him to come home to address things. I have laid off the barrage of attacks on him. I have been warm and tender as I can be and it seems to be working. But it feels like I am the one making up for things. I am not the one who cheated HE needs to be the one to make the moves to make things right with me! But then I think if I don't start showing kindness nothing will go forward.

The biggest problem is him running into her on a daily basis & I don't know if it will EVER stop! I wrote a letter to him explaining my feelings but not the plan B letter I think it is too soon for that now. I mean is there a time period I should wait or something? Like how long do you wait before you go to plan B anyway?

Sorry for the length but this weighs heavy on my mind. Thanks for reading.

Welcome to MB!

I'm sorry for what has brought you here. You will find that there are many wonderful people here who can help. I haven't been through the trauma of an affair myself but this is what I do know. He must end ANY and ALL contact with her for your marriage to have a chance. If that means changing jobs, then so be it. Besides, which is more important a job or a marriage. I believe you might answer a marriage because otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Do you have any children? If so, how old? Please tell us a much as you can about your history so that we can help you more.

You can get through this.

Ok here goes;

We have been married for almost 8 years come Sept. But we have known each other for 10 years. We have a 10 month old son.

This witch has been working with him for the last year she is 25 he is 30 I am 34. She has a boyfirend she has been with for 8 years. I have suspected something going on a few months ago when I started noticing him not acting right and the cell phone bill had the same number over & over. LOTS of text messages I mean 374 at times etc. He says he had sex with her twice in December. He does not know why he did it and is very sorry.

IT all started I think when he got the new job promotion MORE responsibility more hours. He is never home he works one month of days 7am-7pm and a month of nights 7pm-7am. Has 4 days off and works 2 of them for OT which we need the money for. I don't know if all the pressure of being a new parent & promotion drove him to it or what?

I spoke to our neighbor whom we are close to. He told our friend that he is not going to leave us and he also said he is stopping everything with her. Now they work together but she is in the lab on the other side of the building and he is in the warehouse. But they will run into each other it is unavoidable. I sent her a little message of my own and she is now scared of me (I didn't threaten her)as she should be! As of today they are still communicating I am hoping he is ending it and she is being clingy or something.

If he doesn't stop it I am ready to step in and call her myself and tell her to STOP!! Then I was going to call her boyfriend and tell him. But cutting contact with her is KEY I know I just have to give him time I guess. But how long is too long to wait for this? I am ready to call her NOW I need some advise.

So in the smallest nutshell that is the misery that has become my life. I can't help but think I caused it because I wasnt doing something he desired. I am backing off of him not riding him so much let him think clearly. I am eating after a week of starving. He was off the last 2 days & they were pretty good one's he showed affection to me yesterday but who knows how long it will last.

Sorry so long thanks in advance for your help!