D Day was 10/22. H is living with OW in another state. Was still lying about the A until Xmas weekend when he took son to OW house and I confronted them. Called Friday and said that he was coming into town for the weekend and wanted to spend Saturday with our Son. I told him Son was sick, but he was welcome to visit with him at our home. He agreed. I informed H if anything changed to let me know. Well Saturday came and H was a no show and no phone call. I have told him that I want to work on our marriage. When we do talk I try to be reasonable with his requests and to not LB. HOwever, I feel like he just keeps hurting my son and I and I think maybe it should be time for no contact. How should I handle no contact with having a 3 year old. I do not want son exposed to OW. Any advice?

2 1/2 months of Plan A...<BR>...especially a "long distance" Plan A is not much.<P>You have some real concerns...<BR>...not having OW... have any dealings with your S!!!<BR>...unless you (ala-Plan A) talk to your H and make this just "be the way it has to be"...<BR>...your only other recourse is to file for a separation/divorce.<P>First do check with an attorney if something else can be done. So many of the laws are "state" specific.<P>If you need to <B>protect</B> yourself legally (and/or financially)... I usually make the recommendation of finding a <B>good</B> attorney. A good place to start off is at the <A HREF="http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html" TARGET=_blank>Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search</A> site. Do a search within your county... look for only "family law" specialists(>80% in divorce/custody/etc.)... make sure they do a lot of "family law committee work"... if they know the judges all the better... You can normally find a few that will give initial counseling free of charge.<BR><A HREF="http://www.uslaw.com" TARGET=_blank>USLaw.com</A> (an alternative search site)<P>Keeping the OW away from you S falls into a "protection" issue!<P>Will this be viewed as a LB by your H...<BR>...most likely<BR>...but it's a move <B>you</B> must decide on.<P>If you can do all this without moving to Plan B...<BR>...do it!<BR>...again 2 1/2 months is a bit short...<P>If you can't... learn more about Plan B...<BR>see my posts... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000177.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B - 101 (2nd ed.)</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000413.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B - 201</A>.<P>Draft the Plan B letter...<BR>...get it reviewed here (on the forum(s)...)<BR>...think through all the logistics<BR>...and then ask yourself...<BR>......"can I do this... since he(H) may never come back"!<P>You have my thoughts and prayers.<P> <P>Jim<BR>

Hi, I know exactly how you feel and the lies are incredible. I only plan A'd for a shorttime too, but in the end knew there was no hope for our marriage.<P>Yor husband should still beable to see S. I have put in stipulations that my H only sees our 5 year old D in the city I live and D has no contact with OW at all. Initially your H and S have to form a new relationship with out anyinterference. <P>If you really want your marriage back together then keep plan aing although prepared to get hurt ovver and over again. If you feel strong plan b and continue getting a new life.<P>My H still calls me and tries to be friends, I get so hurt and angry because of the lies. You cant change them you can only change you for the better.<P>I dont know which way you want to go but i will support you either way.