I called him this morning at his hotel room - I wanted to talk to him about the so called transfer. I could sense she was there. I asked him to tell me that he loved me in front of her and his response was "I'm not comfortable with that, don't ruin my day, I'll call you back". He's still lying. I know she can't spend the night but I know she comes early in the morning for sure now.<p>What do I do? Do I cut off all contact? Is the writing really on the wall? HELP ME PLEASE I'M TOTALLY FREAKING OUT THIS MORNING!!!!

H&S:
I replied to your thread under GQ II. Sorry to hear about your pain. Do your best to stay calm though I know it seems like a moment of panic. It hurts so much sometimes, but the idea of a lot of advice I hear and give is to hang in there as long as you believe YOU can tolerate. So while im not sure your story quite yet; Start off by doing your best to get youself in order, so you can try to think a little clearer. Some of the worst mistakes any of us BS, myself included, make are when we are SO emotional feeling upset, or angry or betrayed or just feeling everything so much we make bad desicions that just make it harder to recover. What this can mean is read here, post, see a counselor (individual not just MC) if necessary take medication for depression, find someone to talk to, other than your H for now. <p>THEN with a clear head you can make a plan, make desicions to positively affect your marriage. Plan A away... we cant change our WS's minds, it has to come from within them. BUT it is far from impossible. Make sure you are doing your best plan A you can. Or worse comes to worse you can set your limits and decide how much you can take before you goto plan B.<p>Keep posting ok?<p>-HI

H&S,<p>I don't know your current situation, but it doesn't sound good. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I agree with HanginIn - get yourself together (with meds. if necessary) then start your plan.<p>Breathe... Recover, Refocus and Regenerate!<p>{{{{{{H&S}}}}}}<p>God Bless!