PLEASE HELP ME FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!<p>I lost it last night! My WH didnt come home from work until 11pm ( hes off at 5:30)! He did tell me last week that he had a training day in the city on this day. But I know it was a lie. I know he used that as an excuse to be with the OW till late. By 9:00 I was balling my eyes out. I just couldnt take it anymore. Im tired of being here while hes out with her. It hurts so bad. So I packed up the kids and went to my sisters house to spend the night. At 12:00am he was at the door balling his eyes out! He said why did you do this! Why did you take my baby away from me? I told you where I was going to be . And I come home to an empty house. So we got into it. I told him Im sick of his bull****. I cant sit around while hes out with her. And yes he was denying all of it. Well he wanted our son to come home and he was forcing it . It got pretty ugly. So I ended up just comming home as well. Now he hates me. He thinks Im trying to take our son away from him. And what really hurts is that I think he could care less if I left, just as long as he has his son. He totaly doesnt understand why I had to leave. He could care less about my feelings. He just wants his son.. I wish he wanted me. Now I think I made everything worse and I wouldnt be surprised if he is making his own plan B. I dont know what to do???? I hurt. Im Scared. Im Confused. I wish things werent worse. I want him to see what hes doing to us. To me. Even his own Mother told me to leave for awhile to let him know what it feels like to be without us. I think He would be happy if I left. As long as he has his son. I think hes only with me cause hes scared I'll move away with our son.I really think hes in love with the OW and wants to be with her.<p>Please help me!!!!!! I dont know what to do!!!!! I want to leave but I dont want to make things worse. And I cant stand being here when hes out with her. Please respond ASAP.<p>Thanks
PI
.

PI -- Ok, take a deep breath. Remember, during the early stages after discovery, the WS are still in a fog/acting like aliens have abducted their brains. <p>Yes, you probably LB'd, but that is totally understandable in the situation you described. One step forward, two steps back. One day we LB because the WH does something we perceive as outrageous (and your H's action certainly seems to qualify for that/staying out and then making you feel like doodoo). You can calm yourself and try again even when you feel like it will be really difficult. <p>Try doing what they call a 180 degree shift. Do everything in your power today to act like nothing is wrong -- in fact, go out of your way to be friendly. You can do it. <p>Go on the just found out forum here and look at Seahorse's thread -- I think the title has something about Worthatry/WAT in it. If she can do it, we can do it. <p>Post on General Questions II and you'll get more responses. I'll keep looking for you. I'm here with you.

Hi PI, Why do you feel that he was with the OW, do you know wether or not he was at a training?
Be very careful with feelings, they can be deceiving! If he truly is not seeing the OW, he should be alright with you talking to someone at his work, he needs to realize that he has shot down your trust in him, and needs to earn it back.
Good advise from Unsureheart, take a deep breath and give it all you've got. Of course he is going to be upset that you left with his son, but what does he expect? He needs to know that he has a responsibility as a father and a husband, and he is not doing his part.
I sure wish I could take this pain away from you, my heart goes out to you, and will continue to pray that the Lord give you wisdom, discernment and patience to get through this.
There is a song I sing, it goes, "Sometimes He calms the storm, with a whispered 'peace be still', He can settle any sea, but it doesn't mean he will. Sometimes He holds us close and lets the winds and waves go wild, sometimes He calms the storm and other times He calms His child...."
Let Him hold you close during this storm, the outcome is in His hands.
I hope these words encourage you my friend.
Love Monika [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

check out this link It's called' Husband and wives, the marriage covenant. It's great!
http://www.family.org/married/comm/A0017718.cfm
Monika [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Monika and Unsure,<p>Thanks for your words. They did help. Im feeling a little better and back to Plan A. I emailed my H at work and said I just wanted him to understand that I was not trying to "punish him" by taking our son away. I was leaving for the night for my own sanity. I told him when he does these things I cant handle sitting at home. I said I would never take our son away from him and I would never do that to our son. I said I cant make you change , all I can do is change myself and do what makes me feel better. Then I ended it with I love you, I will always love you and I am here for us. Does that sound ok? I was trying to keep it simple . I dont want things to get worse between us. I need to let him go and move on in my own way . Get better and stronger. But how can we work on our marriage when hes still trying to get away? Making excuses to leave and do things on his own. The week of D-Day he was fine. Really trying. Now hes back to his old pattern and old additude. What do I do? How do I act? Just let him go when ever he wants, with a smile? If Im not ok with it, he gets all mad at me, starting it all over again. So how do I get Plan A to work? Its like he doesnt even want to be here. He told me he doesnt need to prove anything to anyone. What do I do???? I feel like if I put up with this, Im a doormat. But I cant tell him where to go and where not to go. He finds every reason to go do things alone and keep me stuck at home. I feel like he really wants to be with her so bad. How do I turn this around? What do I say when he walks in the door late again??<p>PI

Hi PI
I think the letter you wrote was great. Continue to be honest with him. If he is not being honest with you, he will be convicted of it, and it will show. I wish I could tell you what you should do, and how you should act, but I can't. I know it would be great to have someone to tell you exactly what to do, but we are all human, we make mistakes. But God can give you the answers you need. I just picked up a book this morning, I should be picking up every day, but don't. It is a wonderful book full of prayers that will help you and your M. The book is called "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. It has a prayer every day for you to pray for your H, every day for a month. Continue to pray these prayers and watch the miracles happen. I am going to begin to pray these for my H again. I put it down for too long, and have been unwilling to pray for him lately, because thinking of him makes me sad. But I must put my selfishness aside, he needs prayer! Please go get this book, I will send you a sample of one of the shorter prayers tomorrow, as I have to find the right one for you!
Until then, God be with you and give you clear direction in what you are to do!
Monika
]"The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. If I can give you any advise at all, it would be to run out and get this book fast!<p>[ April 18, 2002: Message edited by: Monika ]</p>

I agree with Monika, that was a good email letter you sent. What can you do? The next time he says he's going to be late, tell him ok, that's fine because you made plans to go to your sisters or somewhere else. You need him to see that you can live without him, can go do other things, but you don't have to appear mean or retaliatory -- just that if he's not going to be home; you're not going to sit at home.<p>That accomplishes several things. First, it doesn't leave you sitting at home fretting/wondering/obsessing about what he is or is not doing. Second, you get to go do something you would enjoy. Third, it lets him know that you are not going to sit at home pining away for him.<p>This has been the hardest thing for me. I keep thinking I shouldn't make plans so that if he has time we'll spend it together. Well, that meant nights at home obsessing. So, now, if I'm feeling blue, I call a friend and go over to her house even if it's just to have a glass of wine after dinner or help her bathe her kids. Or, I g to the movies -- I know that's harder for you because you've got young kids. Just do something/anything that will take your mind off of him being out. <p>You are doing great so far. That email letter was very controlled, to the point, and not witchy sounding or needy. You go girl.

Monika & Unsure,<p>Monika ,I will get that book. It sounds like a good one. Your prayers are helping me so much. Everything Im getting from you guys is really helping alot. I posted in the other topic about last night. I felt so much better. My H came home and I was very friendly (like you said Unsure) and he responded very positive. We went on about our evening, went to the gym. I caught him asking this guy if he could use his cell phone and he went into the bathroom to call her Im sure. Because why else would he be hiding to make a call and he called the guy over when he saw me standing there. Gave him the phone and never told me he used the guys phone (the guy told me). So I didnt even ask or say anything. I just let him tell me his little lie and I sucked it all up and acted as if. I took a deep breath and used all of your guys thoughts, wisdom, and prayers. And I felt so good!! I was so proud of my self not LBing him!! It made me feel stronger. And knowing that the A has to end on its own really helps. And not being blind about it does also. Because I know in the end which ever way this turns out, I will be a better person. It felt so good! I want this positive additude to stay. It is so hard bitting your lip.And Unsure, I know what your saying about trying to plan things. Whats hard for me is I try to plan things for us and he finds away to get out of it and see her. How do I deal with that? Just let him go and not LB him? That is so hard. I have been through so much in my life, even my own mother left me when I was 12 and this hurts so much more. This is truly the hardest thing Ive ever had to deal with. <p>Right now my H is just getting off work and these next few hours are the hardest for me. Im starting to feel like poop again. I think I need to keep myself busy. What makes it even harder is that I dont have a job. Its like Im living my life for everyone else. I have been looking. I need to be able to take care of myself. <p>Hang in ther Unsure & Monika. Your in my prayers also. Monika, I comend you for sticking by your marriage so hard and positively. You are an insparation. I hope to one day have as much faith as you. Take care I hope all is well for the two of you.<p>PI

Hey PI, great attitude! I am proud of you! Unsure heart has very good advice, and even if he is calling the OW, if you are constantly loving him no matter what, he is going to see how much that love is... I often think about when my H was still here, we lived in the same house, but seperate bedrooms for the last 9 months of our marriage, during that time, he was seeing other women I'm sure, but I did alot of soul searching during that time, and loved him and did everything I could to show him how much I loved him. He wouldn't touch me physically, but I know I got his heart. It is unfortunate that he had to give in to his lust rather than the love for his wife, but I believe with all my heart that he still loves me, just couldn't handle hurting me anymore, so it was easier for him to say that he didn't love me anymore, and leave than to face up to his many sins. I also know that he was and still is, running from God, and because he could see that I was getting closer to God, he couldn't deal with it. It's truly too bad that he took that road, but like I said before, God will never give up on him, I am so grateful for that. When he comes to terms with God, he will remember the love he has waiting for him here at home.
I gotta tell ya, it's been a tough week for me too, as I read the life stories here,it brings back alot of pain and memories. But I know that God allowed me to go through it so that I could be an encouragement to others.
I actually started praying for my H again today, it felt good, but the devil is very upset that I am, and is throwing all kinds of bad memories at me, I just give them over to the Lord and get on with my day! I actually had a dream about him last night, (that doesn't happen very often) and it left me wondering what's going on with him. I pray I find something out soon.
Anyway enough about me, I guess I just needed to spew! Thanks for your prayers too, and hang in there! We're gonna win this!
Love Monika

PI -- I am taking my own advice and going to my sister's for the weekend. I just couldn't stand the thought of waiting for him to tell me when, if, what we might or might not do this weekend. I also went out to dinner last night with friends and their kids. It was fun and it meant I was not at home when he called.<p>I cannot control his behavior,but I can control mine. When I'm feeling a little out of control like I might LB big time; I make other plans. I know that I'm having one of those periods where I just want to say something sarcastic to him like " I know you are with OW; don't insult me by pretending otherwise" -- so that's when I know it's time to remove myself from the situation and not give myself the opportunity to be sound like a big *itch.<p>I won't be on this weekend, but I'll be thinking about you and praying for you. I'll be up to my eyeballs in setting up a new doll house for my niece and taking 8 year old twins bike riding. I love them dearly and they provide me with such joy right now.<p>Take care PI and Monika -- I'll check in with you on Monday.

PI,<p>I know what your going through, as do many who visit here. You're not alone. Coming from someone who's W had an affair with an OM after 18 years of marriage, my eyes have been open to the emotionally painful events surrounding an A.<p>The people here have sound advice and the MB principles make good sense. I found however that as with anything you have to meld your own situation into them. Inner strength plays an important role, and ultimately you have to rely on yourself and draw from your inner core to give yourself the power to go on.<p>I have reconciled my M by using some of the MB principles. I had difficulty getting all of them to apply to me and my M. I know my W loves me, and I her, but somehow along the way we didn't dance to the same tune and we both felt the pain. Things are much better now, but I still think of those crazy times when the A was in full force and it was all-consuming. The group here helped a great deal. I'm not an expert at this but am willing to lend an ear in this difficult time.<p>Sincerely Echalon
echalon61@hotmail.com

Hi All,<p>I didnt get a chance to post in a few, been somewhat busy. Still just taking it day by day. But I am seeing a good change in ME everyday. Where Im at right now is so amazing! I feel like a new person is comming out of me and wants to live! I can see ( truly see ) that I have no control over what my WH says, does, feels, thinks, and wants. I only have control over my self and my life. Ive said this before but I dont think I really felt it. I was still worried about my H ( dont get me wrong, I still wonder ). But Im not letting his actions and moods get to me. Im just trying to live my life. Part of why I havent posted in a few was because I relized I had been spending my entire days on line! Believe me it has helped but I wasnt doing anything to move forward. And not only that, I have my little baby with me during the day. He needs me to pay better attention to him. So Friday I had a GREAT day! This modeling agency wants me to do alot of work for them ( I model ),and this gym wants to hire me as a trainer ( Im also a trainer ). So that gave me the boost I needed. It made me feel good again to feel good about my self. To know that I am worth something. Plus I need to become independant again. This will be good for me. I have to go to both places today. And spirtuly I feel like Ive grown. I commanded satin ( in Gods name ) to leave me alone! To leave my life! Because God is takin over! Im letting God totaly take over. My faith in God has gotten me so far ( and all of you guys ). I know God will take care of me. And I know God was calling me. All I can do for my H is pray for him and love him. I thank God for everyday that he is still here. I feel a little better everyday. And this beautiful weather makes it even better.<p>Monika, you have so much streangth and faith. I really admire that about you. Keep hanging in there. Youve been hanging on for so long. You know God has plans for you. Ive been praying for you and your H. There is a reason he hasnt gotten a DV. I will keep praying for the both of you.<p>Unsure, Gosh you sound like you are right there with me on the same page. I know it is sooo hard. I took your advice and just started making my own plans. I cant wait around for him anymore. This is OUR LIVES! We have to keep on living. And loving. Even though you want to LB BIG, BIG time ( that is so me). But I am trying to work on that. I hope you had a good time at your sisters this past weekend. Let me know how your doing. Youve been in my prayers also. Hang in there too.<p>Echalon, Thanks for your reply. All the support I can get really helps .Its good to here from people who have past the point Im at , so I can learn from them and gain more faith. It also helps to share with the ones who are going through exactly what you are going through. I guess we all have gone though it at one point or another. Please share some of your experience with me. Id like to hear from someone whos gotten past this point. I really hope we make it. You hang in there too. <p>Have a great day All!
PI

I am new here. I have been encouraged by all of you, especially Monika. I am amazed by the faith and perserverance of all of you. If I can get to the point where my attitude is like all of yours, I will be in a much better place. To P I, I know all of the emotions you have been talking about. Reading your posts made me feel like I wasn't crazy, but that others were going through the same thing. How did you guys get to where you are?

PI -- I am so proud of you and you've been able to do all of this while taking care of young children. I had a great time with my sister and her three kids. I took them to Museum of Natural History and to a planetarium and on a hike. They love me unconditionally and I love them the same. They are my joy. <p>My WH called me on Sunday to tell me that he had been with the OW on a 6 hour car trip on the way home from their regional meeting. I LB'd, but not badly. I am glad that he told me, but still unhappy about it. He says he needed to do this to end it properly. I think I bit my tongue so hard at that remark that I could taste blood. AAAH. I told him that I really did not think I could handle this continued contact with the OW any longer.<p>I don't really know what is going on, but he showed up at the airport when my plane arrived home from my sister's. I have no idea how to interpret this, but have to take things one day at a time.<p>Your words today have inspired me to keep focused on me and not let his thoughtless actions hinder my progress. <p>I am not sure I have Monika's perservance -- but having the two of you here keeps up my resolve to try and hold this together even on my worst days.<p>One poster asked -- how do you perserve? I can't speak for the others, but here are my tactics. I write in my journal every day and that helps. I make a list of the things I have to be thankful for at least once a week. I make a point of calling a friend at least once a day. I try and do something nice for others on a daily basis, even if it is just asking the grocery check out clerk how their day is going and wishing them a good day. I read here every day -- limiting it to one hour only so that I don't get obsessed -- for inspiration and the good thoughts of others that have walked here before me or are walking with me now. I am looking for a volunteer opportunity for a women's shelter or other activity to give back to my community and help others. And I read. It is not easy and some days are really bad and others I feel empowered and strong. I may not make it in plan A too much longer, but I am trying.

Hello All!<p>Hindering_us, Im glad that you found this site. You would not believe how much it (mostly the people) has helped. This is one of the hardest things your going to go through, so get all the support and knowledge you can get. Thats whats gotten me this far. The biggest thing for me is my faith in God. This entire situation your going through is just too much for you to try to handle sometimes, so you just have to put your faith in God and know that he is taking care of you. I dont know exactly what your situation is (let me know where you posted, "just found out"?)
but what ever it is ,you have people here that will care about you , understand you, and totaly be there for you ( shouldnt it be our BS?). Alot of the steps Unsure is taking are the same ones for me. Im reaching out in every direction. God (meaning: God, Preist, church,classes), counslers, friends, family, this site, books, doing things for MYSELF that make me feel good, doing things with and for my children, giving back to others/comunity,being kind/showing my changes to my WH ( but not being a doormat),and i am actualy getting a journal today. All of these things have helped me soo much. Reading about what your going through really helps you to get an understanding of your part, your BS, and how to make it work ( if thats what you want). It has been slowly getting better day by day. But believe me this is such an emotional rollercoaster. And Im still doing the one step forward, two steps back. It used to be one step forward, five steps back ( remember Unsure?). Just hang in there. Believe it or not you will get through this. Remember you have people here that are here for you. Take care of your self, its the best thing you can do.<p>Unsure, Im glad you had a good weekend. I did too. Doesnt it feel better to not worry about your WH and just take care of your self. Thats good he is being honest w/ you about the OW. Although it may not be what you want to hear. Keep biting that tounge. Mine has teeth marks too. LBing is my biggest problem. One of the things Ive been doing when I want to LB is getting in the car and take a little drive, just clear my head and regroup. The thoughts that help me are: Im not going to let him make me unhappy, Im not going to let him determain my worth, Im not going to let satin win this one, God is taking care of us, and THIS IS MY LIFE. So which ever way this goes, I know Ive done my best. And Im not making any rash decisions. I'll leave that up to my H.<p>As for me, Im ok today. Just hangin in there. The trainer job pays GREAT so that will help. Plus I can set my own hours and bring my baby to the daycare. My issues for the moment are, what plans does my H have. I get the feeling he has a plan . I know I shouldnt worry about it, but at the same time I need to watch my back. I feel like hes waiting for me to get on my feet then he can leave. I dont know? Im just sticking to my plan. Still showing him that I love him and this is his home. He has been home alot, but hes still distant in someways. Im trying not to figure him out. He has lied so much that I wouldnt put anything past him. I wish I could believe him that he is trying whole heartedly . But his actions speek louder than words. <p>I dont know, got to talk my self out of these thoughts again. Got to pray my heart out again. Got to make this day a good one again.<p>You guys take care. And hang in there.<p>PI

PI -- I'm in a bit of crunch at work right now, so no time for a long post -- BUT I did want you to know what Jennifer Harley Chalmers said to me last week in counseling. She said you have a plan and the WH and OW most likely do not. That's the advantage. The WH may seem to you like they have a plan, but they barely have a grip on what's going on; much less a plan.
Just wanted you to know that.

Thanks for the encouragement P I. I posted my 'story' under the just found out section. I felt like I could relate to your story because I am at home with kids and am financially dependent on WH, also my WH made video with OW (fortunately I didn't see it, he told me about it when he was coming clean for the 2nd time [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] ). I still have my up and down days, but realize that most people here are the same way. Right now he has no contact and is doing all the right things, but I don't know whether to buy it or not because of 2 yrs. of lying/manipulating, and 1 more yr. of coming clean and pretending it was over when it wasn't. I'm at the point now where I'm trying not to focus on what he is or isn't doing. I want to do what I'm supposed to do regardless of what he does. I try to remember to look to Jesus as my example, that way I don't get discouraged. I must say this whole horrible experience has strengthened me spiritually if nothing else.
Happily I can say I had a good day today because I did some of the things you and unsureheart mentioned. I prayed, read my Bible, journaled, and did some things for myself for once.
I have the book The Power of a Praying Wife that was mentioned previously. I pulled that out again. I felt it did me a lot of good in the past. I felt like my prayers really made a difference in the last year, especially when they were focused on the areas the book suggested. Of course when I was praying I didn't realize he was still seeing her!
Anyway, I hope that things get better for you. You seem to be handling things very well. I pray that your situation improves.
I guess we just have to remember God is in control no matter how bad and out of sorts things may seem. Take care.

Thanks for the encouragement P I. I posted my 'story' under the just found out section. I felt like I could relate to your story because I am at home with kids and am financially dependent on WH, also my WH made video with OW (fortunately I didn't see it, he told me about it when he was coming clean for the 2nd time [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] ). I still have my up and down days, but realize that most people here are the same way. Right now he has no contact and is doing all the right things, but I don't know whether to buy it or not because of 2 yrs. of lying/manipulating, and 1 more yr. of coming clean and pretending it was over when it wasn't. I'm at the point now where I'm trying not to focus on what he is or isn't doing. I want to do what I'm supposed to do regardless of what he does. I try to remember to look to Jesus as my example, that way I don't get discouraged. I must say this whole horrible experience has strengthened me spiritually if nothing else.
Happily I can say I had a good day today because I did some of the things you and unsureheart mentioned. I prayed, read my Bible, journaled, and did some things for myself for once.
I have the book The Power of a Praying Wife that was mentioned previously. I pulled that out again. I felt it did me a lot of good in the past. I felt like my prayers really made a difference in the last year, especially when they were focused on the areas the book suggested. Of course when I was praying I didn't realize he was still seeing her!
Anyway, I hope that things get better for you. You seem to be handling things very well. I pray that your situation improves.
I guess we just have to remember God is in control no matter how bad and out of sorts things may seem. Take care.

Hi there PI, I too am in the same boat as you,but im the betrayed male in this awful situation. i would not wish this on my worst enemy. There is no worse pain in this world than being fooled. It has been almost 4 months since D-day and im still going crazy inside.In which im on Celexa..max dose,60mgs daily,and it really truly helps, i needed it before but never seeked help,but thats another story. i have been married going on 12 years this november,and im only 29 and my WW,is 28,yeah so age has played a pretty good role in my situation,got married to young,didnt know what love really was..so on and so on...anyways,i dont regret what i have did or been through,i see it as i am 50% reliable for my wifes affair,just my opinion,yeah she should of told me along time ago and kicked me to the curb,but she didnt and thats why im still here...anyways i have the same exact thoughts as you,i cant even mention anything about her affair or she gets mad and makes me feel as if i was the one who had the affair.i have had lots of opprotunities to do so but i am to chicken **** to do it anyways,no matter how much someone was fillin my emotional needs. Well what i am trying to say is get yourself a job,in which i bet your husband dont want you to have no part of that. You need to feel independent,in which mentally i'm sure you are but physically you aint,or vise versa,but it sure would make decisions easier within yourself,see he knows you rely on him and thinks he is irreplaceable,but much to his suprise,he most definately is. If ya go to recovery part of this board and go back a month or two and read my posts, youll see where im coming from,the same boat as you. My wife has told me all the details and all but there is just something inside of me that has not been answered,what it is i have no clue,i am walkin on pins and needles all the time,makin sure that i do the right thing,see i told my wife a while back that i felt like i was kissing her butt instead of her kissing mine,go figure..lol My main question is,how could you keep this a secret for a year and a half,the SEX thing only happened 5 times over that period,and i know for sure,cause we all worked together,my question is,how can she just give something up that has been in her mind for more that a year,something that she thought about everyday and still does.her answer was,"it wasnt that strong not to be able to walk away" Cheese and Rice,am i ever confused,was it just a sex thing? anyways,i would like to talk to you more,if ya dont mind cause we pretty much have the same situation on our hands,i almost everyday tell my self..okay your not gonna love bust today,and normally i dont,usually it builds up about 3 or 4 days and then i ask one little simple question and she says you already asked that and says,"HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MOVE TOWARD THE FUTURE WHEN YOU BRING UP THE PAST?" duh, i told her,you dont even have a darn clue,and i told her that i hope she never has to go through it in her lifetime,because i'd rather be burning in hell than to have to deal with this. We are,at this present moment in time,doing pretty good,pretty much all up to me,why? i guess i will learn soon enough, She had the perfect opprotunity to end it when it all came out and she chose not too,so that has to tell me something,she is not co-dependent or anything and her family has lots of cash"ola" to go around to help her so i think she really loves me, I think it was like 2 or 3 days after i found out about her Affair that we made love and she broke down in tears and i asked her what was the matter,she said that it meant so much more to her than with the OM, yeah right,so i told myself,but i give her credit for being honest,cause she aint the crying type by no means,anyways,jeesh i wish i had the time to continue cause i could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on..lol,but the sun has set and i must wake my loving wife and take her to bed,to snuggle by the way,something i learned that she wanted,cause whenever she would touch me in any way,,i assumed it was a sexual touch..bla bla bla...lol..i cant help it..im in my prime...i need it...lol well i sure hope all goes well for you and only you can decide what to do at the right time,it will come to you out of the blue,whether your reading posts or whatever,what will happen will be meant to be. take care and get a job dam_N it..lol see ya around...hope i didnt ramble to much but this too also helps me so much that it aint even a bit funny... love and peace to you and your family..<p>
Married-11 yrs
2Gether- 13 yrs
3 beautiful children(11,10,4) (why the gap in age..ugg...i wish i knew..lmaoo)
D-day..Jan 18,2002
in recovery every since
and doing pretty well,,,i guess...but i love her with all my heart.

Thanks for your posts,<p>Would like to chat w/ you more as well. Not having a good day at all. Need help. Please se my post on Q"s " HELP!!! Just got into it last night"<p>PI [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]