HI fishlady, I was wondering about your post name... but then read about your career in marine bilogy... I did not get to read everything and am kind of busy right now and sick to my stomach... ill... so I will keep this short... wanted to mention since I am a texan that there is a water type business... aguamarina springs I think right outside of austin, maybe in georgetown where you might find a job... ask hubby about this, email me back if you need more info, that would be better than san antonio... you can better resolve your problems together than apart. <p>Much luck, lisa [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi again, out of curiosity I search in google and found Aquamarina Springs in San Marcos, of all towns, I think a lot of college kids work there... Go for it if you love him.. he is in school and needs to stay in school, you can go there and work... give it a try and go be with him if you want the marriage.... Granted I did not read all your posts, but I say being together is much better than all this seperation... seperation doesn't really help anything in my mind! LOL! LIsa

Hi Honey, thanks for your replies and the suggestion. I'll definately look into it. H is new to the area (6 months) and hasn't been exploring outside the Austin area, so I doubt he knows much about it.<p>What's holding me back from moving there right now is our indesciveness. He is afriad of not being able to handle it and hurt us both all over again. That includes guilt if I were to move there for him. I'm afraid of him freaking out again and for me getting hurt. Unfortunately, my limbo land is, although maddening at times, it is safe.<p>I am beginning to think though that a decision has to be made one way or another. However safe my world is right now, it is not living. I do believe he misses me at times, but can't get himself to say it. Even though our last few talks have been very casual over the internet, it is nice to be able to have fun again w/ each other. For awhile, too much of our time was spent trying to solve things with words which became frustrating.<p>I haven't read your story yet, but got the gist of it from your post. Sorry for what you are going through. What part of TX are you from? <p>Again, I appreciate your ideas.
Take care,
Kathy

Here's a turn of events...<p>Got a phone call at 4:30 am Fri. night from H. He had been out drinking w/ roommate and decided to call me. Felt bad about the time after forgetting the time difference (yeah, 3:30 would have been much better [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] )<p>We start chatting and he tells me he has been thinking a lot about me and wants to tell me what he feels but that he would only tell me another night as he didn't think I would believe him since he had been drinking. <p>So, we continue talking and he tells me that he wants me to come to Texas. He had talked to his roommate about it and he said to let him know, he can be out in Jan. since he has a friend who could use a roommate.<p>Well, we talk some more, but basically he didn't want my decision just yet. He said again that we'd talk more later. <p>Surprise, eh?<p>I'll keep you posted,
K

Sounds promising.....<p>Fred

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by fishlady:
<strong>My husband and I are separated and looks like we are heading for divorce. We are in desperate need of marriage counseling but he refuses to go because he is convinced it won't work. He even has free counseling at his school, but that doesn't help either.<p>We've only been married 7 months, and I don't want my marriage to end. I still love him, but he says he isn't in love with me anymore, and can't be sexual with me. He has a long history of depression and I believe that is where our problems come from, but he says he was just unhappy in our marriage, to forget him, and find someone who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. <p>We have to wait for another 6 months before filing, so I want to use this time for counseling with hopes we can get through it.<p>Any ideas on what to do?</strong><hr></blockquote>

It seems as if he wants to make no effort at making this marriage work, and he's probably seeing someone else. Don't set yourself up to be hurt even more.
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by fishlady:
<strong>My husband and I are separated and looks like we are heading for divorce. We are in desperate need of marriage counseling but he refuses to go because he is convinced it won't work. He even has free counseling at his school, but that doesn't help either.<p>We've only been married 7 months, and I don't want my marriage to end. I still love him, but he says he isn't in love with me anymore, and can't be sexual with me. He has a long history of depression and I believe that is where our problems come from, but he says he was just unhappy in our marriage, to forget him, and find someone who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. <p>We have to wait for another 6 months before filing, so I want to use this time for counseling with hopes we can get through it.<p>Any ideas on what to do?</strong><hr></blockquote><p> [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

Kathy;<p>Long time no hear....what's up?<p>Happy Christmas-time<p>Fred

Hi Fred,<p>Sorry haven't posted in awhile, been battling some sort of weird virus-thingy. Had it for over a week now and can't shake it.<p>Have news...H has decided he wants to try and has asked me to come to TX! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Things so far are good and I'll probably be moving in Jan. He has said he sincerely wants to make this work, and is going to try his best. He's mostly been saying the right things but I'm not too concerned with that right now because I know that once i'm there the real work begins.<p>I'm still being very cautious though, haven't gotten mushy on him and haven't told him I loved him. I want that to wait until we are together and the moment seems right.<p>He even said he wants us to re-marry. This time in a church. It really touched me to hear he has been thinking about these things, it's as if his old self is poking through the fog. Let's see if the sun definately stays out this time.<p>I'll be moving in to his apartment as his roommate offered to leave, he found a place closer to campus which is what he wanted anyway. H told his parents and they are glad but they too are cautious. I think that is the same from everybody. Everyone wants to know if he is sincere, but there is no way to tell that right now until i'm there. All I can go on is what he says right now, and it seems sincere. Again, i'm being cautious.<p>I've been meaning to post, but everytime I sit down I just feel so tired and worn out. I'm off to bed right now to crash.<p>How's things with you?? Hope it is well.<p>Have a happy holiday season.
ho ho ho...
Kathy

So glad to hear from you. You are right on with wanting to be cautious.<p>Things here are same-o same-o.....I am trying to take one day at a time. A friend who workd in one of the other schools loaned me a book to help me understand the stepdaughter....<p>Snowing like a son of a gun off and on here....hoping to get a delay start tomorrow so I can get some stuff done...<p>As for the wife and I....who knows....I am trying...<p>Hope you feel better.
Fred [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]