<br>My husband, Dennis and I had a very bad fight, which escalated and went on all night. The next day, while I was gone, he packed his things. He just took what would fit in his jeep. He went to his parents in Kansas. He called me after he had been there about 10 days. For the last two months he has said he isn't sure what he wants to do about our relationship. I kept thinking it was over and he wasn't coming back. He was very non communicative. After 2 months he has found a job in a small town in Kansas about an hour and a half from his parents. He doesn't communicate with his parents either. I have my own business in Washington and we own a home here. I felt abandoned when he left. He has left me with the responsibility for the home etc. Still I wondered if there was anything to be salvaged and told him I thought I should come to Kansas, see what we thought, how we got along, and consider moving there with him. He agreed, I went, we had a wonderful 3 days. He said he wanted me to go back, sell the house, my business, pack, and move to Kansas. I agreed. Now I'm not sure.
<p>I feel he has not considered me in these last two months in this move. How do I know he will consider my needs if I go to Kansas. I am concerned about him blowing off his resposibilities here in WA. He lost his job when he left. The job he has in Kansas now pays less than he had here ($10/hr). This is a very small town in SE Kansas and there aren't many if any job oportunities for me. He is living in a stinky
<br>little house in KS now.
<p>I do love him, but feel I need to consider some of my needs as well. How do I know he won't just walk out and leave me in Kansas, like he did in Washington?
<p>I guess the main reason he wants to be in Kansas is to work for this airplane manufactuor and have the opportunity to fly. I'm not sure what Kansas has to offer me and if he would be there for me.
<p>He says he doesn't want to come back here because it's too hard to find jobs and there are too many bad memories from our fighting here.
<p>Should I give up my life here and follow him to Kansas?

hey sharon,
<br>tough situation, but here is my advice:
<br>1)lean heavily on the Lord; pray a lot about this; read the best marriage reference book...the bible(esp. those parts dealing with marriage)
<br>2)obtain as many opinions on this situation as possible, from a variety of sources(friends, relatives, clergy), esp. people you trust and have a high regard for. write these opinions down and refer to them often(like, keep a notebook)
<br>3)just based on your letter, here's what i'd do:tell dennis that you'll move to ks with him if he'll agree to marriage counselling on a regular basis for at least one year. this puts him at a crossroads and forces him to make a decision about your relationship.
<br>4)this whole ordeal will be like a process that has to be worked out: requires time and patience. in the end if you get back together it will all be worth it.