My husband and I have been married for 6 months. He has a five year old daughter who is really a great kid. She and I get along very well, but the problem is that he never gets my opinion on matters that concern her. He gets her every other weekend and wants me to be a part of her life, yet he makes decisions without me. I can't handle this, it really upsets me a great deal. He also lets her tell him what she is gonna do. To me, a five year old doesn't do that. Example: We got her this weekend and I was really looking forward to seeing her, yet when I got home she was packing to go spend the night with her cousin. He did not bother to ask me if I had plans or not, then when I confronted him about it, he said that was her decision not his. Now, to me I think the child should ask the parent not tell the parent. It caused a major argument and I am not giving in, simply because I think that I am right. He wants me to spend time with her and do all the fun things but not get involved in the other things, like decision making. This is not the first time that this has happened. Now I am at the point, that when she visits, I will do my own thing for the weekend and let them do theirs.<BR>He tends to want to please his parents, when it comes to her, than he does me. They really like to hang around the whole time she is here. I can't handle that neither. I feel like we should do our own thing, and visit the grandparents at other times. He confronts his mother about everything that goes on with his daughter, before he asks me. Now what is wrong with this picture?

God I can't believe how similiar our probs are. Apart from A few things though that I will explain. I have been married for 3 years and have been with my husband since his sone was 2 years old. I met his son almost immediately. B4 marriage my husband and i never had any problems at all. However when we got married things changed drastically! His son started (now 9) started getting in between us and wants to come over every weekend now. He alos phones every night for half an hour. Th e problem is though that my husband and him leave me out of their plans and ignore me, which has resulted in me doing the same as you. I do my own thing when he is here. His son calls the shots about when he comes and when he goes, which makes me believe that mu husband puts his ex and their plans first. Now his son does not stay overnight at our house but stays at my in-laws house, as I cannot cope with the bad attitude anymore. However my husband says I am in the wrong of course. He doesn't see that his son is manipulative and too demanding. This has caused a massive problem in our marriage. I also suffered a stillbirth last year and am still trying to conceive, but there's no sensitivity there from my husband, his son or mu in-laws. It's so distressing, it doesn't matter how much I love my husband or how mucch I do, things always boil down to his son!!!<BR>He rarely even acknowledges me when he's with his son! He feels so much guilt it's a joke!<BR>Anyway sorry about rambling on - I just couldn't believe yr message was similar to what we go thru!<BR>I hope you can resolvethings, do you think that having a child would give you and yr husband more balance, with him already havinga child?