I am married for two years now and I feel that I am ready for having a child. I expressed that to my husband and he is totally against it.
Like any other couples we have our ups and downs ...mostly this is what I think they're "normal" when 2 people get to know and live with each other-we married really fast in our relationship 2 moths after we met-...but my husband thinks the relation is compromised -"because we argue a lot and he don't think a child should be brought up in a relationship like that".....<p>Before we married I asked him if he has kids..or ever been married and such... And he told me that once 11 years , he had a girlfriend that lived with him, and that will come and go-and have relationship -sexually with ex-s , said she was pregnanat and that he was the father , but most certainly he is sure he wasn't because she had affairs with other men -in that time frame too and that she lied to him she was preganant and that she delivered the baby 12 months afterwards...
Anyway... I thought was just a "story" and not a serious ,certain thing. I did not wanted to marry , date a guy who had previous kids from other relationships and that's why I never had any -being single and not in a a marriage.<p>I think it is selfish to ask for that but I believe that it puts a lot of pressure and uncertainty and bad feeling son your marriage if you are entering with a kid -from a previous relationship - and like any beginning can be tough and why make it harder ?!...
After we got married I found a legal paper saying for him to sign his rights away to this child -cause is being set to adoption by his grandparents-from mother's childs side.. He never signed anything and ...Now after two years relatives -from his side of the family keep on popping out the subject about his child and ...it'a an hour drive away......etc...
I though it was just all a story and not real , seen pictures with this baby...... I do not know why I feel angry and cheated and ... mad ... and ask myself why it's being brought up now;after 13 years of silence -when he has a new life a marriage and I have nothing to do with it ?! I feel resentment on the fact that otehr woman had his child and ... I am being deny the right to ??!-cause he will not have any kids with me !!told me clear...and he said maybe in the future.....Why ?! <p>Now that I am married and love and respect the man I am with , and plan to live the rest of my life wirth I know I am ready to move on and have a child..
But my husband won't even have sex - with me no more being afraid "it's gonna happen"-we never had unprotected sex..
My question is this how should I convince him that it is not a bad thing to start having a "family"-and have a child <p>-(all his sisters have two to four kids each kid with a diffrent male-and he saw how hard life on a financially basis is and how out of control and wild those kids can be;drefted from mom's house or not knowing their father etc..-thing that scares him the most)- It is hard to make him understand that can be a wonderful thing in your life , sets you on a diffrent stage and level etc...to have your own and have a partener aside..<p>Well I hope you guys can help me with some advices...
