I recently have been taking fitness training with a personal trainer. Over time I developed a physical attraction for this guy and ended up flirting with him. The flirting led to us sending each other text messages, which turned into sexual text messages. The fantasy and excitement became so strong that I ended up sleeping with this guy. After the event both of us decided to end what we were doing and have decided to remain friends. I am hurting so much at the moment because I have strong feeling for this other gu, however I know that he does not feel the same about me. I think that the only reason I am feeling like this is because I know that I cannot have him and I am never going to be in a situation where I can have him.<p>I have been with my partner for 6 years and we have been married for 8 Months. I have never been happy with our sex like and feel that passion is missing. i am also unsure whether I fancy him anymore, even though I know I love him and want our marriage to work.<p>My husband and I have talked about having children, however, with this issue hanging over me, I have no interest in children at the moment.<p>How can I get this other guy out of my head and start loving my husban again. I am hurting so much at the moment and do not know what to do.<p>Can anyone help?

Go see a counselor on your own. See where your OWN head is... Straighten yourself out and figure out if you WANT to be in this marriage. And for God's sake, don't get pregnant now. It won't help the situation. I'm sure someone will 'bash' me for my post, but so be it. CLK-K

"I have never been happy with our sex like and feel that passion is missing. i am also unsure whether I fancy him anymore, even though I know I love him and want our marriage to work."<p>You need to be honest with yourself and with your husband. The fact that you could have an affair with some other guy after only a few months of marriage shows that you really have no commitment to your marriage. If you were honest with yourself you would admit that you would leave your husband for this OM if he wanted you. You have no children and have so far invested very little time into this marriage. There is no reason for you to be in a marriage that does not make you happy. The answer is to move on and find that guy who will give you adventure and passion. Good luck.

For heavens sake, change trainers. Maybe to a woman.

Seems like a no-brainer to me.

Sorry for being gruff but, if you're going to continue seeing trainer on regular basis, your mistake will be more likely to be repeated. I'm sure there are other trainers in your area.

Cinderella is right...that is the first step.

The second step is to figure out why you did this is the first place. Read the Emotional Needs section on this site and see what is missing in your life and what you can do to fix it.

You've only been married 8 months...that isn't time to have unpacked good. You can put passion in your marriage but it takes work. You can't lay wood and a box of matches on the floor and get a fire going. You have to strike the match, then nurture the flame. The same with marriage.

You,re problem is actually a common one. You were attracted, flirted, communicated sexual interest to eachother and acted on it. As usual, straying ended in more unhappiness.
If a person is single, there isn,t anything wrong with flirting. If someone is married, the problem began at the initial attraction. There are millions of good looking guys out there but if you love your marriage commitment they are"OFF LIMITS". After noticing someone, its what goes on in your mind that keeps you away from the thoughts that will lead to infidelity. Marriage is hard work alot of the time and those love feelings are not always what keeps it together, otherwise there wouldn't be very many marriages that last a lifetime(there aren't that many nowadays because of this)
Part of the reason you are still so attracted to this guy is that God made sex not just for fun but to bond the two of them together.
If you are going to stay married you will need to forgive yourself, rebond with your husband by being intimate with him(even if you don't feel like) it and to get over the other guy ask yourself some questions;
#1 What is he paid for, training or having sex?
#2 If he were your husband would he respect that marriage more than your current one?
#3Has this happened with his job before?
You may not feel happy in your marriage for awhile as its obvious that you have a conscience, but if you give it time you can heal. In the future, however, try not to have close contact with a man you are attracted to. Sometimes its so tempting.Good luck.