I need you guys, this is all new for me and I just don't understand it. I was 16 when I had my
first child. Rapped by a friend of the family not
knowing I was pregnant untill 6 months had passed.
an abortion was out of the question and against the law. My family was very supportive, like always. Obviously, a boyfriend was the last thing
on my mind with school, work, and being a single
parent. I met my "H" when I was 19. He was so sweet to me and my daughter. Then when he moved in
things changed. He was jealous of the relationship
I shared with my daughter. Maybe me and her left him out on alot and she was spoiled, but that's what we were used to. Finally he started coming around and we were so in love. Maybe too in love to see that we were completely ignoring my daughter. After 2 years now, I have moved past the lust and puppy love and seen the true Man. He is very over bearing and to be honest I don't like the way he disaplines my child. It makes me angry and we argue untill I tell him to get out. Then we he does leave I can't think of nothing else but wanting him back. What do I do?

First, I'd like to say how sorry I am about your past situation. That is absolutely horrible. To address your present situation..Is this your actual husband or boyfriend? Let me just say this. I had my first child at 21. I was single, and my child's father was not in the picture. I got involved with this guy when my child was a baby, and I thought I was totally in love with him. I often neglected my own child, leaving her in the care of my parents, just to be with this guy.

You should NEVER allow feelings for a man interfere with the love and care of your child. He should never make you feel like you need to make that choice. Your baby was there before he was! He needs to accept that!! And if there are things you aren't comfortable with (i.e. discipline), SPEAK UP. Even if he is your husband, let him know how you feel. If he has a problem with it, something is wrong, and you shouldn't ignore it. These types of things have to be addressed before it's too late.

my D loves my H like a father. I see that she loves him as much as she loves me. But my H does not love my D the same as I love her. He don't miss her like I do when she is gone. Or comfort her when she is sad like my father did with me. He was raised in a family where hugs were not alowed with the parents. His family is not close at all. But my family is all about the love.
Sometimes he picks at her and makes her cry and then he laughs about it. That just don't make since to me. I can't stand to see any child upset, especially not one of my own.
I have always allowed him to give her punishment. But he goes a little to far. Not with a physical aspect, but he gets angry at stuff you shouldn't get so angry about. He scares her so much about eating everything on her plate. That she starts crying when I start cooking supper. Children should not be that scared of dinner time.

Put your foot down. I know this is your husband, but we're talking about your daughter, too..a CHILD. Don't sit back and let him do things that get under your skin and not say anything. That will only make him feel like he's got more control. You don't need to start acting different towards your daughter, like showing less affection. If he can't deal with the fact you show her attention, it's his problem. You and your baby were a package deal when you hooked up with him, and HE was the outsider. You do everything in your power to make him feel loved, but not to the detriment of your baby. You don't want your daughter to be afraid of her "father", you know? Especially if he's not her biological one. Just because a man buys his child clothes, feeds her, and puts a roof over her head..that doesn't make him a father. She may be the only man he knows as "Daddy", but he's got to know just how important his role is. A father/daughter relationship is SOOOO important. I know this, because mine was awful. I grew up afraid of my father, who was my REAL father. He was mean, and I grew up to hate him. If you don't want this to happen, nip it in the bud NOW.