Hi, just taking a poll here, could use the input.

Those of you in "blended families" and those that arn't; Should Dad pay for the expenses of all children equally or just his? And to what degree?

Is it "love me, love my kids" or is it "they are your problem, you pay for them?"

Assume that Ex H has never given any support to the kids. New H says that he should not have to support kids other than his. And he means basic needs as well as violin lessons. Should mom pay for 100% of food, room/board, medical ins, etc for "her" kids and 1/2 for their kids?

What is normal? What would you do, dads under this circumstance? What would you expect, Moms, under these circumstances?

Thanks!!

I would love to answer but you lost me somewhere?

I think you have an Ex-H who doesn't support your children. And your new H doesn't want to support your kids but only his in the blended family?

I can answer that I have a daughter from a previous marriage and my H has a son from a previous relationship. We have both kids living in our house and no money from either X. So, WE support (that means all of our money goes into one bank account) and both children are treated equally.

Don't know if that helps but that's my situation.

I feel that when entering a marriage where either partner has children from a previous relationship, you are not just marrying that person but also those children. They must be treated exactly as if they are your own and if more children result from this marriage, you will treat them all the same. I don't see how you can view your spouse and their children seperately. I'm not just talking financially either but in all aspects of a parent/child relationship. I would imagine the situation you're describing happens most often from a male standpoint. It seems lots of men feel they aren't going to support "another man's children" and shouldn't be expected to (BTW, I'm a man) but in my view when he marries their mother they are his children as well. It's just not fair in a mixed family for the pre-existing kids to feel somehow inferior to those from the current marriage. Sorry for going on but this is one of my pet peeves <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks for the replies, guys... it helps me to think these things through...