I wrote a letter to Dr Harley mths ago and he said if a man was willing to give up everthing after 19 yrs of marriage he must be having an affair, i asked my husband and he said he was not. I must believe him. In April my husband told me he went to see an attorney to see what his financial responsability was to me and my son, in other words he was not happy and wanted to be on his own, he no longer loved me only as the mother of our son, he is not blaming me, and only himself, he says there is no passion left in our marriage, which i partley blame him, he has always been somewhat verbally abusive when he is disappointed in me, then i tend to withdraw and no express how it makes me feel, therefore i had a hard time being effectionate. Its hard to giv e into someone sexually when you have been treated that way.. My problem is he is still here and when i ask when he is moving out he can't tell me when, i think he is getting ready to, but im not sure when. I need to know how to deposit love units while he is here. We are getting along the best we have in years, as far as the way he is treating me!!! He says it is a mid-life crisis and that he is very confused and not sure of himself. I have told him i don't want sex anymore because it makes me feel cheap and used, i said i can have sex with someone i love, but not with someone who doesn't love me. It seemed to bother him alittle. He says he doesn't want a divorce, he just needs some time alone to think. I love him very much and i tell him so. I only hope that it all works out in the end and we become stronger in our marriage. Please advise, i don't want to drive him away, i need some advice on how to treat him. I am seeing a therapist, but he refuses to go, he does not belive in them, but it is helping me thru all this, i am not crying as much as i was, and i am getting stronger. This site has also helped me knowing others are going thru the same things as me. I wish people could post more success stories, that is also helpful.
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