Hey All,<P>Haven't been here for the last two weeks. I have been keeping myself very busy with work and helping my brothers get a business started. I also have been working on myself quite a bit, and am very satisfied with the results. I am feeling better about myself, and am starting to see some light at the end of the very long tunnel that I have been traveling.<P>I filed a counterclaim against my STBX for Adultry, and this made her fly off the handle. With the PO in place, she is restricted from contacting me, but decided that she would keep her 8 yo son from me on my weekend to see the kids. This hurt bad, but I am afraid that it is hurting him more. Fortunately, I am an adult and have some outlets to deal with my anger and sadness, but he is only 8. Who is he going to confide in? His mother? The OM? I don't think so. Anyway, I think this is her last trump to try and hurt me. She has noticed that the pain that she has caused is starting to subside, and I am getting on with my life. I truly believe that this bothers her. I keeping hearing bits and pieces about her 'fantasy' relationship, and it looks like there is trouble in paradise. She is looking like s**t these days. The only way to explain it, is that she looks dead. It still bothers me somewhat, but she has chosen this path.<P>We are going back to mediaition this coming Wednesday to try and get the rest of the details on this Divorce worked out including custody and visitaion of our 2 yo. Your prayers would greatly appreciated. I am ready for this to be over. I am ready to continue on with my life.<P>Griz

Hang in there and keep working on yourself, I am sure this isn't fun and games for her. Be nice in the mediation and do not argue over the small things such as furniture or the dog. This will get her good if you do not fight her, but protect yourself on the finaces the best you can. I did well finacially, because she was consumed with the little things and I kept giving them to her. when the time came for he to pick up everything she asked for , she only took about half of it. Money wise she lost out, because she though I would fight for everything and I didn't. she did not focus on the money.

((((((((((Griz)))))))))))))<P>I can't remember , but did you ever legally adopt the son? I remember he was not yours but you were with him from a very young age?<P>I'm sorry to hear the pain your going thru. I sure hope in 2 weeks, I feel a lot better myself, but I will keep you in my prayers.<P>Hugs,Dana<BR>

Griz,<P>My divorce was final 2 weeks ago. It was a year of misery come to a close. While we had no children, my wife did her best to try and blame the whole marriage on me. But I held strong against her anger. I tried my best to never act out against her or to try to hurt her in anyway. Months went by and she kept waiting for me to become vindictive - Guess what? Never happened.<P>Then I received a gift. A few weeks back after all she did and I was still holding strong, she finally broke down and asked me: "why are you being so nice?". That one sentence made up for the entire year of *hit I went through, because in that instant I knew that everything I did and said had finally gotten through. I told her "I am acting like this because I love you. This is your decision 150% and I won't let anger stand in the way of love".<P>So why say this to you? Because I know from your past posts that you are also trying to be a standup guy throughout this whole mess. Don't lose hope now - for me it was the hardest right before our divorce, but I held firm.<P>The depression that everyone predicted I would hit after we got divorced has been non-existent. I truly believe it is a gift from God for doing my best to live according to His word, when I was being attacked for an entire year.<P>So be proud of what you have done, and don't give in to the anger now. Stand tall. You will be ever so glad you did once this is all over.<P>God bless,<P>Mike<P>------------------<BR>God always waits for the right time to do the right thing in the right way.