One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzipps her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifts up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step. <BR>So, seeing how embarrased the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turns around furiously and says, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!” Shocked, the man says, “Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends.”

SMART MONKEY<P>A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and, while he's nursing it, the monkey runs wild. It jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in its mouth, and swallows it whole.<BR>The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did? It just swallowed the cue ball from the pool table."<P>"Yeah, well I hope it kills the little sh*t. He has been driving me nuts."<P>The guy finishes his drink and leaves. Two weeks later, he comes back with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild again. The monkey finds a grape on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it.<P>The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did just now? He stuck a grape up his rear-end, then pulled it out and ate it."<P>"Well, what did you expect?" the patron replied. "Ever since he ate that damn cue ball, he measures everything first!" <P>

eeeuuuuuuuuwwwwwww!

BRA SHOPPING<P>A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife" <BR>What type of bra?" asked the clerk. <P>"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?" <P>"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk. <P>Confused, the man asked what the types were. <P>The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?" <P>Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?" <P>The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.” <BR>

we really shouldn't encourage you two!<P>hahahahahahahhaha <P>Lisa

This is what happen's when you get two Kansas boys together.<P>SWEET REVENGE<P>Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity to each other in 11th grade. When they graduated, they wanted both to go to the same college, but the girl was accepted to a college on the East Coast, and the guy went to a college on the West Coast.<BR>They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend any time they could together. As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. <P>Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him that she wanted to date other people. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and e-mail trying to win back her love. <P>She soon became very annoyed with his persistence and now with a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So she took a polaroid picture of her having sex with her new boyfriend and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone." <P>Well needless to say, this guy was heartbroken, but even more so, he was angry. So he wrote on the back of the photo the following; "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money! I'm getting pretty desperate!" and mailed the picture to her parents.<BR>

Yup, two guys from Kansas can never be trusted!!!!<P><BR>GETTING DOWN UNDER<P>An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man who has never been with a woman sexually. <P>After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. <P>She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. And after a long-distance courtship, they decide to get married. <P>On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner. <P>“What happened?” she asks. <P>“I've never been with a woman,” he says. “But if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo I'm gonna need all the room I can get!”

OMG!!!!!!! You guys are on a roll......keep it up (oops)!

There's <B>ANOTHER</B> KU guy on here? Wow, this is a classier forum than I figured...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain <BR>and makes the sun come out again

<I><B>ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!!!!!</I></B>

Boys, boys, boys.... Shocking <P> <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Keep the laughs coming every bit helps!!!!

Thanks for the funnies!! You boys are hilarious!<P>I e-mailed the one about bra shopping to a friend of mine who's a Baptist preacher's wife!!<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<P>PS Here's my addition:<P><B>3rd Grade</B><P>It was the first day of Grade Three in a new town for Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn’t get past 20. Johnny, however, did extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes. He was so excited that he ran home and told his Dad how well he had done. His dad nodded and told him, “That’s because you are from Alabama, son.” <P>The next day, in language class, the teacher asked the students to recite the alphabet. It’s Grade Three, so most could make it half way through without much trouble. Some made it to S or T, but Johnny rattled off the alphabet perfectly right to the end. That evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about his prowess in his new school. His Dad, knowingly, explained to him, “That’s because you are from Alabama, son.” <P>The next day, after Physical Education, the boys were taking showers. Johnny noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade, he seemed overly “well endowed.” This confused him. That night he told his dad, “Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I’m from Alabama?” he asked. ”No, son,” explained his Dad, “That’s because you’re 18.”<P>