Hi,<BR> Well it's been 1 year ago today that EXH left. Since then there has been no one. I have been working really hard on building myself back up emotionally. I think I am there although this has been a tough week and there has been some tears. My oldest daughter left for collage yesterday. It just brought back some deep emotions. Yet today I am fine.<P>I have noticed myself looking at men again. I have felt more lonely lately and kind of out of sorts. I'm happy being alone or with the kids but sometimes some male companionship would be nice. <P>How do I go about meeting men? I live in a very small community and most of the men my age are married. <P>any ideas?<P>Jill

I recommend the book "Boundaries in Dating" by Henry Claude and Robert Townsend. Maybe volunteer work will introduce you to others. Plus helping others is very rewarding.

I posted a message the topic is "Married, divorced, remarried now divorcing same man" any encouraging words or words of wisdom you can share?...

JellyBean. (I love your handle,,,;-))<P>Along with reading about boundries I would like to add this.<P>I made an objective for myself. I will meet three(3) new people a week. <P>I will know what they do for a living, I will know their name, and I will be able to recognise them if I see them again.<P>This allows me a couple of things.<BR>It allowes me to GO SLOW. (Key)<BR>It re-teaches me how to talk to people of both sexes.<BR>It re-teaches me how to read peoples body lang.<BR>It feels great when you can get somebody to smile at what I say. PLus I can smile back at what they say.<BR>I can flirt again and not hurt somebodies feelings.<BR>I find its just plane fun.<P>I have dated a few woman recently and had a great time without worring about anything..<P>My .02$<BR>Have fun.<P>Tex. <BR> <P>

Perhaps you should wait awhile until you get used to your daughter being off at college so you don't confound the emotional issues - not that you ever get really used to your child leaving home. I've never understood why people would not enthusiastically welcome their adult children if they came back home to live, or for that matter why people with kids look forward to September. <P>My H's affair started pretty much simultaneously with our oldest going to college. When our second one went to college the next year, six months after he left, it was harder than when the first one left. Then last year my oldest spent the year abroad. I felt really terrible when she admitted that her roommates' parents came to visit them. I couldn't afford to, and she couldn't afford to even come home at Christmas. <P>Not that this post has anything to do with how to meet men - all but a couple of the men I've worked with in the last 20 years have been married, except for the ones who were still young enough to be in college. For that matter, I don't know more than a couple divorced women either.

Thankyou for your responses. <P>I do volunteer at the humane society plus I work 1 full time and 1 almost full time job so I am pretty strapped for time. <P>I started to work at the video store thinking that way I could meet new people. Well, I have met alot of nice people but no single my age guys. <P>I'm not into the bar scene. Too many people have gotten into too much trouble hanging in bars.<P>I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself again. It's just been a really tuff month. <P>What I need is a adventure. I feel like life is pretty stagnent right now. Oh, if only I could afford one.<P>Well enough of this pity party, if y'all think of something else let me know.<P>Jill