Nina,<BR>First of all thank you so much for all of your advice and time. I am truly sorry for the pain you must be feeling now. I am certain that I cannot even begin to comprehend it. You will continually be in my prayers. If I could, I just wanted to share with you that God loves you deeply and eteranlly, he wont leave you. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."<P>I cannot tell you how much this has helped me. I am not trying to underemphasize your pain. I have been off of my anti-depressants for the last three months. I have been tempted to start them back up, but I have been fighting through this darkness, because it will strengthen me and I know there is light on the other side - unfortunately it seems to be about 100,000 miles to THAT other side. I am here and I am listening. Chin up and let it all out.<P>Rob<BR>

Oh Rob,<P>You are a good man to do a special post for me. I have to admit, that for me God seems a long way off tonight. I had asked my guardian angels for support the last time, and they were there, but not this time. <P>I am so worried about my future, my life was all mapped out before any of this, ands now there IS no future. Just last month we were talking about what we were going to do when we were back in Oz.<P>The financial side of things is really worrying me. I don't have a clue what's going on there, cos I basically left it to the brains of the family, and so I don't even know where the money is. He said tonight I wouldn't have to worry about that...yeah I've heard that before.<P>I am so scared...I want a future with this man, even after what he is putting me through. My logical mind says to let it go completely, but I just don't have the strength. What will give me that strength?<P>Thanks again!!! I do so appreciazte it.<P>Love, Jacky

Nina,<BR>I completely understand. At times, I too feel as if God is a gazillion miles away. However, it is us who move away or fail to see and feel His prescence. I am so sorry for your pain. I am having a difficult time. I want off the rollercoaster badly. I just have to keep shouting to the Lord, help me and have mercy upon me. I hurt, but somehow a peace just comes over me, but I have yet to experience what you have. That is why I refuse to take anti-depressants; I want my mind sharp and clear. It is so painful, but I AM going to make it and so are you! "And this too shall pass". I am praying for you Nina and I am praying for your husband and your family. Pray specifically for what you want God to do with your marriage and your Husband. Remember, prayer doenst change God, prayer changes us! I feel as if I am barely hanging on, but by Gods grace I am! Thinking of you and your family today.<P>R

Thank you RobC,<P>I will also pray for you... God gives us what we can handle, and our soul's journey is to teach us lessons.<P>But I so want the man I know to come back to me!!! I know it's not spiritual to be like that, but I can't help it. Even today after he told me he took another woman out....I just can't see past him. It makes me ill to think I still want him. But he is my love, and the father of my babies. That is what hurts the most, the babies. I just can't wipe that out.<P>Thank you so much for caring.