gentle, thank you for that info.. I will look into it.. <p>Winchet, I wish I had some answers for you.. I feel each and every one of us, knows our spouses well enough to use that knowledge to do as we see fit in our own situations.. <p>My ex was never the communicater type.. and still isn`t.. this is all going to take time for us, alot of time, and we are both in no hurry to jump too fast, and wind up right back to where we were..<p>I can only speak for my self, as to what I did, or should I say did not do, for things to come to this point..<p>I was never given a chance to talk things out with my ex, and I beleive now (and always did beleive), that if there is an OW around, that, that is who the BS leans on during there foggyest times.. and the thicker the situation, the deeper the fog.. <p>My ex only came to this point, because for the first time in his life, he has no "ONE" in his life right now... no significant other to turn to.. so he had plenty of free time, for the fog to lift, and see some light, for a change.. <p>we are both quite a bit older then you and your ex.. and so there for the sitaution is slightly different.. <p>I was never given a chance from my ex, since the day he left.. and so I then chose to mirror his attitude, right back to him, and cut off all ties and contacts, and when he even tried to be freindly I didn`t let him in.. that is what worked best for me.. so not to allow my self to stay emotionally attached..<p>I found/find that absence does make the mind and heart wonder/think.. and he did all he needed to do, to (think) he moved on, but in reality, he kept thinking back about us, from time to time.. <p>the hard part for us both right now, is that we both really need counceling, and we are going to take things very slowly this time around.. but we both, are now looking at this with a clear head, and heart.. and hopfully, in time, we can both see eye to eye again.. that is still "ALL" up in the air as far as we are concerned right now, so neither of us know where this is going to end up.. but I can tell you this.. it is going to end in a much nicer way, this time around.. because he is now treating me as he should have a long time ago, and that is as a freind with much more respect.. <p>I think he lost that respect for the OW, because she is still with her husband, and never once left him, for my ex.. so he must of asked him self, what was in it for him, if she didn`t even leave home..? ANSWER: nothing...! noda...! zippo..! and THAT! is what his final reality analogy (sp?0 is.. <p>sorry, Val.. wish I knew what to tell you.. but I really don`t.. <p>my prayers go out to you...
just give it time.. alot of time..<p>AV
