Hi I've been reading alot of posts lately and finally got the courage to post my story. Mine is quite different from everyone else's. I was married for 16 years I have 2 children B(15) G(8). My X wife's Mother died last year and so did her grandmother my X is the only child in the family. Well what ended up happening is that she ended up falling in love with another woman. At first I thought it had to do with the fact that she lost the 2 most important women in her life. I at first was shocked by all of this and thought that she just needed counciling and that everything would be OK. Well I was wrong she filled for divorce and she broke up our once happy family. I now have custody of my son but she has custody of our daughter and that is what I am very much worried about. I hate that my daughter is getting exposed to something like that.
Both my son and I had a very hard time dealing with this but we are much better now but I still worry about my daughter any suggestions.

Well Carl,<p>My understanding (of course this could be wrong) of gay people is that they are moral and would not corrupt a child just as a hetero couple would not corrupt a child.

Thanks for the reponse <p>What about what the child is being taught in a gay relationship. I do not want my child to think that is the norm. What about the child being ridiculed by other kids why should that child have to deal with that.

<small>[ January 26, 2005, 03:04 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Carl,<p>Welcome...I think you will find some help here...or at least some willing ears.<p>First, your story isn't unheard of here...we get all kinds of people with all kinds of relationships. I'm sorry for your loss but it happens. <p>I don't think that your children will think this is the 'norm' by virtue of the fact that they see a prevalence of hetero couples in the world. I do believe that they will struggle with acceptance of the relationship because it is very different and people will indicate that it is not 'okay'. I really think you might want to take them for counseling. <p>Spend as much time with your daughter as you can--and when the subject comes up let her know that while her mom is in a 'different' relationship than most people, she is still loved and cherished and that will never change. DO NOT say anything negative about Mom--it will only hurt and confuse daughter even more. I hope that your wife has sense enough to shield your daughter from the more 'graphic' aspects of her relationship---just as a straight couple should be discreet about their romantic activities.<p>Don't condemn Mom. I know it's strange beyond belief and I know I don't know how I would handle it but the most important thing is to make sure your kids feel secure and loved, no matter who the parents live with.

it happened to two different couples, next door neighbors of mine, with kids. . . . it is less common, but prevalent where i live (yikes!) also i went to a lesbian wedding once, and now the W of the lesbian couple is married to a man. . .. (double yikes!)<p>strange people make the world go round. . .<p>the divorce may not have been about you at all, the marriage may not have been for her, but to try to play normal in her crazy world to please her FOO. . . and you just happened to be the character than wandered into her cartoon. . .<p>i suspect that she has issues, and I would say
work on yourself and you as a father. . .<p>wiftty<p>[ May 29, 2002: Message edited by: WhenIfindthetime ]</p>

Thanks for all the replys
My X and my son have not talked for close to a year now. He refuses to to have anything to do with his mother now.
I don't worry too much about this because he is doing very well in school and keeps himself busy with high school sports. Here's my question should I attempt to bridge their relationship or should that be the X's responsibility.

totally the X's responsibility, but definately encourage when the subject comes up. . . <p>that is totally normal. . .. the ice will thaw in the future. . . with one couple who i know,to whom it happened, the daughter moved to europe from the US, and refuses to speak to her om . . .<p>there was a line that your S crossed for your son, and forcing it right now with his limited experiences would be too much,<p>but remember, this is just my opinion, on how i would look at the situation and act in your shoes. . and i don't know your situation at all. . .<p>wiftty