Ok, I knew that ExH was angry at me, but I dodn't think he'd do this.<p>He was practically gloating and OW was looking rather slutty(pardon my French) and I know they were both thinking we're showing you - they showed up with her kids and our kids - ExH has them today - at our oldest son's BB game. <p>Well I was classy. I said hello when I passed them sitting on the bleachers and even brought the baby over to ExH and asked if he wanted to hold her. <p>All the parents we're just mortified - this is my son's Catholic school team, and a few moms had come out to the parking lot to meet me to make sure I was ok, God Bless them. I was shocked that he has no shame to bring her, but, hey - they are the ones acting crazy and dirty, not me. And all the parents just circled around me and gave me their support. It was wonderful. ExH and OW sat in the corner of the bleachers by themselves trying to look cool. And of course my oldest son and OW's oldest girl were spitting through the chain link fence at each other and then she'd fight with my second son. OW's D is 8, and I talked to her and told her I liked her sunglasses - OW's D has told my ExH that I'm really pretty. Probably made OW livid. Anyway, someone came up after and said that I was classy but that my ExH is an a**hole.<p>You know, my mom just told me that more people are telling her that my ExH is an a**hole - even people who don't use that type of language. I had to laugh.<p>Anyway, ExH is no longer in my league and when I talked to him last night and he told me that he didn't care if he committed adultery for the rest of his life and that I should join the real world, I just thought, I don't want to be in your real world if that's your mentality.<p>It's sad to see someone that you gave your life to destroy themself in this way, but there is nothing that you can do, and hopefully there will be someone who will be an even better father and husband in the future.<p>God gave me tremendous peace tonight and strength to get through that. Thank you God. K

You go girl.<p>& to your X & the OW [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

Dear GodIsInControl:<p>Your H is an a**hole!...to say what he said to you re adultery is without excuse...just thought I would get my 2 cents in quickly.<p>Well, seriously, I am very proud of the way you behaved at your son's ball game. I have yet to see stbxw and OM out in public and we do not have children, but we do have her nephews whom I love for all the world and THEY have Little League baseball. We shall see how THAT develops.<p>However, you are the model of class and grace and should easily be able to hold your head up high knowing that you have taken the high road and done all that you could have to save your marriage.<p>I think of you & your devotion to God and your faith whenever I enter my local parish church, because I have a lot of trouble with my own faith and devotion. Your faith helps me keep my own, and for that I am grateful. <p>I hope that the candles lit for you help...I will ask you to light one for me as I feel I need it right now...maybe even an "Our Father" thrown in for good measure, please? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>God Bless You and I will pray for you tomorrow at Mass.<p>
My best to you and your children,
c++_guy

GodIsInControl,<p>You handled yourself wonderfully. God's peace is shining through you. That's so good that the other parents rallied behind you.<p>I bet stbxH's reaction about the A was due to his feeling left out at the game. The fog is still very thick. <p>Your posts are of interest to me because I know that someday I will face the same issues & this helps. I told BIL (h's Brother) yesterday & he said he was amazed I lasted this long. <p>Just curious, is your stbxh a Catholic? If so, was he brought up Catholic?<p>God Bless,<p>D.<p> [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

GIIC,<p>I applaud you!<p>ANNA

GIIC,<p>The strength you demonstrated is soooo wonderful. I have that kind of strength now, but wish I had it much sooner.<p>The grace of God be with you!

Thanks everyone! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>c++_guy - <p>Continue to hang in there with God. Remember, He's always there especially during these rough times, and I really think it's true about God using siffering to bring us closer to Him. He's testing our metal. Wants to see if we're faithful to Him in good times and in bad, and He'll come through for us - it's just that we're operating on God's time, not ours. <p>And not only a candle and Our Father coming your way, but a whole Chaplet of Divine Mercy, which Jesus told Sr. Fautina that when said He will grant it's petition if it is compatibe with His will. K<p>WGTT - <p>I thought my now ExH was more Catholic than he is. I've heard that the foundation of a person's moral development is created by age 6. Well, come to find out - only NOW that my ExH's familiy didn't practice any religion until he was maybe age 4 or 5 and then ExH wasn't baptized until age 6. I met ExH through my parish church - his step dad and mom - who converted to Catholism when ExH was age 6 and when she married ExH's step dad - were active in the parish church. <p>ExH went to church every Sunday(I would talk to him after Mass), and he went to my Catholic school(grade lower). I met him for the first time on his confirmation retreat - I was a counselor, and he was in my group. However, I have learned that he is really like his mom, just one of those Catholics that went to church on Sunday and who never really had a deep faith or personal relationship with God. <p>He did always that God for letting him help God's people by being a doctor, but ExH had such a low self image that he thinks God doesn't work in his daily life - like God just dropped him here and then said - good luck. I knew that ExH needed God and that's what was missing in his life as I watched ExH trying to fill his life with things and people. Now ExH thinks that this new person is going to be the answer to his problems. However, you have to have faith in God and not in people because people are human and are not perfect, and all I see is ExH turning into the most mean and nasty person - nothing like he was. <p>However, ExH can't let go of the "trappings" of Catholicism - he still goes to church(when it's convenient) and takes communion ((while committing mortal sin(breaking, continuing to break many commandments) - everyone is about to die on this one)) and he still says that he's a good person and will go to heaven. I think that the Catholic church has backed away from teaching about hell a little too much that it's no longer a deterrent for bad behavior. Oh well, it's more of Satan's lies, and I can't do anything about it until ExH turns to God and gets a clue, which I hope he does for the children's sake because they are way confused about daddy being a Catholic and him doing what he's doing. I'd rather he just say he's nothing, so otherwise they just see that ExH is being a hypocrite(do what I say, not as I do).<p>Didn't mean for the answer to be this long. But hope it answers some questions. All I know is that God's will is happening, and that His will is full of Love and Mercy for me and my family - I have to trust that, and I may not like it now, but I'd rather have God be in charge of the plan for my life than me be in charge, because I'd really mess it up. K

GIIC,
I'm sorry that he did this, but it sounds like you handled it well. Keep growing stronger.<p>I know your faith is strong, so I'm asking those on the board to say a prayer for my cousin Jodie.
She's a youth director in the Catholic church and due to a tumor has chronic pain problems. She's back in the hospital again. She's a dynamo working for the church when she's not in the hospital, but then she's at death's door at other times. Thanks for your prayers.

GIIC<p>You are my hero! I have been dreading the day when my exh does this to me and I hope that I can act with as much class and grace as you did. Unfortunately, I still have a lot of anger inside which is focused on this OW and I am afraid, with my love of sarcasm, that my first meeting won't be so polite.<p>A question: Have you thought about or applied for an annulment? I was able to get one within one week after I brought in the papers. My parish has been a great source of comfort for me too during this difficult time. My prayers are with you. Lisa

Dear God is In Control,<p>Well, we continue to experience almost the same situations---I wrote about my experience at the baseball field about a week ago.<p>They acted the same way. It was amazing the support I got from the parents--and he was totally ignored. His reputation is getting worse in the eyes of the community. I don't know how they do it. You could feel the tension. Oh well. <p>Next time, I think I will ask her if she would like to be introduced to the people of this small town--this could be fun... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I wouldn't be in their shoes for anything. You have class girl!!!! Pat