OK, I'm not what anyone would call a "Religious Person"

I was brought up under certain beliefs but I don't follow any specific belief now. I do, however, do my share of wondering.

That said, I will try to keep this as general as possible.

On my 4 hour ride home from work tonight(thanks to a Jack knifed tractor trailer)

Say there is a greater power that is in control of my destiny. It is general belief that by following the direction of this greater power, I will prevail and be where I believe I am supposed to be.

So I put all my effort into what I believe is right and spend every bit of my energy to restore my marriage because that is what I believe is the right thing to do.

But What If....

This greater power is what put me in the situation because there are other plans for me. What if, by putting all my effort into restoring my marriage, I am delaying the true peace and happiness I am supposed to find.

Maybe there is an opposing power that is causing me to fight for this marriage in an effort to keep me from finding what the greater power has lined up for me.


WIWH

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

"What if's" are pointless, imho. A greater power...who I call God....isn't going to set you up in some great cosmic test....

There is a saying here in Hawaii: "If can, can. If no can, no can."

Take things at face value and do the best your can. Ask Him....he'll show you the right way....then trust Him.

A person can "what if" until the cows come home...it gets you nowhere, imho.

Ms.O

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> "What if's" are pointless, imho. A greater power...who I call God....isn't going to set you up in some great cosmic test.... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not saying it's a test but what if there is opposition which is causing it to be a test.

I don't want to "What if" but What if I'm doing the best I can in the wrong direction due to the opposition that causes uncertantee.

I'm not realy lookng for an answer or a debate but I really do want to hear input. I also wonder If anyone else has the same concern as I

WIWH

I stopped a discussion dead in the water one time with a single innocent question.

An acquaintance and his father were preparing to buy a business so that the current owner could go into full-time missionary work. At the last minute, the deal fell through. The acquaintance said that he felt God must have a different plan for the man. My question was, "What if it wasn't God's plan but, instead, the plan of Satan?"

Who knows.

All you can do is focus on Him and do the best with yourself.

Easier said than done.

I believe "what ifs" are extremely important. Building contingency plans is important. Life throws you a lot of curve balls. Being ready to make the best of whatever comes your way is the key to success. Always calculate how to turn lemons into lemonade. Focus on how to position yourself, NEVER on how to manipulate others. What goes around comes around. You want to be a success? Make others successful. You want to be rich? Make others rich. It all comes right back around.

I believe life is what you make it. You are in control. Otherwise, life is pointless.

I am an INTJ, atheist and a libertarian. My time post-divorce has allowed me to truly understand myself and where I want to go. I can choose a more compatible mate this time.

I often think about things while driving. I seriously doubt that I would understand myself as well as I do today if I were still married.

Before anyone chimes in about being an atheist and libertarian are somehow wrong, I'll put my morals up against yours any day. It was my WS XW who married the OM who is the Christian and who now teaches Sunday School.

Life is wonderful once you can start seeing at least some of the big picture. I was driving down the road today with my windows down. Absolutely gorgeous. Grinning all the way.

As an atheist, I don't believe there is a master plan, but by doing your absolute best to do the right thing, you will attain peace and happiness eventually. People will see. People will respond. Nobody notices the rock in the storm until all other things are destroyed. It just takes time. It just takes morals. It just takes having a backbone to do the right thing.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by father of 1, husband of 0:
<strong> You want to be a success? Make others successful. You want to be rich? Make others rich. It all comes right back around.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">father of 1:
Interestingly, that you, being a self-proclaimed atheist, posted a few statements above which are quite christian in nature! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

"...cast your bread upon the waters, and it will return to you......."
"....do not seek to be first, but make yourself last, and God will exalt you......."
there are others. I just thought that was ironic that someone who doesn't believe in God uses many of God's own precepts to live life by.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I believe life is what you make it. You are in control. Otherwise, life is pointless.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Father of 1, I would love to believe this, BUT just answer this ?: Were you "in control" the day your W started her A?
See? Things happen that we CANNOT be in control of. This is the time to trust God (I'm not trying to convert you, my friend), I'm simply pointing these things out for WishIWereHome.

I think it's awesome that you've spent this "alone" time finding out about yourself. I think we all need to do this........I know I am still doing it, and I'd recommend it for everyone.

Too bad our WS's will not do the same thing, and really learn "who they are" and why they've done what they've done.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>As an atheist, I don't believe there is a master plan, but by doing your absolute best to do the right thing, you will attain peace and happiness eventually. People will see. People will respond.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Basically another christian concept! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Thanks for your thoughts. (I hope I didn't offend you, it wasn't my intent)

P.S. to WishIWereHome: I think Cinderella had the best advice for you: "All you can do is focus on Him and do the best with yourself"

God Bless,

<small>[ May 16, 2004, 08:36 AM: Message edited by: lupolady ]</small>

I didn't get that out right, did I.

Another try...

I believe that I have control of my own life. Otherwise, life would be pointless. I know I can't control others. I can; however, influence them by the way I control myself.

I really hope you and others don't take offense and I seriously doubt you've ever heard this before, but here goes...

Concerning Christian origins...
http://home.earthlink.net/~pgwhacker/ChristianOrigins/
http://www.medmalexperts.com/POCM/getting_started_pocm.html

Another useful link...
http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/

IMHO, Christians take a lot of credit for the wisdom and beliefs that came before them. Our ancestors did have a clue or two about life. It is interwoven into the various religions of the world. These are the things I pick up and keep as they are proven correct time and time again. There is a lot of stuff in the scriptures that is now flatly wrong. (slavery just for starters) Do you ever wonder why Jesus' birthday is on December 25th? Do you ever wonder why Jesus' ascent is on Easter? These things are not in a Bible. These things came from previous religions. Christianity is just the new kid on the block. Christianity got its big break when Emperor Constantine made it the state approved religion of Rome. They did their best to stamp out other religions. Check out Mithras and Dionysus.

Life didn't throw me a curveball....it threw me a spitball.......

You sound like me!

But even the opposition force is turned toward the divine plan.

WIWH,
I've often questioned this too.
Did God provide me with the support network to lead me to divorce, or did Satan make it easy for me. I choose to believe the former, and thank God for providing for me and my family.
I am at peace with me decision, but still wonder sometimes. Especially about whether I did the best I could for my girls.

I don't believe it ultimately matters, becuase Satan never triumphs.

That's where he keeps going wrong. In his hubris, he thinks he can challenge and beat God.

Paradise Lost is all about that. And of course we know the happy ending. "Ave" as in Ave Maria undoes Eva. The Christ sacrifices himself and we are redeemed in spite of Lucifer's ongoing trouble making.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I don't believe it ultimately matters, becuase Satan never triumphs. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is understood but my concern is more in the opposing force(Satan if you wish) is prolonging the plan of the greater force by throwing us those spit balls.

father of 1, husband of 0

I understand where you are coming from. As I had mentioned, I don't claim to follow any specific religious or non religious beliefs. That doesn't mean that I don't have morals.

Yes these morals will probably fit into just about any religion, christian or not. But just because I have the same moral values as a christion does not mean that I follow the same faith.

I've never really questioned my morals, beliefs or faith but sometimes things happen that point you down a path that you would otherwise not have taken. These things do make me wonder, a little, what the big picture is supposed to be.

WIWH

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not saying it's a test but what if there is opposition which is causing it to be a test.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I can GUARANTEE you that it's a test.....from the opposition, not God. And the opposition seems to be winning by causing you to doubt your own best intentions!!

Belief is a powerful force and if you believe you are doing all you can and the best you can, then you should continue in that direction. To me, "what ifs" aren't necessarily "good planning"...they are usually little, fiery darts satan likes to throw at us when we are doing what we feel we should be. If you start believing the doubts, you are going to get yourself all in a quandry!

It's the oldest trick in the book!! (satan: "Did God really say you couldn't eat from that tree?") That put doubt in Eve's mind big time and caused her to take an action that, as we all know, has cause all the pain and suffering the world has endured.

I just think if you are going to do something, do it with all your heart and belief. Once you start doubting...what iffing...you're in big trouble.

<small>[ August 05, 2004, 07:19 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>