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#829502 08/08/04 12:24 AM
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Hi JT,

I understand how hard it is. We love our husbands so much but they just refuse to respect us and stop crapping on us. I feel you. I told somebody if I thought I could knock some sense into him I would. Anyhow he has forced my hand. I hate that I have to separate from husband. I am gonna do it when the kids aren't around because it can get real ugly. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

#829503 08/09/04 01:24 PM
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hi Genia,

I didn't have a chance to get on this weekend, but I have been strong this entire time. I continue to be because I know that I can not do anything else.

My H does not believe of course that I will leave but I already have one foot out of the door.

Enough I am in a good mood today and I hope that you are okay.

JT

#829504 08/09/04 01:50 PM
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JT, I don't know if I missed it, but has the OC been born yet? Just wondering. I hope your mood stays good today and even better tomorrow.
Sunny D

#829505 08/09/04 01:50 PM
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Well, I think you four(Luv & BBG, too) rock! This is such a hard thing to deal with all the way around, and you all have done exactly what you needed to do. Can you help it if they don't do what's needed...nope! You all can take steps to better your lives knowing that you did your very best - it's THEM that's not living up to their promises, not you! Hold your heads high! You are wonderful and amazing!

- Kimmy

#829506 08/09/04 01:57 PM
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Sunny,

I really don't know if OC has been born yet. They both knew that I knew her DR.'s info and what hospital so I think she went back to GA with her family. Baby was due last wednesday, H was at home with us all last week so I knew she could not have been in town.

He even confirmed that one night, but he has never opened up and gave me any info about her I found out everything on my own. So who knows I don't even know what she was having. H has not had the opportunity to go anywhere though. So she might have I don't know.

I feel so stupid not knowing and even more stupid that I thought it could work when he is still protecting her and not our family.

JT

#829507 08/09/04 02:02 PM
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Thanks Niosgirl,

I have been waiting for your input; I've been missing that wit of yours. I know deep down that this is right for my family it just still hurts so much, but I am strong again. I know what I have to do - Plus what else am I getting out of him = nothing!!

So thanks and please be here when I need you all!!

JT

#829508 08/09/04 02:12 PM
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JT,

Keep praying girl, God will see you thru. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Praying for you daily, I know it is rough.

Love ya! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

#829509 08/09/04 03:10 PM
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Nio,

Don't me to post jack or what ever you guys call it. LOL

I don't rock at all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I am still in ambivalence-ville in a way. I spoke to my atty. and she told me to hold on a bit. Thing is one of us has to move out and he refuses and the obstacle seems so large for me that I have not done anything yet. If he would leave, I think I would be fine with filing.

#829510 08/09/04 08:35 PM
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Hi Luv,

You rock too girl. Don't let that husband of yours get you down. Maybe you need to do what I have done with mine. Husband is still here with me but I am not careing any more. He can do his thing and I mine. Just put energy into you and your children. He asked me tonight why I don't call him. I told him because it hurts too much. When the time comes for you to stay and reconnect or leave God willing you will know. Pray to God to work on your husband because you have done your part. God can move mountains. Sometimes there are obstacles so maybe it is time for you to wait and just be patient. Don't feel bad that we are trying to leave the chaos and you are still stuck. There is a reason for everything. Maybe your situation will work out after all or maybe it is just not your time. I will pray for you.
{{{{{Luv}}}}}}}}

JT,

I am so glad that you are in a positive mood. I am fine. My husband is in a good mood and it is hard thinking of leaving when he is talking about us. I must keep in mind. He is still talking to OW and that is the reason I am leaving.

#829511 08/10/04 08:36 AM
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Luv - you do so! You just don't feel it right now...but it doesn't make it any less so...and I'm not gonna quit telling you because everyone needs to know when they rock! So there!!!

Hang tight girls! The Lord is walking with us! Place yourselves in His very capable hands!

- Kimmy

#829512 08/10/04 11:10 AM
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Thanks Kimmy,

I really need that reassurance from time to time. I am going through with my plans because I have to. My H has left me no other choice, but to do so. I must be the one to take charge of this situation since he is still fence sitting.

I also must go through with the D - H talked me out of it when I first found out which was probably good because I was doing it out of anger and fear. Now I must not back down because he does not really believe that I will leave him. He knows how important it is for me to have the children's father in the house, but he has been using that to his advantage. He thinks because we are seperated that he can do what ever he wabts to do - come and go as he pleases - and I am not suppose to wuestion him about anything.

He even made the comment that I am just mad because I can not control the situation. Well in a way he is right, but I can control my life and how I plan to live it - and I can control my happiness. so in essence I can control the situation. Thank you I just needed to vent this morning, but still on the path to happiness.

Staying strong for me and my kids,

JT

#829513 08/10/04 11:18 AM
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Does he know you filed JT--you may have already said but I must have missed it.

What do you think--will he sidn D papers--mine wouldn't and he did it--filed it all and everything.

I guess a huge part of me hasn't given up on you M--call me crazy--what you doing right now is for the best for now--I think your H may surprose us--maybe not but either way you are doing great.

#829514 08/10/04 11:29 AM
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You know Albany, I really don't think he believe's that I did. We had an argument and he told me to just file and I said okay. But I have threatened to almost every week since this whole mess came out in the open, so he may just think that I am joking. But I am not I have had enough. Neither one of us has made him choose, but I am making the choice of happiness for myself and my children. Life goes on and I will not waste another day waiting on him to decide wether or not he wants us. She did not even get pregnant until after I threw him out when I found out about the A. So he just ran straight to her.

I have suspected affairs throuhgout the marriage but could never prove it. So maybe this is for the best. Running the streets maybe what he wants to do. Having a family at home to come to for cushion can;t be a life that I am willing to be a part of. I only get affection from him when it is convienant (msp). So I am not willing to take the bait any longer - that is not a marriage, that is a prison.

JT

#829515 08/11/04 12:13 AM
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Hi JT,

Funny thing is what he is doing to you he will soon do to her. I am so glad you are freeing yourself up to have the chance for a good relationship.

#829516 08/11/04 12:18 AM
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Thanks, So can you!!

JT

#829517 08/11/04 12:33 AM
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Hi JT,

I know it but just do not feel it at the moment. Husband has showered me with affection lately. I think it is just that he knows I am serious about leaving. I told a couple people in his family. They probably gave him the heads up. I am still planning on how I am gonna get him out but it did feel good for the moment when he showered me with affection. I am sure it will not last. He is what he is. A very selfish narcist person. In that light I had to enjoy his rare moment of showing me affection.

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