I have been wanting H to leave but he won't. I have not really made any attempts to move but have thought about it. I want out but the whole thing just overwhelms me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I also really do not want to be the one who leaves the house. I think he should leave. However, if I want to file for D we have to be sep. and that just might mean that I leave.

Anyway, back in June when I was thinking of leaving, I found a really nice apt. for $1445/mon. plus utilies. It was a 2 bed/2 bath and a sunroom. It has gas heat and a nice laundry room in it. I let is slip by. I called them again and they only had a 3rd floor avail. and I don't want that with 2 kids. Guess what? They just called and a 1st floor will be avail at the end of Sept.

I have looked at townhomes in the paper and called a few. The cheaper ones are in areas that I really don't care for. I called another and I think it a nice area, it's about $100 cheaper than the apt. and bigger. Only problem is I would have to cut grass and shovel snow. If I am in an apt, I have no responsibility for that kind of stuff.

I just don't know what to do. I know if I let this apt. go it may be awhile before another opens up.

LUV,

I love Ya - you know what you have to do. and you can not let this one go. GOD sent it back to you for a reason girl. You keep asking for a sing, but then won't take the leap of faith. YOU MUST TRSUT IN THE WORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART - HE WILL NOT FRSAKE YOU!!

Luv, you know what you have to do - he will never take that step because he thinks that everything is fine. Please consider your self and kids first they are all that really matter. You will be amazed at the weight leifted when you make the move to regain control of your life.

I feel like I can breathe again girl, it is so amazing. I am not saying that I don't want my H and miss him and love him -- I DO I DO!

But he is not what is best for me right now and very well may never be again - So I trust eveyday that the Lord I serve will guide me and protect me from harm, and send H back to us if it GOD'S will ( not my will)!!

Take it LUV! Take it! You have To do this for you!

JT

Okay LUV--I think you gotta take it for now it is best because both you and JT have same thing with H's dealing with OW on there terms without regards to you and the core original family--I would have to do the same if my H was still seeing OW.

Hi Luv,

I have a common bond with you and understand the struggle you are going through. If you read my post you will see that my husband is playing the same game as your husband. He is being incredibly sweet to me right now because he knows I am thinking of separating from him. His tactic of pressuring me into buying a car I cannot afford and offering to help is just one of his tactics. He is gonna be upset when I tell him I cannot go in debt with him. I think you should take the apartment because your husband still has not settled in court and OW still has too many cards. Yes it could be a sign. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I am gonna talk to my husband again. If he were really serious about us as was pointed out by a lady who responded to the e-mail I sent everybody, then he should at least read MB books and material.

LUV, Do what is best for you! Find the life you want and go for it! Poeple don't change people, they have to change themselves. Some want to some don't. We are only in control of US! I'm praying for you and I would go w/ the no grass/ no snow!!!
What do the kids like?
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

I think Sunnyd has a good point no mow or sno shoveling--I mean this will be a big change and you don't need any other stressors and we know how the little things add up. Which do the kids like?

Luv... the same SIGN came to me!!! I passed up so many places out of fear of making that move.. or what ifs.... I stopped looking for a long time.

When I looked at my now cherished new home.. the owner said that he had listed it for rent to own or buy or rent or any which way during the holidays and not ONE person came to look at it.... He re-ran the ad in the spring and GUESS WHO opened the add accidentally (looking in the paper for something else and said oh why not just look..) ME- I looked at it the first day he re-ran the add after the winter and it was so darn adorable of a home-- there is no way in the world it was not rented...

Other than God wanted me to find it.. I feel it every day I'm there, God made a way by giving us this home.

OKAY, TO MAKE A LONG BORING STORY SHORT..

TAKE IT LUV!! You will be so happy getting set up and will feel so much freedom and peace within yourself that you did it... trust me!!!!!!

Thanks ladies. It is a really cute place. I am going to consider another place first.

I have no idea what the kids would like. I have not asked them but I guess I should. They may like the idea of having a say in it. However, knowing my kids they would pick the worst place <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and I would not want it.

I have to go out a buy another bed for one of the kids. We had an extra but H gave it to a neighbor who adopted two girls. So, now I am out. I thought about buying some new furniture, just so it would be my place and nice. The old living room furniture is ugly.

This is so tough, much more than when he left me. At least I was in my familiar surroundings, around my friends and neighbors. I hate moving the kids from the neighborhood they know. Oh well, it would happen eventually after we sell the house.

Just look at it like I did.. like a little girl playing house all over again.. making your own decisions on your furniture and decor.. painting the walls new cheery colors, etc.

I know it may sound silly Luv, but you WILL find yourself enjoying setting up your new shop, for you, for the kids. And the most valuable part is that it will be much work and will take your mind to so many other places like SHOPPING!

I know how hard it is to imagine your home without H, but there is a good chance he will freak just at the sight of your boxes and MAYBE just MAYBE he will realize what he is about to lose for good. hugs to you Luv

Hi Luv,

I know this is hard but you would not be looking if you did not feel that it is not working. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Moving is stressful and divorce is hard on the kids. But your husband seems to be forcing your hand. You are sure this is what you want to do. He is still visiting OC in OW's home? And his lawyer still is not moving things along?