Well I really don't know what to do. My H moved in with the women he had the A with. He still tells me he loves me and I really believe that he does. We have been married for 11 years and we both got married at a very early age. I was only 17 and he was 20. Before he left he hugged me and told me that he still loved me. He wants us to still be very good friends. It is so hard for us both to be very good friends because it prob. would turn in to something else. I sometimes thing I will give him his cake and let him eat it to. We have 2 children together and it is so difficult. I still love him so much. What do you do when you know deep down that he loves you but has feelkings for another women. My husband is the type of person that wants his freedom and wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. This women wil let hinm do that. I guess I wouldn't. I expected the normal things that comes with marriage. Do I wait around for him to realize that he is making a big mistake? Or do I go on with my life and file for divorce? The whole affair has been going on for about 6 months and he works with the women also. HELP ME!!!!!

Sorry to hear about your pain. My H moved in with girlfriend 7 months ago. He says he loves her and not me. We have two children. He had an A with her for a year before he moved in with her. Right now I'm planningon filing. He is mean and doesn't want to work on marriage at all. I love this site they have really helped me. Keep posting...

In relationships, we teach the other person what we will and will not put up with. Stick to your guns. You are also teaching your kids how a husband and father should or should not treat a wife and mom.<P>We love and we forgive, but we can forgive with the door closed. We don't have to open our hearts and minds to all sorts of abuse.<P>There are always going to be women out there who don't care if their man is married. You don't have to put up with his creepy two-timing ways tho. What will your kids learn? That it's okay to get married, leave your wife and go shack up with a honey while you're still married and sleep at both households whenever you choose...

BL - can you tell us more? How familiar are you with Plan A/B and other affair defenses?<P>Him moving in with her can be a blessing in disguise. Odds are very much in your favor that the affair will end and he'll be interested in coming home. How long this will take cannot be predicted.<P>WAT

<B>Odds are very much in your favor that the affair will end and he'll be interested in coming home. How long this will take cannot be predicted.<P>WAT</B><P>WAT, <BR>if truth be told, what really ARE the statistics about A's ending? I know the Harleys say something like 95%, but COME ON - that's really HIGH......using their techniques, maybe it's that high, but would "normal" stats be for this type of scenario (or trainwreck as I refer to my life right now).<BR>Sorry for the downer, but it's been a couple of hellish days for me.<BR>Lupo<P><BR>

I asked the same question. My H has lived with ow for 7 months. I wish that all those stat were correct. I don't see him coming home to me and kids. He is having to much fun with her.

I don't know the stats. This was a qualitative statement. The many authors of the many books out there seem to be in agreement that the vast majority of affairs lose their luster given time - and it makes sense. Whether it's 95% or 75% we'll never know, maybe - but still in favor of ending and WS coming home as long as the BS doesn't burn the bridges.<P>gabby2 - I'll bet these 7 months have been torture, but still on the short side from what I've read on this forum. Don't give up.<P>WAT