Hello Everyone,<P>First I am so sorry for being so weak the other night.I really felt as if I couldn't go on.Complete breakdown.<BR>I have had trouble logging on and asked Orchid to relay a message of SINCERE THANKS. I have been reading through the posts and see that sometimes there is doubt over some stories.PLEASE believe that I would never,ever make up such a story.I value all of you too much for such a thing.<P><BR>Please forgive me,I am sure a lot of people think of suicide, but I voiced it.Sometimes the future just seems so difficult,if not possible.<P>I thought that I was getting stronger but I guess that "kick" was just too hard. <P>You are all in my prayers and thank you again.<P>(((((((((((((((all at MB))))))))))))))))))<P>SAA

SAA,<P>Don't ever feel badly about coming to us and letting us know what you are feeling. We care - and most of us have a pretty good idea of how it feels to be lied to, cheated on and/or abandoned. It hurts and the hurt doesn't go away so easily.<P>You're right that many think of suicide. By voicing it, you asked us for help - some people don't have the courage to ask for help. We're happy that you are doing better and that we all could be here for you. Even those of us who did not post were thinking of you, believe that.<P>Please keep posting. We want to know how you are doing. We want to share with you the things that have helped us all remain sane. And when you are stronger and better, you can share those things with the others who will undoubtedly come here in the future. That's the wonder and beauty of this place... We pass our strength and caring on to the ones who come behind us... and they pass it to those that come behind them. If infidelity must exist in the world, then it is good to have such a place as the Marriage Builders forums.<BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Terri,<P>Thank you.I have always felt that I take more than I give from this site.I am not happy with this feeling but really don't have the experience to give advice,only hugs and prayers.I do read through everything and feel so much for all of my "friends".<P>You were all there when I passed through the most darkest and difficult times.<P>As I said once before"if friends were $$$$ I would be so rich"<P>Thank you<P>SAA

SAA......I can honestly say that most of the people who visit these boards have felt something similiar to the pain that you feel....and have been depressed to the point of feeling that there is no use in continuing on. Fortunately, these feelings pass, for the most part, and we are again filled with enough energy to sustain us through another day, week, month....lifetime. <P>Be strong and hang tough! <p>[This message has been edited by GeezLouise (edited July 17, 2001).]

I didn't see your post, and therefore did not reply. But, I would have, as I understand how you felt. I think probably quite a few of this group have hit that point at one time, so do not feel the need to apologize. In fact, it feels good and purposeful to those who responded to be able to reach out to you.<P>Just keep being honest, and don't hide your fear out of shame. If you ever get that way again, post away. But, have a "real time" backup system in place as well. Are you with a counsellor? Do you have the number of a suicide hotline nearby? Be ready, just in case it hits again. Also, are you on medications? Sometimes that can help during the most awful times. Ask your Dr. about that.<P>The hugs really help though, don't they!<P>Hugs<BR>Janet

S&A,<P>How nice to hear from you. How are you doing? I am glad you were able to get on line. I apologize for not calling the last couple of days. Will call you soon. <P>You do need to let everyone know that you have been encouraging to others. I for one have benefitted from your support and must tell everyone here that while you were going through your tough times, you were encouraging me to hang in there as well. We both had a bit of a crazy week last week. But the sun is still shining over here and there. Both of us have managed to put a smile on our faces. <P>So don't give up. You have a great gift of love and concern. You know Trueheart wrote a letter to the WS's. I enjoyed it very much and intend to share it with my H. If you get a chance, please look at it. <P>Take care and we'll talk later. <P>L.

sadandalone,<P>Hi, glad to hear that you are doing better. Never apologize for your pain. Your reaction, though painful to you, is not unusual. I just so happy that you were able to reach out to all of us here on MB. This is a very special place.<P>I understand what you mean about getting so much more then you give as I feel that same way. And you do have a lot to give here. Don’t down play your life’s experience you have a good heart. You know, sometimes people just need to kind word and a {{{{{hug}}}}}. They just need to know that there are people in this world who care. <P>So keep us posted on how you are doing. You know we are here.<P>Z<BR><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Hi SAA:<P>I must have been off in la-la land and missed your post when you were feeling so bad...but I guess it's like they say about teenagers commiting suicide (if they could only realize that things do get better...that this is not the way its alwasy going to be)...doesn't help much some times...I've had days when I thought to myself "Cheer Up, things could be worse....and I did...and they got worse." <P>But you know what...eventually things did get better...maybe they won't tomorrow or the next day or even the next week or month...but someday...and not too far away...thing will get better. That's why we should never give up....whew...I better quit...I'm beginning to sound like my mother...or your mother...or anyone's mother. But those are wise words coming from someone who's been there and "done that"...just wished I'd listened more.<P>And now we're here for you...to try to help in what way we can...so take a little "motherly advise" and don't give up on things...God has a new plan for each of us for every day of our lives...we just have to let him show us the way.<P>As for being a newbie...thank God for all of you...to be able to pass on some of the understanding and support that we've been given in the last year or two...to ease some of the pain...to give a little light in the darkness...to make some sense out of chaos...in a small way it helps to compensates for having gone through this ourselves.<P>Faye

I've been there too, suicidal,....more than once, during the past 3 months. This is one of the toughest things you will ever have to cope with - and it's sort of nice to get to that point where you realise that you survived. You WILL get to that point, but you must take care of yourself...I'm a trained aromatherapist and have always been quite wary of anti-depressant medications, but about 4 weeks after d-day I realised that I desperately needed to help myself. I'm on Prozac now, and it's been an absolute godsend - I'm so glad I 'gave in' and went to the doctors! If you are not already on medications, then please, please think very seriously about it - it won't fuddle your mind, or mask your emotions, but it WILL help you think more clearly, stay more focussed and give you that little extra push to go and do other things to help yourself feel better too.<P>I am so sorry I missed your post - I was having trouble logging on to MB too at that time, and when I found out that you had been having such a desperate time, my heart just went out to you so much...<P>I'm so relieved that you are feeling a little better now - but you need to know that it is quite likely that you will feel like this again. You have the advantage now, of knowing that after every 'down' there is an 'up' - sometimes it arrives quickly, sometimes it takes a bit longer, but there is ALWAYS an 'up'. If you ever need to talk, I would be only to happy to call you (I call England all the time, gossiping with my family and friends there).<BR>If you want, you can e-mail me at paintbox2001@hotmail.com and we'll swop numbers, OK? Sometimes it can be quite handy to have friends in the USA, because the time difference means that if you need to talk to someone at 3am, there's no problem!<P>sending loads of hugs,<BR>Paint.

SAA

SAA<P>Glad to see you back online.<P>I read your thread at the time and believe me felt your pain.<P>good to see you have bravd those dark hours.<P>Keep your chin up.<P>E

Hi SAA!!! Glad to hear from you again! I was worried when I hadn't heard anything this past week.<P>We are all so glad that you "braved the storm" and stayed with us through your awful ordeal.<P>Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. Hugs.<P>HbH