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Just wanted to share this
#985200 03/14/02 08:32 AM
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Dedex1 Offline OP
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Dedex1
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I just wanted to share something my husband told me this morning. He said that when I backed off and stopped trying to convince him to come home, he was able to again see me as a strong person -- a person he could respect. He also told me that he started seeing the positive things in me again, the things he loved about me. As long as I was "all over him", he couldn't see those good things -- all he saw was the bad and just wanted away even more. <p>In my case, I was fortunate that my husband didn't have really strong feelings for the OW, and didn't really want to be with her -- he just wanted to be away from me. So when I stopped pursuing him and trying to convince him to do the *right* thing, he came around pretty quickly and decided to do the right thing on his own.
Re: Just wanted to share this
#985201 03/14/02 08:45 AM
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WillGetThruThis Offline
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Dedex1,<p>Thanks for sharing that. It reminds me of something a counselor told me about - each relationship is like a dance - you take one step forward, they step back..........<p>I found found the same thing - my WH didn't so much want them, he just wanted to get away from me & his life. Just needed someone to appreciate him. When I backed off & started giving him admiration (based on real stuff) He has started comming around.<p>Keep us posted - Hugs to you<p>God Bless [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
Re: Just wanted to share this
#985202 03/14/02 09:36 AM
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Dedex1 Offline OP
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by WillGetThruThis:
<strong>
I found found the same thing - my WH didn't so much want them, he just wanted to get away from me & his life.
God Bless [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>My husband has told me he had affairs because he was "missing something" in his life and so would look to other women hoping to find it. When I backed off, he was able to evaluate his situation with a clearer mind and finally realized that he wasn't finding it and that his family really was important to him. <p>I'm still somewhat amazed how my positive changes to myself have effected him.

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