My WS is planning to go to a gun bash with some of his friends in a few weeks. Apparently, a gun bash is an event where guns are raffled off all day long and food and beer is served. Does anyone know what else goes on at these events? Is it anything I should be concerned about (we had a problem before with strippers and general pornography and he agreed to stay away from it)? I hope this isn't a dumb question. It's just that trust is an ongoing struggle for me.

Could you join him at this event? I don't know anything about it but is there something that excludes you from participating? Perhaps he would enjoy educating you on the different firearms - provide him a chance to feel good by feeling important and intelligent by helping you to understand something he enjoys.

I had asked about going, but he told me that it's mostly men in a smoky room and that I would not enjoy it. Do I just consider showing up and surprise him?

No, do not surprise him. Do not go without him knowing of such. It would be a huge love buster. I can see how he thinks you would not enjoy it but it is really not his choice. It is your choice if you will enjoy it or not. The two of you need to discuss this issue. If he refuses to let you go, then perhaps there is reason to be concerned. My wife used to tell me I would not enjoy being with her during certain situations (one example is a party with coworkers). For her, it was actually that she was uncomfortable with me being there with the OM there. That was at the very beginning of the A.

Just some thoughts (but I don't know anything about these). From the title of this "bash" it sounds like his description of it is pretty accurate. An ex-boyfriend of mine was into hunting, and from that I don't think that gals/strippers fit into the whole thing. I would sort of parrallel it to a gun show (a bunch of guys walking around getting all excitef over guns). <p>Anyhow, I understand your concerns, and I hope he does too. I have to agree with Bunky - DO NOT surprise him. That will be a MAJOR LB and cause you and him a lot of grief. My suggestion, if you have 2 cars, would be to mention that you would like to start doing things with him that he enjoys. That you would like to some different things out so that when the two of you make plans to do things that you will have a wider range to chose from. Suggest that you go in separate cars so that if you tired of the atmosphere you can leave. Now, if he says there aren't going to be any wives, girlfriens, etc., then maybe you might want to just try a little faith (as difficult as it will be), because then he is most likely suggesting that you don't go so you don't feel out of place, and he doesn't have to explain to the "guys" why he has a "baby sitter" (using this to get a point across about how the "guys" may react if he's the only one with his SO along).<p>Good luck to you, and I hope this helps.

Thanks for your advice. I did talk with him last night and told him that I would like to start taking part in activities that he enjoys. He actually received my request to attend very well. We had a really good evening. Thanks for helping me through this.

Wonderful!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I am so glad to hear this. Glad to help as well. Keep us posted on your progress. You are doing great. Sometimes it just helps to have an outside thought put your feelings into the right words. Take care, and good luck. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Well done! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]