Need some input please. - 01/28/04 06:31 AM
Hi all, I was wondering if I could get some input from you all. I have been feeling very withdrawn from W in the last couple months because she has been for about a year. Long story short, I am one of the people on this board that was told "I love you very much but am not in love with you". It has been a very distressful long road and it has made me withdraw as well. Not to mention when she said she needed her space and told me to not bother her for sex "let it be my idea"(speaking her words) and when I gave that wish she hasn't made any attemp to be intimate. Off the subject for a second, this is the longest sex dry spell I have ever had since I was a teenager. Back on the subject, I wrote her an email today saying I wanted to talk to her about where we are headed together, since she is supposedly trying to make this work, I see no effort or progress. She replied "that makes me sick to my stomach to hear, but I geuss we should face it and talk about it". Well, she used to say things like "I don't feel like it right now" or just straight up "not today". I am kind of confused as to why she would say it makes her sick to her stomach to hear that. Those were the feelings I got when she dropped the bomb a year ago but that is because of my deep love I had for her.
At this point in time, I know the 'grass is greener" on the other side, I still do not want to go there until I have no more hope of getting back what we had. I am almost ready to jump ship though. I can't live my life emotionless and without intimacy or even kindness and freindship. She says she is my best friend, but then why can't we have a conversation like friends do. At night she doesn't say 20 words to me and works hard at pretending there is nothing wrong. So again, why would she say it makes her sick to her stomach to hear that. If she really is that withdrawn and gone from our relationship, then you would think that she would want to have that conversation so she could get out. You would think she would be pretty emotionless. At our last couple mC appts, she was wanting seperation and I said that would probably send me off the deep end (withdrawal) and I didn't want to go there. Maybe she is going to drop the hammer tonight, who knows. I guess I will know alittle more after we have this talk tonight, I am not looking forward to it but I cannot live in limbo anymore. I need to see some effort on her part because it has been all me for the last year.
She has also stopped reading her Marriage books and now refuses to go to MC anymore.
Without intimacy and friendship, there is nothing left to strive for, except maybe someone else who cares.
Anyway, just wondering what y'all think. Thanks in advance.
At this point in time, I know the 'grass is greener" on the other side, I still do not want to go there until I have no more hope of getting back what we had. I am almost ready to jump ship though. I can't live my life emotionless and without intimacy or even kindness and freindship. She says she is my best friend, but then why can't we have a conversation like friends do. At night she doesn't say 20 words to me and works hard at pretending there is nothing wrong. So again, why would she say it makes her sick to her stomach to hear that. If she really is that withdrawn and gone from our relationship, then you would think that she would want to have that conversation so she could get out. You would think she would be pretty emotionless. At our last couple mC appts, she was wanting seperation and I said that would probably send me off the deep end (withdrawal) and I didn't want to go there. Maybe she is going to drop the hammer tonight, who knows. I guess I will know alittle more after we have this talk tonight, I am not looking forward to it but I cannot live in limbo anymore. I need to see some effort on her part because it has been all me for the last year.
She has also stopped reading her Marriage books and now refuses to go to MC anymore.
Without intimacy and friendship, there is nothing left to strive for, except maybe someone else who cares.
Anyway, just wondering what y'all think. Thanks in advance.