This is what lies ahead... - 12/20/99 03:16 PM
My divorce has been final for about 2 weeks. I still get along with and talk with my W. She is severely depressed. She has come to realize that the fantasy is over. The "friends" she has made with her new life are dropping like flies. <P>The guys that gave her so much attention when she was seperated, now, don't come around so much. It's safer for men like this to bed women who are seperated, when thier divorced this is a much bigger risk of real commitment. <P>Real life is setting in big time. She is finding she has no time for our kids, and that they do not respect her. They are young, but not stupid. My W's lack of character of late, has bled into all facets of her life. It has taken time, but with no foundation the house is crumbling. Bills that cannot be paid, stuff that cannot be bought. <P>The problem is she isn't capable of sharing her thoughts, fears. This is major reason why our marriage has failed. She has gotten like this at times before, I come, I lift her up, I begin to hope. After she regains some stability, she abandons me again. The lies begin, her attentions are directed elsewhere. I am again left in the cold. I can't do it to myself anymore. I find myself not wanting to. Not out of anger, but because I don't want to live always giving and not receiving. This what her friends and family have done to her and she says it hurts, but that's what she does/has done to me. <P>For those of you out there that have not lost your love for your spouse, hang in there. The fantasy does come crashing down. Infidelity is wrong for a reason. When a person leaves their values at the door, they have nothing to govern their lives with. No foundations to build theirselves with. That denial of self can only last so long. Best of luck.<P>Eric32