CONTEST: Worst/stupidest lies... - Marriage Builders® Forums

I was wondering what the absolutely worst lies were that your S may have told you. I have been told a few myself that are just dizzying in their stupidity. I'll start first. Maybe we can see who told the most (hilariously) bad lie! Too bad I don't have any real contest prizes... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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** ** ** ** **H: "I'm staying at the 'Y.'" ...this lie got old real fast, especially since he told it to me for a whole month straight. I eventually pried the truth out of his best friend, who admitted to me he'd been caught in some kind of criminal escapade and was actually incarcerated. I was upset at first but the next time he phoned, I had gotten over it and laughingly asked him how the 'Y' was treating him... Oh, did he ever feel like a cad for that lie!!!H: "I was late because I was out giving rides home to several people from the bachelor party last night..." I would have laughed if it hadn't have been for the seriousness of the situation. At the time, my XH owned a Fiero, which only seats TWO!!! This was probably the stupidest lie XH (or probably anybody else) ever told... XH winced & obviously felt like a moron every time that lie managed to surface in conversation...Oh, but there are so many more - to list them all would take too long... Please share the stupidest lies. I really need a laugh, & I hope you at least got a chuckle out of those that have been told to me - I know I did (eventually)!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

------------------ ~~ Elixir ~~

We were about a month post discovery, and although my H had stopped seeing her, they was still contact by phone (whole other story) and I of course did not know. Whenever I tried to talk about what had happened, he would clam up...just saying it was over.I remember saying something like, "I now know you can lie to me, how can I believe ANYTHING you say."His answer, "You CAN believe me, I only lie about the affair."As far as I can tell THAT was the truth. I have never caught him in a lie before and now after in 17 years. He packed up all his lies in a neat 3 month package.------------------ Faith, Hope, Love Remain, but the greatest of these is Love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

My favorite is ater I confronted herwith her hacked emails- " i planted those to see if you would hack into my mail". " its a joke" "how stupid do i think you are".

H spent New Year's Eve in a hotel with the bimbo. "We didn't sleep together - just played cribbage."Uh huh!!

How about( and sorry if too graphic), "I was so drunk I couldn't even get hard to do anything."Yeah RIGHT so how did you get an STD? Do I have STUPID F*#K Stamped on my forehead?

It just makes you wish that you had recorded what they were saying, so that you could replay it and make them hear (for themselves) just how stupid, bad, and obvious their lies are...~~~fantasy~~~ [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

THEM: "insert stupid, bad, obvious lie here"US: whipping out tape recorder, rewinding it, holding it up, pressing 'play' "Just listen to yourself! Just listen to yourself!!! SHAME ON YOU!!!"------------------ ~~ Elixir ~~[This message has been edited by Elixir (edited December 20, 1999).]

Me: (with knowledge of hacked ICQ file contents) Did you ever tell him you love him? W: No. Me: (confronting with ICQ evidence) Why did you lie? W: I didn't lie. I never told him I loved him. I typed it.

Here's a few stupid ones:I slept at her house, but I only slept on the couch....If there's anything you can believe, please believe that there is no one....just believe that....I didn't sleep at her house, I slept outside in our car, at the parking lot by my work...I even caught a cold because of it...

EW told me and her best friend that om was diagnosed as bipolar.When I confronted her about exposing the kids to someone like this , that has guns, she said she made it all up to see what people were saying.I never knew my Ew to lie either, now thats all she does.

RWD -- I can relate to what you said. I told W that I was impressed with the personal change that OM could inspire. I said that W was the most moral person I ever knew when I met her, now she seems to feel that it's alright to have sex with someone other than her spouse. I also said that she was someone who could never tell a lie and now she can lie to and deceive me at the drop of a hat. Pretty impressive....--DeWayne--

Man,I looks like I shouldn't even enter this contest. Val came up with very plausable reasons. "I was at my parents house". "My sisters house". "My friends house". "Helping with a kidney transplant at the hospital". I taped the phone lines and the night of discovery she lied to my face not once, but twice of her whereabouts. Unfortunately for her I had her voice and her "friends" on tape and knew exactly where they were. Does this count as the worst lie? Obviously if I woke her up at 02:30 in the am to see where she was and she still had the guts to give me a fabricated story. Hey, I win.I am never suprised anymore.------------------ "It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984Wishing us all the Best.Medic

Medic -- I had W the same way with the two calls over the T-day holiday. When I asked her if she had called him she said she hadn't, that it was all in my mind. I asked if I had the phone records in my hands would her story change and she said, "No, it's just in your imagination".

Hi HP,You know my imagination must have gone haywire. I don't have a reasonable explanation. I can only offer my sincere apologies that I must have had a mental break down.Maybe we should increase the dosage of our anti deps. I can't believe that I was so disillusioned to think that I actually heard her voice on the tape as well as his. I must have been so tired that I misinterpreted the conversation.Boy, do I feel like Mr. Winky. I know my W would NEVER do that to me. We have a history! Wev'e been married for 5 years!. Wev'e been together for 11. I am a complete idiot for thinking that she would cheat on me. Now I feel better. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

FAAAAA....Q... if you think I buy into this [censored]. [Val getting the indesgrestion]------------------ "It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984Wishing us all the Best.Medic

My worst lie to my H:"I never had sex with him" _________________________________My H's worst lie(s)Long before I ever met the OM.1. I love you and I'm not going to leave you.Lies he told after the affair:2. I forgive you. 3. There is no one else like you. 4. I love you. 5. We slept in the same hotel room, but we didn't have sex. 6. I tore up the divorce papers (he didn't). 7. I promise we'll spend Christmas together. 8. I want to grow old with you.

W: "WE HAVE NEVER DISCUSSED THIS" ME: "REALLY?" W: (Looking at me straight in the eye) "REALLY!"(This was 1 day after I told her that I had read her e-mails, in 1 message & its reply they were discussing it- OP pushing for an answer).THE BEST ONE:W says that OP didn't aproach her, but the other way around. OP actually sent an insinuating e-mail TO THE COMPANY'S e address!!! (how stupid can you be) days before the affair began (I read it when it was too late & the message was in the "deleted" folder- damn!!!) ------------------ Live and learn

My lovely hasn't come up with anything note worthy.So far I think D2 has the best one.Thanks D2 i had to laugh. No offence.DO I HAVE STUPID F#$K STAMPED ON MY FOREHEAD.Did he realy think it would work.It's amazing how our beloveds become these evil creatures to justify themselves------------------ BB

WHEN W WAS ASKED WHY SHE WAS PAGING OP 10x PER DAY?"It is just a -- keep your chin up message"WHEN ASKED WHAT "LU" MEANT IN AN INTERCEPTED PHONE CONVERSATION"That is a nickname -- it doesn't mean Love You"WHEN WIFE ASKED IF SHE THOUGHT WE HAD MARITAL PROBLEMS (AFTER TWO MONTHS OF HER BEING GONE EVERY FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY)"No" WHEN ASKED IF DIVORCE/SEPERATION WAS WHAT SHE WANTED (ACTUALLY ANY QUESTION)."I don't know" OK - DUH - I AM AN IDIOT - I AM GOING TO STAY MARRIED TO SOMEONE WHO RUNS AROUND EVERY DAY ON ME. NOT!People in the midst of affairs take the cake. My biggest relief in this whole situation is that there is no way all this lying and cheating to spouses and the op's spouse can produce a healthy relationship for the cheaters. No way. Good luck to them -- they found each other! Now it is just a matter of time before one of them starts cheating on the other....P

Oh...here's another stupid one...My H e-mailed the OW....I found the e-mail...brought it up on the screen to question him on it. He replied, "I didn't write that. Must have been someone else using my user name." I replied, "Who wrote the OW then....ME?? The kids? Kids can't even log on! They are only 3 & 4 years old"Then, he admits that he indeed wrote it. I swear...it's right there in his face and he was denying it....how stupid!

Yes Bill I think he did believe I would by this, but I didn't. I may be nieve about somethings, but come on............He keeps saying he was too drunk to do anything, can't even remember her name, hmmmmBut he can remember she wore a dress and the color of her hair. And some other details I won't mention. But remember, He couldn't get it up. R>>I>>G>>H>>T!!! I'll be accepting my award for StupidF&#K of the millemium soon. I'll save you seat, okay Bill.NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I finally discovered the "hard proof" of her tele. number on our pre-paid phone card (used while on our family vacation in Disney World) I called my H as work asked him whose number it was. He told me whose number it belonged to, but then said, "It's not what you think!"UNFORTUNATELY... this whole things is way more than I ever wanted to think about. To learn the sordid details of H's affair with his nympth child (He is 45 and she was 19) was more than I could handle at the time. It's not what you think... what could he have meant by that?

"I knew her beforehand, but I didn't start dating her until after I left" - although he stayed at her house from the night he left.

My W had a calendar with her OM's first initial written in on the dates they were together. She confirmed that's what the initial meant. Seeing an entry on my birthday i asked "so you were together on my birthday?" Her answer: "No, i would never do that."

OH those crazy, crazy betrayers... what were they thinking when telling all those lies?I say they all need to go back to kindergarten and learn what society finds acceptable!

"Yes, it happened, but we realized it was wrong and we stopped 'one year ago' (a really touching attack of conscience)""Its over""I want to grow old with you"One evening he told me "there have been no phone calls"The next morning he tells me "yes, there have been a few phone calls, but about work""I am working late""I am going to the club""No, my friends and I left the club and went to get pizza""I am very busy on my day off, you wouldn't believe all the chores I have to do".....meanwhile....I was mowing the lawn for him.....giving him more time to spend with the slut."I didn't say she was 'beautiful', the customers say that"The list goes on........and he wants me to trust him.....now.....

In W's explanation, she said that she originally went to her EB's house to talk to him about how great I was...just as a friend. Then apparently he forced her (not physically, but psychologically) to have intercourse with him. She cried the whole time.When I said, "that still constitutes rape", she immediately defended him because I was getting ready to go serve him justice. She changed the story to "It was my fault".Sometimes being a semi-pro-heavyweight boxer helps.------------------ All is not lost A new dawn is here And I am alive by his Grace

Here's my entry...After calling the restaurant and asking the hostess if someone by the name of ***** (OW's name) was there and hearing OW say,"Who could be calling me here?"(I knew H was at the same restaurant, therefore confirming they were together), H claimed that it was just a coincidence that someone with her same name was at the same restaurant, BUT IT WASN'T HER!!! Ha, Ha, HA!

Caught my W in this one over T-day holidays. Originally, when I saw her a few months ago in a convertible with another man and confronted her with this fact, she told me I was crazy and said, "I don't even know anyone who owns a convertible!" So guess what? Over dinner with the two of us and her sister, my W starts talking about her XH and happens to mention that he owns an expensive convertible. (I kept my gotcha! to myself, however.) I'm fairly certain that my W's XH is not the OM, but do figure that XH is who she was with the day I spotted them in the convertible, and she won't even tell me that she sees her XH from time to time! (I spotted his convertible parked a couple of times too.) Sheesh!--Wex

Puhleeeese. None of you have ever, ever lied to your spouses? Yea right. Ok, I can hear the chorus now..."But not about something as serious as an affair" So now we can discuss whose lies were worse than whom, the "betrayed" or the "betrayer". Show me one "betrayed" who has never ever lied about ANYTHING and I'll personally introduce them to the Pope.

TheStudent:The point isn't the lie, it's the absurdity of the lie and their expectations that we believe them. Don't get so bent out of shape about some betrayed spouses venting for a little cameraderie.Of course everyone has lied to their spouse about SOMETHING, but ya gotta admit, these are some pretty tough lies to take, considering the subject matter.Have a happy holiday. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

------------------ /// Lone Star * ///

The Student:Ditto for what Lone Star wrote! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

This isn't about taking little stabs at the betrayers, or about making us (the betrayed) feel somehow morally/ethically better than the betrayer. It's about just shaking your head about the incredibly stupid lies people tell sometimes, accepting it, and laughing about the ludicrousness of these lies instead of being angry about them...Perhaps you're just feeling guilty about the lies you told (any of them sound familiar???) and are pasting what you think about yourself on what others have written...Laugh at the mistakes of yourself and others instead of being bitter about it. When you hold negativity inside you you're unable to learn from your and others' experiences...------------------ ~~ Elixir ~~

Nope. I've just been on the receiving end of quite a bit of hypocrisy from my ex-H. I've also been privy to the "camaraderie" shared between my ex and people I used to consider my friends as he oh-so-conveniently shared just the parts about our marriage that made himself look good. You are "laughing" at your spouse's expense. But that is ok as long as you didn't sleep with anyone outside your marriage?yech. so, any criticism from me must either be from a) guilt b) justification c) insecurityHardly...but of course, all "betrayers" are motivated by one of those three things. Jeez, I don't know why I even bother to say anything here...

TheStudent -- Come on!!! I want you here. We are just pointing out the absurdities that sometimes accompany these situations. I have said some pretty stupid things over the last 8 months. Didn't really lie, but I'm sure W and OM and her mother have had some pretty good laughs at my expense. It's just a casualty of the situation.Lighten up just a little, I'm sorry you're hurting. All of the rest of us(betrayed and betrayer) do too. We just need a little levity sometimes and it's just human nature to look toward the person or event that has hurt us. It's part of the healing process.We mean you no insult and I think you should stay and continue to post what's on your mind. It is good for the rest of us.--DeWayne--

TheStudent:Any "friends" of yours that would desert you and just take H's side because of what he's told them are friends you don't need. Anybody with a brain in their head knows that there are two sides to every story, and the truth is somewhere in the middle.I know that the few family members of mine that know about Petunia's affair have their opinions, and most of them have NO idea how she could have done this. I have no idea how she could have done it.The point is, they can't possibly think objectively about it because they don't know what she went through. The same goes for your "friends" that now laugh at your expense. Clearly, they aren't getting the whole story, but if they choose to laugh at you without knowing the full story, then they aren't the kind of people that you need in your life right now.Your opinion and presence at this forum is highly valued. You bring a perspective that many of us betrayed spouses don't understand. While none of us will ever condone your actions as a betrayer, we ARE here to listen and comfort, and offer our own perspectives to help you understand your Ex-H's behavior.Clearly your Ex didn't handle this situation as well as he could have. Perhaps he was not terribly happy either, and this was his convenient excuse to get out. I really don't know. All I can tell you is that it is clear to me that you are remorseful for your actions. That speaks VOLUMES. Hell, you made a mistake, and your Ex-H is probably going to milk that for all the sympathy he can. But -- that's a hallmark of HIS immaturity, not your bad character.You have repented and sought forgiveness. YOU have dedicated yourself to rebuilding your life. You can't force your Ex-H to join you in that endeavor, but you know as well as everyone here that if he chooses NOT to forgive and rebuild, then it's HIS loss, not yours.Hang in there, friend. I know it can't be easy for you, especially when there are so many more of us betrayeds here. Sometimes we just need to marvel at the whole absurdity of this situation. Please cut us a little slack. Your H may be a hypocrite, but not EVERYONE here is.Happy Holidays.------------------ /// Lone Star * ///

OK

Most people lie for one of two reasons. They don't wnat to hurt the person they are lying to or they don't want to get hurt themselves. The fact is that, as Jack Nicholson put it, "YOU CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH" The truth can be hurtful and vicious and most people don't want to be that way. So they lie. Perhaps we should be painfully honest and get it over with. It certain seems better than the ridiculous lies we've all said or heard. So maybe instead of saying "She's only a friend and this relationship is meaningless", Maybe we need to say "You're a fat pig and I can't stand you anymore so I just went to OW/OM to find peace of mind and some good loving, God knows I don't get any of that here".Or you could say "Of course I love OW/OM he/she isn't always nagging me the minute I get home about some petty stuff I don't want to hear about anymore".We don't want to say or do things that will hurt our W/H even though we are probably hurting them more with our actions. Do you want to hear the truth? Then listen to it with open ears and an open heart. The truth is only the truth to the person saying it. If you can't accept the truth, then all you will get is lies. After all, the truth will probably hurt the teller 100% of the time but lying might save your butt half the time. Figure the odds. Flip