The End... A Beginning... Goodbye - 01/11/00 09:11 PM
I was thinking New Years Eve about the difference a year makes. I've learned so much over the past 12+ months and, while I would never want to do it again, I have to recognize that I am much better off having lived through it.<P>A year ago I was all but begging my husband not to leave me. I couldn't imagine life without him, even though I had really been living that way for a very long time. Even with the knowledge that there had been several others for many years. Back then I ignored a lot and would have forgiven anything. Status quo is a very hard thing to give up. Never again. Now I am glad that part of my life has come to a close; the divorce will be final next month. I've got a good job, my house and my kids. The kids see more of their father now than they did in the preceeding five years and more, and I have to believe it's better quality time, too.<P>It took maybe five or six months of his being gone (and, of course, finding out the depth of his deception) to figure out for myself that I really was better off on my own. Not long after I had decided that, I met someone who proved to me that there is nothing wrong with me. It's one thing to know something, it's another to <I>feel</I> it and sometimes you just have to have it proven.<P>Some things I learned: <P>1) Not all marriages were meant to be, no matter how much one party believes it so.<BR>2) Never just put up and shut up; it never will get any better. Status quo may be comfortable, but that doesn't mean it's healthy.<BR>3) It really does take two. If one doesn't want it - or isn't sure if he/she wants it, it will never be. Period.<BR>4) There really is life after... and that life is what you make it.<P>A little over a month ago, I began seeing a truly wonderful man who is everything a girl could want - everything I've ever wished for anyway. I have told him all about recent events and the troubles I've been having with my son (now there's a study for those interested in psychology), and he told me I wasn't going to scare him off. (My son tried his best to run him off, but it didn't work .) He raised two daughters of his own and is really great with my kids. I felt immediately at home with his parents and his daughters. He even likes my mother! <P>I'd like to thank everybody who helped me through the worst of it, and those who continue to be there. Things don't always turn out the way we expect - or the way we want - but in retrospect they do turn out for the best more often than not. I hope that each of you will find the peace you deserve soon.<P>------------------<BR>Bobbie<P><BR>