I don't know why but I couldn't get onto this sight for days and it was driving me crazy!!!! I missed you and and needed to talk but I couldn't get in.<P>Anyway for an update my crazy life......for those of you who have been reading my others posts :"what is he trying to pull","It is worse then I thought", and "Now I know why my H jumped off the balcony"<P>H decided he didn't want to go to an in-house program, even though everyone in the family tried to talk him into to it. We all agreed he has to want it for himself. This was last Sunday.<BR>Well on Tuesday H got into a car accident because he fell asleep at the wheel. He totaled his car and went to the hospital but he was fine. From the hospital he was taken directly to jail because he had a controlled substance on him.<BR>After this big slap in the face he decided that he better get help. His mom took him to detox because he was really sick and he was talking to himself. He spent 3 days in detox and on Monday (tomorrow) his mom is taking him to a Christian in-house program.<BR>We are still split up and it is really hard especially on our 5 year old. It is so hard for her to understand. <BR>One day I feel fine and don't want him back then the next day I can't stop thinking about him! It drives me crazy. I love and care about him and his well being but on the other hand I don't want anything to do with him. (except for the kids sake)<BR>I finally got on an anti-depressant called<BR>celexa, I have never heard of it but it seams to be ok so far.<BR>I am really tired right now but I wanted to let you all know what the latest news was.<P>I MISSED TALKING WITH YOU ALL!!! <BR>Take care and God Bless!!!<P><P>------------------<BR> GOD,<BR>Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, COURAGE to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference. <P>

WOW! I have really been wondering about you. Seems like God just reached down and slapped your H into reality, huh?<BR>I really hope he goes through with the in-house program his mom is taking him to. Maybe he'll get his life together and come home.<BR>My prayers are with you,<BR>julie<P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>

Thanks LWB <P>I really believe H wants to go through with the in-house program now. He is thinking more clearly without all those drugs in his system.<BR>I saw him again today at his moms house.<BR>He looks so much better.<BR>I could tell by his actions that he wants to get back together. But there is still so much pain, I don't know if I can handle that or not. I do love him but right now I am so confused. I don't want to give him any mixed signals either.<BR>I just want him to go to the 3 month program first then we can go from there.<P>He told me that he couldn't believe that he was alive after the accident.....I told him that God wanted to snap him back to reality not kill him. All that has happened this week has really brought him back to reality and I really thank God for that.<BR>Well thanks for listening to me babble on and on and on.......... <P>Take care!!!<P>------------------<BR> GOD,<BR>Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, COURAGE to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference. <P>