looking for trouble - Marriage Builders® Forums

My question: h left yesterday for his new apartment "to just think and decide what to do,definitly going to be alone". This is after a month on the fence. I believe ow gave him an ultimatum. He gave me an address. About midnight I went to check it out. His apartment is in the same town as ow. Found the address. but no apartment. On the internet, I found the address in the next town. Should I check? He took lamp, sleeping bag, snack food and books. No clothes. He has been very confused.His best friend thinks they may be in the camper that he rented from her family, during his previous leaving, for the weekend. Do I check that out? I don't like snooping, but I hate the lies and I want the truth. But, I don't want to undo the work I tried to do with plan a during the past month he was home. HELP. Anyone who has been there, what is right? Maybe it does't matter since he already left.

Noel, I have never been in this situation, so I don't know the best way to handle it. I do know that I would want to know the truth. I have found that it is easier to know the truth, no matter how painful, than to live with the lies and the unknown. Do what you think is best for you, and good luck. I truly hope you find him alone.

Noel - I agree. You need to do what is best for you. He is telling you one thing and you think he is doing something else. Thats hard. My H left this week - to think, gain perspective, be with "her", etc.. The way I see it my H left us. That means he does not answer to me and I do not answer to him. I hate it, but I don't want to hear what he is doing and he better not ask me what I am doing. He is none of his business. Granted I am not with someone else, but it is still none of his business. Take care of yourself - don't ask questions that force him to lie. Do what is right for you. Let him screw up and hope he comes back to reality!Good luck - keep us posted.

Noel, I agree with everyone else.... Do what you feel is right... For me I am resolved that no matter what, I will not go over to my W new place. Because....1. If she is not there then I will wonder where she is and what she is doing.2. If she is there, Is she alone ?3. What good does it do me to torture myself with even checking up on her ?? She will do what she wants anyway.... Regardless of what I find out or say.I have to believe what she tells me now anyway until she gives me a reason not to. So far she hasen't. I have given her every opportunity to tell me everything and she appears to be honest.... So far.I know about the lies, It hurts. But ask yourself if the need to know outwieghs the pain of further discovery.....------------------ Rutger......One day at a time.

Dear Noel: Give him time to think things out. He hasn't decided anything yet, has he? I wouldn't go trying to find anything out until he has made some type of decision. This is, of course, my personal opinion. Sounds like he has to sort some stuff out. I really don't know why he left in the first place or I would continue with my advice. But, can't offer too much advice since I really don't know our story. Why did he leave?