Just keep Beating on me, Lord!!! - Marriage Builders® Forums

I cannot get a break!!!! No matter what I do in life it can never just go smoothly!!!!Went to court and sat around with H while the lawyers did their thing. H is sick with the flu - so I'll probably catch that, too!!Lawyers did not agree on monthly money so we had to have a hearing. I had to take the stand and go through more hell.!!!! Did you all know that hell can get worse? Well, believe me it can!!!!! His lawyer treated me like sh*t!! I couldn't believe that the man I married let this guy talk to me so horribly and make me look so bad!!!! The judge, himself, told H's lawyer to cool it!!!My lawyer wasn't good at all!!! Figures!!!! Granted, he didn't know that alot of what came up would be used but he should have done something!! Don't know what I'm going to do!! The SOB only wants to pay $200. week.Problem I have with my medical stuff is that it's till '96. Stopped going to Drs. cuz they couldn't do anything more. Now my lawyers's talking about getting rediagnosed and that's gonna cost thousands of $$'s. I've got $142.36 to my name!!!! What the hell am I going to do! They probably took this route because they know I can't afford to do that and by the time I can I'll owe all the month's of bills and will be losing the house and credit will be shot.God - just take me now, PLEASE!!!**At least I looked good for all this!!!PS - Not one freakin word could be said about all he's done for the last 3 years.......NICE, HUH!!!!!!!! ------------------Thanks for being there! Good Healing - Sheba [This message has been edited by Sheba (edited August 16, 1999).]

Oh Sheba [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

[img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] ------------------ Just call me - Deb ------------------------ The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.

Sheba,So sorry to hear the news. Don't know what to tell you but hang on and do the best you can. It hurts & it really, really sucks, but letting it get you down will only add to the pressure you're feeling.------------------ Prayers & God Bless! Chris For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Sheba This really sucks!!! Yes I knew that hell can get worse!!! I found that out when I got pregnant on the pill then miscarried.... I wish I could do something about that cash thing. The only thing I can do is pray and you can count on that!!!! One step at a time. Eventually something has to go right for you. Sorry no words of wisdom from me. Just know we're there.

Sheba, I feel so bad for you. I thought about you this morning. I just don't know how somebody can just walk away from all of his responsibilities and think it's ok. Just where are these mens heads anyway! I'm just so mad that you got treated like that! Maybe you need to look for another attorney. I myself have chosen a woman attorney if it goes that far. I think maybe a woman attorney will understand more the hell that we are put through.Just know that I'm here if you need to talk. Jill{What wicked webs infidlety weaves}

This court thing is nothing I know. All I can give you is a shoulder.Your H's lawyer is just doing what he is hired to do. Your H may not have known he would treat you so badly. Of course he had to have supplied info, right?Your lawyer sounds ho hum. He sounds like he is doing only the minimum.Geez Sheba, if there is a bright side it may be you are on the "Getting Over Husband Express"...and who knows how much that is worth.Best of luck. We are here.------------------ Faith, Hope, Love Remain, but the greatest of these is Love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Sheba, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am crying with you. Try to remember at God DOES have a great plan for you. He will provide for you and your children. He will take the suffering away as soon as He can. Lean on Him as hard as you can right now, and us too. He knows you are doing the right thing."I cry these tears, not for sadness nor for sorrow, But to empty the darkness in my soul, So I may fill back up with with all the love there is."God Bless You. You are an inspiration. Ceecee

Sheba,Yuck. This sounds Ishy. Ick. We all have bad days, and today seems to be yours. Hope tomorrow is better. Nothing is permanent, you know. Nothing. Never say Never.

Sheba --

I don't know what else I can say that the others haven't. I understand what it is like to get reamed in court.I will be praying for you.God Bless

Sheba- So sorry today was so awful for you. I guess the lawyers are just doing their job...but sometimes they make an already emotional situation worse.Look to God for your financial provision. He will give you what you need...remember, it may not come in the form you want. Have faith!I'm praying for you.

Sooo sorry Sheba. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I will keep praying for you and for your H. It's awful what he is doing to you. I can't believe he doesn't see that. You are a good person and remember there is a plan for you.I don't know if you listen to country music, but have you ever heard the song by Garth Brooks "Unanswered Prayers"? Now, I'm not saying your prayers won't be answered, but the song reminds me that we do not know what's best for us, God does, and if we stay faithful, He will fulfill our lives.I will try to check in tonight. We never are here at the same time, but I am really concerned about you.ps. How do you like your hair? ------------------ Shoni [This message has been edited by Shoni (edited August 16, 1999).]

Oh, Sheba, I'm so sorry for you. I don't know what else to say, and there's no advice to give you, but I will be thinking about you and praying for you.Hang in there. It can only get better.Lori

"Let us not get tired of doing right for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up." (Gal 6:9)You did the hard work trying to save your marriage. Your husband may have fleeting enjoyments, but his life isn't worth anything. You on the other hand have nothing but God's blessings ahead.I know, that whole "ahead" business can make you crazy, but truly, God has a plan. And go ahead and yell your problems to God using whatever language you want, he knows what you're thinking anyway (this is what my Christian counselor advises me). End with "Now it's Your problem God, you deal with it." Not as nice sounding as "cast your burdens upon the Lord", but...

Hi Sheba, You were on my mind all day. I don't think I have any great advice but you know that HE has a plan. I never can see what it is as I crash, but in retrospect I always see where HIS plan was so much better than mine. I can only see in the moment......HE sees the entire picture. I am the farthest person from religious that I know, however I know that whether you call him God, Jehovah, or The Big Head, He has the Right answers. Not necessarily the ones I think I want at the time, but in retrospect....He always knows whats best for me. I envision Him as a central computer that is on-line with all. He knows and has already put the plan in motion. I love you Sheba, you have kept me sane when I just wanted to crawl away and die. He sent you to me. You will be fine because He is looking out for you also. Hugs... Love, Karen------------------ alleyoop

Sheba,I am so sorry to hear about your day in court. It seems as though quite a few people around here are having rough days. You tried your best to make it through and for that you can hold your head high and be proud of yourself. I will be praying for you and hoping things will improve for you. Money is such a terrible thing to be an issue and it seems as though it is for all of us. It will come to you in your time of need, I believe that and will wish it upon you.Hang tough, we're thinking of you.T2W

hugs and prayers for you sheba. Take your undies off. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I am so sorry. Wonder what the money thing is with some people? They get so caught up in it. Sometimes I think it is to escape from the real pain?

I just wish things would get better for you. I just hope the future holds better things for you than life is treating you right now. Keep your chin and remember you have lots of shoulders here if you need them to cry on. You are someone I know I can count on if I need to talk so email me if you need someone to talk to. Hope things get better soonGod Bless

I'm gonna latch on to the postive, here...YOU LOOKED GOOD. Good for you! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I'm sending some spiritually loaded "white light" your way. have some wine and get a good night's sleep. julie------------------ for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.

Hi Everyone -Eyes are puffy so can't write much now but I wanted to let you all know what's going on....Had to work after stopping in here and then came home to find my Mom waiting for me. God love her but she's making me nuts!! Didn't tell her much cause she'd worry herself into the hospital!!She came in with me and I checked the answering machine - hangup - knew it was H!!!! We had his brother's twin D's Birthday Party to go to tonight but I had called and cancelled. They knew about court date and without going into detail I said I was just emotionally exhausted - No problem.H as I mentioned was sick, so I figured he wouldn't be going. Paged him and he called right back. Asked if he went to walk-in cuz he's been running fever for 4 days - he didn't go cuz he got called in for overtime and was working but said he felt like he was going to pass out - when I saw him at court, I did the old "feel how hot he is" and he was burning up!!! (yeah, I know not my problem!! - Don't yell at me - old habits die hard!)Anyway I spoke with him awhile and he promised to go to DR soon and I told him I would check by calling him tomorrow. When we were hanging up he says "OK, Thanks Hon - and I'm Sorry!!!!!What the heck did that mean? Sorry for court, sorry for cheating, sorry for lying, sorry for disrespecting, Sorry for throwing me away like garbage!!!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!Then I get off the phone and get yelled at by Mom for even talking to him, let alone paging him. I told her he was on the machine (it was him - wanted to tell me he wasn't going to B-Party.) She doesn't understand that this is not new revalations to me - I've been living with his actions and attitude for a long time. It's new to her!!!When she left I called my eldest brother (he's my practical brain and money manager - other Bro is my humor pick me up) and told him the story. Even cried to him - which is something I never do!! He's putting bill money in my account tomorrow for this month's bills and is backing me with hiring the shark lady attorney I had talked to last year but didn't like and couldn't afford. (Chris - you might remember cuz you helped me that night: I picked the wrong one of course!!!!)Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I talked with my "real" family all evening and just couldn't go to bed without letting my "Heal" family know that I am working on a strategy and am Ok!!!Geez, a few weeks ago it was my emotions that were up and down - now it's my life events!!!! Do you all think Convents take divorced women????? LOL!!!Hugs and THANK YOU'S to all and I will get back tomorrow with individual acknowledgements and Episode #?????Love,Sheba

Hi Again -I forgot two things that I have to say now!!!!Chris - Welcome Back!!!CL - Didn't have 'em on - maybe luck takes awhile!!!!!

I thought I posted last night, but it shut down and I guess it did not go through....Quickly, I think I'm liking shark lady.Dry your eyes, square your shoulders, you deserve respect.Who knows what H was sorry for? Interesting to find out. Could it be that he has been behaving like a big fat jerk to our friend, Sheba?------------------ Faith, Hope, Love Remain, but the greatest of these is Love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Sheba,Does your husband work for a company? Are you ready to play hardball?Image. Image is all that matters. Truth is irrelevant sometimes. Just an image gets the job done.Get the word out: First Name Middle Name Last Name is a deadbeat Dad. Show up unannounced where he works. Go to the payroll department with your incompetent lawyer. Demand to see how they calculate child support out of his paycheck. Raise a stink. Make sure the people in the other cubicles get hear everything and get his name and department down pat. Don't solve anything just get the gossip train rolling. It'll be all over the company. Maybe even approach the media about yet another deadbeat Dad. It's always a good story because everybody hates them.That company will want this problem squashed pronto. Your husband won't wait for a court date, he will settle or his boss will settle his a** right out the d*** door.So when you're ready to play hardball to get your children the care they deserve, smear that image.Love and kisses, Cuckold

Oh Sheba, I wish I had the magical words to make you smile! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I can't imagine how hard this must be, but you seem to be dealing with things alright. (the best that can be expected)I'm glad you are getting the other lawyer. Not that you want to crush H with her, but you need to protect yourself. I'm so glad you have family that is helping you out right now. That is so important. (even mother's good intentions!)The I'm sorry? I think he is realizing what he is doing to you. Maybe he is sorry his lawyer was so hard on you, but I think he maybe he is just plain sorry for being something I can't say here! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I don't know, but in any case it indicates that he knows he's doing something wrong.I will be thinking about you. Take care of yourself. You are always there when I need someone, and I think you are a GREAT person!------------------ Shoni

Sheba I'm glad your brother is helping you. That will take some of the load off. Hope you're feeling a bit better today. I've been thinking about the convent thing myself. I have an aunt who is a nun and have considered checking with her. I know there is a nun out here that is a grandmother. Probably a widow but I figure that's always a possibility too. Just kidding!!!!!

Isn't it soooo wild... The circumstance hasn't changed. But the support you receive from family and friends here at MB - can change your attitude immensely - and after a rough day like yesterday - you can still demonstrate the love you have for him by not requiring justice on an emotional level.Your attitude and your support system are very key to how you impact your husband. Every communication with him or his family is an opportunity. Keep your vision. Keep strong. Be determined. Use all the luck you can muster (I will now view luck as no panties - CL look for hidden message when I wish someone good luck......)Sheba, you are terrific. You never lose your sense of humor. And your Never's are only for a moment. You will triumph over this circumstance with flying colors. New haircut, luck, great attitude, sense of humor, super wonderful family, and a cheering section at MB - GO SET THE WORLD A BLAZE!!!!!!

Sheba, God Bless you, I do not have any words of wisdom for you. However, you gave me help and support a few days ago when I needed it so badly. Though you might like to know, that I stopped the e-mails and cards to him and I actually received one from him this morning. It was short, just a good morning and hope I had a good day, but it ended with "I Love You". I did not ask for it, it came on it's own, so I feel better and replied back to him, with a simple thank you, you too and ditto.God is carrying us through this time of need, I know he is carrying me, I went to the Dr's last week with a lump, when we got through that day, the ultrasound showed over a dozen lumps in my breasts that even the Dr had not located. We are currently waiting on the final results of all the tests but I think God has his own plan and I am trying to leave it in his hands.thank you, sheba, I am saying prayers for both of us and our families. One day we will know why all of this has taken place in our lives because I truly believe there is a purpose to all things. We just don't always find out immediately.

Sheba, I've been out for a while and have been catching up on a few posts. I was very disappointed to see how things have turned sour for you. I have no advice in regards to the court thing - I can only imagine how awful that must be. Two months ago, I was at the lowest point in my life. W's affair was at its zenith and I felt everything slipping away. I felt God had abandonned me. Now, I am certain that He was the only One that was holding me at that time. What I didn't know or see at that time was that He was shaping me into the person He wanted me to be. Through adversity we are made stronger. Sheba, while I know you are in severe pain right now, please be comforted by the fact that God has a wonderful plan for you and He is shaping you into the person He wants you to be. You may not know it, but I have seen a lot of growth in your words. You are growing stronger each day. I wish I could see the future for you and tell you everything will work out the way you want it to, but I can only say that it will work out the way God want's it to. He will watch over and care for you. Your H has no idea what he is missing. He's missing a stronger Sheba, a more loving Sheba, and a more caring Sheba. He is sacrificing so much for forsaking you. Unless he wakes up soon, he will miss out on a very special lady. My prayers are with you.SHA

I'm sorry you are feeling so hurt. Try to think positively. At least your H is willing to give you financial support. There are many men who walk out and dismiss their responsibilities. Always try to keep in mind that the lord will provide and he also never gives you what you want but what you need.Gather your strength and make it work for yourself. Good luck.Q------------------

Sheba and cl, well ladies, you managed to totally freak Bozo out with this one, he didn't read the other thread, so when he read this one this morning he spent 10 minutes trying to understand WHY cl was telling Sheba to take off her undies. It was just too tooo funny.------------------ Just call me - Deb ------------------------ The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.

Hi Everybody -I have been busy during the day and at night - I've tried to come and thank everyone and have fallen asleep with the keyboard in my lap!!!Guess all this and sleep deprivation have caught up with me.Well, I got a good night's sleep and am bright-eyed and bushy tailed. So, sorry for the delay and here goes......First, I want to THANK YOU all for your support, concern, laughter and tears. You are my saving grace - each and every one of you!!!!Individual Notes:Deb - Well, it seems that the replies start and end with you!! Thank you for the sad smiley faces - they conveyed your feelings very well!! And your last reply about Bozo made me laugh so hard!!!! You really made my day and everytime I read it I laugh just as hard, so you've provided me with something to boost me when I am down. Poor Bozo - did he read the other thread yet or did you explain it to him? I'm laughing again - see, you're amazing!!Chris - As I said before - welcome back and I missed you!!! Need that humor, you know!!! Yeah, it sucks, BIGTIME!! But, we are all going to get through it and no matter the outcome - we will have learned more about ourselves and will be able to have a happier future with a lot more self-awareness.WS - Thanks for talking with me through this, I really appreciate it and it helps so much. How are things with you? My family is wonderful, none of us have very much financially but we more than make up for it in support and love. My brother already has my life planned - sell the house, he'll get me a condo that takes dogs, a new car, etc. He's a riot!!!! When I was on the phone with him and he said he was going to get me what ever I need - the emotions from his love and concern were so overwhelming that I started crying... He got all twittapated and wanted to know if I wanted to talk with his GF!!! The poor guy couldn't deal with his little sister crying!!!!! It was funny!!!CrazyorWhat? - Thanks for your thoughts and offer of an ear. You're so kind. I definitely need a change of attorneys and have made some progress there. As far as where their head's are --- Well, I think they've put them somewhere where the sun don't shine.....!!! LOLFHL - hi there!! About the "Getting over Husband Express" - I think it ran me over!!! LOL.... I don't think you can ever realize just how much you calm me!! My eyes are dry, shoulders squared and I will get respect if I have to hit him with his own PR Stick (billyclub - he's a cop!!)...LOL Made me laugh with the big, fat, jerk!!! Thank you for calling me your friend....Thank you for being here and for being YOU!!! All set for the trip?ceecee - Thanks for the reminder of God's plan and for the verse. Where did you get that verse from? I like it and it is truly fitting for what happens when I cry.....let me know, OK?TNT - Hello, and welcome back! I'm sorry for all your recent family sadness and have said prayers for all. You're right in that Nothing is permanent - I think I need something to be though!!! I could not be doing as well with my sanity if it weren't for my family and all of you folks, so again - I give thanks!! Isn't CL great with her no panties luck thing!!! It worked - just not in the way I expected. The luck wasn't in court - it was with my family and you guys after!!!! Thanks for your confidence boosting - I'm not too sure about setting the world A BLAZE - left my curling iron plugged in yesterday when I went to work so about the only thing that I might set ablaze is my house!!!! LOL !!EmptyShell, Enlightened and Lostva - Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Court certainly stunk and I think the worse part was that nothing of the current situation and the truth of this whole mess could be said. I guess that comes later - it better!!!Shoni - Hi Honey!!! How are you doing? Thanks for being here for me and I'll have to get the Garth Brooks song - what's the name of the CD it's on? My hair came out great!!! I'm glad I cut it cuz it feels lighter and cooler!! My H's "I'm Sorry" - I think you're right that it could be for anything, but shows that he knows he's doing something wrong!!! Maybe when he figures it out he'll let me know!!!Lor - Thanks for the scripture and I'm trying veeeeerrrry hard not to be discouraged... I'll get through this, I know!!! God will lead me to the outcome he has decided for me and for H.T2W - Hi there!! Isn't it terrible that so many here have to go through all of this!! Some have it worse than others but none of us deserve any of it. Life would be a lot simpler and less painful if we all kept honesty in the forefront!!! Thanks for the money wish - you're powerful cuz it came through pretty quick!!!Alleyoop - Hello Karen.....How are things going for you and H? Thanks for your love and concern and you are right that God will send us what we need. He sent me here to find all of you!!CL - Thanks for the luck!!! Have you been busy like me lately cuz I haven't seen to much from you? As SO glad you popped up with your thoughts for me. Thank you and the money thing - it's a family hangup on his side. Very sad really!! Definitely, an escape from any real feelings and a useful bad actions cover-up!!!!Hopeful - Thank you for your thoughts and offer of an ear. Isn't it wonderful to be able to have a place like this? LWB - Thanks, Julie - I got the "white lights". Feel stronger and calmer already!! I've gotten a good night's sleep. Didn't use Wine though, took NyQuil the first night - does that count? LOLCuckold - Wow, now I know where to go for some Assertiveness!!!! LOL Thanks for the strategy. H is a cop and most of what he's doing is very typical in the Dept. so no-one blinks and eye!!! He is not aware of his real image only of the image he has with the other jerks who are involved with this kind of crap. I don't have to smear his image because he's doing that all by himself!!! Someday he will be confronted by it and I will not be tainted with being the cause of it. It could work out to be a very good thing!!Lila - I was thinking about you and am glad to see that some things have gone well as far as H. I'm sorry to hear about these lumps and you are right that it is all in God's hands. My prayers go out that you will be fine and that God keeps you safe. There are definitely reasons for all of this. Hang in there and keep posting - we are all each other's shoulders through all of the pain and fear.SHA - Thank you for your concern and kind words. You brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart. If I recall correctly, in one of my very first posts to you , I said that your wife was a very lucky woman....I meant it then and can only reiterate it now!!! God bless you both and may He keep lighting your path with His love!!Querida - Thanks and I know that there are people a lot worse off than I am. The Lord does provide in His own time and in His own way......