How Do You Really Know??? Please Help! - 01/28/04 09:15 AM
Hi all,
Haven't been here in awhile, and wanted to ask, how do you REALLY know if your spouse is cheating on you?
I've asked a zillion times (knowing he STILL may not just tell me), my antennae is up as to where he goes, and I'm able to see all he does online.
NOTHING!
He goes to work (mechanic, 1 married woman there), he either comes home or goes to his brother's house to work on cars (I've asked several times without warning, if I can meet him there and he has no problem with it), and he stops off at the store for me after work, if I ask him to, and goes to the store on week-ends for me.
Other than that, he's usually home. He did go to an all day snowmobile show a week ago, but that was it.
His computer is completely clear, and yes I do know how to check... he never visits porn, and there are no emails to him, ever. There's just nothing to really go on ... except that he does stop at a particular gas station to get coffee allot, and there are 2 women that work there, but that's about it.
How does one find out? How do you ever really know?
OK .. WHY I suspect anything at all:
All though we've had problems from day one, and the marriage has not been good for some time, and we've discussed separation for 2 years now, he recently told me he's out of love with me. He says he still cares about me (yeah right!), but is not "IN" love with me anymore, and not sure if he even loves me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
That's not easy to take ... of course, but as much as I try to fill up his love tank, and not do any busting, he is COLD and I do mean COLD towards me! He's withdrawn and looks at me terribly even when I say good-morning. He's irritable and touchy (understatement), I've NEVER refused him sex, as a matter of fact .. no matter HOW upset I am or tired or anything .. I offer him sex .. BUT .. he will hardly take it anymore!
That's another reason I guess, but then he IS 55, and says he just doesn't want or need it much anymore .. and I'm not sure if that's true. How can I know? I don't see how I really can.
There's more to us .. but I'd just like to know if there are any sure-fire ways to know? Anything you can ask that will reveal an affair, if even an emotional one?
Looking forward to the help ... thank you!
Hugs,
Dee
<small>[ January 28, 2004, 03:19 AM: Message edited by: dd50 ]</small>
Haven't been here in awhile, and wanted to ask, how do you REALLY know if your spouse is cheating on you?
I've asked a zillion times (knowing he STILL may not just tell me), my antennae is up as to where he goes, and I'm able to see all he does online.
NOTHING!
He goes to work (mechanic, 1 married woman there), he either comes home or goes to his brother's house to work on cars (I've asked several times without warning, if I can meet him there and he has no problem with it), and he stops off at the store for me after work, if I ask him to, and goes to the store on week-ends for me.
Other than that, he's usually home. He did go to an all day snowmobile show a week ago, but that was it.
His computer is completely clear, and yes I do know how to check... he never visits porn, and there are no emails to him, ever. There's just nothing to really go on ... except that he does stop at a particular gas station to get coffee allot, and there are 2 women that work there, but that's about it.
How does one find out? How do you ever really know?
OK .. WHY I suspect anything at all:
All though we've had problems from day one, and the marriage has not been good for some time, and we've discussed separation for 2 years now, he recently told me he's out of love with me. He says he still cares about me (yeah right!), but is not "IN" love with me anymore, and not sure if he even loves me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
That's not easy to take ... of course, but as much as I try to fill up his love tank, and not do any busting, he is COLD and I do mean COLD towards me! He's withdrawn and looks at me terribly even when I say good-morning. He's irritable and touchy (understatement), I've NEVER refused him sex, as a matter of fact .. no matter HOW upset I am or tired or anything .. I offer him sex .. BUT .. he will hardly take it anymore!
That's another reason I guess, but then he IS 55, and says he just doesn't want or need it much anymore .. and I'm not sure if that's true. How can I know? I don't see how I really can.
There's more to us .. but I'd just like to know if there are any sure-fire ways to know? Anything you can ask that will reveal an affair, if even an emotional one?
Looking forward to the help ... thank you!
Hugs,
Dee
<small>[ January 28, 2004, 03:19 AM: Message edited by: dd50 ]</small>