Internal dialogue... - Marriage Builders® Forums

I have my mojo, person, my SELF back. I have the joy back. Am more truly true to myself since before this whole adultery mess.

Plan B really does work. Even if your marriage doesn't. I feel removed from all the drama, hopeful about my future, and like myself again. I feel this newfound strength to have reclaimed who I am.

Some interesting observations:

- I love Harry Connick, Jr. again (something I could not bear to listen to during the height of all the pain, because his music reminded me of the early romantic years of my marriage, which was very hard for me because he is my very very very very favorite in the whole wide world). Now I sing his songs at the top of my lungs in the shower, hear them humming in my mind when I am on a long walk, and when I hear those clever, syrupy (not a word, but work with me), love laden words, and do not hurt for what I have lost, what could have been but wasn't, but instead laugh at some of the unrealistic characteristics of the words, and secretly wish for something close to that for myself one day (yes, it's true, I am a hopeless romantic at heart).

- I discovered a new big band/jazz/swing artist that I really like, that reminds me somewhat of Harry (Connick and I are on a first name basis). His name is Jamie Cullum. And his music brings me pure, adulterated (ironic word) JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY. I feel sexy, perky, and vibrant when I listen to his music. Unfortunately, I do not yet own his CD, but instead keep borrowing it from own of my office mates. But I am soooooooo happy to be discovering music, albeit idealistic, romantic, silly and smoky jazz bar-ish music, but a new discovery that speaks to something reawakened inside of me.

- I am not a big TV fan. Which is an interesting observation because my life with W-STBX-H involved a LOT of TV watching. And I always assumed it was because we both really liked TV. But the truth is, I do not really like to waste my time with that. I much rather play with the kids, pop in a CD (see two bullets above), do some yoga, sit on my back porch, garden, spend time with friends that I have neglected over the years, or piddle around on the computer.

- I am a happy, super friendly person. Which is an interesting observation because I have spent the last several years really angry. And that is really interesting, because I would have told anyone who would have asked over the past several years that I was really happy with my life, my marriage, my husband. But maybe I wasn't...I need to process that some more. But now, I smile at strangers, say hello to fathers walking their children at the park, commiserate with strange young women on the endless hunt of cute shoes at the mall, banter with the clerk at the grocery, and even struck up a conversation with a young family at the counselors office yesterday. I have ALWAYS been a DEFINITE extrovert, but I look back now and realize I have not made too many new friends, aside from work associates, over the years. I have not nurtured that deep need inside of myself to just connect, and love, and know other people. It feels so good to be heading back to that.

- I am managing my health much better now. I was thinking about a really rough time in my marriage last night, when my W-STBX-H made some really hasty decisions (quit his job to explore a job change w/out consulting me, when our second child was just months old, put our family into EXTREME financial straights, etc.) Something that crossed my mind was how I was really struggling with my weight then. I hit my all time weight high then, and I remember just having so much fear, and feeling this intense sense of betrayal (ironic) and this sense that I had to unfairly be burdened with all the responsibility with our family, and wanting so badly to be taken care of, but knowing that W-STBX-H could not and would not do that. And I just started trying to literally insulate myself. Weird. I am now excited to be showing the world who I really am. I still have some weight (about 40lbs actually) to pare off, but I just know it will happen. I am not worried about it. I am eating well, exercising like a fiend (if I cannot have sex, I guess I will just get sweaty and exhausted from running 3 miles, doing yoga nightly, etc), and no longer feel this need to shove down something that will "make me feel" safe and in control. Because, well, I feel safe and in control, or at least have a more healthy perspective of what can and should be controlled, and what it means to be loved and safe. I guess it took losing what I thought I could not live without, living without it, then living without it well, to learn I am going to be just fine.

- I am considering things I would have never done before. Like writing a book. Going back to school to get my Master's (not in Advertising, but maybe Sociology). Becoming a certified massage therapist (just for a weekend gig, or to rub that right someone). Having another child (not now, but in the future maybe, with someone new should the right man come along...and this is really interesting because I never thought I would do this in my marriage...I was FINISHED having children). Or along the same lines, adopting a child (something I wanted to do for years and years and years). Traveling to Greece. Learning to be more conversational in Spanish (and then going to Spain, for like a MONTH or something, so I can be sure to test it out).

Anyway, I just wanted to serve as a source of encouragement to those BS's out there that cannot fathom a life without their spouse. The hurting people out there who feel that slight nauseous knot in the pit of their stomach when they even for a split second envision life without this person they pledged to love no matter what. Those people who have dark circles under their eyes, the ones who cannot sleep, can't eat, can barely breath. I remember how much it hurt to just breath in and out. And now, I wake up, standing taller, with a little pep in my step, and a gentle smile, taking in as much air as my lungs can handle.

You can get there too...no matter what happens in your marriage.

My thoughts are with you all!

[ August 02, 2004, 08:19 AM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

S,

What a FABULOUS post! You are 100% correct. This is what Plan B is all about. You are removed from the drama. You find the peace, finally, to reintroduce yourself to YOU.

I am so very happy for you and where you are with yourself right now.

I recently found some new music that I love too. Have you ever heard of Bond? They are a British quartet (all girls) on strings! With a sorta dance club beat underneath. Check it out at bond-music.com. They are awesome! IMHO, that is!

OK, back to topic...you have definitely rediscovered the you that you permitted to get buried in your relationship. That is such a good thing and I am so happy for you.

Hugs!

Standing "O" for you

That is ovation, I don't want to confuse you in your sex deprived state. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

KY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Mmmmmmm....the big O.....

KY, u r obviously struggling with the gotta gotta have it state, too (or need I mention your login name, hmmmm?????)!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Gosh!! After reading that, I kinda wanna run away from home! --DT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

serendipiT...I would say that your day dream was
prophetic. Good for you!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Purely coincidental my login name, and my state of gotta have it.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
KY

YOU GOT YOUR LIFE BACK!

This is wonderful.....it's been a while since I posted to you, and I genuinely hope for only good things in your life...and it sounds like you're off to a great start.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You got your mojo back!!!!

Oh yeah... Oh yeah... oh yeah

Wassssuuuupppp, MBer's. I wonder if I am allowed to be a member of this sacred society, especially when I no longer want to build my marriage. I should probably migrate to the divorcing boards, and leave all you infidelity, wanna save my marriage souls to do without my ponderings.

I meet with WH today to discuss D. A little anxious about this meeting, because I have a feeling it will be incredibly manipulative. STBXWH has returned from another international trip last week, and here are the manipulative things he has done so far:

Friday, first day back, called me because he did not know he was supposed to pay the sitter. With is utter and complete BS. I had detailed for him in writing twice and once verbally the payment schedule.

Saturday, called me, I let call go to voice mail, he left a message from the grocery store to ask me if I needed groceries. I left a message back, that, no, I was fine, thanks for the offer (not sure WHY he was offering that, since I have never needed him to buy me groceries). He then calls back again and leaves a message asking me what I meant by my message. I again say, I am FINE. Thanks, but no thanks.

Sunday, calls in the am to say I did not pack church clothes for the kids. I had stopped packing church clothes for the kids since he had not gone to church with them since he moved out in March. He comes over and gets them ready, he is asking me if I am ok, am I sure everything is ok? Yeah, I am super...I am getting stalked by you, and oh, by the way, get to remember, as a somehow distant and no longer emotionally impactful memory, of how badly you hurt me, you SOB. Of course I did not say that. Whatever.

Sunday afternoon, calls to see if he left behind at my house that morning a bag of gifts for his brother's family that he had picked up in Canada while he was there. Not sure why he would have even taken it inside my house in that morning in the first place (why would you take that in...the kids just changed really quick and then left, nothing in the bag was for me or the kids, so why not leave it in the car). I go in my son's room, and sure enough, it was in there. So I run it to his apt while I head out to get gas.

He is an irritating knat that I will have to swoosh away from my face for the rest of the life. He is an amazingly evil person. An evil person bent on selling me a piece of swampland and the premise that he is not a bad guy. And there is LOTS of swampland here in sunny Florida, but I am just not buying. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Going through the big D and don't mean Dallas.

Anyway...someone give me something to laugh about!!!!

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Oh! oh! me too. I'll take a big helpin' of something to laugh about, and throw a spoonful of sex on that.
<hr /></blockquote>So - this soon to be D lady, this really short guy, and an Indian walks into a bar, the Indian says, I had great sex last night, what about the two of you????

Hee hee

I, too, love O-ntario.

Hmmm...funny. How about this....some advertising humor (since this is my profession, that I am NOT doing right now, obviously):
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?"
The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.

After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words."

So the Colonel gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales. The Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."

So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news. The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."

How about that....irreverant, sarcastic, and cynical.

well this was a very fun thread to read!!!!

Hey...I get a little fiesty...write back...answer the calling for some insanity...and I get nothing...nada...

chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp...those are crickets.

Tough crowd. Sheesh.

Don't make me bust our the REALLY juicy material.

LAUGH DAMNIT.

I laughed does that count???

KY

SerendipiT, I really appreciated reading your post. Two years ago, before the A, sad life circumstances began entering my life. I was at a good place in my life and felt very positive. As these circumstances became worse I had to acknowledge that sometimes life just sucks. During this period is when H began having his A, which was last April or May. As the past year as progressed I have kept it together, yet a sadness has definitely entered my life. It was terrible before D-day, 1/8/04. At least I'm dealing with the truth now.

I guess what I want to say is I am longing for the day I too get my MOJO back. I never had to Plan B. H appears to be committed to recovery, but who knows. I don't believe he has had any contact with OW. Yet he is still withdrawing from her I'm sure. Our hearts are still not open to each other yet because of the A. I know the work that lies ahead of us if we are to recover, and that sucks. In certain ways I think Plan B might be easier to find oneself again. But I hope I can get to that place again. I am truly happy for you! It's sounds great! CV

Hey, I’m laughing too… actually had people starring as they walked by my cubical… damned near shot Mountain Dew out my nose…!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Seriously though, congrats on the plan B success… I find it to be of great encouragement.

Keep it up and Good Luck!

Aha!!!! Back at last. Had an eventful evening to say the least....but I am way too happy to dig it all up and recount it now. I will wait until I am at work where I can be more unproductive and get into the nitty gritty.

feelin feisty, smart alecky, and wanting to write something funny...

something funny.

Well, sorry about the late reply.

CV: I really feel like you are my soul sister or something (that whole initials thing...remember me, same initials, changed my screen name, etc). You will get there. You are just taking a different path.

Hey...Want My Wife Back, I read your reply and laughed at you laughing at me laughing...or something like that!

CP: You are going to be nuttin but trouble, I can tell. I will reply on your threads separately!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SerendipiT, this is too weird! Over in recovery I asked Spider today if she knew where you were because I haven't seen your name and was concerned about you. You could have told me you changed your name girl! Anyway, I am so happy for you! I really am. I want to know everything that happened. Why did you change your name? OK, fill me in if you can. Yes, we are soul sisters! CV

SerendipiT, Cello is really down. I think he'd like to talk to you on the Utter Nonsense thread.

Jenny

CP: Read my post on your thread.

CV: I will update you later on the "saga."

Hello, S, just dropping by to say congratulations and hello. And also offer a little warning: your current Plan B high is a phase, of course. I, too, have experienced it. But, unlike you, I live in a small community where I am forced to witness the apotheosis of H and OW, nutty as she is. (Presumably, the apotheosis will be short-lived, but who knows.) That tends to bring down the highs on a regular basis.

What bugs me a bit in modern society is that in our current life situations is that we are supposed to be upbeat, chirpy, excited about our "new life." The current phase of my life is somber and sobering -- which does not mean that it doesn't have its highs. People keep encouraging you to "let go" and "move on" -- but it's okay to be reflective, it's okay to mourn what has been lost, it's okay to try to heal slowly, and not in keeping with society's imaginary pace.

Our life is a train journey, and we are not always going through Disneyland. Sometimes we go through the ghettos, sometimes through cities. But we have to embrace it as all part of the same journey. One wouldn't want to leave a movie just because one got to the sad part!

Anyway, Tuesday morning reflections...you are doing great. My W-STBX-H is also in the swampland biz. Funny to see evil face-to-face, innit? Sobering.

PS. Keep posting on here. You'll be an inspiration.

AMM: I've got one thing to say to your response.....TRUE NUFF!

I have got to admit there are definitive highs and lows in all of this. But I also think my most prevelant emotions are that of recognizing what a waste it all was.

Let me explain.

Last night I met with STBXWH, and we talked about the Big D and I don't mean Dallas, and who was going to get what, and who was going to pay for what, and who was going to see the kids and when and who was going to pay to raise the kids and how much. It was an unusually healthy conversation.

I felt like we both agreed to a pretty equitable agreement. He made some little smart alecky comments, and I made some little smart alecky comments:

For example:
Me: This is going to be very difficult for you to pay considering your current situation. Won't this be kinda painful.
Mr. STBXWH: No more painful than the last 10 years has been, in other ways.
Me:(( LAUGHING))
Mr. STBXWH: What is so funny?
Me: Well, you know, you had the option as a intelligent adult to make some different choices that could have directly impacted your happiness and been a lot less painful than all of this (me gesturing to the dissolution papers spread out on the table).
Mr. STBXWH: True. Very true. But I felt I was in no position to do anything other than what I did at the time.
Me: Well, I know you thought you were justified at the time, but nothing ever ever ever ever ever will justify the choices you made. No matter the status of our marriage. And it pisses me off when you try to do that. And it is too far gone, so stop it. Stop trying to justify. Just stop it. It will never be an acceptable choice in my book.
Mr. STBXWH: (crying) I know that now. I also know deep down inside that I cannot ever be with you in a romantic sense and be happy. I just know this, but I also know I could have fixed it before it got too far. But it was "too far" for too long, and then I just made it worse. I just set everything on fire.
Me: You just should have said something, or at the very least, took the brave way out and manned it up enough to end the marriage before you started another relationship. That can't make you sleep well at night.
Mr. STBXWH: I know. (crying)

My point is, I am over the marriage, I am. And I know there will be days when that hurts, and days when it feels good, and days when I feel numb, but ultimately, what a shame. What a waste. It could have, at some point in the distant past, been so much different. Woulda, coulda, shoulda.

Or my favorite saying, "If "If" and "butts" were candy and nuts we'd all have a merry christmas."

We laughed. I teased him about at least getting a girlfriend on this continent. I told him I am having trouble hating him, although I do not love him in the starry eyed, romantic sense anymore, but care for him more as a fellow human being and the father of my children. He told me he still cared about me as a friend, and hoped we could be friends for the kids one day. I told him he has treated me worse than my worse enemies, so that will take a lot of time. He told me he held no bitterness. I told him I could not say the same. We laughed.

It was the weirdest thing. It was a sort of cordial finality. A friendly "F-U."

Who knows what I will think of all of this tomorrow!

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> He told me he held no bitterness. <hr /></blockquote>That's like the murderer going to the bereaved family and saying "I bear you no malice."

T, very great words! Some that I need to hear right now and I thank you immensely!

S, you did a gret job in recovering for yourself. I love your first post. Sorry I missed that the first place, i was immerse in my own situation too much. I wish you well. I can't imagine that soon I will be after you, talking about the big D. You are brave, you are strong. GOD bless you and your children.

L&H: not so brave, and not so strong. Making a lot of mistakes along the way. Realizing that my own recovery is a LONG way off...

S, my Wh asked for D since January. Did you see his recent letter to me? I am so pissed off. I am very very sad now. what do you do in this holiday weekend?

Just read it...what a j*****s. So....ARE YOU IN TORONTO RECLAIMING YOUR LIFE YET?????

(((((((((((((lostnhurt)))))))))))))))

Hugs to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

[ July 06, 2004, 04:44 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]

I will be going to Toronto tomorrow. Wh said he will come with us, but he is no where to be found now. WHo cares, I am packing. Will you be meeting me there? You had my cell phone number right? Keep in touch, hope to see you up there.

I would LOVE to go to Toronto....how long will you be there????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Am I the only one lonely, with nothing to do tonight?

chirp chirp chirp...apparently so! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

S, I am lonely too. Just finished talking with Orchid. Do you want to talk to me?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Am I the only one lonely, with nothing to do tonight?<hr /></blockquote>Nope! X just took the children. I don't think I have the will to drag myself out to the porch and watch the fireworks without my babies. I thought about you on the way to the music store today, but managed to walk out without the CDs you recommended <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I'm so absentminded. I saw your posts on my thread but I haven't read through them all yet. I saw the bit about the manifesto request. I'll have to take a running start at that since I'm not feeling terribly verbose or creative, maybe tomorrow in the morning. I'll take my laptop out into the sunshine if the weather is nice. That's always a picker upper.

CP: Ok...well, I think I am going to stop posting on that thread. I don't think my comments have been really well received (maybe I am a bit too direct, sorry if I am). And I know I pissed off KY and Robby with what I thought was a funny Nascar joke...they didn't seem to be laughing....so, sorry again.

I hear your pain. And it sucks. But you have to work through it, which it sounds like you are...so....stay the course.

And who is the loser now. It is 4:30 in the am and here I am posting on the damn site....pathetic.

Ok...the following note is for the benefit of all those people who touted how healthy my recovery was seeming, and proof that AMM knew what she was talking about when she told me I am not off the roller coaster yet....

I am hurting.

It is 4th of July, and I am all by myself. Well, really now, it is the 5th of July, and it is a vacation day, and I am still all by myself.

I think major holidays are going to be especially difficult for me. Why?

Well, for starters, I am AMAZINGLY social. I feel best when I am surrounded by people I love. And I love a lot of people. Have no shortage of friends that make me LAUGH OUT LOUD. Have one set of friends that could seriously be on SNL if they wanted to be, they are so damn funny. And my family, while a little eccentric, is great too. My mom and dad and brother and grandma live about 10 minutes from me (can I tell you how great it is to still have my grandma in my life....when all this stuff hurts, she can still hug me and tell me how special I am and it makes me melt inside, plus, she smells like sugar cookies). And of course, I have my beautiful children that make me laugh and cry and sometimes yell in my life.

I think the fact that I was adopted makes it that I feel best when I am amply accepted, surrounded by a lot of people, like I am the prom queen or something. Does this make any sense? In other words, in the small, hidden, dark and dank corners of my soul, I am still a bit, ok well a LOT, worried about being rejected and abandoned, so that if I have a lot of people around me who love and accept me, than all is well with the world (they can't all unilaterally ditch me, I reason with myself).

So, here I am, crapping my pants, sucking my thumb, in the fetal position, all alone. That awakens in me a pain that I cannot even articulate.

By the way, imagine the pain that was awakened in me when my best friend and love of my life, well, rejected and abadoned me. Sometimes I realy really really really really really hate him for this. He and I were talking recently, and he said he knew for many years I was carrying around emotional baggage from the adoption (something, by the way, I only figured out myself about 6 months ago, just after Dday), and it was placing an unfair burden on him and the marriage. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING, or TRY TO F'IN HELP ME??????? He said, he just thought I knew, and that I was coping to the best of my ability, even if it was damaging the relationship. Which sucks on many levels, because, it makes me feel responsible for what he has done (because that is just my over-achiever so you won't ditch me way....a vicious cycle, really). And intellectually I know I was not responsible for his choices. But emotionally, I wonder, if only I would have needed less, wanted less, needed less reassurances, needed less love, intimacy, connection. If only I would have been a better wife, and better friend, a better lover. If only I would have been a better girl. A better person. Would I have been more worthy then? Would I have earned his loyal commitment then??? That is the little girl in me, wanting so badly to be good enough, so I never have to feel that rejection again. What a [censored] for knowing my deepest darkest fear, seemingly better than I knew it, and then doing the very thing that would destroy me. [censored].

I crave intimacy in a way I cannot even explain. And not in a sexual sense, although that is a big need for me. I mean it more in a closeness, soul bearing soul, honest, pure, completely connected, soulmate kinda way that only a love relationship can bring. And at this stage of my life, I just don't have it. It is too soon for that type of connection in any type of dating relationship I would have. Too soon for me to give someone that kind of access to my heart. And maybe it is a connection I should no longer seek from a partner in a love relationship. And it is a burden and responsibility I cannot put on my children...they do not have the capacity to provide that. Neither do my friends or family. And really, the only one who can do that, is probably God. But in case you have not noticed that from the tone of my more recent posts, He and I have grown apart somewhat over the past few months. We were closer than ever, and now, I know I have stepped back...not really sure why. Maybe I am mad at Him for taking away someone else in my life, and allowing me to feel abadoned and unworthy of love, that forever, soul bonding kinda love, that I need so badly. Perhaps God is allowing that so I will only seek that from Him.

So, this lonely 4th of July (WH has the kids), I went to my Mom and Dad's house. We ate hamburgers, played cards, watched Top Gun, shot off fireworks for my little nephew who is two. It was fun. But it still felt a little empty.

I remembered last 4th of July. I had bought an inexpensive package of fireworks at the grocery for the family to let off in the evening. I remember my husband telling me how white trash it was to let off fireworks, he went on and on and on about how he refused to let them off, hated fireworks, it is nedneckish, etc. And he did not let them off...no matter how I pleaded, reasoned, teased, or negotiated. And we did not see fireworks that night.

I remembered tonight that night a year ago, and how it hurt my feelings. Come on. That could have been a simple, harmless family tradition that would have made the kids so happy. I remembered how impressed I would be as a kid at the sparkling fireworks, loud pops, beautiful colors, and would feel a surge of awe and love for this country we live in. And my husband did not want to give this neat little gift to our kids. Why? Because I did want to, and it was a control thing. Maybe...who knows.

Sorry for the ranting, illogical progression of my thoughts. This whole thread has been a stream of consciousness of sorts for me, so it is illogical and disorganized by that fact alone.

Am I left to feel isolated? Lonely. On the brink of rejection. On the brink of not being good enough to "earn" and "keep" that intimacy I need so much?

Hurting. Not for the WH this man is. Not really for this marriage. It is over and I can accept that. Really, mostly hurting because I am feeling some feelings that I never wanted to feel, and would at all costs try to avoid in my life. Rejection. Abadonment. Betrayal. Isolation. And amazement that I gave access to a person parts of my soul that were so sacred, and he would not respect that. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Just wanted to let you know that there is always someone listening, no matter what time of day it is! My excuse: Im in the UK. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Your posts are inspirational and full of all the emotions you are going through. Even at your worst you still manage to portray a strong, intelligent woman with an excellent sense of humour who loves her family and essentially loves herself, even if she doesnt know it.

Enjoy the holiday today, hope you feel better soon.

Sending lots of love

S, I am in Toronto already and will stay till at least the end of the month. Will you be here?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />And who is the loser now. It is 4:30 in the am and here I am posting on the damn site....pathetic.<hr /></blockquote>Bah... been there, done that. No losers here. Just us... um, just us. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

My well of words is still dry today, I have nothing good to say. Down in the dumps, but trying not to wallow. At least the muck seems to be down around my waist and not up around my neck.

I envy your support group. X was my everything for the last 5 years and all the ties that were their before she came are gone. While she has her tird to cling to, I'm left treading water alone, and shore looks so far away.

Did you see that movie today? When did you ever sleep?!

Wish I could send you a hug to squeeze the hurt out. Always works for me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> People should hug more. Are you a hug person? I'm a little picky about who I'll hug, but it's oh so good when it happens. I'm raising little huggers. DD4 would hug a tree stump if she thought it looked sad.

And while I type this, you've gone and posted my encouragement on my journal! Have I thanked you lately for being so good to me?

Thank you!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Enough babbling for now, I'll come back when I have something good to say.

Darn...no...not this month. But, if you want to extend your stay to FL, come on over gal. I live in sunny Tampa, Florida...home of the Tampa Bay Bucs, Stanley Cup winning Bolts, some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, and a small house with two kids, a black mutt dog, and little ole me. We could tear up the town, two betrayed women, on a rampage, making all men pay. Or, we could catch a movie or visit the mall. Or we could stay in and watch movies. You are my sister, a sister in pain, and I would welcome you to my very small, very humble home with arms open.

[ July 05, 2004, 07:10 PM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

S, I am so blessed to have another sister. I will sure visit you. Maybe in the winter months when we have thick snow here. We will tear up the town. But we still can connect here.

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> And I know I pissed off KY and Robby with what I thought was a funny Nascar joke... <hr /></blockquote>Not true!

Ok, let’s try this one.

You know you’re a redneck if………..

…you think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

…you lose your camouflage truck.

…your richest uncle calls you and says he bought a new house and he wants you to come over and take the wheels off.

…you have to climb to the top of a water tower with a can of spray paint to protect your sisters honor.

Chirp, chirp, chirp….

Ok,

What are the last words that a redneck usually says before he dies?

"Hey y’all. Watch this!"

Nothing?

What do you call 28 rednecks in the same room?

Answer: A full set of teeth!!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

That is FUNNY. I am laughing out loud, almost lost my soy milk at my desk. My colleagues think I am crazy anyway!

I have been wanting a new MB friend to exchange jokes with. Thanks Robby!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You know you're a redneck when your stair master has an ashtray!

Dipi was that you that posted I was pissed at the Nascar joke.
Not true at all.

I never get pissed, it is a real problem for my therapist.

Hi Robby.

Yeah...I got the cricket brigade after my post about nascar on your thread...so I thought, oops, some hard core rednecks here, I better simmer down now!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hurting today.

Hurting. Hurting. Hurting. Need to rent titanic, saving private ryan, schlinder's list, and whatever other horrifying depressing movie I can find, and just cryyyyyyyy. I know, I will rent AI. I almost had a nervous breakdown when I saw that the first time. It brought back some horrifying adoption memories that damn near had me rocking in the fetal position, with a straight jacket, padded room in a looney bin, etc.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive).
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

AND the number 1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer is...

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Hurting today. <hr /></blockquote>me too!

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by SerendipiT:
 Hurting. Hurting. Hurting.<hr /></blockquote>(((((((((((((((((((Dipi))))))))))))))))))

Hard core rednecks, now I'm pi$$ed!!!!

I'll stand barefooted in my own front yard with a baby on my hip, I'm a redneck woman, I ain't no high class.........

I'm sorry your so down today DipiT, I have never seen AI. What about Armageddon? That is a tear jerker.

Sorry your down too Robby. You missed out on all the fun last night on the Jelly thread, CP and Dipi were out of control. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby...I am laughing, despite the pit in my stomach!

Thank you for that.

(((((((((((((((CP))))))))))))))

What's a Dipi do for a living anyhoo? <blockquote>quote:<hr />despite the pit in my stomach!<hr /></blockquote>Perhaps you are just hungry?! Did you have lunch? Was it good?

DipiT, I like the ring of this new name! Anyway, I was out of town so I missed your new state of mind. Darn, I was soooo envious of your MOJO! Here you were, the WH out of your life, and you feeling GREAT! Then there was ME, with the H STILL pining away for the conniving B, and I'm thinking, "I want to be where DipiT is at." Bottom line, what I've said all along, the aftermath of an A sucks no matter what state we are in.

Huge HUGS to you soul sister. Can I come visit you in Fla? I'm ready to blow out of this recovery game and just force H to go be with OW, even though he claims he doesn't want to be. Anyway, you know my thoughts and prayers are with you. You're incredible strength and humor WILL get you through this. I need to start hangin out again at GQll. I'm missing out on all the sick humor that's flying around here. I've got to start getting to know some of the new MBers who are rattling off these jokes. They are too funny!
Love Ya Girl! CV

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Ok...trying to focus on the positive here....

Um:

* Kids are funny as hell. Especially my ten year old. He and I have a standing joke that as long as I give him a great childhood, he will set me up in a posh nursing home when I get old, with a beefy nurse named "Sven." Last night he was trying to tell me he would help set me up with dates contigent on whether I buy him a gamecube or not. He already had his eye on a counselor at his YMCA day camp. I advised him the YMCA counselors are a tad too young for me (statutory rape, anyone). He said "Mom, this guys gotta be, geez, at least 45." I told him I was not ready for a boyfriend, and when I was, I would not be seeking his matchmaker skills. He seemed dissappointed...it is all about the gamecube. I love this kid. He makes me laugh all the time. He always rip on each other. And when I have to crack down on the discipline, I usually end it with "Chew just got SERVED" from that cheesy teen movie. We just laugh and laugh.

* I lost 5 pounds this week. Hell ya! Coming off finally. I was working out an hour in the am, an hour at lunch, and doing power yoga, followed by regular end of day yoga in the pm EVERYDAY. Plus, I was eating less than 1200 calories a day (IF I would eat that much) and nothing was happening for 2 weeks. Pissed me off. I finally bumped my calorie intake to around 1400 calories, and voila, lost 5 lbs this week. YAHOO! Only 35 or so to go.

* I don't miss my husband at all anymore. I can see him, exchange the kids, talk money, even went to the damn spiderman movie with him and the kids yesterday, and I felt nothing. No pain. No anger. Nada. The bank is finally empty and closed for business.

I am mostly hurting because I do not want to be single, dating, eating thanksgiving day TV dinners by myself, not married, divorced Mom of two. I am hurting because my vision of myself is changing, and I am being forced into a game, a lifestyle, an identity I did not want. And I am all about control, and I do not have any in this. I do not want that identity. But what choice do I have. And it is beyond my comprehension how my eyechart would have chosen this life.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I work in Advertising. I am the client relationship manager for a small branch in Tampa that is a part of an agency that has international offices.

A little Advertising humor is as follows:

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. You go up to her and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's Direct Marketing.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. You approach her to get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's Telemarketing.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. Your friend goes to her and says, "Hi, my friend over there is fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's Advertising.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. You get up, straighten your clothes, approach her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after it drops, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. She comes over and says, "Hi, I hear you're fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's the power of Branding! <hr /></blockquote>

CV:

Hi, sista! Yeah, well, I changed my screen name from Christy to dipi, well, because I did not want STBXBFLWH to know I was in full force on the board, telling all his sordid secrets, but I should have know that he would never be on a MARRIAGE BUILDERS site. He is spending all his time on marriage tear-downers.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />
Then there was ME, with the H STILL pining away for the conniving B, and I'm thinking, "I want to be where DipiT is at." Bottom line, what I've said all along, the aftermath of an A sucks no matter what state we are in. <hr /></blockquote>Girl...true nuff! I cannot even fathom where you are at. I don't think I would have handled well my WH crying day after day after day after hellacious day for that cruel, heartless, careless, homewrecking....nifty pen pal that my husband now says she is!

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Can I come visit you in Fla? I'm ready to blow out of this recovery game and just force H to go be with OW, even though he claims he doesn't want to be. <hr /></blockquote>You are more than welcome to come chill with me in Tampa. We got museums, great night spots, the aquarium, busch gardens, awesome beaches, and all I got to say is, tequilla sunrises are my signature drink! But you can only come if you DON'T tell your H to go blow it out his [censored]. And maybe he should come with you.

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I'm missing out on all the sick humor that's flying around here. I've got to start getting to know some of the new MBers who are rattling off these jokes. They are too funny! <hr /></blockquote>Sick horny humor. YIKES!!!

CV-

DipiT is right, but there are a few more things you should know about Florida before you book your trip...

Florida State Mottos

FLORIDA: If you think we can't vote, wait till you see us drive.

FLORIDA: We count more than you do.

FLORIDA: If you don't like the way we count then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states.

FLORIDA: We've been Gored by the bull of politics and we're Bushed.

FLORIDA: Relax...Retire...ReVote.

FLORIDA: What comes after 17,311?

FLORIDA: Where your vote counts...and counts...and counts...

FLORIDA: We don't just cheat in football.

FLORIDA: We're number one! Wait! Recount!

Palm Beach County: So nice, we let you vote twice.

Palm Beach County: We put the "duh" in Florida.

FLORIDA: Home of electile dysfunction.

FLORIDA: This isn't good when Alabama counts faster than us!

FLORIDA: Once is never enough!

FLORIDA: We would do a recount but we've run out of fingers and toes!

FLORIDA: Don't blame me, I voted for Gore, I think.

FLORIDA: Don't blame me, my vote didn't count.

FLORIDA: We're retired --no wait-- we're retarded!

FLORIDA: Don't count on us!

FLORIDA: Home of the edible chad.

FLORIDA: Bumbling better than ever!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

DipiT, there ain't no way H is coming to Fla if I come a visiting. That boy is staying home! Although he has stopped long ago crying and waking up with panic attacks, oh that was SUCH a fun time during this withdrawal, the little "B" is still in our M. Not physically, but still in H's mind. Yuck, Gag, and puke!!! Last night for the thousandth time I told him to just go be with her if she was so friggin wonderful. Gee, how many times have I reported that comment? Am I about the worst MBer you have ever seen? I want to force H out even when he doesn't want to go. My patience for the "at least 3 to 6 months" of withdrawal is not exactly great. So please, don't mention H again in regards to a trip. I think all of us MBers should go on a cruise. If some of us happen to still have their WSs around, they MUST stay home! I'm planning the DA*** cruise, and that's MY rule!

Now, as far as your life not being what you pictured, I totally get it. Granted at the moment our lives aren't mirrowing each other. My H is still in the M picture. But as I told my shrink this morning, I'm not even close to the acceptance stage. SH&&, it's only been how many months? I really didn't plan on being married to a man who decimated my life. I really wasn't planning on my H "F"ing another woman for around 6 or 7 months while I was totally sexually frustrated. Nope, didn't plan on that! I sure as hell never pictured myself going out to dinner with H and talking about his mistress. Yeh, this is definitely Twighlite Zone material here.

At some point we all have to get to that acceptance place. What is so incredibly hard for us BSs is that our lives took this turn and it had nothing to do with our choices. We were put into this hell because the person we loved chose to be an unconscious A%%. Gee, I'm not feeling angry today, am I?

Hang in their Girl! And Robby, thanks for the additional jokes. I got a good laugh is spite of my very black hearted mood. CV

Your welcome CV.

And THANK YOU, you've helped my self worth today... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Things Rednecks Will Never Say

I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Duct tape won't fix that.
Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
Wrestling's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my gut is too big?
I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, we don't need another dog.
Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Checkmate.
She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
You ALL.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.

Thought it was time you had some international jokes...

We dont have rednecks in the UK, but we do have Scousers: ie from Liverpool.

What do you call a scouser in a suit? The accused.

What do you call a scouser in a white shellsuit? The bride.

We also tell a lot of football jokes.

You'll never guess what just landed in my back garden! David Beckham's penalty!

Anyway, apologies to all, Im off to the pub.

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> You'll never guess what just landed in my back garden! David Beckham's penalty!
<hr /></blockquote>Curious to see if anyone gets this besides me.....

I've already made plans to go to Germany in '06 to see Team USA run roughshod over the rest of the xxxxfootballxxxx soccer playing world......

Ethan

Robby: You are I are going to FIGHT! It is not my fault a bunch of blue hairs in Palm Beach, I mean God's waiting room, had to *' up the election. DO NOT GO THERE!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I did laugh my [censored] off though. And the additional redneck jokes...classic.

CV: Cruise it is. To hell with Florida! CV, we will get all liquered up and go on a cruise. In fact, I am planning on joining a friend on a 7-day cruise in November. Once I get the details, I will share it with you. But aren't you afraid to leave ***edit*** at home alone. I guess I would be in fear of becoming super controling in your situation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Got the soccer jokes. Although, I am instantly irritated. STBXBFLWH went and saw that movie "Bend it like beckham" with his Indian girlfriend, and even had the***edit*** to rent it for our family to watch before d-day. UUGGGGHHHH! Too bad, too. Because David Beckham is beyond FINE, and he kinda ruined it for me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[ July 06, 2004, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]

DipiT-

A night out dancing with CV at channelside followed by a cruise would cheer you both up! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Maybe you can be the MB cruise director! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I am quite familiar with channleside, spent many a night partying it up there, in fact, was there when we won one of the stanley cup final games while the team was away at Calgary (the Forum is right next door).

Fun fun fun fun fun fun.

Is this a girl only cruise? Or can us blokes tag along? Theres gotta be a cocktail and a lounge chair somewhere in this world waiting for me, I just know it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Robby, glad I did something for your self-worth, although I'm not sure what the heck I said. What I wrote sure didn't sound too uplifting to me. And by the way, I've gotten some good crap at Walmart!

DipiT, H asked me to go to a business conference in November. Maybe if I play my cards right I will have shoved him back into OW's loving arms by then. Then we can PARRRRRTTTTTTYYYYYY!!!!!

As far as being nervous about leaving him alone, I don't know. Maybe I would be. However, I am a strange BS. I'm not checking cell phone bills, and I barely check his e-mail. If he "F"s me over again that's it. If I feel the gut thing this time I will be doing heavyduty checking immediately. I just figure if he wants to talk to her there is a million ways to accomplish that goal, whether I'm in town or not.

Signing off for now! Hope while I'm gone more humor is shared on this thread, cause we all could use some. CV

CP:Blokes permitted...why not.

Maybe we should even bring along a moderator or two to keep us out of trouble. Any takers. Ark? Melody? Orchid? Redhat?

CV: Maybe we can push it back a bit...I gotta meet my soul sister!

Lostnhurt: Won't you come along?

Ahaaaaa....happy again. In my element. Planning a PAAAARRRRRRTTTTY!!! Woohoo!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> And Robby, thanks for the additional jokes. I got a good laugh is spite of my very black hearted mood. <hr /></blockquote>It just makes me feel good to make someone laugh. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Self worth a bit ragged after A. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

[ July 06, 2004, 08:21 PM: Message edited by: robby13 ]

A ventriloquist was making fun of rednecks with his dummy at a bar. Then an angry redneck stood up, rolled up his sleeves ,and yelled, "I resent that!"
The ventriloquist started apologizing to the redreck.
The redneck looked at him and said, " You stay outta this, I''m talking to the guy on your lap!!!!

What do a Redneck divorcee and a Tornado have in common?
---either way, you're gonna lose your trailer...

What's the diff between a Yankee and Southern Zoo?
On a Yankee zoo cage it shows animal and scientific name in Latin.
On a Southern zoo it has name of the animal & the recipe...

The ultimate redneck pickup line?
-- Nice tooth...

Definitely the men here are very welcome to come on the cruise. FWSs are welcome to come too. This is where I draw the line. Absolutely NO WSs or fogged out FWSs. Sorry! They've got to find their own vacation. No disrespect or snottiness intended. However, if I'm gonna be cruisin, I don't want any fogged out people spoiling my view of the deep blue sea.

DipiT, I'm glad you're feeling happy again. I thought of this cruise fantasy months ago, when I was in one of my lowest places. I almost started a thread on it. I knew it would pop up at some point. You might be right about those moderators coming along though. I hate to say it, but there could be the dangerous possibility of some revenge As happening. What do you think? A bunch of BSs, pissed as HE** at their Ss, on a cruise with members of the opposite sex, totally getting where each other are at, drinking those margaritas (tequila has gotten me in some trouble before. No, not anything kinky here. Just a major hangover with spinning)...Yep, we better bring some of these moderators along. Somehow I don't think the Harley's would think the cruise would be such a good idea. I think Steve would say we wouldn't be protecting our weaknesses.

Oh well, all the men here are too young for me anyway. I'll be the old lady on the cruise. Of course H's OW was 20 yrs. younger than him. Things are changing. Maybe if H and I break up I could find myself a nice 30something man to hang with.

OK, I better stop now. My fantasy is getting WAAAAYYYY out of hand here. The moderators are going to ban me from the cruise and this MB site for being a bad influence. CV

Morning all...while the cruise fantasy provided some break from the hurt, I am hurting again.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> hurting hurting hurting <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Meet with STBXBFLWH tonight to go through paperwork, next steps, etc. on our divorce. Kinda relieved about this in fact. Not my source of hurting. Source of hurting the continued struggle with an identity crisis. Coming to terms with the deafening silence of my sometimes empty home, and the lonliness that comes with that.

STBXBFLWH calls me constantly now. Emails me stupid inconsequential stuff. This is not a ploy to salvage our dead marriage (which at this point would take a heart and brain transplant to revive), but as an attempt to be the "good guy." WH's main goal in life is not to seem the *******. He hates people to be mad at him, to think him a jerk, etc. So now that I am talking to him again, quite amicably, in fact, because, well, that is who I am, a funny, nice, amicable person, he thinks he is freed from ******* of the year status. So he calls to ask stupid questions about the D. Questions about the paperwork, when we are going to meet to go over it. I went to the movies with him and the kids on Monday. He asked me to the fireworks show with the kids Sunday, but I declined. He tells me stories of a divorce story he read in Maxim magazine (ohhh yeah, I really care what the porn magazine says about post divorce life) of a couple who divorced, but remained best friends for the kids, etc. I know it did seem to help the kids that we saw spiderman together, but, I am not going to be calling up [censored] to go have drinks or something. Confiding in him about life. Hearing him talk about his love interests. VOMIT.

Anyways, he was calling me yesterday to talk about the D, and we talked for a few minutes. I was rushing him off the phone, because it was a dumb conversation and I was not really interested in chatting with him during my spare time. Beside, a girlfriend was calling on the other line, and I would much rather talk to her. And when he hung up, out of force of habit, he said "Ok, love you, bye." Which is how we hung up all the time before. I just hung up. This did not hurt me, really, it just angered me. Because he thinks he had once again reached this area of familiarity with me, where he can forget what the hell he has done, and make stupid stupid little mistakes like that. He has elephantitis of the balls. I do not know how he does not walk bow-legged, his balls are so big. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Anyways, how should I handle this now. Yes, now I am asking for advice. I do not know if it is mine to seek since I am seeking to no longer build my marriage, and this is, after all, the Marriage Builders site. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I think I've put my finger on what we've got Dipi, it's called DOOM!. The future is lost and there is an a sense of impending disaster, and it hurts!

My D came swift like the drop of a guillotine. So I can't help you there, but I don't think you're wrong to seek advice here. Part of the MB process is protecting yourself when the M does collapse.

Hope you have a better rest of your day, maybe I'll come up with a joke to tell later.

Have fun "relating" to you "clients" today. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> hurting hurting hurting <hr /></blockquote>and raining too!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Anyways, how should I handle this now. <hr /></blockquote>I don't have a clue! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> You say you're not working on your M anymore so why would a "slip up" bother you? Chalk it up as an old habit popping up at an inopportune time... unless...

______
]*****\
]*******\
]*********\
]***DipiT***\
]*********/
]********/
]*******/
---------

I've built Fort DipiT. It is full of mojo, MBers and of course you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> (That's you in the middle)

Fort DipiT can help you with all your problems.

Oh, yeah, you may not be able to see it in the blueprint, but Fort DipiT has a retractable roof... no rain! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

CP: I will not agree with Doom, per say, CP. I guess my little idealistic, romantic heart won't let me buy that. But I will partially buy " The future is lost and there is an a sense of impending disaster, and it hurts!" I would rework that to say, however, "The future is unclear, and there is a sense of impending uncertainty, and it hurts!"

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Have fun "relating" to your "clients" today. <hr /></blockquote>I do have fun relating to them. Fortunately, I have developed quite a "brand" for myself (please refer to advertising joke from yesterday). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby:
<blockquote>quote:<hr /> You say you're not working on your M anymore so why would a "slip up" bother you? Chalk it up as an old habit popping up at an inopportune time <hr /></blockquote>You are not mad that I am not working on my marriage anymore, are you? I feel sometimes guilty about that fact, especially since I am on the damn marriage builders site. I even tried to go over to the divorce boards, but, the folks over there are not quite as wacky...but then again, I have not spent a lot of time with them either.

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I've built Fort DipiT. It is full of mojo, MBers and of course you! (That's you in the middle). Fort DipiT can help you with all your problems. Oh, yeah, you may not be able to see it in the blueprint, but Fort DipiT has a retractable roof... no rain! <hr /></blockquote>Awwww....Robby, that is sooooo sweet. And you even engineered in a retractable roof. Seriously, I am not being a smart alec. Thank you. What a sweet gesture!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> You are not mad that I am not working on my marriage anymore, are you? <hr /></blockquote>Heck no! I'm not mad! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I was just trying to flush out any hint of hope you may have had.

Your

FP
TOZ
LPED
PECFD
EDFCZF
FELOPZD
DEFPOTEC
LEFODPCT H seems to be busy knitting fog.

I'm hungry!

So you like Fort DipiT? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The defenses and support are strong but you'll have to do the interior design! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

What a poignant and profound comment about doing the interior. You could not be more right. I need to do the insides...my heart.

I need to change the title of this thread...do not feel very mojoed.

Austin Powers: Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding

DipiT-

Where'd ya go?

Finding your mojo I hope!

I thought I'd try to cheer you up by showing you a picture of my Redneck Dog and my Redneck Baby!

Baby's first picture!

What do you think?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Hahahahahahahahahahaha...LOL!!!

Dude...you are messed up. Especially on the baby front. And here I was thinking I was actually going to lay eyes on your precious little baby! And, I was getting excited thinking you had a weimereiner (sp).

My boyfriend in high school had a weimereiner (however the hell you spell that). And he was a first class redneck. He wanted to be a forest ranger when he grew up, but ended up being the deli manager at the local grocery instead. He cheated on me during my Senior year of high school (I am detecting a trend here) and although I was devestated, I dumped his [censored] like yesterdays trash.

Memories. Ahhhhh. He loved journey. To this day I cringe when I hear Steve Perry.

Anyways, that is funny as hell.

And the closest thing to mojo I have found in the last hour is a diet dr. pepper.

Do you feel randy baby? Well, do ya?

Hey there, sorry to but in on your conversation here but the redneck talk made me laugh… and remember something I saw on the news last night. Now I live in Minnesota… not someplace particularly known for fostering rednecks… but we do, oh do we!!! Well, I was watching the news and they did a story on how this family lost their mobile home trailer to a fire because they believe something ignited the mattress they had stored under the front porch! They showed the fire marshal for the town they are in (east central MN) and he was saying they think it was a stray firework that may have done lit the mattress on fire. The fire marshal even had a mullet!!!! The reporter ended the story saying the family planned on rebuilding in the same site. I started laughing my @ss off!!! It took a couple of minutes to fully comprehend what I had just seen and heard… but wow… all I could hear in my inner monologue was Jeff Foxworthy saying the following (in my best Georgian accent):

If your trailer home burned to the ground because a stray firecracker ignited the mattress you store under your porch…. You might be a redneck.

You just can’t make it up fast enough I guess…

DipiT, the MB site is about people like all of us trying to save our Ms in the midst of terrible pain. You have worked as hard as anyone I've seen on this site try to save your M, in spite of your dumbA$$ H's intense stupidity. OK, my black hearted, vengeful soul is showing again. I am just sooooo sick of the fogged out WSs. Anywho, the thing is this site is also about recovery, our recovery, and sometimes the recovery of our M. If my M doesn't make it I hope I don't have to leave this site. Look at Redhat. He got "D"ed but how many folks has he helped?

So you better not feel any guilt Girl! And you better not leave because then I won't have anyone to mock my H out with.I do hope the man never reads my posts! CV

I am with you also dipiT. This road sucks and the mojo goes quick. I am not sure what my exact position in our M is at the moment. I think I am the old fall back right now. Gosh that sucks. I would rather be alone than have that title. This thread is funny.

HINY

HINY: I often thought, back when I actually wanted WH to come home, if I could handle all the baloney that comes with that situation. Basically, it is trauma, adjustment, pain and uncertainty no matter which path is chosen.

My heart goes out to you!

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* |>>> +[/code]</blockquote>It's got a moat and everything. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

CP: Holy Smoly!!!!! That is freaking IMPRESSIVE!!!!!!!!!!!! SHEEZ!!!!!

Now I really really really really really feel like a special princess!

How cool is that.

Thanks.

I think I feel some MOJO headed back my way after all!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Ok, ok...

It wasn't my baby.

But I took a pic of him taking a bath last night! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I challenge you to actually pony up a legit pic of the baby. YOU FREAK!!!

I'm actually putting the finishing touches on a flash photo album w/music.

I need to talk to W about it before I publish it though.

Will probably want pics of baby on a secure server.

I'll let you know! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

How yew doin'?(like joey)

today?

Doing Ok. Actually getting involved with some fun work the next couple of weeks. A lot of client CONTACT is going to happen, and that always makes me happy...much better than being holed up in the office. The social butterfly I am!!

STBXBFLWH canceled our "divorce talk" meeting last night, some lame excuse about schedules. Not sure what the game of the day is now...just deciding to NOT read so much into everything. I personally think he is stalling because the finality of the divorce will mean financial DESTRUCTION for him. He has not paid a DIME toward child support since he left in early March. He pays all of $250 mth for childcare, which is not even a third of what would normally be his child support obligation. Fortunately, I make a decent living and do not really need it, but it is starting to get a little financially tight. So he is stalling, so he doesn't have to PAY. That is my take, anyway.

Anyhoo...how are you today? Besides fort and sport areana construction, what do you do for a livin.

Sorry to hear about your

FP
TOZ
LPED
PECFD
EDFCZF
FELOPZD
DEFPOTEC
LEFODPCT H…Did you get that joke yesterday??

I’m doing ok today…

I lead a comprehensive wealth management team that specializes in providing customized solutions to high-net-worth individuals and their families.

My elevator speech.. You like?

Also do some web consultation work.
I’m hungry need to go eat!

Oh yeah, I hate being cooped up in the office!!

I did get it...and laughed out loud. But then again, loud laughter, snorts, almost losing my diet dr. pepper out of my nose, and weird and wacky comments has come to be commonplace at my place of work (just as you would imagine from an ad agency...crazy, zany, creative, arty folks). In fact, I was just having a conversation with some of my employees on how we need to REIGN it in a bit. It's fun though!

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I lead a comprehensive wealth management team that specializes in providing customized solutions to high-net-worth individuals and their families.
My elevator speech.. You like? <hr /></blockquote>Yes I do like. My official elevator speech is "I manage an account service team at a prominent national advertising agency that specializes in recruitment marketing and staffing solutions."

Does yours translate to Financial Planner for rich folks? My WH was a Financial Planner to not so rich folks, and that was when we almost went bankrupt (he was living like he made a 7-figure salary, and we were basically living off of my salary, which, well, doesn't support a 7-figure lifestyle). This lovely time was during the premature birth of my second child, who was 8 weeks early, and did I mention WH was working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day ("that is when the client's need to see you").

Come to think of it, I wonder if WH had an affair then, too. Ahhhhh...Sigh...all the pleasant memories. Just makes me want to GUSH! Or puke. Not sure which.

Come to think of it, is a wonder I did not have an A. Oh wait, aside from that small fact, that I am a MORAL WOMAN and would dump his [censored] before I would do that!!!! Right. That little differentiating factor.

No... I do not sound bitter. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Does yours translate to Financial Planner for rich folks? <hr /></blockquote>I dunno? I hope so! Need a new job though… theses mergers are killing me!!

<blockquote>quote:<hr />and did I mention WH was working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day ("that is when the client's need to see you"). <hr /></blockquote>Clients hardly ever want to meet on weekends… Unless you’re entertaining them at the Masters.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Just makes me want to GUSH! Or puke. <hr /></blockquote>PUKE!

PUKE!

PUKE!

How ‘bout some more ascii art?

<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;"> \\////// _______________
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Robby:
You need to sell a mutual fund, VUL policy, some stock or something. All this ascii art makes me think you have WAY too much time on your hands. JJ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

In all actuality, I am thankful you are being my MB buddy today. Seriously...thank you.

Where the hell is CP?

CV, you little spitfire, are you around??

<blockquote>quote:<hr />In all actuality, I am thankful you are being my MB buddy today. Seriously...thank you.

Where the hell is CP?

CV, you little spitfire, are you around??
<hr /></blockquote>Ok, maybe it wasn't supposed to, but this made me laugh out loud!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Wow, did I miss all the fun here? Robby, your art is really cute. S, I miss you, my sis.

Robby: 'Ey. Am I f*&#ing funny. Do I make yew laugh? What am I, a f*&#ing joke. Am I 'ere to amuse yew?

I was being serious... thanks for shooting the, well, er, umm, you know what with me today.

Lost: I miss you too, girl! Hope you are doing ok! Yes, my thread has morphed into some sort of weird mojo, maybe more like acid, trip. Who'd have thunk it.

Looked over the threads and sounds like we got a little too wild for our friends on MB. I understand how that goes. I was part of that too, so for that, I truly apologize. This board does offer somewhat of an element of anonymity, and with that, I think people, especially hurting people, can tend to want to vent, connect, and let loose in ways that may sometimes get out of hand. Again, I regret if any of my posts were too bawdy, negative, or off color for others on the site.

I have been thinking an awful lot about my usefulness on these particular pages of the site, anyway, and have mentioned it a couple of times. Since I am finally at a place of peace with the death of my marriage, it is bound to make those who are fiercely fighting to keep theirs uncomfortable. In fact, when I was in that spot some short months ago, I remember how negative and embittered the ones who had had enough sounded to me. I wanted to YELL that they needed to suck it up and stick it out for longer. And I guess one can never know what it feels like to WANT to move on at a point until they are there. So again, I apologize if my posts sound negative, or strictly COUNTER to the whole MB ideology.

Wish you all the best of luck, truly.

DipiT-

Please tell me you are not leaving...

You are needed...

More than you know...

This is starting to feel like The Sneetches... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

OK, my little spitfire self is back. Would you pleeeeaaassse stop apologizing. Your posts are no worse than all the whining I've done these pasts months about my H who pretty much dumped OW right off the bat. In spite of my (good fortune?) I seem to suggest every couple of days that maybe he would be better off with OW. Yeh, I'm really good at MB! In fact, on my walk with H tonight I slipped in another comment like that. He was kidding with me. Saying how for a 53 yr. old man he's got a lot of energy, and went into our SF in the middle of the night, working all day, our walk, etc. I, on the other hand, was feeling kind of tired. So what do I say? "Since you have such great stamina maybe you would be better off with the younger OW." I swear, sometimes I think I am trying to get rid of this man. So whenever you think you are being a bad influence, think of me and you'll feel better.

DipiT, no matter what the outcome of our Ms are, the journey is difficult. If we end up staying in our Ms we have years of recovery to look forward to. If it doesn't work out, we are in your shoes, mourning the end of our M and the identity we had. None of it is easy. All I know is you have supported me from the moment we connected with our humor, and you better not go away Girl! I love the silly, funny sh&& on MB, because sometimes reading all of the new posts are soooo sad. I hate As. I've come to really see the evil in them. So we need to laugh too. Hang tough! CV

Not leaving...just CHILLING out. I feel just terrible that others were complaining. Must be my intense need for approval. And my being able to admit now how much I got out of hand. UGH.

I went to church tonight. Now I am HURTING! HURTING! HURTING!

Hurting because I know I have turned away from God.

Hurting because I feel my belief in Him will directly correlate to my belief in the possible reconciliation and healing of my marriage. And I am too afraid and too hurt and too dead inside to ever want to believe in that again. But I cannot understand how I would possibly separate the two. Either you believe that God can do all things, knows the deep down desires of your heart, and wants to honor them in direct correlation to your faith and righteousness, or you don't. And deep deep down, I want a miracle. I want my husband back. The one who told me how I was his soulmate on a daily basis. The one who could make me laugh. The one who thought of others first instead of himself. But I don't know if that man exists anymore, or really ever did. So how can I hope and pray and faithfully expect a answered prayer for something that was probably a lie. If he did come back, I would have to fervently pray that God would teach me how to love WH again. Because right now, I do not have that for him. But I would try, for my kids.

I feel like God ditched me. I believed. I believed so hard. I was so close to Christ. I was holding onto every single breath He sighed out. I was clutching white knuckled to God. And as I believed in Him more and more and more, my family was more and more and more brutalized, destroyed, and hurt. It almost seems as if the more I have taken a step back, the better my home situation has become. The less we are all hurting. How can that be?

I realize I am a selfish brat. How many people are out there living totally outside of God's grace, without clothes, or resources, or freedom, or food, or their health, or anything else that I take for granted on a daily basis.

I realize I am living in total rebellion. My goal should be on humbly serving God, not crying over unanswered prayers.

And I pray now for the patience to see God's plan for my life....whatever that is. I have a wonderful knack of screwing up His divine plans for me. I am a terrible child.

Feel mad. Lost. Bitter.

Not sure what bible verse it is, but I KNOW my heart is being hardened. Don't really want to love again.

Man...big departure from my initial post on this thread. Ironic.

Probably just need to get some sleep, and try to be less dramatic! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I'm ignoring this post.

Read it again in the morning.

It's 81 degrees right now in your city.

Maybe it's the heat... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

It is hot. A precursor to hell. Ha.

I have been accused on more than one occasion for being a little overly dramatic.

Good night.

DipiT, you are being way too hard on yourself. And who was complaining? I missed all of that.

You are grieving. Let yourself grieve. You aren't being a selfish brat, you are being human. You are a woman who did everything in her power to save her M. The one thing we don't have the power over is another person's choices, and God doesn't step into that area either. That is why my prayer over these months went from asking God to save my M, to save it God if it is your will.

Christy, I don't know what the heck happened to your H's soul. He will have to deal with that at the end of the day. I do know that you never lost your soul, your integrity, your goodness. Someone on here about a month ago, when I was really grieving the loss of my old M, not sure if I wanted to be "M"ed or not, told me, "In 2 years, whether you are "M"ed or not, you won't be in the same place you are today." That was a very comforting thought. You will recover from this hell. You WILL be in a better, happier place. But for now, allow yourself time to grieve. How many times over these months did I type while sobbing at the same time? As are devestating, and they do decimate our lives. You deserve to cry.
Sending you love and hugs! CV

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by SerendipiT:
Not leaving...just CHILLING out. I feel just terrible that others were complaining. Must be my intense need for approval. And my being able to admit now how much I got out of hand. UGH.<hr /></blockquote>Seems all of my MB friends are "chilling", so I suppose I will too. I hope to stay in touch though. Drop me a line at mbcellophane@yahoo.com some time.

Oh, and I agree with CV, you're being a bit hard on yourself about some of this.

[ July 09, 2004, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: cellophane ]

Maybe I am meant to be alone. Maybe I am in this situation not only because of the piss poor choices my WH made, but because I am someone who is hard to stick with.

Just noticing some patterns in my life that are hard to overlook.

I like being hard on myself.

So sunshiny today! Cheer up! I'm actually in a decent mood today, despite the mass exodus here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by SerendipiT:
 Maybe I am meant to be alone.<hr /></blockquote>Loveable, cuddly, horny you?! Somehow I doubt it.
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by SerendipiT:
Just noticing some patterns in my life that are hard to overlook.<hr /></blockquote>Sounds juicy. Anything you can share? <blockquote>quote:<hr />I like being hard on myself. <hr /></blockquote>Not gonna touch this one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Wink wink, nudge nudge, is what got us in trouble, no?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Maybe I am meant to be alone. <hr /></blockquote>Yeah, Ok, you're like the anaconda, or Pygmy Hippopotamus... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Where were you today??

ALONE?!?

Ha! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Ok....angry vent follows...that is my disclaimer so as to NOT offend sensitive eyes. There is always a "back" button on the good ole browser, ya know.

1.) WH has been stalking me. He calls me 14 times a day now. I am tired of it. Basically, he misses the companionship and sense of humor and warmth that I brough to his life, but doesn't miss it enough to end his affair (or physical/emotional, I mean neat pen pal relationship, as he refers to it). Basically, I am in that dreaded hell of "Can't we just be friends?" Well, part of me thinks this sounds really nifty, because I do want to have much more either, and the kids would benefit if I did not HATE him, however, part of me wants to tell him to go to hell. Where oh where did my Plan B go??????????

Anyway, he called me today to ask me....drum roll please.....

if I will review his resume. In my line of work, I do a mean resume. Sure thing. No problem. Anything for you. But then, after all, everything is about you, right??? You and your needs. Gotta make sure they are being met. To heck with everyone else. My needs, to not have you be an extension of my own rear, my kids needs, to not have you tear up their family.

2.) Asked WH for some cash Wednesday. Firstly, because I needed it and he has contributed NEXT to nothing since he left, and secondly, well, did I mention he has contributed nothing since he left. And I am, quite simply, tired of having my lifestyle cramped because of his poor choices. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Well, he cancelled our meeting on Wednesday night where we were supposed to discuss this, and go over the final paperwork so we could file the D, due to "work" conflicts, which, whatever, he is a self admitted habitual liar, so who knows. I promptly followed via email to say, nice we are not meeting, but you still gotta SHOW ME THE MONEYYYYYYYYY.

So, I decided to drop it on Thursday, and go again for blood today. To my surprise, when dropped the kids off last night, he did pony up, but not as much as I asked (and well, I did not ask for much, so whatever). A shocker, but then again, not a shocker. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

3.) Got up at the crack of dawn to drive to Brooksville, Florida, the redneck capital of the world, in case you are wondering, for a client appointment. My out of town colleague I was meeting there was a slacker. Late. Presentation materials were half [censored], and he made me look bad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

4.) Get back in the office (when by all rights, I should gone home, since it was already 4pm when I got back in, and had started the day so early, but I am a committed, hard working employee). When I got here, a client situation had blown up. Thing was, I had gone way above and beyond the call of duty for this client, and had all the documentation to prove it, but since I was out of pocket, the colleague, and indirect competitor that fielded the call, told everyone I must have dropped the ball, which I did not do, and once I got back, I came into a dozen real snippy emails from my management team asking how could I f up so bad. This hurt because I DID NOT mess up, so I had to go back and legitimize, provide a time line for, and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I delivered at a superachiever level hardly ever reached in my business. So my colleague that threw me under the bus was pissed, because I in turn made her look stupid, so she got her panties in a wad, and then I got addressed for being too direct and defensive to her. Oh, I'm sorry. That really entry-level mistake that she was accusing me of, that I would have NEVER committed, that I probably NEVER did here, let alone the fact that I am a seasoned, tenured, management level employee, and she is not, well so sorry that I was offended that she claimed I would not have adequately served the client, and that all you yahoos did not give me the benefit of the doubt and speak with me before you fired off a bunch of insulting emails. But because everyone is so proud around here, no one apologized to me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I have a serious case of PMS...and am ready to kill someone. God forbid WTBXBFLAHLWH calls.....

Gotta go, will finish venting later!

Wow....ok, some deep breaths may be of order here.... in....and out, breathe in .......and out...

Ok...look admittedly I haven't read the bulk of this thread... just the opening posts and the last page and a half. But wow, what the hell happened here? I've only talked with you a few times and you seem like this totally wonderful, funny, super woman... what in the world makes you think you are menat to be alone???? Sweetheart, if you are half as good looking as a salamander... any man would have to be STUPID not to snap you up in a heartbeat!!!

So...what gives???? What, your gonna let this one guy (WH) dictate your happiness for you? Ok... I understand, PMS... got it and keeping out of arms reach... and I know, still grieving the apperant loss of the M... all totally normal and understandable. So why are you so hard on yourself here...??? Hmmmmm....????

Lighten up already...It's FRIDAY!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Ok...now you are going to know I have PMS. It will be evidenced by the seemingly bipolar differences in mood literally from moment to moment. And this thread, let it serve as a written document, proving the psychotic behavior all you men have been talking about for years, that has remained unproven, kinda like how much it hurts to get hit in the jewels.

I am actually enjoying my evening. My kids make me laugh so so so so so so so so hard. Seriously. My ten year old is funny as hell. FUNNY AS HELL!!! The stuff he comes up with is like Chris Rock material. And trust me, I am a super conservative parent. I mean...no cursing. No movies rated higher than PG 13, WHEN and IF I am being nice and allowing PG 13 movies at all. Only Christian music in the car. NO sordid conversations in front of him. Church 3 times a week. Goes to the adademically advanced Math and Science magnet school. Kid lives a conservative life. I mean conservative. But when you are Eddie Murphy, I guess you are Eddie Murphy. Stuff he came up with tonight alone, in the last hour:

J: "Mom. I think our dog is gay. She keeps smelling your butt. YIKES."

Me: "Eat your broccoli"
J: "Mom. Remember what I told you about who has control over the nursing home. Don't make a decision that you will regret later. It is like you tell me Mom, it only takes one little poor choice, and before you know it, you are living in a dark, roach infested nursing home, with some pervert as your bed nurse. Besides, you don't want to live with DAD when you get old do you???"
ME: "Why would your Dad be there?"
J: Matter of factly "Mom, he has already earned himself a first class ticket to old people hell...and there is not much short of a miracle that will get him out of there. Do you REALLY want to join him? Forced broccoli eating may not equal leaving the family, but it is close."

J: All thoughtfully, on drive home tonight "Mom? Why do you think Mr. T is called Mr. T. Why not Mr. M, Mr. X? Perhaps because his hair looks like a T?"
Me: "Dude. Who knows. And his hair doesn't look like a T, he has a mohawk."
J: "Maybe because he has a GOOOO-TEEEE. Get it? There's the T..."

What the ????

Me: On the toilet, taking care of totally normal bodily functions, NOBODY better complain about this one, get a grip.
J: "Mom, what are you doing?"
Me: "Inventing a new energy source, that can also aide in time travel. What do you think? Get out. Can I have some privacy pleassseeee?"
J: "Dude. WHAT THE...Jeesh Mom. YOU ARE NOT RIGHT. Have you upped your daily dietary fiber intake, or did someone die in there?"
ME: Trying not to laugh "GETTT OUT NOW."
J: "Seriously. You are not really going to have to convince me to leave the chamber of stink."
Me: SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

J: "Mom. I thought I should be honest with you about the lunch situation. Each day you make me a ham sandwich. You include a drink, chips and a sweet snack, like cookies or a swiss roll or something. You also throw in a healthy snack, like raisins, or dried cranberries or nuts or something"
Me: "Right. How well I know. I pack it everyday. What is your point?"
J: "Well, the way I see it, we can go on in two ways. You can keep delluding yourself that I will actually eat the ham sandwich and raisins, or your can accept the facts that I simply guzzle down the gatorade, con some kid out of their soda, eat the chips, and finish getting hopped up on sugar with the sweet snack, and I pitch the rest. So why not save yourself the trouble, and just pack the stuff I will actually eat?"
Me: "I could elliminate the other items, and JUST pack the healthy stuff. How is that for ANOTHER option."
J: "Mom, have I mentioned the nursing home options. It only takes one small wrong choice, and you are playing checkers in a hospital gown by a flickering overhead flourescent light WITH DAD."

Funny as hell! Seriously.

Another thing to be HAPPY about.

I have THREE boys writing me pep talks on this thread. Count em. Robby (my retractable roof, financial planner to the rich, pygmy hippopotumus biologist friend), CP (my deviant plastic wrap fetish, scorpion poison drinking, bad boy get banned from MB friend), and my new friend, WMWB, (my deep breathing, salamander loving, by the way, we will need to talk about that whole salamander thing later WMWB, friend).

Really. Who could ask for anything more!?!?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

...ever had one crawling up you'r back during....

ummmmm....yeah....me either.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Speaking of salamanders, any idea why I would have, 3, count em, 3, slinks, or snakey like little lizards, or whatever the hell those things are called, in my house.

If you have ever been to FL, you would know we breed lizards down here like they breed cattle and cheese clerks in WI, but, why the hell are they in my house.

My daughter is petrified. And my HILARIOUS (yeah, not seeming so funny NOW son) almost has her convinced that they are flesh eaters.

One bad thing about not having eye chart here. He could at least get lizards, skinks, whatever they are called out of the house. What is that saying...ummm..."Reptilian of a feather, slither together..."

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by SerendipiT:
 What is that saying...ummm..."Reptilian of a feather, slither together..."
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>See what I'm saying... you are a riot!!! Do Florida men have a screw loose or something??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I'm afraid I don't get the "eye chart" comment... maybe I need to actually go back and R E A D the entire thread here, eh!?!?!?

No, I have never been to Florida... I have an uncle that live in Sebastion, FL... but I, myself, have never been. Would like to someday!

We have salamanders and skinks up here too... and for the record, I have no idea why you'd have one in your house. When i was a kid, we used to get salamanders in our basement because they would crawl in throught the drain tile to the sump basin in our basement. Every once in a great while one would find his way out of the sump basin and freak my mother out while she was doing laundry or soemthing...

However... I think that would be exclusive to salamanders... being they are amphibians and skinks being reptiles and all. So, I guess I don't have a good answer for ya on that one.

Another thing... your lizards don't hold a candle to our mesquitos here in Minnesota. Every year they tell us up here that this year is gonna be a "bad one". HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU TELL?!?!?!? By dusk they are so thick you can't see 15 feet in front of you... the elderly and children live in fear of actually being carried away... It is one of those risks you take by living here I guess... sort of like earthquakes in California...ya know? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I call WH eye chart due to the long, original, exhaustive nick name I have made up for him. See if you can make it out:

STBXBFLWH

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by SerendipiT:


STBXBFLWH <hr /></blockquote>Soon To Be eX Betraying F*cking Looser Wayward Husband...???

Am I close???

WMWB: Do you sound like someone from North Dahkohtah? Do you say thinks like "dohhn't cha know?" I know you already have that midwestern, canadian, "eh?" thing going.

And you cannot rip on my accent. I have lived in FL long enough to claim the sand and surf and lizards, but not so long that I am missing any teeth.

Midwestern, corn fed, milk drinking (if only they would switch to soy....milk is SOOO bad for you), Harley Riding, open the door for a woman, sweet boys are the best. Here, we have a bunch of men who are "waiting in God's waiting room" (i.e. OLD OKAY!!!!), have transplanted here from NY (because their Granma moved down to FLAHHHHRIDDDA to retire, thus the OLD OKAY comment) and a little scary, or associated with the Mob, or locals who can be dumb, or jerks, or in the case of eye chart, dumb jerks.

Maybe I should relo to WI. At least that is better than MI. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hahahaha...just kidding people.

No...close though.

Soon to be eX big fat loser wayward husband.

The g rated version thank you very much. In my earlier post, when I was the "mad" Dipi (that in my schizophrenia I like to call, crazyhorse) I strung together as many explitives as I could.

[ July 09, 2004, 10:26 PM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

Hey, hey, hey.... first things first!!! Was I close to the definition of eye glasses or not!!! Don't leave a guy hang'n here...!!!

And anoder ting... I ain't sowndin like no nort dekoooten eader... just sow yas knooo. Ohhh yaaaa, dey ken be a sowndin perty strange ya knooo... I doooooint beee dooing dat. Nooooo waaayyy.

And ahhh, yeah... I eat corn...CORN FED STEAK! And real milk too. Soy???? What da hell is dat??? Dats wat wes be usen to make weenie liberal euphorian foods fer dem darned Cali-fori-ians out dere.... ouwwwet west der <...he says pointing west and giving a gentle nod in dat...er, that direction...> Dat soy.... dems crops...fer eat'n... nto fer drink'n yaa knoo... what da hell er dey dooen too yaaa dowwwn der anywieghs...???

Oh... Yeah, i do hold doors open too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

[ July 09, 2004, 10:31 PM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back??? ]

One of our creative directors at the agency is from MN (minnnesohhhhtahhh) and he is the sweetest, nicest, so mild mannered you would almost think he was gay, even though he is not, kindest, real milk drinkin guys I know.

Donnnn cha know?

Oooohhh yaaaaaaaaa. We're all dat wieghs ya knooo.... haaaas sumpt'n ta doooo wit da upbring'n I tink....

What in the hell makes ya think milk is bad for ya??? Do you feed your kids this line of gargabe??? (pardon the pun) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

EDIT:....let me rephrase that a little. We are not all feminine to the point of being almost gay. I was SPECIFICALLY refering to the kindness part....not the "you would swear he's almost gay" part. <...said in the most burly, puffed out chest sort of way i can muster...>

[ July 09, 2004, 10:47 PM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back??? ]

Been crackin' up here!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Your son is hilarious!!

<blockquote>quote:<hr />or associated with the Mob <hr /></blockquote>Many boys in your neck of the woods like to claim this. Usually just another form of fog talk!!

My imitation of DipiT:

How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

One.

Only ONE!!

And do you know WHY?

Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb!

They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!

They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.

And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS!

But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!

AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!

WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!

IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE.

THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@!... HOUSE!

I'm sorry...what did you ask me?

...you get that impression too, eh?!?!?

This older couple was sitting around their apartment; she was clipping coupons while he was reading the bible.

The old man said to his wife, "You know honey, everything you ever wanted to know about life is in here."

She returned, "Well, maybe not EVERYTHING, dear."

He replied back, "Sure, just name one thing I can't find in here."

She said, "PMS-you won't find anything about it in there."

He began flipping through the pages, going from one chapter to another, pausing for a few seconds only before going on to the next page. After about 10 minutes, he looked up at his wife and said, "Aha! Here it is, I told you everything was in here."

Then he proceeded to begin reading the script "... and Mary rode Joseph's [censored]..."

Signs of PMS

Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

You add chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you say.

You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that reads, "How's my driving--call 1-800-***-****."

Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

You're counting down the days until menopause.

You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Three little letters (M, E, and N) send you into an uncontrollable rage.

Hey...you boys are supposed to be here being NICE to me, not here collectively ripping on me.

OK...so I felt bad...edited my mean male joke.

Come back. I was laughing again.

Don't MAKE me get mad again. It can happen.

[ July 09, 2004, 11:04 PM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Robby. I am going to tell ark on you. <hr /></blockquote>Whoa, whoa whoa...

Let's be reasonable here...

At least I can be reasonable... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I'm not making fun of you, just trying to poke a stick at your soft, exposed underbelly! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Is ark a moderator?

I'm in plenty enuff trouble already!

How does a man show that
he is planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer.

yes...I was kidding. A mean kid.

I kid I kid.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

If only I could stop craving male bashing jokes, chocolate, and the need to STOP RETAINING WATER.

Hey now... no tattling here.... give the guy a break already...

I was busy for a second and already I miss a joke... man this board moves fast. I'm used to D/D were you have 3 days to think of a witty respnse to any given thread... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Why do men like smart women?

Opposites attract.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?

When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship?

We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

How do men exercise on the beach?

By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?

All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

What did God say after creating man?

I can do so much better.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.

Why is it good that there are female astronauts?

When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?

Exchange him.

What should you give a man who has everything?

A woman to show him how to work it.

What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?

Telling you his real name.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?

Put the remote control between his toes.

What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?

Big Foot's been spotted several times.

What's the smartest thing a man can say?

"My wife says...."

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

So men can understand them.

Why did God create man before woman?

Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

Why do jocks play on artificial turf?

To keep them from grazing.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?

When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Men are like...

Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the **** out of you.

Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Men are like.....Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.....Cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like.....Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like.....Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like.....Snowstorms.
You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last

Dude...I am laughing out loud. So true. So true.

You had better edit that...you will have some sensitive men on here upset about the male bashing. And I will not take the blame for that.

Robby: what the hell are you doing up so late??

WMWB: No boys this weekend???

THE PRECEEDING WERE JOKES, PEOPLE!!!

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Robby: what the hell are you doing up so late??
<hr /></blockquote>What do you mean? It's friday baby! I'm a man baby! I aint no old ****!

Ok, W is out with the girls (again) tonight! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Just called, on her way home!

Where's the Captain?

You have small baby, and your alien abducted wife is out hooping it up with the ladies.

Dude. Where are those female bashing jokes when you need them?

Well, not that I am suggesting you bash her, after all, we do need to think of plan A, but, I am impressed that you still have your sense of humor. Good for you.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by SerendipiT:


WMWB: No boys this weekend??? <hr /></blockquote>Nope... they are with the MOTY this weekend. Go ahead... figure that one out... go ahead...

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> your alien abducted wife is out hooping it up with the ladies.
<hr /></blockquote>DipiT-

Now remember, we're friends, right?

My W is the BW...

I'm the *******...

Robby: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
Dude. I am still your friend. I wish my WH would have even cared about his deeds. I have a very, very, very, very, very, very big heart. I would have forgiven him, and would have still owned what I needed to own, and would have tried every single day of the rest of my life to build the kind of life together that would make us both euphoric.

Robby, I won't lie to you and tell you I don't wanna ask, DUDE, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING.

But, if you are anything like me, you are probably harder on yourself than anyone else could ever hope to be (especially since I am betting you are the Type A, superachiever, financial planner type). So, alas, my words instead are, forgive yourself. Your wife will come around. She loves you. It just hurts...and people will usually do a lot to avoid pain.

I am still glad you are hanging out with me, making me laugh at PMS jokes tonight.

The only emotion that I have not yet covered is sorrow....give me a folgers commercial and NO DAMN SWEETS in the house, and I think I can conjer up some tears.

WMWB:

MOTY

Mother of Those Yolders
Making Out To Yellow
Must Owl Tea Yeppers
Muckidity Other True Yardstick

Seriously, for the life of me...it must be the premenstration water bloat impeding proper blood flow to the brain.

Or the though of cheese and beer in WI.

You were fairly close on the first one...

MOTY: Mother Of The Year

I actually, in my most smart-alicky of moods, called her this.... ohhhh the rage it insites from her!!!! She likes to think that despite all of what she has been putting me and the kids thru that she is still a good mother... ummm, yeah, ok...keep thinking that dear.

Just out of curiosity... aren't you like an hour ahead of me...??? What are you doing up so late...????

Sleep is overrated. I will get all the sleep I need when I die. Sleep is for the weak. PMS gives me superhuman strength. I can sleep in until 7:00 instead of 5:00 am tomorrow morning.

Ummmm...who the hell knows.

Ahh...well, I'm gonna split. I'm still at work and haven't had supper yet... I think I'm gonna grab some Taco Bell for the drive.

Later... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Male bash much??

WOMEN AND MEN

WOMEN

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

Women wait by the phone for a "safe at home call" from a friend after a snowy drive home.

Women have special qualities about them.

They volunteer for good causes.

They are pink ladies in hospitals, they bring food to shut ins.

They are child care workers, executives, attorneys, stay-at-home moms, biker babes and your neighbors.

They wear suits, jeans, and they wear uniforms.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up for injustice.

They are in the front row at PTA meetings.

They vote for the person that will do the best job for family issues.

They walk and talk the extra mile to get their children in the Right school and for getting their family the right health care.

They write to the editor, their congressmen and to the "powers that be" for things that make for a better life.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They do without new shoes so their children can have them.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.

They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power.

But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.

Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

A woman's touch can cure any ailment.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

She can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes.

They live in homes, apartments and cabins.

They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!

Women do more than just give birth.

They bring joy and hope.

They give compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.

MEN

Men are good at lifting heavy stuff.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Lurkers: These are jokes! Please do not take them seriously! This is a mojo building exercises!

[ July 10, 2004, 09:40 AM: Message edited by: robby13 ]

Running withscissors: THIS WAS EXACTLY WHAT I DID NOT WANT TO BE BLAMED OF!!!! I DID NOT MALE BASH.

The opinions expressed in this thread do not neccesarily represent the views and opinions of SerendipiT, MB, or other affiliated agents.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

DipiT!

Good morning!

What are you doing today?

Robby,

Good morning. I am cleaning, making my kids clean (which I will say they did an awesome job cleaning their bedrooms and their bathroom), balancing my checkbook (depressing task to say the least), then I am going grocery shopping, and then going swimming with the kids at my parent's house.

'Bout you?

W is taking S with Sister and S to SIL's house. ('bout and hour and a half drive.)

I guess I need to find something to do...

Do you parents have a big pool? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Need a lifeguard?

Can you go along with W????

I feel like you are being punished somewhat. A lot of activities that don't include you.

Robby, I am sorry.

Do you live in Tampa. They do have a HUGE pool. You could hop on a float and just chill.

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Can you go along with W???? <hr /></blockquote>Not invited. Girl day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I feel like you are being punished somewhat. A lot of activities that don't include you.
<hr /></blockquote>I feel like I am being punished A LOT!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I guess I deserve it! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Do you live in Tampa. They do have a HUGE pool. You could hop on a float and just chill. <hr /></blockquote>Close, but no cigar!

Put an empty float in the water and think of me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

My computer wasn't working last night so I couldn't join in on this funfest. I just have to say one thing. As wonderful as DipiT is, I KNOW I'm at least as good looking as a salamander. So now I know with my charm and wit, along with my salamander good looks, if I decide to dump H I'll have loads of men after me. OK, maybe they will all look like frogs, but what the heck? On second thought, if I dump H I think I'll just be my little old salamander self for a long while, ALONE! CV

~~ribbit~~ribbit~~

SD

I'm about a half hour from Tampa ...

Taking 5 kids to Adventure Island tonight from 5-11pm.

[ July 14, 2004, 04:59 PM: Message edited by: 1Fla Man ]

SD, I've been wondering where you have been lurking. Now I know it has been under some mossy rock. Hopefully near a beautiful pond in the forest, and not in the abyss somewhere. Aren't I the most positive little salamander you've ever come across? I need to get my Black Mamba self in gear again. I did throw a little zinger H's way last night. When I got home yesterday, before H and I went to dinner, I made the mistake of chugging 2 glasses of vino. Now I know I have reported this behavior in the past, but I swear I'm not ready to go to the Betty Ford Clinic yet. So we went out to dinner and I was a bit loaded. When we got home I slept for 2 hrs. Later, when I was alive again, H made some joke about how exciting we both are. So I immediately said, "See, you should have dumped me when you had the chance. Just think, you could be hanging out with OW right now at her local bar!"

Yes, this was a minor zinger, but H did lol. I swear I am still trying to push that man into OW's arms. I might need to start a thread again so you will come out of hiding and talk me down!

OK, I'm going to slither under my rock now. CV

1Fla Man-

You are a saint! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[ July 10, 2004, 02:00 PM: Message edited by: robby13 ]

Fla Man, so... half hour from Tampa. That equals, what, Plant City or Seffner or something. Or St. Pete/Clwtr. Or Apollo Beach. Or Brooksville/Spring Hill.

Robby, are you in FL????? Sounds like you might be close??? GA??? Huh? Tell me? Huh?

You could call me 2FLAman!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

How was the pool?

Beautiful day!

Going back out thar! Had to freshen up my drink! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

1FLAman is in Orlando---

He just has a really, really fast car!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

[ July 10, 2004, 03:39 PM: Message edited by: robby13 ]

That's one of them <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> More to the West. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

How old are your kids?

Tell me Tell me!

...trying like hell to find my Florida map...

<sifting throuh papers on the desk>

DipiT??

Passed out? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Went to grocery, super walmart (somehow a Tampa Florida staple nowadays), came home and unloaded groceries, then headed to my parents house. We swam, lounged on the patio chairs, and then came inside. We ordered pizza, and then we all fell asleep on the couch (the sun and water takes a lot out of you). Finally loaded up the car and came home.

1FLAman: You said west of Tampa...so you are on the beachside of the bay...St. Pete, Clearwater, Largo, Port Richey, Tarpon, right? This is like a treasure hunt. HOW FUN!!!!

My kids are 10 (my Chris Rock comedian son) and 4 (beautiful daughter is more the physical comedy type). How did you get roped into 5 kids at Adventure Island? I have not been there in YEARS AND YEARS!!!

We went to buccaneer bay in Weeki Wachee last weekend, and my daughter had a wonderful time. We swam in the redneck beach at buccaneer bay, and tatooed countrified redneck men were talking to me and my friend about the weirdest brooksville things I could imagine. But it was fun. And the water was certainly refreshing.

Robby: What did you do today UNDER THE FL SUN??? Are you in Orlando?

In the beginning of the sun season, I burnt the HELLLLLL out of myself, because I got a new swimsuit that was lower cut than the old tan line. Needless to say, I burnt pale fleshy parts of my skin SOOO severely that I am paranoid when I am out now. Sunscreen 45 now! I seriously did a bad bad thing under this FL sun, so, alas, I did not allow myself to stay out there too long today. Besides, I do not want to look like a leather bag by the time I am 40. But I love the water. I am a water person. My daughter is a water person too!

CV: I am sure you look nothing at all like a salamander, and would I be different, under different motivations, well, all I am saying is, er, umm, well, I am sure you would not be alone for long. You got SPUNK. I like that about you!

Sitting in the living room on the computer while my son watches Nickelodeon. Sounds are like little drills entering into my brain, sucking away at any remnants of logic or adult brain activity. MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!

Hope you are all doing well and smiling this fine Saturday evening.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I figured out a little something to get mojo.

Listen to good, old Motown, R&B music.

I was listening to Barry White, and you gotta admit, it is really HARD not to feel some MOJO coursing through your veins when you are listening to Barry White.

W is in Orlando today.

I stayed home and went to the pool.

Just woke up from a little nap....

Captain induced nap! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

What's DipiT doing tonight?

Just called W. Wasn't too interested in hearing from me. BIL is here.

I think it's my turn to be miserable tonight! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby: I am sorry to hear about your situation. I can identify with the pain she is feeling, but then again, I cannot identify with the fact that her husband (you) is there wanting to work it out, since mine didn't.

Even though the woman is 10,000 miles away, in a different continent, in a different world, he still thinks the short lived romance and what he has with her is more valuable than what we had, which was a nice life, 13 years of history, 2 beautiful, witty, wonderful children, a deep, intimate love, a best friendship that was unparalelled and, we were finally within reach of all the hopes and dreams that we had collectively shared all these years.

I just wonder how she would feel if you were still knee deep in the A. If you were feeling like you did not want to be there, working on your marriage, being a father to your son. Would she grieve, and appreciate, and yearn, and hunger for a call to her while she was in Orlando?

I do not know all the details of your story. I do know that adultery hurts. And ain't no captain going to take that away long term. Hang in there. I truly believe God will use this to make you a better person.

Remember my little OW (ow as in ouch) exercise. One will never earn growth without the OWWW (grOWth). Change and progression and growth does hurt. But in the end, it is worth it!

Robby,

I went back and read your story. You do have some interesting perspectives, because you were the BS too. You have been on both sides of this fence, and so has she, so one would think there would be a certain element of at least empathy or understanding.

I admire that you are pursuing counseling, trying like hell to keep this together. I will pray that your wife gets on board.

How is your Plan A going?

You are in my thoughts tonight! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thank you DipiT!

I was just feeling sorry for myself for a second there...

We are both in ****ty situations...

Kinda opposites, in many, many ways.

We've got our own little twilight zone going on!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Serously though, I know you are a BW and, as a FWH, it makes me feel good that we can be friends here.

I'm glad you don't want to 2x4 me to a bloody pulp daily!

Or, maybe you do! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Anyway, thanks again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

No bloody pulps. Just a bunch of hurting people looking for ways not to hurt so much. I'd say we both qualify. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />How is your Plan A going?<hr /></blockquote>Plan A is going well…

But, I have to admit I believe that it’s WS job to plan A, not BS.

Right now, I think Plan Aing a WS is counterproductive, based on other’s stories on this board.

Stating this may also be a defense mechanism as I’m personally grateful my W isn’t Plan Aing me.

I may be a different sort of WS though, as I had a major event to change my perspective on everything.

I love my W and hate the pain I have caused her.

I hope she does come around but will definitely understand if she can’t.

As I’ve stated before, I’ve lost a ton of integrity and character in this whole ordeal.

I was not myself.

I was not a man,

Only a coward…

Someone I will never be again.

No matter if my W forgives me or not.

Morning, just getting ready to take the family to church, thought I'd drop by and <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Adventure Island was great, the kids had a blast. Had alot of other friends there too, kind of a company picnic event. Park was closed from 7-11 and only open for us. Er, I mean the organization.

I must have been on most of those rides 100 times but in the dark they were all like brand new rides.

WW had a message on the phone, when we got back. Told the kids she hoped they had fun, and she loved them. This is the same Mom that up and left for the weekend with no warning at 10:00 pm on Friday night. Was scheduled to work Saturday, and had to call out sick for the kids.

OK DipiT, I'm taking what you said as a compliment. Over the years I've often thought it would be a heck of a lot easier to be gay, given the Mars and venus phenomena. However, we know neither you or I are gay. So maybe in our next lives. Wow, this thread is getting more bizarre as the days go on.

Anyway, I saw Eric Clapton last night and thought about you. An awesome concert by the King! The last song he did there was a line that he and his band kept singing over and over again. I think the line was, "I've got my mojo back!" He'd sing it, then his band would sing it, while Clapton was jamming away on his guitar. Then he sings something like, "It's just not working on you!." I am convinced you are getting your mojo back. It ain't working on your dumber than dirt H, but honey, it will be working on some worthy man one day. Trust me! I've got The Faith! CV

DipiT-

Could you please translate this for me…?

W says

1. We have a crappy marriage.
2. She has not been happy for a long time.
3. She does not trust me & never will.
4. She does not want to work on the marriage.
5. She has not been happy since 3-6 mos. after we got M.
6. We have an awful marriage.

Yet

She wants to separate so she can think about what she wants???

If 1-6 are true, why doesn’t she just want a D?

Don’t get me wrong, I DO NOT WANT A DIVORCE!!!

But there doesn’t seem to be much consistency here…

If things have been so bad for so long shouldn’t her answer be crystal clear?

By the way, how's your day?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />
W says

1. We have a crappy marriage.
2. She has not been happy for a long time.
3. She does not trust me & never will.
4. She does not want to work on the marriage.
5. She has not been happy since 3-6 mos. after we got M.
6. We have an awful marriage.

Yet...She wants to separate so she can think about what she wants???

If 1-6 are true, why doesn’t she just want a D?
<hr /></blockquote>Robby, this sounds crazy, but is your wife having an affair again? This all sounds like WS talk. I mean, my husband said ALL OF THIS (maybe with the exception of the trust comment) verbatim.

Or, better yet, is this her way of pushing you away, and venting her anger, and trying to hurt you back a little bit, to make you "pay" for the pain you have inflicted. I was that was pre-A. If my husband hurt me, rather than cry, and tell him how bad it hurt, and show that I had been violated, I would rage on him. Be an A1A BBBBEEEEEAOOOCH. I would make him pay. And since I knew him so well, I knew exactly what buttons to push that would hurt him back.

And, I think all of what she that may be a feeling is real for her, but she probably has other conflicting thoughts that refute each and every comment she made.

There is a book by John Gottman called "The 7 prinicples that make marriages work." And while I do not buy everything he says, there was this section where he talked about how we will rewrite history. WS's do it, so they can justify the A. And people who have been hurt will do it too, as a way to intellectualize distancing themselves from the other person, and insulate themselves from future pain.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Robby, this sounds crazy, but is your wife having an affair again? <hr /></blockquote>No, I don't think so.

And I guess I now have to explain a little more her WW role...

She fooled around, several times, drug induced with one of her GF's and kissed a OM once(she claims) drunk.

Dude...whatever on that front. It just struck me as funny because those were the EXACT things my WH said.

Maybe it is the rewriting history, so she can distance and PROTECT herself. And again. Go on actions. She may with every fiber of her being want to believe all those things about the marriage, about you, because pitching it is easier than facing the pain, and trying to forgive. But deep down, she may feel something else.

OK, it's official!

You now confuse me just as much as my W! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Translation. She is saying she hates you, wasn't happy, wants you to go crawl in a hole, because if she pretends she doesn't care, convinces HERSELF it has sucked since the beginning, she can have the control over the situation, and thus, contain the pain.

BUT, if you were to crawl into her soul, I would bet there is still a soft spot there for you. The question is whether she will show this again and take down the fort bragg she has erected around her heart tp protect herself.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />BUT, if you were to crawl into her soul, <hr /></blockquote>This is what I want to do.

And what I need guidance, help, support to do.

The problem is that the more she says these things, the more I want to give up and let her go...

Not because I'm not up to it, but because I truely want HER to be happy...

DipiT,

I agree she is rewriting history. Your observations I think are pretty much right on. However, we have to remember, she is the BS. She has feelings as a result of being betrayed, misled, lied to, etc.

She may be rewriting history, but I do think it is a self-defense mechanism to avoid the cost of another betrayal to her emotional needs. Some BS cannot get over that betrayal.

In my own case, I think if it wasn't for the kids, I may not want to get over it either. I probably would want to separate/divorce. See if I really want to invest in keeping the R alive.

Robby hope you don't feel like this is a 2X4 but, you have to claim some ownership to this situation fellow. It's not like it is just going to go away for her.

Good point. But, that is why you stay the course Robby. You keep plan Aing you [censored] off. And if she can forgive and forget, than you will win. If not, than you will have to learn how to forgive yourself and move on.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Robby hope you don't feel like this is a 2X4 but, you have to claim some ownership to this situation fellow. <hr /></blockquote>Not a 2x4 at all,

but I do think I have take FULL ownership...

It just doesn't seem to matter to W.

Also, don't worry, I'm not going to give up...

Until someone, like you guys, tells me it's in her best interest. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[ July 11, 2004, 09:49 PM: Message edited by: robby13 ]

Oh yeah...

W also wants to sell her engagement ring...

we need the $, my career is still in the crapper.

I'm against this.

We had a few more conversations tonight and I think it comes down to this:

My W doesn't TRUST my feelings for her. She doesn't trust that I will never do it again. She doesn't trust that my feelings have changed so much for her.

They have.

Even though it may be too late.

I think you're right, her defenses are WAY up.

I'll plan A my [censored] off!

Thanks for the encouragement! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Ok, Robby, then it is as simple as this.

PROVE IT. Prove that you have changed. Prove that you love her,. Prove that you are a healed man, or at least, on the way to healing. Prove that you are changing, healing, or eliminating the things that slingshot you into an affair in the first place. Prove that you will never do this again.

Maybe she needs to pull back, because it will be in her telling you to go take a hike, that you will take the biggest test. If she pulls back, pushes away, AND you still remain committed, in love, and willing to meet her needs, that is a real testament to your love. You will PROVE that your words meet your actions. If you still love her, when she is telling you she doesn't love you, and you do this over time, maybe that will be the proof that she needs.

Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it.

And the only way you are going to do that, is over time. So it is going to suck for awhile. She needs to know for sure that what you are saying is matching your actions. And that is going to take time to prove. You have taught her that your actions do not match your words. So you need to give her time to learn about the new you.

I agree. Engagement ring should not go. But remember the policy of enthusiastic agreement. This means you both need to negotiate on a solutions until you both agree, ENTHUSIASTICALLY. So, if you don't want to get rid of the ring, maybe you should offer to get rid of something else. Or come up with some other possible solutions to your financial situation.

Hang in there...time will tell all. I think we all tend to give up too soon.

I sometimes wonder if that will be the case with me. I guess I waited too long to do Plan B, or didn't do it well enough, because the Love Bank Account is bankrupted. It is bone dry. Which is such a shame.

hi robby,

i am guessing you will check this post so i thought i would write to you here. I just read your posts from the weekend. i could relate to so much of it!!!

i really thought i have read most of your posts and knew your whole story... but i didn't know you were a BS too nor do i know what was the major life changing event that occured... care to share on that again (otherwise i have to go search old posts).

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I’ve lost a ton of integrity and character in this whole ordeal. <hr /></blockquote>i know how you feel!!! but at least we did finally figure it out, right? cuz here we are working on being better people. i hope you give yourself a LOT of credit for that.

other than that, i think dipiT is right on, just keep proving it. your W might be saying a lot of things, but until she puts it into action, like goes to a lawyer and files, she has not completely given up, she is hurting.

CV55, if you read this. I AM SOOOOO JEALOUS!!!! i want to see Eric Clapton so bad. He will be here this sat night. i thought for sure Eric Clapton would be one concert that H and i could really enjoy together. i love concerts, H does not, but he really like Eric Clapton. I had offered to spend the extra $ to get us good seats for a change, in the hopes that would be better for him, if he was up close. but H still had no desire to go. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> As it turns out, my daughter and i are now going camping this weekend. I must admit, i am hoping that another show in my town might be added in the future and maybe that time H will re-consider. hard to say.

i now have tickets to see Prince. someone H does not even like, but from something he said last night, it seems like he might consider going. i'm not sure and i don't want to push it. i'm just going to be sure to let him know he is invited and he is my first choice of who i would want to go with.

Robby, are you around? Hope none of my comments offended in any way.

CV: I am major jealous! LOVE MUSIC!!! LOVE LIVE CONCERTS. Finally: LOVE PRINCE!!

Prince is DEFINITELY one of those mojo producing artists!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

HELLO WORLD!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Not offended at all!

Just busy today. Took all of the advice to heart...Seems as though I need a few reminders now and then! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Should actually take those 2 posts and have them tattood somewhere on my body! I've read them several times, will read several more before bed time.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />nor do i know what was the major life changing event that occured... <hr /></blockquote>Birth of S. Changed everything. I MEAN EVERYTHING!!! Don't think I was expecting that, but boy, am I glad!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

How was everyone's day?

DipiT?

FL -I did see your post earlier. I tend to shy away when advice is needed... Think I'm only good for laughs, occasional comedy relief. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Oh, what the heck...

WHACK!

JK! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Ahhh..doing well. Feeling as guilty as a catholic alter boy, and I am not catholic. Go figure!

Hope you are hanging in there! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

FL, any chance you and your daughter can blow off the camping this weekend and go see Clapton? We saw him about 3 yrs. ago and I was blown away then. When he sang "Layla" (sp?) I just thought, "OMG, I'm actually listening to Eric Clapton do this song." Anyway this concert was just as good, if not better. I don't use the word awesome lightly, but he was awesome. We had cheap seats, but with the jumbotrons, and great sound symptoms, it didn't matter.

Well I could go on and on about The King. He just gets up there and plays his music. No BULL$$$$ fancy stuff. Just him and his guitar, and a great band. And to top it off Billy Preston is on this tour. If you're a fan, and there's ANY way you can see him, go for it. OK, I'll shut up! At least you have Prince to look forward to. You'll be hearing some great guitar there too. CV

OK CV, now i feel even WORSE that i cannot go!!!!! thanks a lot!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> but i am very glad you could go and you enjoyed it so much.

i am looking forward to prince concert and then the week after that my son and i are seeing blues travelers, they rock!!

here is the surprise of the night, makes NO sense to me. H says he will go to prince concert with me. says he has 0 expectation for the concert as he is not a prince fan but he will go just to be my date. how's that for a shocker for ya.

update you all more tommorow. going to have that talk that i DIDN"T get to ask you all about before having cuz of the other stupid distraction of the day. guess i'll just have to rely on myself.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Ahhh..doing well. Feeling as guilty as a catholic alter boy, and I am not catholic. Go figure!
<hr /></blockquote>Yeah, I've been following your other thread...

But based on recent events here on the MB boards I didn't want to soil your thread. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Probably not the best place for WS. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Not much new here...

I hope you have a great day! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

At least you did not say "stain" my thread! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hope you are doing well too.

Feeling better. I think I am schizophrenic...I seem to change moods moment by moment.

DipiT-

Are you still here?

Many seem to be leaving for one reason or another.

My best wishes to all, of course! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

But it's getting pretty lonely being a FWS around here...

Dude, I am still here. Just crazy busy. Things seemed to let loose at work today. I GOTTA get to the gym tomorrow...need to blow off some steam!

How are you doing, Robby?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />How are you doing, Robby? <hr /></blockquote>Better, now that you made me laugh on the Jelly thread.

Looks like we still have some fans...

Get out your rubber chickens and fake noses...

...time to be funny again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

and by the way...

I think you need a two day written warning the next time you're going to be THAT busy again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby,

WAT UP DUDE????

Well, how is this for a comedy of errors, keystone cops kinda story?

It is late. Kids are being extra pesky. In my infinite DUMBNESS I decide to be nice and let them stay up. Then, in my gigantic STUPIDITY, I decide we can all go in my bed and cuddle while we say prayers. We say prayers, and then, sit quietly, talking about our day, etc. Then, they started being kinda silly, we were all laughing, it was nice. Then, I decided enough is enough, go to bed. Mind you, I still need to log onto work servers tonight to put the finishing touches on a presentation that will probably not be enough to avoid us getting fired from a problem account anyways, so, NO PRESSURE OR ANYTHING.

So, they are supposed to be off getting to bed, and I decide to spend the next few moments washing my face. I hear screaming yelling and regular ANNOYING AS HELLLLLLL sibling rivalry behavior, which usually puts me from 0 to CRAZY in about 3 seconds flat. I yell from the bathroom, face covered in makeup remover, "Get to bed guys. I let you stay up, now it is time to get to bed." More screaming. Apparently they are trying REALLY hard to take my warnings seriously...NOT. So, in my attempt to put the fear of God in them, I uncharacteristically decide I am going to run out of the bathroom, face still lathered up, and go running in the living room, with a "I AM A CRAZY WOMAN ABOUT TO BUST OPEN A CAN OF SOMETHIN SOMETHIN face." I am almost giddy of the prospect of this. Of my reverent children, eyes wide, shocked at my boldness, and answering with a demure little "Yes mother."

Well, I take two swift steps, proceed to stub my toe hard during the run out there, and now, the soap is running into my eyes. Instead of the fierce lioness, I look like an utter and complete idiot, like Laverne on an episode of Laverne and Shirley. I manage to yell out some sort of threat through my masked yelps of pain, that, apparently was loud enough to incite some sort of action on behalf of my children (they are probably rushing to their rooms so they can bury their heads in their pillows and LAUGH at their crazy *** Mom. Then, daughter, age 4, runs to her room, and stubs her toe on dresser. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

So, then, I go back to bathroom to finish feeble beauty regime, although, I have major PMS, so my face is breaking out like a nervous 12 year old a day before the Middle School Sadie Hawkins dance. I am dissapointedly studying every apparent flaw in my skin, contemplating what chemical to apply, etc.

Then, daughter decides to play her "Late Night Torture Mom" routine, where she get's up feigning some sort of dramatic emergency, in true thespian like manner. I mean seriously, this stuff puts Shakespeare to shame. I try not to laugh, try not to cry (my eyes are still burning) and ask her if she is thirsty, needs to go pee-pee, etc. She answers no. I tell her "Ok then. C, if you do not go to bed right now and stay in bed, I will spank you." Ok. I am not a big corporal punishment person, but when you have put something out there, and upped the ante, well, you had better be consistent.

Sure enough, 3.2 seconds later, she gets up, again, with no good reason, and really, because she knows I do not want to spank her, and she is calling my bluff, comes in asking for different pillow. Mind you this is the same pullow she has used for her entire child life. I tell her, ok, now Mommy has to punish you. She throws herself on the floor, screaming a banshee like yell that I am sure the neighbors the next street over heard, and proceeds to start reciting lines from Hamlet. I walk her to her bed, lightly tap her butt. And when I tell you I tapped her on the butt, that is exaggerating the actual act. She and I both know I have followed through with the promise, but that it was a pathetic attempt. I would pat my kids on the back harder when I would burp them as babies than this spank was. She them commences to screaming so loud, that the dog and all the other animals with that keen sense of hearing, cower in pain. Drama for your momma I like to say. Literal screaming. I think about going in there and demanding peace, but decide she can go ahead and scream it out. She is fine. Safe in her bed. Unharmed. Etc.

I close her door, and try again to commence on my beauty routine. At this point, due to all the stress, I notice a new blemish. Now I will need a NEW chemical for this fresh one.

So, now, I hear a desperate..."MOMMMMMMMMMMY" at the top of her lungs. I hurry in there, because it is not the type of yell I normally hear. I turn on the light, and see, in all her drama, she has managed to work herself into a heighted furvor, she has thrown up strawberry creme wafers all over the clean sheets I just put on her bed tonight. Had just pulled them out of the dryer and made her bed before prayer time. Yes. It's true. In addition to career woman, I do also need to raise my kids, and wash the sheets once in awhile.

So, for the next 30 minutes I bathe her, search the house for an alternative sheet set, make her bed, get her settled down, and put her back to bed, put all the newly clean and now newly soiled sheets in the wash, etc.

Poor thing is apologizing over and over about her drama and the vomit. I tell her it is ok. But that the reaction was beyond ridiculous, which she admits, etc. Sooth her, swoon over her, put her *** to bed.

Still have not finished skin care routine tonight. Figure it is not meant to happen...can feel entire surface of face turning into zit.

AND THE REST OF THE STORY..........

Daughter just walked over, with a sly smirk on her face, and told me "Mommy? I want that glass of water now." I sent her packing with her water, and 2 seconds later, had her out saying that she could not find her teddy.

She is too much like me. And in honor of CP, I am

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

Maybe I will not even start the proposal completion tonight. Might get up at the crack of dawn and have better chance of getting more done!

If that does not make you laugh, at the little realities of life, well then, nothing will! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

OMG, I just laughed my [censored] off! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Not about to try to compete with that!

Holy ****!

Tears I tell ya! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Whew!

Alright, I'll stop whining and post more in the morning...

...not as early as you'll be up saving your [censored] though... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Nite Nite DipiT! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You gotta love kids. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I used to keep a journal of all that crazy stuff when they were younger. Kids are so crazy, especially at that age.

Hope you get that work done DipiT, I also waited till morning to do my reports <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . But had a busy night and ended up with more paper work than expected. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Whew..one more conference call to go this morning, and then I can slack for a little while.

Proposal was done, looked DAMN good, if I do say so myself, and the client was actually excited (I repeat, DID NOT FIRE US). I do my best work under the gun (wink wink). That is why in am in the ad biz.

I am not a procrastinator, I am "Deadline Oriented." Yeah! That's it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

dipiT-

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Whew..one more conference call to go this morning, and then I can slack for a little while.<hr /></blockquote>Sure, sure…. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Well, good news…

Celly has shown up again!

I have IC at 8:00, how’s your slacking going?
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa, nanny nanny boo boo. I just met Brad Johnson at a Tampa Bay Buccaneer Autograph Signing Party. One of the perks of being an advertising person. Got autographs for my kids. Son will love it. Daughter won't get it, and WH will hear of it. Oh well, tooooooo damn bad. That could of been one of the perks of being married to me. SF as my top EN, and the opportunity to take advantage of the friends in high places, and see the Buccaneers. Booo hooo to yooooo, WH (he is a HUGE Buc fan). Waaaaaaa!

Ok, I'll stop gloating.

Did I mention Brad is HOTTTTTT!!!! But alas, he is married. And, well, I don't go for the whole A thing (who'd of thunk it???).

It was fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!

Told you I would slack.

Ate enough cheese to...well...to have eaten too much cheese if you know what I mean (and dairy is soooooo bad for you).

I see CP and KY and Robby are back at it. I guess that means I have to retire my place as the crazy and wacky thread. Robby only came here because there was nothing going on there. Now he will have more wacky friends to hang out with. And CP, he and KY have some sort of special friendship that I cannot compete with.

I will try to come up with funny stories and crazy antics, but, alas, will probably fall short.

Farewell dear friends. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> sniff sniff <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I see CP and KY and Robby are back at it. I guess that means I have to retire my place as the crazy and wacky thread. Robby only came here because there was nothing going on there. Now he will have more wacky friends to hang out with. And CP, he and KY have some sort of special friendship that I cannot compete with.

I will try to come up with funny stories and crazy antics, but, alas, will probably fall short.

Farewell dear friends. sniff sniff <hr /></blockquote>Ok, so you’re a bucs fan, and a HUGE DRAMA QUEEN!!!

Cut it out silly girl!!

I went to high school with Brad Johnson…

One of the nicest guys I’ve ever met….really.

Too bad he’s married! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

We’re friends, DipiT, remember…

Yes, even though I’m an EVIL, EVIL, EVIL, you get the drift, EVIL FWS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I’ve got to go to IC in a few minutes…

By the time I get back I hope you don’t have anymore whine to go with all that cheese…
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

this make me think of you...

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later...."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

Cheddar Head! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

[ July 14, 2004, 06:21 PM: Message edited by: robby13 ]

Ha-ha-ha, Robby. Don't you worry. Your kid will start these antics soon enough! JUST YOU WAIT!!!!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Hey! I didn't get an invite to your little pitty party! Does this mean you don't love me anymore?! Tell me it was just lost in the mail. <hr /></blockquote>Dear CP: The honor of your plastic wrap fetish attendance is hereby requested at the
Dipi "There's a Tear in My Beer"
Pity & Drama Queen Extravaganza.

Bring your own sob stories, and a short soliloquy.

Robby:
<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Too bad he’s married!
We’re friends, DipiT, remember…
Yes, even though I’m an EVIL, EVIL, EVIL, you get the drift, EVIL FWS!
I’ve got to go to IC in a few minutes…
By the time I get back I hope you don’t have anymore whine to go with all that cheese…
<hr /></blockquote>I am sorry if I said the EEEEEVVVVIIILLLL comment to you and hurt your feelings. We are friends. And if you knew me well, you would know I do not take that term lightly. I am not a very conditional friend, waffling my allegiance to my friends, back and forth, like posts on a stray thread, but remain loyal, steadfast, unwavering. So, know that I am here buddy. Trying to help you be a better man, and save your marriage.

And as far as wine, I too, am on a diet, and some wine would make me drink unnecessary calories, and probably lose all my faculties. I made a 5 lbs loss this week, and I am not about to piss it away. And all the cheese was free, well, because Brad was there, and he burns enough calories on the field to make up for both of us.

And as far as your typo, Whine , well, dude, use your spell check.

I neeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvver wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiinnne.

Please don't stop being my friend. PPPPPPPLLLLLLLLUUUUUUHHHHSSSSE?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[ July 14, 2004, 06:35 PM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I am sorry if I said the EEEEEVVVVIIILLLL comment to you and hurt your feelings. <hr /></blockquote>Ok, now you're just confusing me with someone else...

I TOLD YOU TO SAY IT WITHOUT SHAME!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />So, know that I am here buddy. Trying to help you be a better man, and save your marriage. <hr /></blockquote><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thank you again, DipiT! I need the help!

...in between your cheese eating, of course...

Any famous clients today?

DipiT-

I know you are going through a lot right now and I don’t want to stain your thread…

But..

I need to put this down somewhere…

Somewhere someone who may understand will eventually be able to read…

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Maybe she needs to pull back, because it will be in her telling you to go take a hike, that you will take the biggest test. If she pulls back, pushes away, AND you still remain committed, in love, and willing to meet her needs, that is a real testament to your love. You will PROVE that your words meet your actions. If you still love her, when she is telling you she doesn't love you, and you do this over time, maybe that will be the proof that she needs.<hr /></blockquote>I’m frustrated about W going out with work folks (again) tonight. Goes on Mondays (softball) and Thursday (drinking w/o softball premise).

I know, you’ve said –everyone has said, that this is going to suck for a while…

I’m not whining, just need to vent my frustrations…

THIS IS THE SAME WAY SHE ACTED PRE A! THE EXACT SAME!!!

When she now says her feelings were dead for me!

I haven’t felt loved for so long. Too long…

No, I should never have had an A. It was a weak and cowardly decision.

I suppose I should have gotten a D a long time ago…or found a way to revive our M.

Or I should never have gotten M in the first place. I was always afraid of M. Been hurt too many times before. Too much baggage I guess…

I told W this. We started dating around the time the move “Titanic” was out. I’d tell her “that” was the type of love I wanted, needed, longed for. Someone who would jump out of the lifeboat and back onto the sinking ship…for me, for us.

Sounds kind of corny, huh?

Sure, a bunch can be read into what I thought I wanted, I know…

And no, the A did not make me feel loved…

Now we have the greatest son in the world together…

She wasn’t happy before we got pregnant.

You say to watch her “actions.”

What about her actions tonight? What about her actions of going out all the time, drinking, without me, without her wedding ring… Leaving our S.

What do these actions tell you?

damn robby, i came to this thread to get a CHUCKLE!!! i don't post often here but i read the silliness that goes on, Lord knows i need all the humor i can get.

i'm sorry you are feeling so down, i am feeling down too, maybe you read my thread. you are doing better than me though, you are not making stupid decision like me. so my H is out drinking tonight too, also without his wedding ring, but only with one male friend of his. the one he is supposed to start his furniture store with, although i don't think they will really ever be serious about it, they just like to talk. at first i thought H was really serious about this concept but he is not following through with much actions to determine just how to accomplish it.

probably a good thing, starting a big proposition like this ties me into my job even more, although if it actually did good, it could be the thing that allows me to change careers. i figure whatever is meant to be will happen.

not sure if you knew i want to change careers and become a teacher. i had applied to a college back in fall of 2002, the plan was to try to quit in summer of 2003, but i put it on back burner due to finances, but the college still keeps in touch with me in fact the guy in charge sent me a note about a month ago to invite me to just sit in on the program, i went today for about 1 1/2 hrs, it was cool to see what was going on and to talk to the people going thru the program. funny thing, about 4-5 out of the 13 people in the cohort are all from my company!!! people who were either fired or took early retirement package so when i said where i was from, i got quite the reaction!! in any case it is good to keep my name fresh in the professor's mind so when(not if) i am ready i will have a good shot at being selected. the program only accepts 15 math people each year. i was well on my way to being choosen the year i did apply, but then i pulled my name out because i knew it was not going to be feasible that year. it was a heartbreak though, the program started the day after i turned 40!! it sure seemed like it was meant to be back then.

not that i am complaining about my current job, i am still keeping in mind that the pay is good and it is very flexible and that i am lucky to have it! i am doing ok there but in my heart i just know sooner or later i WILL BE A TEACHER!!!

anyway, i am rambling. i hope you are doing ok over there. not that my post here is going to help at all!!!! we need someone to tell us a good joke. until then, i guess i'll get back to cleaning and packing for the camping outing, just my daughter and me, it's a girl scout thing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> fun time and the weather report calls for excellent weather <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

robby, i just read your post again... i am really sorry for the hurt you are feeling right now. i can hear your pain and i really do feel for you. obviously i had to get my own written down before i could reach out to you better.

hang in there robby, you are doing the right thing and for good reasons, your W and your beautiful son, even though his teeth are TERRIBLE!!!

what dipti said, if that was her you were quoting, makes sense to me. it is kinda what i did when i was in my A. even though i was in A, i still kept watching my H very closely, i really wanted to believe he finally understood how bad a state our marriage was in and i really wanted to believe he was serious about wanting to improve things, but it took a long time before i finally did believe. i still believe my A was somewhat different than the norm. even while in A, deep down i so badly wanted marriage to work out, like you said, i really want to be in a relationship that is extremely strong. where the person would rather go to a bad movie with you than a movie they would prefer to see on their own (that is my favorite way of saying it). but a relationship where each person really matters to the other person. having a marriage where there was so much distance between us was killing me. still i made a horrible decision to cheat on him. i'm not saying otherwise. i am just saying, i can relate very well. if that helps at all, i can relate robby, but i truely believe no matter what if we stay the course and remain healthy partners in the end it will work out!!

hang in there!!!!!

Robby,

Dude. I am so sorry. So so so sorry.

(((((((Robby)))))))

I wish I were a guy, so I could come over, we could watch some sort of sport, play with your kid, and it would not be weird or inappropriate. Where we could hang out and be friends and there would be no danger of hurting your w or developing an A. Then, in the most non gay way I could muster, I would try to make you feel loved. Give you a big hug.....Ok...not to threaten your masculinity, but maybe this scenario works better if you were a girl and I was a girl. And we could hug and cry on each other's shoulder and watch movies with Brad Pit in it, and eat Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream, give each other pedicures, and talk about our stretch marks, etc. I know you are close by, and I can read the isolation, loneliness and pain in your post.

It is not right that she be out all the time. I don't know what to tell you.

I know this site is about marriage building, but I also know in order for anything to be built, both builder have to eventually be present and working on it. Which means, each of you hold equal responsibility. Also means, is she never wants to reinvest in the relationship, you will face a crossroads where you will either continue to live with the status quo, or not want to continue to wait for something that you desperately need (and deserve).

Robby, you try to gloss over the fact that you were the BS first. And, in all honesty, what did you do to fix your M then? It was still broken, and just got more and more sick, I am guessing.

So, I think I am saying, it is not time to walk away yet.

And while I may not be able to be your Rose, or you my Jack (Titanic reference), would it have been helpful if their pals pulled up in a motor boat. Maybe it would not be romantic, maybe it would not involve sex...but the friend boat has a blanket, some hugs, a six pack, and a small TV with the football game on. Oh yeah, and they are grilling steaks for us all on dry land.

What am I saying with this terrible analogy...well,

Woooah....oooohhhh...BABY YOU GOT FRIENDS!!!! Maybe in low places, BUT FRIENDS DAMNIT!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

FL & DipiT-

You Rock! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I do follow your threads, fl, but I don’t necessarily believe I am doing better than you…I think we simply have different personalities, different difficulties, different coping mechanisms. I think that it’s great that you’re going to pursue teaching (I knew about this as well). It sounds like a passion for you and that’s a very good thing!

Ok, I’ll complain about my current job: it sucks! I’ve made as much money ytd as I used to make monthly! There is an upside though. My humility exercises have advanced considerably! Can I have yours when you start teaching? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Brad Pitt is sooooo hot!

Why would you think I am close by? Sniff, sniff….

Do I smell that bad? I bathe weekly and turn my underwear inside-out every other day! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hmm. What did I do to fix my M when I was the BS?

Well I protected myself of course….I retaliated. (sarcasm here) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I didn’t do anything that is found on MB, that’s for sure…M was sick so let’s add a little more relationship cancer, shall we? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I think I’ve grown a bunch as a person since then. I hope so. Also, to my Titanic analogy, Jack wasn’t an *******…

I LOVE STEAKS!!!

More than anything…

But one…

FRIENDS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks guys…

So, do you really have a boat? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

i have a boat, just got it 2 weekends ago.

trust me you don't want my job!!! the company is going headed for ice burgs, one of these days it might end up like the titanic. well probably not, it's too big of a company, i think!!

here is some fabulous news of the day... i got into a car accident. wait, lets not sugar coat it, i lost control of my car and messed it up big time. thankfully no one was hurt, i was only one in car. i had an eye witness pull over and she swears there was a white truck that zoomed past me on the left side and side-swiped me and that is why i lost control. i personally have NO IDEA!!! the thing is, i was about 1/2 mile from my house on the on ramp to the expressway and i realized seat belt was not yet on, so i went to put it on, looked down for a sec and the next thing i knew i was out of control. i hit a regular sized curb on the right side of the road, ended up in a spin and stopped facing the wrong direction on the ramp, quickly moved it over to the side. both tires on the right were blown. on the left side there is a scrap going down the entire length of the car, the door openned but not easily.

of course my first thought as i was shaking like a leaf is, now H is going to be even more mad at me. i had to call home and wake him up. he did come help me, drove out to pick me up and look it over, he said he was not mad but you could not tell my his face or tone of voice. he said it was cuz he was woken up and was tired. he was out late last night and then didn't sleep well, when i woke up at 6am he was on the couch, he said it was just cuz he couldn't sleep due to stuffy nose, not cuz of what i had told him the night before. once back home we sat down on the couch and i asked him if he could help convince me that he was not mad or annoyed at me. in the most monotone voice a person could do he said, i am not mad or annoyed and that is the best i can do. i'm trying hard to believe his words and ignore the body/voice language. i swear the guy has NO ablity to show any emotion!!

but i am ok and that is what counts. car is in the shop. i don't know what to do regarding police report, i am waiting for call back. i did get info from the lady that says she saw the truck side swipe me. either way H says he is not going to tell insurance and have us just handle it, he does not think it will end up to be too bad. the biggest cost is probably getting the two new tires. hopefully there will be no structual damage, garage guy says he won't know till the new tire is on and it can be driven.

daughter and i are supposed to leave about 1pm today. we are going to rent a car for the weekend. i have a HUGE HEADACHE!!!!!!! "calgon take me away!!" i am still looking forward to camping.

by the way, i have never seen the titanic. i was not happy with the concept of wrapping a love story around a terrible tragedy and i have stuck to that. (i did love the song though).

also robby... you are funny, kinda gross thougths there, but funny.

Wow! I'm glad you're ok!

Never wake a sleeping H...

...unless you get run off the road...

...or other emergency...

Seriously though, I'm glad you were not hurt! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

What gross thoughts?

Do you mean you don't think Brad Pitt is sooooo hot! ? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Have a great time camping! Watch out for snipes!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

[ July 16, 2004, 11:41 AM: Message edited by: robby13 ]

If you only knew. Either it is just me, and I am a lunatic (this is a rhetorical comment, by the way) or this is normal for women, but there is constant chatter in my mind all day long. So, dialogue is a LOW estimate.

Come out..

Come out...

Where ever you are... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

ROBBBBBY...can we talk about Brad Pit?

Anytime....

He is soooo hot!!!

How you doin'?

I saw the cutest purses today at this little shop....oh wait...my fantasy of us being able to switch gender, just a fantasy.

Alas.

So, how have you been faring since this morning, Leo DiCaprio?

Not the best of days...

Not the worst.

Stuck in a rut with my big fat butt! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

You are a poet and did not even know it.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />my fantasy of us being able to switch gender, just a fantasy.
<hr /></blockquote>I'll talk about Brad Pitt(covered with chocolate pudding!) and you talk about scratching yourself and how you're God's gift to me(women). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Brad Pitt .. chocolate pudding <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I'm not even going to join this bizarro conversation.

BTW my favorite Brad Pitt role was the part he played in "True Romance" one of my favorite movies. A real love story.

So what are my Tampa MB'ers doing on this nasty rainy day? I'm going puddle jumping, then going to sit on the porch for a good cigar. Hopefully WW will be on her way to her sisters so I'll have a reprieve from the abuse.

Why is it that I always want to get home, but when I'm here I wish otherwise?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

W is placing engagement ring on ebay. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

A cigar sounds good...

Think I'll go get one...

Hey, Robby...I wish you would talk to me offline. Maybe I could conspire to buy it somehow, and you could later buy it back. Well...depending on how much it is worth. Well....I am broke...but...what happened to that policy of joint agreement, damnit???????

Tom: Dude. I know where you are. I lived HELLLLLLLLLLL, I mean, Plan A for roughly 6, count 'em, 6, yes SIX months...and not a removed Plan A, but a, he was right here in my face, in my bed, in my house, moping around, or treating me like shinola, or skipping family events like church to chat with her, or telling me that Christmas was so miserable here with me and my family that he considered killing himself, and was preparing his goodbyes to the kids, yes, SIX DAMN MONTHS of Plan A...and it SUCKED. So, I feel your pain brother. One thing I will say is, I am glad I did it. Glad I fought for the marriage. My children will one day understand what happened fully, and will hopefully see the model of perserverance, grace, patience and self control in what they saw in me during those times (and it was only with God's help...I was clinging to Him WHITE KNUCKLED). And I know I was meeting needs like crazy. So I will also one day have the two fold satisfaction of knowing that a.) I will be able to meet some lucky man-who-is-not-off-his-rocker's needs one day and will be able to make him wildly happy, and thus, will also be wildly happy, have learned a lot of hard lessons on making a marriage work and b.) one day WH will wake up to what he lost, see the folly in his decision, and maybe at that point have the opportunity to do the self reflection himself that he needs to do to be a happy person.

By the way, never saw True Romance. But I sure saw Brad in his movie, half naked and in a greek war costume, I mean, Troy, and as the incarcerate Martha Stewart would say "It's a good thing."

Sigh! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey robby.

I am so sorry to hear that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I don't know your entire story, but I know you have been through a lot lately.

If she could just see what she is doing to you....or maybe that is the point?

How's your babe today?

Pam

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I wish you would talk to me offline. Maybe I could conspire to buy it somehow, and you could later buy it back. Well...depending on how much it is worth. Well....I am broke...but...what happened to that policy of joint agreement, damnit???????<hr /></blockquote>Hey DipiT-

Appraised value is >$15k. Thanks though!

She’s never agreed to POJA. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

And I never said I wouldn’t talk to you offline! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> How's your babe today?<hr /></blockquote>Baby is perfect! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Bit of a sad day though…Had to take his swing down and put it in storage…He’s outgrown it already! 8 months old and 27 lbs! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Thank you for reminding me of what is really important!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Well DipiT,

I've been know to wear a toga on occassion. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Have to say though, "Troy" was no love story, thought it was going to be one, but dissappointed. Especially as someone who enjoyed the books and mythology.

I know what you mean. Well it's 2:44 and wife stayed in bed till 12:30. Since then she has told me to get out of the house and move away .... about.... hmmm.... lets see.... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7... Hell let's make it an even dozen. And the glare... oooooo, brrrrrr, cold hearted.

I actually thought she'd be happy the D was finally filed, calm her. But nope, hell on wheels. At least she is leaving for the night... don't even care who with right now, it'll be nice.

Well did some puddle jumping. Inhaling a nice Punch cigar, and settling in for what I hope is going to be an exciting evening. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Robby, if she does get rid of it... give her the cigar band off your stogie. Seriously, she must really be hurt to do something like that. Implusive and she'll probably regret it later. Or not. Good luck, and long ashes.

[ July 17, 2004, 01:56 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]

Oh yeah, almost forgot!

On the upside...

I found some mojo today! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

At least that's what I named this hairy ball of earwax!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Heyyyyyyyy! You are in big trouble Robby. My mojo pursuit has nothing to do with your gross bodily functions....ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I will get you back for that, mister.

Tom,

Let me get this straight. Fireman (aka hero), cute, Christian, Shakespeare, Greek/Roman Mythology, family guy, lives near the water. Sheesh. You are a catch.

WW better get her head out of her @ss and wake up. Men like you do not grow on trees.

And I forgot to mention you have worn a toga. Doesn't get any better than that.

Makes me think of Brad again...sigh!

P.S. Robby, what the hell are you feeding that kid. I thought they could not eat steak until they were at least 12 months or had some teeth! YIKES!!!!

S already has 6 teeth! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

irony: W is watching movie "Unfaithful" right now.

hate that movie. UGH!

((((((((((Robby))))))))))

Love your hugs!!

And when did I say I wouldn't talk to you offline?

I guess you didn't. I thought somehow I had understood that.

R you on MB right now?

Good Morning!

celly-

Sorry for the delay, W has been on pc for a while.

Things are ok here, how 'bout you?

Yesterday Tom gave me the idea of smoking a cigar so I went to the cigar shop and got a Griffin's (V cut, brandy dipped). Drove down to the water and had a very relaxing time. It really took the edge off!

Think I may do the same today...

Whats news with you?

Wow...celly, that is a real pleasant visual....NOT!!! I had a friend who's Mom would tell her to smoke a cigarette if she got constipated. YIKES!!! So, maybe you could kill two birds with one stone, ya know.

Hey there, ho there, Robby. How is it going. Kiss that baby today???

I am super happy today. HAD AN AWESOME church experience today. Feels good to get recharged and refocused for the week. I have a million meetings next week (seriously, my calendar is FRIGHTENING...I will feel like a presidential candidate on the campaign trail, pasting on smiles, visiting folks city to city). Plus, I meet with WH to "go over all the D paperwork" tomorrow. A long week to say the least.

Just for extra fun, I weigh myself every Sunday before church. I lost a total of 5 pounds this week. So, I decided to try on this new beautiful khaki linen skirt suit I had purposely bought two sizes too small about 6 months ago. At the time, I could barely get it zipped...it hung weird on my body, the jacket gaped weird in the bust, etc.

Today, I pulled on the skirt, and could not believe it. IT WAS TOO BIG!!!!! WOOOOO HOOOOOO. I had to rifle through my drawers to find a pretty scarf to wear through the belt loops that matched the fitted sweater I was wearing, so it would not fall off of me ("skirt falling off = bad form" at church). Then, I tried on the jacket. It was a very fitted jacket, with all this tailoring in the waste line, kinda "fitted" on the bustline (thus the previous "gaping" in the past). It fit perfect, if anything, a little loose! Looked really cute. Very tailored. I COULD HAVE SHOUTED OFF THE MOUNTAIN TOPS THIS MORNING!!!!

The weight I put on after my pregnancies had so dramatically changed my body, that I have been in a depression for many years. Which would make it worse. I would feel depressed, eat more, gain more, get more depressed. And it was so not me. My early adulthood, prekids, I was always fit. And while I will never be runway model thin, never was, I was peppy and curvy and well proportioned, by most men's standards anyway, and I was relatively happy with myself. So this fat person was just not me...I was literally miserable with it.

So, in all total, between diet I had started before WH returned from India (affectionately known as the "I will lose some weight and then feel sexier and will then jump your bones because I missed you so much during your extended international business trip" diet), to the heart break diet, to the gonna survive and reinvent myself for me diet, I have lost a total of 40lbs. I have another 35 to go (because I want to reclaim some of the spunk I had in my youth, but would settle for another 20-25 lbs, but since we are goal setting, why settle). I think I will solve this issue for myself this year!!!! Woo hoooooooooo!!1

How are my friends??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

YES...TAKE GENITALS OFF YOUR SIG LINE. THEN WE WILL TALK!!! Jeeesh! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

robby...u ok???

Yeah DipiT,

I am ok. I've been reading your other threads and very happy for you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Woo Hooo!

I've just been quiet because I've been reflecting on your sit (and others) and trying to keep my head up...

S needs food (again!) more later... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Robby, Hey...quit feeding that kid so much. He is going to be on the line for the Buc's offense before you know it!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Anyhoo, I sense some depression. And you had better not be holding out on me, because you are not trying to really be real about where you are, because of my WOOO HOOO posts. What would friends be for, if they cannot take a time out from their mojo party and listen to a hurting friend. ((((((((((((Robby)))))))))))

What's on your mind, amigo? Dish it! Come on!!!

Thinking of you! If you want to email me, you can at . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[ July 18, 2004, 08:46 PM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

No party pooping here! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Just need a good cigar...

Afterwards I'll dish a bit...

before I tuck myself in! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

hi robby, yes i was not hurt with car thing at all last friday, just very shook.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I bathe weekly and turn my underwear inside-out every other day! <hr /></blockquote>that is what was funny but kinda gross.

brad pit is OK but i am more into tom cruise. top gun all time favorite movie!!!!

camping was very fun. coming home to very unhappy H was not. but we ended up talking some and i think that helped him. my stress level is way up today though, he asked for (and i gave him) all contact info on OM, as in address and phone number. H is not sure if he is going to contact (and if so, how, i.e. in person or on phone) or not.

I Know Them All

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. " So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! "

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

And off they go. At the White House, President Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba.

"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

cute

Said a prayer for you yesterday... hope your meeting went well, or as well as it could be. Going to having many of those myself over the next few months.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Where did Dipi do?! er... go I mean.<hr /></blockquote>She claims she is really busy this week!

Probably means she’s in Cabo! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Conspiracy…

Conspiracy…

Conspiracy!

I'm sorry for you Tom.

What the heck...

{{{{{Tom}}}}}

How 'bout them Yankees? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Dude,

She's DEFINITELY not mad at you.

Didn't you read her other thread?

Ok...you guys need to stop talking about me behind my back! Jeesh. Didn't you know that if you do it here, I WILL ACTUALLY SEE/KNOW IT????

Robby, you sweet little daddy of a new GIANT baby...how the heck are you????

CP: Now come on. Mad at you???? I pray for you in the bathtube for goodness sakes! What more could you ask for????

Mr. Joad: Thanks for the sentiments...I will recap everyone on the other thread.

I am super busy this week. The regional vice president guy in charge of the people in the company that do what I do is in town...and we loaded up on something like 15 appointments this week. So, alas, I cannot slack and be on MB all day (Robby, DO NOT TELL anyone else that I am in Cabo...you were supposed to keep that secret).

Hope you are all doing well!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;"> _.-^^---....,,--
_-- --_
< >)
| |
\._ _./
```--. . , ; .--'''
| | |
.-=|| | |=-.
`-=#$%&%$#=-'
| ; :|
_____.,-#%&$@%#&#~,._____ [/code]</blockquote>How I feel right now...

<blockquote>quote:<hr />CP: Now come on. Mad at you???? I pray for you in the bathtube for goodness sakes! What more could you ask for????<hr /></blockquote>Which thread?

This one!

I'll answer your ?s in a bit...I've got a meeting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

CP: You ok.

Robby: Are you doing alright. What happened.

Just checking in!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I’m still here.

W was very indifferent towards me last night. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I do not want a D.

She says we will “probably” end up D.

How should that make me feel? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Anyway I pushed (stoooopid I know) for a decision.

Didn’t get one.

Just sent her this text message:

I love you. I do not want you to move out. I will miss you if you do. But I understand if you think you need to right now.

Sent it by text message b/c she ridicules me for saying things like that to her. Rolls eyes, gets upset…Uuugghh’s a lot…

And b/c I guess I’m a coward.

I have IC tonight at 7, think I’ll wait until after to post more.

((((((((((((((Robby))))))))))))))

That hug had a "ummmppph," because it was a big one.

I am so sorry you are hurting.

Thanks, and you made me laugh! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

))))))))))))))Robby(((((((((((((

...that's me hugging you back!

What did you think about my text message?

Thanks celly! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />but don't facilitate her moving. <hr /></blockquote>Does that include physically helping her move?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by cellophane:

As far as I can tell from my own experience and that of others I have read, your chance at reconciliation can really be hurt by this. Besides the walls your W has put up between you, this will add a moat... with alligators... and piranas... and blood sucking leeches. A really deep moat.

<hr /></blockquote>I mentioned this in IC last night. Actually said "A good friend of mine told me..."

But sometimes I just can't seem to help firing up the backhoe!

Very good IC session.

DipiT?

What, no computer access in Cabo? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

How ya doin' today?

Dude. WHAT did I SAY about not mentioning CABO!!!! SHEEEESH!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You keep it up, and I will not have that cigar and steak while watching the football game with you. Or worse yet, I will not, and I mean it mister, not give you that pore refining facial while talking about Brad Pitt experience.

Actually, I changed my favorite to Hugh Jackman!!! MMMMMMmmmmmmm. Can we talk about Hugh Jackman??? Huh? Huh? Please, please??????

I gotta admit, Robby, I have missed chatting it up with you!!!! (((((((((((((((Robby)))))))))))))) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SVP is gone, so I can go back to semi-slacking today!

Happy...lost a total of 14 pounds in the last 3 weeks. THAT TOTALLY ROCKS!!! I will be back to my hottie self in no time!!!!!

Hugh...oohhhh, Mr. Jackman, are you out there? Hughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Cabo is good for me!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

DipiT!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You’re back!!

Yeah!!

But what did I tell you about the two day written notice?!? jk

Hugh Jackman is HHHOOOTTTTTTT!!!

Chosen as one of People magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People in the World" 5 years in a row, 2000-2004.

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> If you want to email me, you can at .<hr /></blockquote>I tried this but you must not have gotten it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Happy...lost a total of 14 pounds in the last 3 weeks. THAT TOTALLY ROCKS!!! I will be back to my hottie self in no time!!!!!<hr /></blockquote>That’s awesome! Way to go! The only way I could loose that much weight in 3 weeks would be to cut off my ego-enlarged head! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

And don’t threaten to take away my pore refining facial! The steak is one thing, but a girl’s gotta have her facial!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Dude. WASSSSUPPPP??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I tried to but you must not have gotten it! <hr /></blockquote>Did you get my address right. It is spelled funky...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[ July 23, 2004, 09:26 AM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

Got it!

You can edit it now...

Lots of crazies out there ya know!

A telephone call? That's communication with the outside world! Doctor's discretion. Hey, if alla these nuts could just make phone calls, it could spread. Insanity oozing through telephone cables, oozing into the ears of all those poor sane people, infecting them! Whackos everywhere! A plague of madness.

In fact, very few of us here are actually mentally ill. I'm not saying you're not mentally ill, for all I know you're crazy as a loon. But that's not why you're here. Why you're here is because of the system, because of the economy.

There's the TV. It's all right there. Commercials. We are not productive anymore, they don't need us to make things anymore, it's all automated. What are we for then? We're consumers. Okay, buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen. But if you don't buy a lot of stuff, you know what? You're mentally ill! That's a fact! If you don't buy things...toilet paper, new cars, computerized blenders, electrically operated sexual devices...

SCREWDRIVERS WITH MINIATURE BUILT-IN RADAR DEVICES, STEREO SYSTEMS WITH BRAIN IMPLANTED HEADPHONES, VOICE- ACTIVATED COMPUTERS, AND...

Seriously, more and more people are being defined now as mentally ill. Why? Because they're not consuming on their own. But as patients, they become consumers of mental health care. And this gives the so-called sane people work!
WHOOO! SHOCK THERAPY! GROUP THERAPY! HALLUCINATIONS! THERAPEUTIC DRUGS! IGGIDY DIGGIDY DIG! PERFECT! THE SYSTEM IN HARMONY LIKE A BIG MACHINE...

Dude. That whole post alone was a trip through mental insanity. What the....????

*****edit********

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[ July 23, 2004, 09:56 AM: Message edited by: Justuss ]

You know what "crazy" is? "crazy" is "majority rules". Take germs for example.

Germs?!

In the 18th century there was no such thing! Nobody'd ever imagined such a thing -- no sane person anyway. Along comes this doctor...Semmelweiss, I think. He tries to convince people... other doctors mostly...that there are these teeny tiny invisible "bad things" called germs that get into your body and make you...sick! He's trying to get doctors to wash their hands. What is this guy...crazy? Teeny tiny invisible whaddayou call 'em?..."germs"!

So cut to the 20th century! Last week in fact, right before I got dragged into this hellhole. I order a burger in this fast food joint. The waiter drops it on the floor. He picks it up, wipes it off, hands it to me...like it was all okay.
"What about the germs?" I say. He goes, "I don't believe in germs. Germs are just a plot they made up so they can sell you disinfectants and soap!"

CP, we need to organize an intervention for Robby. He is in desperate need of some help. Now, where did I put that straight jacket ..... AHA...here it is...

Robby...relax buddy. ***edit**** No sudden moves, CP. I'll distract him, then you tackle him..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

[ July 23, 2004, 10:08 AM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

Don't mock me, my friend. It's a condition of "mental divergence". I find myself on another planet, Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though it's a totally convincing reality in every way...I can feel, breathe, hear...nevertheless, Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?

Not divergent, though censored. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I feel under the microscope lately on this site. And while I appreciate that it is a public place, where people of all walks converge to heal, I feel like there is this heightened sensitivity to what I write.

Sorry, Justuss, if my humor, or not humor, depending on who is asking, was offensive.

Feeling the bubble on my silliness burst a little bit. I guess, in the broad scope of things, none of this, A's, broken marriages, destroyed families, is silly.

Some of us fools just seek off the wall, over the top humor to deal.

Please be sure to use the "Report Post" option if you find a very objectionable post you want the moderators to see –

Sorry DipiT… I guess some would prefer we didn’t crack jokes…

Nonetheless, you plea was heard…

The pipe is down.

[ July 23, 2004, 10:57 AM: Message edited by: robby13 ]

Ahhh...well...it is what it is, right Robby?

Some of my fave sayings come to mind:

Get over it
Whatevers
Alrighty then

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

did ya get it?

yes.....

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

DipiT,

You guys got it trouble and I missed it?

I could have really used the laugh. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Anyway, did someone mention Hugh Jackman? Wolverine, mmmmmm.....

What about Viggo Mortenson....Aragorn is my favorite hero. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

RAP

HI DIPIT. Good to see you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Mmmmmmmmm....Vigo...You are right about that, RAP. He is a HOTTTTTTTTTIE too.

Vigo...

Brad...

Hugh....

Robby.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

ooh oooh
I know this one, quick give me a pencil.

LOL Celly <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Good one celly!

You crack me up! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Can I be the mayor here...or at least a city council person. Or at least the supervisor of elections. No...wait, no...this is FL...there is that whole hanging...umm...to the left...chad thing here...bad to be affiliated with that.

Can I at least be the supervisor of the head chief in charge of the night,

janitor.

How 'bout Chief Legal Counsel to Idiotville!!

We need at least one non-idiot! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

You got it...although I do not know how diplomatic I have been lately....

We need legal counsel, not a diploma! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

What are you doing this fine Friday evening? I just got done eating some salad, and a few chicken wings.

Until now I've been playing thread tag with you...

How 'bout you.

Big plans tonight?

Where's my steak?

& cigar?

& football game??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I thought we could do the girl thing. Soy milk shakes, facials, and hugh talk. No?

Sounds great!

I'm there!

Got to walk the dogs first...

Goodie...bring some cookie dough ice cream too.

Ok, but no soy...

I get bloated! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Don't you HATE that....jeesh!

Sure do! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Are you still up?

Nahhhh....now I am.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Good Morning DipiT!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

good afternoon, Robby!

What the...

Wow. TWO threads like this. How do you guys keep them straight?

[ July 25, 2004, 06:23 PM: Message edited by: ncwalker ]

what the what, Robby????? How's the linebacker (aka baby)??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

NC: My world is a little more disney-esque most of the time...really just composed of my selfish rants, and occasional comments by CP and Robby (and some lurkers who drop in from time to time). It is like I have my own, VERY small fan club.

Ohhh yeah...and we talk about Brad Pitt and Hugh Jackman.

Speaking of lurkers, HEY CV, are you out there, you salamander you????

[ July 25, 2004, 08:53 PM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

Now I'm just a lurker! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

My world is [censored]!

Hey, I specifically singled you out as a special friend, not a lurker...come on, Robby.

We have history. We have facials. We have bloating.

Doesn't it all mean something to you?

Now DipiT,

We both know you edited your message...

from "other lurkers" to "some"...

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

JK! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

You KNOW I'm you're bud! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I purposely did that...could not give you the wrong idea.

We had BETTER still be buddies!!

So, how is the future linebacker????

Perfect!

How did you know I was a linebacker? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Feeling angst today...was at the gym this morning, listening to my ipod, and selected an OLD mix that I had put together years ago, and it fed my angst even more:

<blockquote>quote:<hr />
Legend of a Cowgirl

I'm gonna drink my whiskey
I'm gonna have my man
I know you got nothing to say
I'm gonna have my man
Gonna steal their hearts
and save them for another day
Ain't gonna hang my hat
Ain't gonna take off my boots
Ain't nothing gonna stop me in my pursuit
My stage, time to rehearse
Gonna see all the wonders of the universe

CH: Pack my bags and mount my horse
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Spend all my money on absolutely nothing
Need no man to pay for anything
Ain't got no shame, nobody knows my name
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Pecos Bill, couldn't hang for long
A female legend with a song

Such a beautiful day, Such a beautiful day
I think I'll wear my brand new negligee
I'll probably change my mind
It happens every time
Just speak to my ex-fiance
I'm gonna hunt the hunter, gonna serve'em well done
Nowhere to hide, nowhere to run
Up goes the moon, down goes the sun
"Cook my dinner while I shine my gun"

CH: Pack my bags and mount my horse
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Spend all my money on absolutely nothing
Cause there ain't no thing like chickenwing
Ain't got no shame, nobody knows my name
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Pecos Bill, couldn't hang for long
A female legend with a song

Bridge:
I'd give my life to be her
I'd give my live just to be her
I'd give my sight to see her
I'd give my sight just to see her

So here's the way I'm gonna break it down
Speak my mind any time 'cause I got the master plan
Power in my soul, strength from my hand
I'm going up north to claim my land
Won't settle by river, might make me shiver
So look out and hide your fans
I'm a woman on fire with huge desire
To be as good as any man

CH: Pack my bags and mount my horse
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Spend all my money on absolutely nothing
Need no man to pay for anything
Ain't got no shame, nobody knows my name
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Pecos Bill, couldn't hang for long
A female legend with a song....... <hr /></blockquote>Maybe because it is Monday. My whole workout, I was envisioning just opening up a can of KICK YOUR *** on STBXBFLWH.

Ten year old is hurting. Last night, he called WH, and tried to voice his hurt, etc. WH is such an amazing bone head, that he does not get that his actions impact anyone past himself. A1A IDIOT!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

So, my son was upset, wanting to know why it won't stop hurting inside. I told him, it is like when someone dies. Even though we miss that person, wish they had not died, wish we could bring them back, hurt, maybe even sometimes are mad, it does not change a thing. It does not change that they are gone. So, it just takes time. And maybe, the hurt never goes completely away, but eventually, it becomes part of who we are, and we use that pain to remind us of how NOT to be, how we must love and respect our loved ones, how our choices pour out and touch the ones around us, how we are responsible for our actions, and there are consequences that ripple out from those actions.

I told him he needed to let the pain out. And that I loved him. And that I wished we would use all of this to make us closer, stronger, better people.

THEN I WENT TO BED AND DREAMED OF A CERTAIN KICKBOXING MATCH WITH A CERTAIN, BRAINLESS, FOG LADENED, IDIOT MAN, THAT I USED TO TRUST WITH MY HEART, AND MY CHILDREN'S WELL BEING. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

[ July 26, 2004, 08:54 AM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

The more I think about this....the madder I get.

My run this morning did NOTHING for me...apparently need to turn right around and hop back on the treadmill. Would have to be like Forest Gump, running for 15 years, across the country, to get all the anger out, to really come to terms with the cruel, selfish, ugly, evil, nature of what has happened, and more than that, the ONGOING nature of it.

One thing to make a mistake, realize it, learn from it, and fix it. Not one of here on planet earth cannot say they have made a serious mistake in their life that they have had to face after the fact.

It is another thing all together to sit in the middle of all the muck and stink, covered in filth, and just sit there with a smirk on your face. With an arrogant attitude. With a sense of entitlement, like somehow you have the right to punish everyone else around you, as long as YOU are happy. Meanwhile, everyone around you is getting dirty too, and smelling your stench.

MAD! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

{{{{{ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> }}}}}

Robby, **** the facial, you up for a boxing match. I warn you to consider before answering, because I honestly think I could take you.

DipiT-

How ‘bout we just postpone the facials? I was really looking forward to that…

I’m sorry you’re having a bad morning.

I truly wish there were something I could do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Sure, I’ll box ya! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Won’t hit back though… <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I’ll make you the same offer I made to Tom!

I can take a punch!

LOL, picking fights on a forum site?!? We’re going to have to start putting our height and weight in our sig lines!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Me –
Height: 6’3”
Weight: 230

A woman never tells those kinda stats, Robby, like a man would. So, no cigar baby!

I will share that I am 5'6", so you definitely have a height advantage.

And no punching back??? That would not be a fair fight. And I cannot allow you to LET me win...that would make me want to whoop up on you even worse.

Thanks for the sentiments...all part of the healing process, I guess. It sucks to see the kid hurting. He is a good kid!

Ok, then how about this:

Me-
Height: 3'6"
Weight: 320

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I cringed when I read your post about your son's hurt.

I'm so sorry...

First off... DipiT:

Know how you feel. That smug look, the smirk. That deep satisfaction with the thought of possibly causing some pain to her husband. WW gave me the same look several times this morning. First when I asked her about dinner, second when she saw me typing on this posting board. Then says to me "you're not well" <<<smirk>>>

The pain in the kids. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> My S came in the house last week, angry, cranky. I asked what was wrong but he didn't want to talk about it. I told I was here if he did, or he could even call me at the firehouse the next day if he wanted. Well he came out of his room and laid down on the couch next to me. There was a single tear roll down his cheek and he looks at me and says, "you know Dad, sometimes life really sucks"

Normally I don't allow the "sucks" word. But I let it go. I listened. It was painful for me to listen. I wanted to take it all away from him. But it isn't in my power. He wants two parents. He doesn't want to be like the other half who have divorced parents. He was proud to have an intact family. He is scared of being taken away. If his Dad is disposable/replacable, is he replacable too? My kids shouldn't have to be in this place.

My DD, won't talk. She gets very angry, just tells everyone not to talk to her. Says don't touch me, don't look at me, don't think about me. She is angry at both of us because of this. She wants a MOM and DAD. She doesn't understand, or want to understand why Mom and Dad won't be together anymore.

Found some more interesting reading material. Let me get new insight on WW, and myself. Explains alot of WW actions and identified alot of her family life experiences and how they affect her. Explains why her sisters are the way they are.

Second Off .... Robby-

A midget huh? Well I saw a movie once, about 20 years ago... Your knickname isn't Donkey is it?

Oh yeah. 5'8" 165lb (normal weight) hoovering 150 now.

[ July 26, 2004, 03:00 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]

4 year old daughter is mad at me. Keeps asking me "Why did you make Daddy go away?" Or things like "What did you do to make Daddy stop loving you?" Or she will say "I wish Daddy lived here with us, and you lived away at the apartment."

That stings a little bit. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

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Then, Beavis, or STBXBFLWH called me today to see if I had registered yet for the coparenting for divorced families class that Florida requires before a D can be filed yet? What I am realizing is, that even though I did not want this, did not ask or deserve his treatment, did everything I could to try and salvage our family, spare our kids pain, etc, that I will basically be doing EVERYTHING that needs to be done to bring this D to fruition. Because, basically, if I don't do it, he won't. Not he won't because he doesn't want to, but, he won't because he is a A1A slacker, and NEVER does anything, NEVER brings anything to fruition. I am shocked as hell that he even had the balls/wherewithall to have a **** affair. our whole lives it has been WH having all the grand plans, the "big picture thinker" he liked to call it, and it was me, facilitating everything, bringing it to fruition, picking up the pieces, cleaning up the messes from his half baked ideas, etc.

So, just like everything else, I will have to actually do the D dirty work...or remain married to this man who wants to cheat on me, hurt his family, and be the most selfish, narcissistic person I know, for the rest of my life, with no ability to move on, etc.

DipiT, my WW wanted me to pay for her class. I told her I had. She gets money from me every week and gets a small paycheck, and has the $7,000 she took from our joint account.

WTF <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> She can pay the $35 out of the money she already confiscated.

Dip-i-T-doo-dah, dip-i-T-aye
My, oh my what a wonderful day!
Plenty of sunshine heading my way
Dip-i-T-doo-dah, dip-i-T-aye

Mister Bluebird on my shoulder
It's the truth, it's actch'll
Ev'rything is satisfactch'll
Dip-i-T-doo-dah, dip-i-T-aye
Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

DipiT - are things better today? So sorry about what they little one said to you - kids are great, aren't they, we don't put their parent down in front of them, and we come out looking like the bad guy. If it helps, I said something similar to my mom when my parents were going through their D - something to the effect of "why did Dad have to leave -he and I were friends - you don't even like to do stuff" - yes, Mom and I are GREAT friends today, and from the minute it left my lips, I knew I'd regret it (BUT I was older than your little one, so I actually knew what I was saying) Anyway, I'm sure she didn't mean it, she just doesn't know how to deal with the crazy emotions that she forced to face.

I really hope you're better today - praying for you (and the kids!!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Oh where, oh where has my little dipi gone?
Oh where, oh where can she be?
With her temper cut short and her hair cut long.
Oh where, oh where can she be?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Hey...do I have a short temper, Robby?????

Anyhoo, hanging in there. Don't feel so great...trying to come down with something.

Went to the co-parenting for divorced parents class. Heard all these heartbreaking stories about what these children from broken homes have suffered, and it literally was killing me. I felt myself choking down tears the whole class. I just hate that my kids have to hurt like this. None of us signed up for this.

So, at the end of the class, I got my certificate for the courts, and say my polite good byes to idiot, I mean, WH, and leave him sitting at the table finishing up his evaluation.

He calls me about 5 minutes later.

WH:What did you think of the class?
Me: I thought it was heartbreaking. It really stinks that so many children have to suffer this. What did you learn?
WH: (Pause) I learned that I am doing a lot of things right?
Me: ::silence::

In my mind, not aloud, I am thinking "WHAT THE F ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????? YOU ARE DOING A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT????? THAT IS WHAT YOU GOT FROM IT???? YOU DID NOT GET ONE OUNCE OF GUILT, CUZ I DID, AND I AM NOT BREAKING UP THIS FAMILY? AND YOU CANNOT SEE HOW YOUR SELFISH BEHAVIOR IS HURTING THESE INNOCENT KIDS. AND YOU LEARNED NOTHING ABOUT ALL THE STATS OF THE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS, SEXUALITY PROBLEMS, PROBLEMS FORMING THEIR OWN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS???? YOU GOT NOTHING FROM THIS CLASS!!!!!"

WH: I realized that I am handling things right. Not talking about their mother rudely, providing the right type of answers.

Me: Well, if anything, WH, I learned that there is a lot of things that I am NOT doing so well. Or, there are a lot of things that I want to do much better."

WH: Well, me too, me too, but, it was a relief to see that many of the things we were doing are the right things.

I just sat there, silent, almost crashing my car while I drove home, listening to this bull****, having the biggest piece of proof ever before seen by another human being that I am ready to be divorced from this selfish, idiotic, narcissistic man.

That was Tuesday pm.

The rest of the week, I have had some MAJOR career demands. And not feeling that well.

Hope you are all doing well.

Gee DipiT, you may have been at the class with my WW. She went on Tuesday too.

Then she came back and told me how much she should have the kids to take care of them and protect them.

I thought the same thing you did. She fed the kids hot dogs (again) yesterday while I was at work. That is the extent of her protection and caring .... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Took another 3 hour nap today. It's hard to stay up during the day in FLA when you are living on Las Vegas Time.

Sorry for your situation. I can't believe he is actually proud of himself. Part of the reason he's not saying anything to the kids is he doesn't really care enough I think. He is consumed with himself... he doesn't have time to talk about you DipiT, or probably anyone else. Its all about him.

WW even told me she didn't want to prevent me from visiting my kids. "VISITING !!!"

"VISITING !!! ......MY OWN KIDS"

MY OWN KIDS .... VISIT THEM!

Good Grief, is she so naive that she would think I am satisfied visiting my own children?

You heard the stories, I've read the statistics, I've seen the results in her own family, children of divorce. Even my own, with how it affected my neice. Of course my WW thinks that is different.

Everything is different now, Affairs are bad except for hers... her's is different.

Children are scarred by divorce and develope behaivor problems .... except ours, ours are different.

Meeting a stranger on the internet and meeting him for sex is outrageous .... except for HW Steve, he is different.

The only thing that is really different her perceptions.

Sorry for the VENT on you post DipiT. Have a sinus infection and it is whipping my butt right now. So guess I'm cranky. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

[ July 29, 2004, 08:51 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]

Tom,

Vent away buddy...I can totally relate to everything you just said.

Robby...you out there...not talking to me anymore??

I go off the boards...stop spending so much time on here, and I am so saddened to see all these new names. All these new broken hearts. It really stinks. I am so so so so so sorry that people are going through this. I hate adultery. Always have...always will.

DipiT!

Been a crazy day!

Have you caught up on the Jelly thread yet! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I'm just about to paste! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

What is happening...you are sharing a love letter with you W?

Nope.

5 yr. anniversary tomorrow...

Trying to do everything perfect...

Hey, wait a second!

Go catch up on the thread young lady!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I missed you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Saw your post yesterday, tore my heart out. I'm sure my experience will be equally devastating...

Tom might need some cookie dough too... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Ok...I read it. What did you end up saying on the card?

A girl NEVER reveals her secrets! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

That is where you are wrong...girls tell each other every sordid detail. Our local roon talk is probably cruder than the boys locker room.

So??? Don't make me get in a cat fight with you.

Did you read everything you missed? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby, your worrying me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Put your pants back on and wipe that paint off your face. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Oh and BTW, sick as a dog here. Nose is running like a faucet and the other end is almost as bad <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> .

WW saw fit to go out for dinner with her friend though and leave me to cook for the kids.

She wants money from me to go to a parenting class, but she has plenty of cash to go out to dinner every week.

Robby, lets see the letter. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Did I leave the web cam on AGAIN? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

There was no letter...

Just writing inside a card.

Sorry you're sick! Guess you're staying in tonight, huh?

Yep, staying in tonight.

Hey!

A man walks into a bar and says, "....

"Excuse me fine barkeep, I'd like a pint of beer"

The barkeep serves the man his pint and says, ".....

"That'll be four dollars young man." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The man pulls out a $20 bill and hands it to the barkeep.

"Sorry sir," says the barkeep, "but I can't except that."

The man puts away his $20 bill and pulls out a $10 bill and hands it to the barkeep, but he rejects his money again.

"What's going on here?!" the man askes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Pointing to a bright neon sign the barkeep explains, "This is a SINGLES bar." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Figured we might be spending some time there. Robby remember to bring alot of ones$$$. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Singles bars?

How 'bout Lowes? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

YIKES!

Guess that was a stupid way to add the joke. You all read the punchline first. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> YIKES! <hr /></blockquote>??

Lowes? I don't get it!

Anyhoo, how is everyone this fine morning.

Robby, how are you faring, my friend?

Good Morning DipiT!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The Reasoning behind Lowe’s

I love Lowe’s. Used to go there almost daily when we had our house, before we moved to FL. Really enjoyed working on/around the house/lawn/pond. Always went for tools/supplies, never for the darker side.

I found out rather quickly that home improvement superstores are quickly becoming America’s newest pick up joint!

Although I’m a FWH, I never “hooked up” at Lowe’s, but was approached A LOT! Even when I was dirty, sweaty, grimy; in the middle of my latest project. I’d suggest Lowe’s as somewhere to meet someone special over a single’s bar ANYDAY! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Robby, how are you faring, my friend?<hr /></blockquote>Overall, pretty well…

Today's struggle:

I grew up in a (very) small town in North Carolina. Raised in Presbyterian church lead by the Reverend Calvin Thielman. One of the fondest memories I have is of Billy Graham sitting in the row directly behind my family. We received a letter from him when my mother died in 1999.

When I was 15 or so struggles with predestination led my father to take us to different churches, first Episcopalian then Lutheran.

Today I find myself in the lobby.

I’m sorry. Don’t really know where all that came from…

What are you doing this weekend?

Robby,

You are in the lobby? Awww, honey, you gotta come on in. The music is great, the company even better, and you do not seem like the type to sit out a dance or miss out on the action. You know you wanta... PLLLLLEEEEEAAASSSSSE?

Lowe's, huh? Hmmmm...I had planned on balancing my checkbook and heading to Lowe's to get some mole cricket poison for my lawn, and maybe, a few plants for the front garden. So, what you are saying is, I should go get dolled up first, before I head there???????? Hmmmmmm....

And, what kinda hottie must you be, to be getting propositioned, while dirty and sweaty, no less, by the desperate chics at the Lowe's.

Aha. Well, there goes the Lowe's idea for me. I do not care to be lumped into the "desperate chics at Lowes's" category. So, I will go with my hair in a pony tail, shorts and dirty work shirt, and no makeup on get up I had originally planned to go in.

Besides, I cannot think about Lowe's, Ybor, or the rest until the D is final.

Did you hear from your WW??

I’ll find my way in, just trying to figure out how…

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> you do not seem like the type to sit out a dance<hr /></blockquote>On a literal note here… Never been very fond of dancing. It’s a weakness of mine, I know… W loves to dance. I’m a paranoid freak! Everyone’s watching! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I never said the women at Lowe’s were desperate. Far from it I think… Maybe just smarter, tired of the bar scene…

Typical approach:

Excuse me.

Batting eyes

Can you help me with this?

I’m trying to fix/do __________ myself and I really don’t know where to begin…

Great for the old ego…

<blockquote>quote:<hr />So, I will go with my hair in a pony tail, shorts and dirty work shirt, and no makeup on get up I had originally planned to go in.<hr /></blockquote>IMHO this is the best way to get a guy…Maybe add a baseball cap! And a clean shirt. C’mon now!

You can wait until after D to reel them in...but I bet manly men checking you out would be great for the old ego! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I only wear makeup on Tuesday! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Did you hear from your WW??<hr /></blockquote>panic…

is she wandering now? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

W called to check on S this morning, most likely before she found the card. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Besides Lowe’s and planting, what else is new? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey Robby!

Was laid up all weekend with a SPLITTING migraine. Hormonal headaches...gotta love them.

I am just a ball of hormone's, aren't I.

So, alas, I never made it to the meat market, I mean, Lowe's. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

A migraine huh? Sorry to hear that. Hope you feel better today! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hormonal headache?? Be honest…

You got all excited about Lowe’s and pulled your ponytail back too tight, didn’t ya?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I wish. PMS brings migraines. Nothing so exciting and exotic as re-entering the dating game at Lowes! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Robby, did your W get the card????? Come on...inquiring minds want to know.

What's the difference between a pit bull and a woman with PMS?

Lipstick. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

W did get the card. She never mentioned it so I finally asked her yesterday if she read it. She said she did but didn’t know what to say. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

W ended up staying in WPB with her brother and SIL to see the second show last night. I had S all weekend!!

It was great! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

How is our future linebacker, anyway?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

He’s perfect! But mobile now…

Wow! That boy can go!

We watched FindingNemoMonstersIncIceAgeTheEmpereor’sNewGroove several times!

He’s soooo cute!

If you sing: If your happy and you know it clap your hands…

He does!!

It’s amazing…he’s advanced! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

If your happy and you know it stomp your feet.

Ahhh...love those days! My kids are bigger, more resistant to cuddling, etc.

Love that baby with all your might Robby! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby, is my thread so NOT alluring anymore. The A.D.D. not prevelant enough, etc.

CP, where are you??

Anyone, bueller, bueller.

Kids songs.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I love them. I still sing them in the fire truck, drives my guys crazy. Which, of course, is why I do it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Favorites....

Wheels on the Bus
There's a hole in the bottom of the Sea
and certainly ....
Hurry Hurry Drive the Fire Truck <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Never heard that one...the fire truck version...how does that go?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I still sing them in the fire truck, drives my guys crazy. Which, of course, is why I do it.<hr /></blockquote>Now YOU’RE worrying me!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Sorry DipiT, thought you were in serious mode today! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Been thinking about you both a lot today...

others too...

adultery sucks! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Hurry Hurry Drive the Fire Truck
Hurry Hurry Drive the Fire Truck
Hurry Hurry Drive the Fire Truck
Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding

Hurry Hurry climb the ladder
Hurry Hurry climb the ladder
Hurry Hurry climb the ladder
Ding Ding Ding Ding DIng

Hurry Hurry pull the fire hose
Hurry Hurry pull the fire hose
Hurry Hurry pull the fire hose
Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding

Hurry Hurry squirt the water
Hurry Hurry squirt the water
Hurry Hurry squirt the water
Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding

Etc Etc Etc... On and on and on. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Love to sing that on the way to a fire. Puts the guys right in the mood.

LOVE IT!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! That made my day!!! What is the melody..is it akin to any other nursery rhymes?

Robby...never too serious to hear form you dude...and what, you stay away if I am not all laughs! Sheesh..what is up with that???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

No, just couldn't keep up with you today! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

TJ- Maybe you should have your guys sing at the fire...

You know, cheer it up a bit! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Kinda a Guys and Dolls save your house... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

That's not a bad idea Robby, except they are like a bunch of snarling animals at a fire.... that's why i try to sooth them with some of my vocal crooning.

Oh and I almost forgot about

John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Seredipity, I am back from Toronto. WHile I was there, I saw a kind of mixed nuts, the name was Seredipity. That very fancy mixed. I thought about you, full with good things. It is your WH's lost for doing such bad thing to you.

LH: GIRL!!!!!!!! I MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!! HOW THE HECK ARE YOU??????????

Well, the nuts part is about right...but the rest, well, who knows!!! Email me at my private account and we will catch up!!! :-)

John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt

I LOVE THAT ONE!!! Tom...that made my night! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Morning DipiT! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Morning singing Fire Dude!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just back from a nice long weekend at Paradise Island, Bahama's, mon.

Robby...how are you doing?

CP...hanging in there?

Tom...any new developments?

CV55...still out there being my feisty soul sister?

Lostnhurt...are you doing ok?

MBers...I missed you. Got some sun. Went parasailing (MAN WAS THAT AWESOME)...drank plenty of bahama mamma's, bought myself a couple of sarongs. Probably gained 5 lbs...and, finally got some color (I live in Florida, but look more like I am from Alaska!

Anyway...had a nice time, missed you all here...highly recommend a tropical vacation to all those lost, hurting souls out there! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

DipiT!!!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby......how are you????????

Getting that baby ready for BUCS training, I see!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You disappeared!

Again!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Have you read up on the Jelly! thread?

I’m ok, better now that you’re back!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Did you say you were gone for a long weekend or week? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Seemed longer than a few days!

Glad you're back!

Now stay for a while would ya!?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby,

I am deathly afraid of the Jelly thread...I feel it is like other terrible bad habits one can take up, and it makes me lose brain cells everytime I click on it. Can you at least point me to a couple of pages to focus on?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I left on Thursday night, and came back last night, so it was a darn long weekend. I was at Atantis on Paradise Island. Beautiful weather. Beautiful people. Beautiful beaches. I went parasailing, which was AWESOME...I had no computer or cell access, which damn near killed me, but, I had fun.

I am even committed more than ever to write a book. The romance novel I read while lounging by the water had 3-4 adulterous subplots in it, with kids involved and everything, EAs and PAs, and it just made me want to puke!! I think I could do it...

I missed you too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

panting

Chasing an elephant right now in Idiotville…

pant

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I am deathly afraid of the Jelly thread...I feel it is like other terrible bad habits one can take up, and it makes me lose brain cells everytime I click on it. <hr /></blockquote>pant what!?!pant

I

pant

love

pant

Atlantis!!!

pant

pant

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I had no computer or cell access, which damn near killed me<hr /></blockquote>pant what!?!pant

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I am even committed more than ever to write a book.

I think I could do it...<hr /></blockquote>Go for it!!! What would it be about?

Crap! Side Stitch!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Hey...I know I did not look as good in my bathing suit as those pre-puberty 14 year old girls, but there is no need to call me an elephant, and threaten me with a gun. It was not that BAD...no one was running screaming off the beach...sheesh! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I would write a romance novel. I think I am an idiot romantic enough...just one that does not involve all the As that current novels are comprised of.

I am also about 2 chapters into a autobiography of my own A experiences...

deleted because of a double post.

[ August 10, 2004, 06:37 PM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Hey...I know I did not look as good in my bathing suit as those pre-puberty 14 year old girls, but there is no need to call me an elephant, and threaten me with a gun. It was not that BAD...no one was running screaming off the beach...sheesh!<hr /></blockquote>Ok, this made me laugh!!! But you know I wasn’t talking about you, right?

Teary Graemlin worried me a bit…

Besides…

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I live in Florida, but look more like I am from Alaska!<hr /></blockquote>If I wanted to poke fun I would have called you pastey or elmers!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I know I did not look as good in my bathing suit as those pre-puberty 14 year old girls<hr /></blockquote>Still laughing, but I’m sure there’s no truth here! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Well, with my new "tan," I look more like I am from, well, maybe Ohio or something...

He he... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I saw 14 year old girls there who were in hooker training. There is no way I would let my barely teenage girl go out like these girls were dressed. Their maincured nails, make up, hair extensions, boobs hanging out, etc. I would have said "MARCH RIGHT BACK UPSTAIRS AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON GIRLIE!"

I know what I did when I was their age, and let's just say I had a bad boy 18 year old boyfriend, and my parents were too naive to think their precious, straight A, at church every Sunday daughter, would be up to anything quesitonable.

My poor kids. They have ME as a mother....there will be no getting away with anything.

[ August 10, 2004, 11:04 AM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]

Hmmm.Somebody around here has a male harem.

Robby,remember those boundaries. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

O

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Hmmm.Somebody around here has a male harem.<hr /></blockquote>I don't understand this comment at all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Please explain...

Male harem? Yikes. That kinda hurts my feelings.

Certainly not my aim. I wish with all of my heart that Robby's wife will learn how to forgive him, he forgive her, and they somehow fix this mess they BOTH made in their marriage (as both Robby and Robby's wife have been BS & WS).

Not sure that Robby or CP or any other MBer has been any more supportive of me than they are of any other MBer on the board, but, I guess I can understand the mindset.

Thanks for the perspective Octobergirl.

Ok, NOW I'm upset. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Are you ****ing kidding me?

I should go before I say more to offend... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

There is absolutely nothing untoward or inappropriate going on here...

It's a shame that needs to be explained!!!

Everyone go back to your appropriate cliques...

Robby,

I guess I can understand. People have a heightened awareness of friendships and associations here, and are ultra sensitive to the POTENTIAL of crossing boundaries.

I am not mad at Octobergirl. I respect and understand that she would want to question that.

We will always have that in the back of our minds, WS or BS, for the rest of our lives...is this relationship going too far, conflicting with my marriage, etc. Kinda a good thing, dontcha think? We will never make those mistakes again.

I have an immense amount of respect for your marriage...lil Robby, aka BUC linebacker, needs your marriage to survive. I know our friendship will never be inappropriate. We do not meet each others needs, besides very casual friendship, do not exchange any kind of pertinent personal information, barely know anything beyond the posted persona here...

Just get back to trying to heal your marriage, exchanging ideas on the site, and finding a safe place to rest your mind, with out the worry of venturing into unsafe, inappropriately personal, identifying conversations (like the kind you could have with a flesh and blood person right there). I think it safer to have friendships here when you are lost and lonely...than seeking them elsewhere, where they can quickly spin out of control.

I am not a popular person on the site...not the first time I have heard this feedback from MB posters. I guess my style gets too loose, too irreverent.

I don't mind the criticism, because there is nothing to defend.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm still missing it.

What, exactly, prompted that?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I am not a popular person on the site...not the first time I have heard this feedback from MB posters. I guess my style gets too loose, too irreverent.<hr /></blockquote>Then I'm really surprised I haven't been banned!

What "crossed" a boundary?

I would think the cookie dough and facial parties would have been more worrisome!

Tell me, I need to know...

Just a lot of friendly talk about tans and bathing suits (maybe the thought of friendship with less clothing, even cyber clothing, seemed worrisome). Or maybe, it was something she wanted to point out long ago.

Either way, I am not worried. We have an innocent, PUBLIC friendship...so, no secrets here. Sheesh...our dialogue is more open to public scrutiny than the president and his friends.

Robby, again, I would rather people keep us on the up and up. We will always have the A possibility on our minds. And ya know, that is good. That is what Harley and the whole MB principle calls for. Ultra heightened awareness of the possibilities.

I have been monitoring you two. Your friendship is not crossing any boundaries I have seen. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

This whole affair mess we are in. Who can we talk to? I have no one but my MC and you guys. MC doesn't REALLY count since he hasn't gone through it.

FS OR BS - we have a camaraderie the rest of the world will not know, albeit an unfortunate one.

It is nice to sometimes talk to someone who just "knows."

Then you say "This," they just say "Yeah. I know."

Robby used a magic word with me once. I see a young man with his head screwed on straight. Who has made some mistakes and who is biding his time hoping for forgiveness.

DipiT and have have posted back and forth strongly to one another. I see a young woman who fought hard to save her marriage and held her head high in the process.

Both are alone, but really alone in that the "real" people around them don't KNOW.

I am asked at work "NCW, you seem sad." What do I say to that? How much effort would it take to explain what it is like? To listen to them say the...

Man, you shoulda left...
You oughta get yerself a girl...
I woulda killed the guy...

All talk from a group of people who don't know. Who aren't in the club. So now Robby and DipiT are just chatting. They can be sad and it's easy because they don't have to EXPLAIN the sad.

If two soldiers are chatting after facing combat because they now belong to a club, are the inappropriate?

So Robby is a guy and DipiT a girl. It is a public forum. This is not some chat room where they are ready to Alt-TAB to something else when their spouse walks in. Why would they choose to do this HERE of all places? A HUB of marital fidelity. Most of the time these two say GOOD things about their spouses.

We lost one 2 weeks ago because of this "scrutiny" and it was pretty sad to see it happen.

NCW

Well, NC, you are just about one of the most up and up people I know here in MB land, so a endorsement from you is worth a million.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm sorry if this observation induced anger.I knew it may but I'm sorry,robby,if you go back and read some of your posts to dipi,IMHO it's a bit too unorthodox and inappropriate for two people,in the midst of adultery,marriages on the rocks and a forum for trying to repair said marriages for statements like:

"I missed you"
"I'm so glad you're back"
"DipiT!!!!!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> :
"Ok,I'm better now that you're back" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ETC

Not to mention songs,pictures out of keyboard keys,songs to dipiT not to mention flirtations back or what I would consider flirtations.I mean when I saw that castle a while ago,it threw me.The time,thought and effort to do that picture for someone that was at one time just another MB poster.I don't know of anyone else having this type of dialogue since I have been here.And hardly any women are posting anymore,it's dipi and robby for the most part.

All I am suggesting,take it or leave it,is if I came on here and saw all the discussion between the two of you as a spouse,I would be concerned.It makes me uncomfortable reading it and it's these types of "friendships",online or otherwise that are born innocently enough but can often turn into more.AND,the usual and most glaring point is that the friendship of most importance on this thread is between the opposite sex.This is not the time to encourage an opposite sex "friendship" in the manner I see IMO.

I used to post to you more dipi months ago.I don't know why but I really considered not saying anything.Maybe I shouldn't have.But NCwalkers feelings do not mirror my own.We have gone beyond discussion of how to repair your marriages.

I have not been compelled to interfere with anyone's discussion before until now so again,I do not mean to inflict any more pain on anyone here,we all have more than our share so continue on if you want.It is just an honest,from the heart observation as if I was there witnessing it all firsthand.I will not post to this thread again.

O

Thanks O, for your feedback.

As a classic conflict avoider, let's please let this stop here. No more responses, please.

She is right. I am no longer in Marriage building mode. And from the looks of this board day after day, with more and more really hurting people sharing their stories, there are much bigger fish to fry, and much more useful ways to use this resource, than the silly rantings of this thread.

This thread was closed at the thread-starters (SerendipiT ) request.