First 10 minutes into recovery...now what? - 06/30/04 03:03 PM
OK. Three days into second Plan B (blew the first one), WS emails me that he has ended A with OW. D-day was 6 months ago and WH moved into his own apartment soon after. Plan A for first 5 months. Started Plan B early/mid June and blew it first time with contact and endless unkept promises (on his end). Restarted new Plan b 3 days ago.
Here's message: I am ending all contact with her and will not see her anymore. I talked to her Monday night and told her I needed to go home. I spent some time with her last night but did not say I was not going home. I have given her back her key and she has given back my spare key. She is going out of town for the holiday this evening and I left her a note at her house this morning saying that it is over and I need to fix what I have broken at home and to please not call or see me anymore. That is the truth. I do not plan on taking any of her calls or seeing her anymore. I am excited about seeing you and my family. This is the truth – it’s where I’m at, and I’m 100% sure that I am going to focus 100% on you.
So now what? WS has his own apartment until end of July. We are both thinking (my IC too) that we should start slow and have WS stay at own apartment initially? (We haven't been together in 6 months, and it would feel horrible to have him stay on couch) I'm not really ready for SF right now, given all that has happened I don't think this will take long, but I don't want to feel pressured.
Does his letter to OW constitute a NC letter? I think is does. I never even suggested it, but he did it all on his own. He says that she will probably call in the next day or two, but he will tell her what he wrote in letter (since she will not have had chance to see it). I suggested that he not answer at all, but he said "I'll do it my way. I have to be strong enought to do that much. Then she won't call again." They work at the same office, so may need to see each other. He will be looking for another job in the meantime.
I'll just enjoy these next few hours, as I have heard/read that "in recovery" is no picnic.
Any suggestions for first days in recovery?
FE
Here's message: I am ending all contact with her and will not see her anymore. I talked to her Monday night and told her I needed to go home. I spent some time with her last night but did not say I was not going home. I have given her back her key and she has given back my spare key. She is going out of town for the holiday this evening and I left her a note at her house this morning saying that it is over and I need to fix what I have broken at home and to please not call or see me anymore. That is the truth. I do not plan on taking any of her calls or seeing her anymore. I am excited about seeing you and my family. This is the truth – it’s where I’m at, and I’m 100% sure that I am going to focus 100% on you.
So now what? WS has his own apartment until end of July. We are both thinking (my IC too) that we should start slow and have WS stay at own apartment initially? (We haven't been together in 6 months, and it would feel horrible to have him stay on couch) I'm not really ready for SF right now, given all that has happened I don't think this will take long, but I don't want to feel pressured.
Does his letter to OW constitute a NC letter? I think is does. I never even suggested it, but he did it all on his own. He says that she will probably call in the next day or two, but he will tell her what he wrote in letter (since she will not have had chance to see it). I suggested that he not answer at all, but he said "I'll do it my way. I have to be strong enought to do that much. Then she won't call again." They work at the same office, so may need to see each other. He will be looking for another job in the meantime.
I'll just enjoy these next few hours, as I have heard/read that "in recovery" is no picnic.
Any suggestions for first days in recovery?
FE