Marriage Builders
Posted By: Trinity Brianne the wedding - 07/22/04 07:50 PM
Ok, I know it's been some time since I've been here, but here's the scoop on the wedding I went to where my ex and his OW attended also.

For some background, I was posting here about how to go about attending this event. Go alone, take a friend, or bring a date. I wanted to make him jealous and regret who he chose <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> , and I wanted to make her feel threatened by my presence <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> , and do so with grace and style and class <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . LOL

Many of you gave me great advice on how to accomplish this. I will tell you what I did and how it went. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I chose to bring a girl friend with me. I dressed in a white halter style dress. It was semi form fitting, and had a short skirt--about mid thigh or a tad higher. I wore pink flip-flop shoes with a small spiked heel. I wore a silver ankle bracelet with pink stones in it. Over the dress, because it was a cool night, I wore a pink, crocheted poncho. I had pink chandelier earings, a pink and white choker necklace, and a pink dangly bracelet. And a pink clutch purse. My friend, being a little bit on the heavy side, wore a stappy halter style mini dress in blue paisley. She looked stunning.

We were the life of the party! We laughed and danced, and mingled with everyone. Old friends of mine and my ex's were coming up to me and hugging me telling me how beautiful I looked. There wasn't a man, or woman for that matter, at the wedding who didn't stare at us.

The OW, who is about 20 pounds heavier and at least 5 dress sizes larger than me, wore a mid calf length, green floral summer dress. She wore no makeup, except for the standard foundation she wears to fill in her acne scars. She did nothing special with her hair. She was trying, unsuccessfully, to be lively and upbeat...attempting to mingle with my friends as if they were now hers. But to her dismay, they gaffed her off, to instead rave about the "new" me.

My ex also was not feeling very comfortable. He knew exactly what he lost, and each and everytime she would try to put her arms around him, or hold his hand, he forcibly pushed her off of him. She stormed out several times in anger at his rejection. Of course, this did not go unnoticed by anyone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The bride's son came up to me, and said..."Boy, you are sure making him regret the day he lost you!"

My friend met someone that night. He told her that when we walked in (we were about 10 minutes late) every one of the groomsmen's eyes were on us. (just to remind you, this was an outside wedding held in the couple's yard) She asked him what was the first thing they noticed about us. (My friend is very large chested and always worries that that is the first thing the guys notice.) He told her that it was our smiles. He said we looked like we were having the time of our lives, that we were happy and content with who we were, and that he wanted to be a part of it. She also asked if my ex and the OW fought after we left, and he said, hell, they were fighting the whole night WHILE you were there, and everyone saw it.

It was a fabulous night! I did exactly what I wanted to do. I got out of it exactly what I wanted. And I cannot remember having as much fun as I did that night. And the funny thing is, I wasn't even trying to make them uncomfortable. I was purely having a good time, and that in and of itself was all it took to make them squirm. And I think the best part was that EVERYONE who knew me and my ex when we were married, first, rallied around me, and second took just as much pleasure in their discomfort as I did! LOL


My ex could not take his eyes off of me. Which OW and everyone else noted. He even at one point, came to the edge of the dance floor to watch me dance. OW did not take a liking to that at all. LOL

The only bad part of it all, is that the whole event stirred up feelings in me that I thought were dead. I don't know if it was the ambience of the night, the whole idea of being back in town, or what it was exactly, but I have not been able to stop thinking about my ex. (He is still trying to reconcile...even with the D final.) I'm not sure what to make of all that. But I guess that would a topic for another post....

Oh, and I guess I could tell you that he called me over into a corner at one point while OW was not around, and kissed me. We were kinda out of sight, but a few people noticed, and were very happy at what they saw. (all of our friends would love to see us reconciled) I'm not sure what to think....

Anyway, all in all it was a great time, and I'm glad I went, and the bride was beautiful and the groom very handsome, and it was a beautiful wedding!
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: the wedding - 07/22/04 07:56 PM
Oh....that was a wonderful, WONDERFUL read!

(((happy hugs)))

- Kimmy
Posted By: Trinity Brianne Re: the wedding - 07/22/04 08:21 PM
Glad you enjoyed it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Posted By: hope4future Re: the wedding - 07/22/04 08:32 PM
Good for you!!! The only thing I would caution against - any more kissing in the corner. You don't want to lower yourself to the OW's level. It's just more sneaking around for the thrill of it for him. Yes, he sees what he lost - but has he learned the value of commitment enough to not make the same mistakes?
Posted By: Trinity Brianne Re: the wedding - 07/22/04 08:40 PM
Hope~

You are so right. I really wasn't expecting him to kiss me. I thought maybe he just wanted to say something to me without her seeing him talk to me. I don't know, maybe I should have seen it coming.

And the last thing I want is to be lowered to OW's level.

As far as his value of committment, I guess that is the thing that has always kept me from reconciliation. His words sound nice, but his track record proves otherwise.

After he kissed me, I said, "what, have you realized the grass isn't greener on the other side?" And he said, "Yeah. I am SO not happy with her." I said, "Well, you made your choice...and I made mine." and walked away from him.
Posted By: What AmIDoing? Re: the wedding - 07/22/04 08:53 PM
TB

You're story is yummylicious!

Ditto on the no kissing though... you don't want to get cooties do you? Hehehehehe
Posted By: GirlGardener Re: the wedding - 07/22/04 11:52 PM
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Posted By: hope4future Re: the wedding - 07/23/04 12:27 AM
LOL!! You sooooo rock!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It sounds like your friend found a really neat guy, too! Maybe he has a brother. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Posted By: Trinity Brianne Re: the wedding - 07/23/04 01:59 AM
LOL @ Hope! I wish he did have a brother! LOL He does sound...how did WhatAmIDoing put it??...yummylicious!!! I am so happy for my friend. She deserves a good guy.

I'm glad you all enjoyed my fun. It was the best revenge I could have asked for. In fact, one of my ex's friends said to me, "You're getting all your revenge out in one night, aren't you?" LOL And I did, and it felt good! So, that was for all of us BS's who all want it, but don't get it! (The revenge, that is, LOL!)
Posted By: *Blondblossom* Re: the wedding - 07/23/04 06:14 AM
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I'm happy for you but I'd be very "carefull" about "taking this man" back.

Think about one thing: OW turned her back and "what's he up to?"
If he has changed, this wouldn't be neccessary would it???
If he wants to "recouncil" then it's time for him to stand on his own two feet and not to depend on others to finance him.
You can begin to "trust" him when he starts to "take action".

But I'm still giggling when I think about the wedding. You have all reasons to be a "proud gal"! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

take care and hugs
bb
Posted By: Orchid Re: the wedding - 07/23/04 06:24 AM
U dun' good! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.
Posted By: Debbra Re: the wedding - 07/23/04 03:16 PM
Well done:) You really made me smile <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Posted By: Trinity Brianne Re: the wedding - 07/23/04 04:53 PM
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> Think about one thing: OW turned her back and "what's he up to?"
If he has changed, this wouldn't be neccessary would it???
If he wants to "recouncil" then it's time for him to stand on his own two feet and not to depend on others to finance him.
You can begin to "trust" him when he starts to "take action". </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BB~

You are so right! And it is exactly why my D is final, and I live 100 miles away from him, and why my life is so much better! He's been talking about reconciliation since September of last year. But he has yet to kick OW out, or prove to me that he can financially support himself (let a lone me and my son), or attend a church, or go to IC.

So even though, I have these feelings, I am smart enough not to act on them. Maybe if I could see a real change in him, rather than hear how he says he'll change, maybe then I would put a little more effort into trying.

And not only that, I know that God has something better in store for me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Posted By: FamilyMatters Re: the wedding - 07/23/04 04:59 PM
This is a great story and you have a fantastic perspective!

Words? BLAH! make him show you thru his actions.
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