Recap, Update, and E-mail from WW - 04/26/06 03:17 AM
Hi,
I'd like to give a recap and update of my situation and see if any folks here are willing to offer me any support and/or advice. [I tend to be too wordy, so I'll try to make it quick.]
My WW moved out 7 months ago and immediately moved in with the married (but soon-to-be divorced) OM. The A had been going on for about 3 months before WW moved out. There were many signs of an affair over those 3 months, but I trusted WW completely and had no clue what was going on.
I have exposed to my in-laws, OMW, and WW's pastor (the pastor who married us). My in-laws have been very kind to me, but they seem to want to pretend like this isn't really happening.
I've consulted with SH and have been following his advice to the best of my ability. Not much has changed over the past 5 months or so. I've "Plan A'd" as best as I could via e-mail, but really, I've had very little contact with WW since she moved out.
In January, WW agreed to talk to SH, but never followed through on it. About 2 weeks ago, she came by my apartment to pick up some of her stuff. She then approached me with information on how we could get an "easy, lawyer-free" divorce. She also told me how she was planning to move to Oregon (we live in Illinois) with OM. In short, I let her know that until we've explored all of the options available for us to have a great marriage, I'm not willing to discuss divorce with her.
Today, I received this e-mail from her:
I'm not sure how to respond to this. I don't know the reasons for her comment about not having a great history of cooperation. The only point about which I'm being stubborn is divorce.
Anyway, sorry, this is much longer than I intended. I've posted my story here in the past, but I haven't posted in 4 or 5 months -- although I've still been reading the board in that time. The past few months, the board has been quite busy, and I'm somewhat shy about this sort of thing. Any support or advice on my situation would be welcome.
I'd like to give a recap and update of my situation and see if any folks here are willing to offer me any support and/or advice. [I tend to be too wordy, so I'll try to make it quick.]
My WW moved out 7 months ago and immediately moved in with the married (but soon-to-be divorced) OM. The A had been going on for about 3 months before WW moved out. There were many signs of an affair over those 3 months, but I trusted WW completely and had no clue what was going on.
I have exposed to my in-laws, OMW, and WW's pastor (the pastor who married us). My in-laws have been very kind to me, but they seem to want to pretend like this isn't really happening.
I've consulted with SH and have been following his advice to the best of my ability. Not much has changed over the past 5 months or so. I've "Plan A'd" as best as I could via e-mail, but really, I've had very little contact with WW since she moved out.
In January, WW agreed to talk to SH, but never followed through on it. About 2 weeks ago, she came by my apartment to pick up some of her stuff. She then approached me with information on how we could get an "easy, lawyer-free" divorce. She also told me how she was planning to move to Oregon (we live in Illinois) with OM. In short, I let her know that until we've explored all of the options available for us to have a great marriage, I'm not willing to discuss divorce with her.
Today, I received this e-mail from her:
Quote
ncn,
We have not had a great history of cooperation, but I am hoping that you have had some time to think about filing for divorce with me without the help of a lawyer. I find this to be the best option in terms of cost, drawn out argument, anguish of my parents, and so on. I am prepared to go on with a regular divorce, but will wait until Friday to continue on that route in hopes that you will be willing to cooperate.
I'm still not really clear why you are stubborn about doing it the more costly, drawn out argumentative, anguishing way. I hope that you will analyze whether your stubborness is altruistic and universally correct or really just a case of you not wanting to take any blame or make any decisions.
That's all I've got
We have not had a great history of cooperation, but I am hoping that you have had some time to think about filing for divorce with me without the help of a lawyer. I find this to be the best option in terms of cost, drawn out argument, anguish of my parents, and so on. I am prepared to go on with a regular divorce, but will wait until Friday to continue on that route in hopes that you will be willing to cooperate.
I'm still not really clear why you are stubborn about doing it the more costly, drawn out argumentative, anguishing way. I hope that you will analyze whether your stubborness is altruistic and universally correct or really just a case of you not wanting to take any blame or make any decisions.
That's all I've got
Anyway, sorry, this is much longer than I intended. I've posted my story here in the past, but I haven't posted in 4 or 5 months -- although I've still been reading the board in that time. The past few months, the board has been quite busy, and I'm somewhat shy about this sort of thing. Any support or advice on my situation would be welcome.