WH came over to get the kids today. He came much earlier than expected and I was outside trying to start the lawn mower to cut the grass. Well he offered to help me as I wasn't having much luck. Come to find out the spark plug was clogged or something and he repaired it. I know I shouldn't have, but I was vulnerable...STUPID ME!!!! and I hugged him to thank him. I broke the hug and he gave me a kiss. Just a short little peck, we used to always do that after we hugged, but it felt so good to have hugged him after a year.

Well he took the kids out and I had a good cry. Why did I do that!? Hug him and let him kiss me?? I so wanted it to be like it was.

He came back and I felt that I needed to know something. Everytime I had always asked, he changed the subject or never answered. We go to court next week, the D could be over then, so I asked him if it was what he wanted. He finally answered me and said he thought it was best. He's been gone a year and he's happy. I told him sure he was happy he didn't have a wife and kids to worry about. He said he thinks about his kids, but he feels that it would be best to just go through with it now, it being a year already with him being gone, he's used to his life now. I asked him if he wanted the D to move on with OW. He said not at all, he just thinks it will best for him. He also metnioned that he spent tons of $$ on lawyers already. Guess he doesn't want that to go to waste so he feels he needs to move on with the D.

I told him I had changed, I wished he would have given me the chance to show him. He told me he wonders if I only changed because he left.

So I FINALLY got the answer I was hoping I would never hear. As much as I have said I have moved on and this and that, I had really hoped that at the last minute he would have changed his mind and seen what he was missing.

He made it clear he likes his new life and that's it.

So I guess in a week or so I'll be D'd.

Thanks for letting me vent. Got to go, I'm crying so hard I can't see the keys.

Cat

Catgirl. I am so sorry for your pain. I know that you think this is the worst thing that ever happened to you, but I have to tell you I thought the same thing when my frist love cheated on me and left me for the OW. I thought something was wrong with me and that maybe she did something better for him than I did. However I now realize that he was preparing me for my H. If I hadn't gone through that pain of betrayal I know when temptation came a knocking that I would have let in instead of coming here to fix what was wrong with my M. What stopped me from going down that road before I found MB was the fact that I couldn't put someone I love through that type of pain. I had never cried so much in my life and so hard. I couldn't do that to my DH.

Now I my XBF is going on 33 and he is still living with his mom. He ended up having a baby for the OW and she left him and the baby. He has done nothing with his life and if I see the OW now I would happily tell her thank you for taking that problem off my hand and to this day he is still bed hopping. I think he has four kids from four different women besides the one he had with my then OW. I thank God to this day from delivering me from that mess. However when it happened I thought God why me? What did I do to deserve this.

There truly is a blessing in every lesson. You can't see it now but I promise in time you will. You are not hurting in vain.

Even though problems brought me to this board now that we are fixing them I see why we had them and we have grown and are becoming better people day by day.

It will get better.

(((CG)))

P.S. I forgot to mention this but to this day whenever I hear something from him by way of friends they tell me he is still carrying a torch for me and that leaving me was the craziest thing he ever did. So even if they do leave you for the OP in time they do come back. In his case not only was he to late but I don't think I could ever take him back after all he has done to hurt me.

i'm so sorry for your pain cat

i know my husband would say the same thing if i asked

and it hurts like he!!

(((Cat)))
Sorry for your pain. It's okay to cry and let it out.

It was seeing him that did this to you... I knkow WH just walked into house without my expectation. Waited for me to look at him to say he will e-mail me later about my ds hockey (starting to play with HS this summer)

It just brings me back to the hurt.

It will get better,

Still

Cat-

I am so sorry! I cannot imagine how much you hurt.

My WH gave me the same line, "I wonder if you only changed because I left". And it hurts. It hurts because you cannot have the chance to show them.

But, you also have to look at it this way. He would have had to change too... and if he did not, then it is his loss.

I am trying to live and learn throughout my journey. I feel that we had similar situations, and it is terrible. And frustrating. But I am trying to rise out of the ashes, and try to have fun too. You will get past this, you are strong. I wish you the best of luck!!

(((((((((((Cat))))))))))))))))

Sadmo

(((Cat)))

(((((((big hugs))))))))> I know how you feel to have your heart trampled on - but its the start of another week, its a beautiful day (in the UK) and you have to keep calm and carry on being the great person you are. I too have problems with the lawn mower - but what an achievement when you sort and have a neat lawn which makes the garden look better too.

Dear Cat,

Sorry you were hurt again. The WS ain't done yet but you probably are ready t/b done.

It is sad he is a slow learner. He doesn't realize that being on his own w/b just that, on his own.

When he gets sick or needs some attention, there won't be a real family to give him the support even a parent needs.

He is dumb and in the fog.

Best you let him go for now.

Hugz to you and your family. It is sad that a man who gives life to children can so callously abandon them and the mother of his children.

It speaks badly of his character.

Best for you and the children to be safely away from his callous ways.

Move forward with the grace and dignity that is rightfully yours. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.

Thanks all for your support. I have no one else to turn to. Relatives all think I should just be done with him. They think I am a total fool for even considering wanting him back.

Orchid...the problem is, he won't be alone. He has OW, he lives with her. I guess she doesn't give him the sh$t that I did, and he's happy with no conflict.

I truly think he likes the single life, no wife, kids etc. He lives with OW like they are newlyweds.

He told me I ruined him financially because of the D. Funny, I heard OW hooked up with him because he's rich. Wonder what now? I'm sure she knows his situation, yet she's still with him, so I guess the $$ is not important to her anymore. She works, has a good job, so between the 2 of them, they'll do fine. WH did say that he needed her income to pay rent etc.

I feel like I felt on D day. So defeated. Like a piece of trash tossed away after all those years, because WH is happy being single again. I woke up this morning my eyes were so swollen from crying all night. I had to go help out at DD's school this a.m., and people were asking me what happened? They thought I was in a fight! I told them I have allergies (not) and my eyes are puffy because of that.

I'm just so tired of it all. Not that I would ever do this, but I can see why people do drastic things, commit suicide etc., just to end the pain.

I know everyone is saying it gets better. But I just want to be married to H again. I don't want to start over.

Why did he kiss me yesterday? A sympathy kiss? Doing that set me back a year!

How long have you been in PLAN B?

Is there any way that you can stall the divorce?

I know I sound like a broken record but your WH is voicing the STANDARD WS SCRIPT. I would not have expected him to say anything different. I could have told you EXACTLY what he was going to say before you asked him.

He's IN THE FOG.

My H remained somewhat FOGGY even after a year of RECOVERY.

ACCEPTANCE..ACCEPTANCE..BELIEVE IN THE PLANS..BELIEVE IN THE PLANS...

Tell you a secret that everyone here probably knows...

I had SF with my WH in the middle of PLAN B... a sort of spur of the moment thing if you know what I mean...

It was VERY STEAMY and VERY X-RATED... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Mimi, understanding your NEED TO HUG HIM....and your UTTER SADNESS AFTERWARDS....

((((CAT))))

(((Catgirl)))

You and I have had tough weeks recently. I cried buckets at church yesterday. I haven't cried like that in months but the finality of the D really set in and the tears came pouring down. Let yourself cry. It gets all the toxins out.

I broke Plan B myself two weeks ago when I met WH to give him my signature page of the settlement agreement. I was praying for a miracle that he would look at me and ask for forgiveness but instead he looked at me in disgust. He walked out on me in the middle of a coffee shop while I was trying to talk to him. He's in so much denial about how much he screwed up that he can't even look me in the eyes. Pathetic. I thought that seeing him would give me some closure but instead I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. It hurt like heck and it still does.

Catgirl, I completely feel your pain. It's hard to let go of someone, isn't it? I still struggle with it. God will give you the strength to move on. We are only responsible for ourselves, not our WHs.

God bless you.

I am so sorry. I got that line too. The "You only tried to change because I left you"

But in a way...he was right. It made me look at what I was doing wrong in the relationship.

I know how much it hurts. I am still kinda in the middle of this, so I can't offer much advice, other that one day you will wake up and things don't hurt so much. You are able to ignore them.

This line always gets me

"You only tried to change because I left you"


DUH! You can't change something without knowing what it is that needs changing. It's not like you were really given a solid chance to figure this out BEFORE the A. Seriously, don't read too much into that line o'bull!

(((((Catgirl)))))

I am so sorry about the pain that your are experiencing. Please know that we all understand. About the family and friends writing your M and WH off, I think MOST families do that. They don't want to see you hurting anymore, and they don't want to deal with the pain themselves (selfish, yes, but self proservation is key to many people).


Keep the Plan B going, stay away from the monstrous WH.



Mimi,

I can't imagine the pain you suffered after having SF with your WH, and then he went back to OW. Well, that's not entirely true, so, well, I CAN imagine it, but it is an awful experience. You got right back up (ahem!, no pun intended) and dusted yourself off and turned that little light of yours on and silently waited and worked on yourself. That is what I'm trying to do now.

Mimi,

I've fallen off plan B a few times. Have been in it now about 2 months, but have to see WH during court which we've had twice in the past month.

He seems pretty clear to me, no fog, when he tells me he likes the way things are. He hasn't had any conflicts from me in a year, it's been peaceful at his house and he's happy. He's just not happy that I ruined him financially.

Then the kiss. What was that all about? He could have recipricated my hug and that was it. Or shunned away from me altogether. See...there I go again clinging onto signs and crumbs of hope!!!

Silent...

My DS, who is a teen, said something to me that stuck. She saw me crying and asked me what was wrong. I try and cry when no one is around, but she caught me! I truly try and shield her from the situation. She doesn't need adult problems, but I mentioned a few things to her. She said that had I not filed for D, I would not have changed...lost 70 pounds, been more tolerant, no more nagging etc.

She's right. I probably would have been the same old me.

But WH thinks I just did it because it's a way of winning him back. Maybe he was right in the beginning, but now I did it for me. I finally went on AD's last year after being reluctant. I think that made a HUGE difference. Maybe if I would have listened to my Dr. a few years ago and went on them then, things would have been different. I would have been happier, no nagging at WH etc.

I mentioned to WH yesterday when he told me that he thinks I just changed because he left, that now another man would reap those rewards someday, the new me, physically and emotionally. He agreed with me and said yeah that new guy would.

I just feel so beaten down.

Cat, sweetie, that is why you do not have contact during Plan B. I'm not swatting at you with a 2x4, I'm stating the obvious. He is still sooooooo wayward, and you THINK he's not because he SAYS so. You can't believe a word he is saying.

It sounds like, barring some miracle, the D WILL happen. It also sounds like you are moving forward with your life. You keep asking why he would kiss you. I tell you what, I don't know any friends that help me start my mower and then lean in for a smackeroo--it just doens't happen. NOW, what you can do is go back to silence. You are doing very well for yourself. Keep up the momentum. No matter what a wayward says, you changed and have kept it up because you are dealing with YOU. Just continue that.

Silent,

Swat all you want, I need it!

I am so gullible sometimes. I guess I STILL can't believe that what he tells me is not true. He sounds so sincere and sounds happy in his life. I STILL see him as my H and I know that man is long gone.

You are right, a friend would not have kissed me, even if it was a peck, so what did it mean?

If it meant anything, he'd be stopping the D now.

The D can't be put on hold. Right now if I did, he'd just go right back and immediately counterfile. It might be on hold for a day or 2, but that's it. He's made it clear he wants the D. Don't know if OW is pressuring him. I'm pretty sure she is not helping him do the right thing. I imagine she is telling him stuff and he's going along with her suggestions. So you are right, the D will happen.

I also think his pride is in his way. Perhaps he is having 2nd thoughts, but he's spent so much $$ on his lawyer and everyone knows our situaion, that he feels he could never face anyone again, meaning he had to admit he was wrong, something he NEVER admits, so he's just going through with it all to keep face. Silly, but that's him. He'd rather do that than admit he made a mistake. He is ALWAYS right.

He's having an A with a SWEET YOUNG THANG..he's in what we call the FOG..NO DOUBT IN MY MIND WHATSOEVER...

My H told me the EXACT SAME CRAP.."I'm happy".."I've got to do this".."FACE IT, IT'S OVER BETWEEN US"...and just like you, I believed him a lot of the time..BUT IT WAS ALL CRAP...

ACTIONS..ACTIONS..SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS FOR THE WS!!



THIS WAS KEY...AND A REAL SIGN THAT THERE IS HOPE!!!

That's why I asked if you can stall the divorce...

And don't believe that it was a MISTAKE that he came by early...

If it meant anything, he'd be stopping the D now.

NOPE, no he wouldn't.

When my WH walked out the door THIS TIME, he said that he wanted a D. Then he sat here for four more hours letting me talk to him. He wanted to finish out the night on the couch (it was 2am). I told him I couldn't do that, he needed to leave. I have no idea why he bothered talking to me (yes, he did talk).

When he left the FIRST time he said that a D was what he wanted. He never even attempted to file.

Cat, it's like talking to a sign post. He is in la la land, because there ain't NOBODY that thinks he's right, not even himself. He thinks that he won't have to feel guilty once the D occurs. He's gonna be thinking that one over again and again as you slowly move forward without him (and you will). Cat, your life is going to be great. PERIOD. You have already done some amazing things for yourself, keep that up and you will be right as rain, NO MATTER WHAT.

It's a process that won't work according to OUR TIME TABLE. He definitely continues to have FEELINGS for you..a SPARK..that can become a FLAME...

Are you SURE the DIVORCE cannot be put on HOLD some sort of way?



Again..nothing new..

My H is very PRIDEFUL...

You are speaking to how you feel about YOURSELF...

YOU ARE WORTH EVERY BIT OF SACRIFICE THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO MAKE..YOUR MARRIAGE IS WORTH THIS....

That is the place that he has to reach to reconcile..

You don't think he can do it?

You don't think that you are WORTH that..him being SHAMED???

Did I mention somewhere how I feel that gathering MY SELF-RESPECT was key?

It made me 10 times MORE ATTRACTIVE to my H.

That day when I happened to see him and did the PLAN B GOOF, I wasn't planning on seeing him but you should have seen me. I was in FULL GODDESS MODE..for MYSELF..to make MYSELF FEEL GOOD...I bet he was wondering what my agenda was that day... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

And I pray this for you...MY PRIDEFUL HUSBAND actually said this in the car just now...He drives this round about way to our house in order to not go by the FOW's work..In fact, he travels all out of the way every day, making it necessary for us to move...

I said something about the inconvenience for him and he said: "THIS IS THE PRICE I HAVE TO PAY FOR WHAT I DID...I SEE THIS AS MY LESSON"..or something like that..I got the message that he wanted me to hear and I SHUT UP....

Oh, mimi, that is totally cool and REAL. Just reading this has sparked my memory on things that I have changed PERMANENTLY just because of breaking up with old boyfriends or hurting someone else. These little sacrifices (sometimes big inconveniences) keep everybody happy, and serve as a reminder to cherish those things that you hold dear...

i've done everything i can to stall a divorce and it's made my H even more angry and resentful

more things for him to complain about with OW

WHY hasn't anything worked so far?

it's so frustrating and heart breaking not to have a chance to show your H what you have learned from your mistakes and about relationships isn't it cat?

Mimi,

I honestly don't think he can do it, or will do it. I have NEVER and I mean NEVER heard him admit he was wrong in all the years I've been married to him. He'd tap dance around saying he MIGHT have made a mistake or whatever, but come out and say it, nope! He still has yet to admit to me he's having an A!! Still says they are roomies!!!!

My goodness I have given him TONS of opportunities to stop the D. His lawyer even asked him if it's what he wanted. He said yes.

I just think that he's convinced hinself that we are incompatible and whether it's with OW or someone else, he just doesn't want ME anymore. I think that's the hardest thing to handle for me, that he doesn't want me.

I asked my lawyer about putting the D on hold. She told me what I wrote. I could hold it, but the minute WH hears, he'd counterfile. It would only be held up for a day or 2, that's it, and it would cost me more $$. Where I live, only one party needs to file. If the other doesn't want the D, oh well, too bad.

I had hoped that filing would have woken him up and had him see what he did or what he would be missing. Nope.

I even thought me telling him that some other guy would reap the rewards of the "new" me would get a rise out of him. He seemed O.K with that.

I think that was the worst thing I did. Filing. It just gave him an excuse to live alone for a year now and see that he really likes his freedom.

His mother did the same thing. Divorced her 3rd husband because she wasn't "compatible" with him. She's now living alone, saying she's happy. Don't know if she is or not. I have no contact with her anymore.

Guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree!

Eav,

It is frustrating. I'm sure WH "sees" the changes in me physically. As I said I've lost a lot weight. You'd have to be blind not to notice. I do feel good about that. I finally am happy with myself and how I look. But I still want to show him that I'm not that old nagging bit$h that I was when he left. He just won't give me the chance.

I really think he just doesn't want to be with me anymore.

Another thing...3 guys at his work are D'd and are living it up. Guess he wants to join the fun.

Hi and (((mimi)))

Mine appears to be on the same path... so I do understand...
For me I have just come to conclusion I need to let go. You can't loose what you don't have.

She may find her way home (though I doubt it) she is to busy running.

I wiss you all the luck.. your not alone out there...

Jim

I'm hearing a focus on HIM in your posts.

Remember yesterday when I was talking about SELF-RESPECT?

What about YOU?

What's most important are the changes that you are making for YOURSELF.

What goals do YOU have to become the BEST PERSON that YOU can be?

That way you come across less needy which is UNATTRACTIVE.

BOLD, ASSERTIVE, WOMAN OF POWER..I'm trying to lead you in this DIRECTION...

"I WILL FIGHT FOR MY MAN..I WILL FIGHT FOR MY MARRIAGE..WE BELONG TOGETHER"....

He is lost. Of course, he will be talking foolish about being HAPPY with a YOUNG GIRL...You are WISER than this FOOL in a FOG... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Mimi,

I am really trying to work more on me. Exercising more etc.

My question is...what am I supposed to do if he just doesn't see it? Or if he just doesn't want to be with me?

I'm not sure, but I think it's not even all about OW anymore. I think he just doesn't want ME!

He likes no kids, no mowing the lawn, no helping with homework etc. He likes the single life.

CAT:

Read my PERSONAL POWER POST...it came from thinking about YOU...

Why are you saying "TRYING"? This is what you HAVE TO DO!!



The changes that YOU decide to make must be YOUR OWN CHOICES about how YOU WANT TO BETTER YOURSELF. THIS IS YOUR PLAN..FOR YOU!!!



That's BULLCRAP!! How can you know about him?

Make yourself into a SPECIAL WOMAN that anyone would want..

Make yourself into the PERSON THAT YOU WANT TO BE IN THIS LIFE...

I do want to make ME better, and I have. I am finally happy with ME. I lost alot of weight, still would like to lose a bit more, have really gotten into exercising, and if I must say so without getting a big head, I think I look pretty good!

But actions speak louder than words and WH has shown me he doesn't want me!

I asked him the other day. He said he's had a year of no conflict...which means me not bit$hing at him, and it's been nice.

Maybe it's a fog talk, but he's not showing me he wants me.

He could have stopped the D MANY times and has not.

I'm not sure what else I need to see. I see he's moved on.

Am I missing something or am I just too stupid to see it?

Don't call yourself STUPID.

O.K. not stupid, but am I not seeing what eveyone is telling me?

He's been living with OW for over a year now. Obviously she is doing something right or he would have realized what he was missing and have come back. Fog or not.

Yes, no?

I think I know WH after all these years and I see him as being done with the M.

Fine. I'm not going to encourage you to FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE if you don't want to.

It's YOUR LIFE.

It's YOUR CHOICE.

Go ahead and give up and hand him over to her on a silver platter.

cat,

examine what you are saying. Don't look at your WH, look at yourself. Why are YOU giving up, without using the fogged out poop as an excuse. Are YOU finished?

You can go at any time, and you know it, so why not just stay dark in Plan B, even after the D? What excuses are YOU making to break Plan B? YOU have to be accountable to yourself and children first. So, why the crumbs? You can be friendly and kissey, huggy later, when you are either together again, or you have TOTALLY given up on HOPE. Why settle for less that being wanted?

You deserve better, you know that, so ACT like it. HE gives you crumbs and you lap them up and then become confused and question why he did it. HE did it to get EXACTLY the outcome that he did; YOU, wondering, questioning and hanging on to wayward weirdo. You want your H, right? If you want the wayward around forever, then continue as you are. If you want more, then dark Plan B. Yes, you may not recover your M, but you will recover you and you will move on and KNOW what you do want.

Mimi, Silent...

I'm sorry if I appear to be ungrateful to your advice. That is not it at all. I do value what you say.

I guess I am a person that bases things on what I see. And take things at face value. Basing things on what I see, I don't see WH even remotely wanting to come home or want me and I guess I get in the "give up" mode.

I don't want to sound so gloomy and I don't want to give him up to OW on a silver platter, but it looks like she already has him. She's had him for a year already. I didn't have to serve him up to her.

I guess if I didn't file the D, I would have more hope. But with the D imminent in the next few weeks or months, I guess I'm just not sure what else I can do to turn things around.

Yes, I went back to plan B, but will need to see him in court next week.

Now DD told me she invited him to her birthday dinner! I can't beleive she did that but she said he is still her father and should celebrate with her out to eat.

So now I will see him at dinner next week too!

It's hard to do a dark plan B with all of this coming up.

CAt,

I didn't read your whole thread. If you filed you can stop the D at anytime unless he counterfiled. Did he counterfile?

Still

Cat:

Your WH is following the standard script, no different than most WSes. My H moved in with the OW, spent weekends with her for YEARS, was definitely planning to give up everything for HER, thought she was his SOULMATE, told me he NEVER LOVED ME, that it was ALL OVER between us, etc....

The STRATEGY we are recommending to FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE:

Do not LISTEN TO OR BELIEVE his WORDS.

Stop the D proceedings. As Still says, LET HIM COUNTERFILE. This evidences to him that YOU do not want to proceed. Do not let such a MAJOR LIFE DECISION be forced upon you by ANYONE. If I had listened to the first lawyer that I consulted, I would definitely be DIVORCED today. He didn't care about me or my marriage.

GO INTO A DARK, DARK PLAN B which you don't break regardless of the event or circumstances. Wouldn't it be better in the long run for your daughter for her parent's to be married than for the both of you to be at a BIRTHDAY PARTY? Just think of the POWERFUL STATEMENT that you will be making if you DO NOT ATTEND, how you are evidencing your COMMITMENT to sticking to your PLAN and to your WORD?

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

BELIEVE IN MARRIAGEBUILDERS... which may seem counterintuitive to what has been recommended to you by others.

Cat-
Also think about it... if you are the one that filed for the D, and now you regret it, you should own up to the fact that you made a mistake...

What you may have going on here is two people that are in a stubborn contest.

"Well, she filed. I am not going to tell her to stop it."

And "Well, I filed. I do not want to look weak and stop it."

Do you know what I mean? There will be NO winners if you do not stand up for what you want. I am not saying to stop the D, and wildly proclaim to him that you love him and want him back, and regress. No, I am suggesting that you stop the D, and that in itself will speak volumes. I would also encourage you to put on a happy face for him every time you see him. He is noticing. You just need to be patient!

Good luck! And just think, if being stubborn is one of your less enduring qualities, maybe now you can show him that you aren't as stubborn.

Just a thought...

O.K, I withdrew my D petition today.

My lawyer sent a fax over to WH's lawyer telling him such. My lawyer said that WH will most likely counterfile in the next few days.

Not quite sure if that proved anything as WH will just refile and we are back to where we were.

Stalls the court a few weeks though. We were supposed to go next week, now it's in a few weeks.

GODD FOR YOU, CAT!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Mimi,

I'm just not sure if it will really prove anything.

He wants the D, so he'll refile it himself.

This is all about YOU...

YOU standing up for what YOU want and what YOU believe in..regardless of what ANYONE ELSE does...

Cat,

I just wanted to say that I am proud of you for withdrawing the D.

Don't think of it in terms of trying to "prove" anything. How about thinking of it as simply having your ACTIONS demonstrate what YOU want and how YOU feel.

You said you didn't want the D, so you took the steps that you could to make that a reality.

What WH does from here is on WH.

You are being TRUE TO YOURSELF. Period.

It's a Beautiful Thing!

Well, no surprise...

Lawyer just called.

WH counterfiled.

Cat,


I'm so sorry & know that it hurts. However it's a long road from filing to completion and I always believe that anything is possible.

That aside, how are you going to take care of yourself this weekend? YOU need to be YOUR focus right now.

{{{{{Cat}}}}}

Thanks Bugs...

According to my lawyer, it actually could be final in a month or 2. Said it shouldn't be longer than that.

I too pray that miracles can happen, but I guess it's a long shot.

Not sure about this weekend. Have tons of yard work to do. Fun huh? I really don't mind it. Keeps me busy and then I look at the yard and see all I've accomplished.

(((((Catgirl)))))

As you know, I've been following your story because our timeframes are so similiar. I am so very sorry to hear that your WH counterfiled. I know exactly how you're feeling. Isn't it frightening how much our WH's have changed since the A? That fog is so darn thick!

Please know that I'm praying for you.

I agree with you about the yard work. I planned spring flowers a few weeks ago and it always make me feel better when I come home to a bright and colorful yard.

Take care of yourself.

God bless.

(((Cat)))

I'm so sorry.

Still

Thanks everyone...

It wasn't as if I didn't expect it. Still hurts though.

He made it very clear to me last week, that he was happy in his new life.

That's what he says now, and I'm sure he wants to believe it.

Cat-

You did a good thing by withdrawing your D petition. You stood by what you believe, and what matters to you. That is a GOOD thing!
I also have a WH that enjoys the single life, the life of no responsibilities, not expectations. He has waffled several times, gotten depressed over it, etc. It WILL hit him, and hard one day what he gave up. And I do not think that he will be happy.

Be proud of yourself, get your gardening done (on a side note, I TRIED to cut my back yard, but the grass is too long, and my DAD (HOW EMBARRASSING!) is going to come over tomorrow to help me get it cut- my mower kept stalling!KEEP on top of the yard! LOL!) My front yard looks good, but the backyard has not been cut YET. It is relaxing to putz around outside, and it looks so nice when it it done, but all in good time...)

And good luck, keep your chin up!

Sadmo