The Clampetts Go to the Carolinas - Marriage Builders® Forums

Hope this brings a smile to a few faces. This is the ongoing saga of our trip to both Carolinas. We just got back from Montana (which account is contained in the feminine hygiene products aisle), and left right out again for the east coast.

In case anyone has not met the whole family yet, let me introduce us.

Me <-- Neak
DH <-- AJ
DS10 <-- Mr. Computer aka Mr. C
DD8 <-- the Princess
DS6 <-- the Dervish

You probably already have met Mom and Neaksis, too.

This isn't exactly a vacation, and it's no picnic, either. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> We have joined AJ in his semi for a cross-country trek. Who knows what will happen, but it's never ever dull. Join us for the latest in reality internet, lololol..............

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Thursday ~ Boy, it takes a long time to get ready, especially with only one day to do it. But I packed a lot into that one day. Packed - get it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Pretty much what I did was take the dirty clothes out of the truck, wash and fold them, put them all back in our bags, and load up again.

Oh, I also had to fit in a trip to town, since we needed dog food. (Technically the dog needed the food. We are still vegetarians.)

And Neaksis needed donuts. She says she didn't, but I always try to get her something nice as a thank you when she does something nice for me, and it also usually happens to be edible. She complains, but hasn't given anything back yet.

So it was 10pm before we actually left. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> And it only took about an hour to put away all the stuff I had thrown back in.

The trailer was over at Neaksis' house - believe me, her house looks really cute with its swelling garden, loads of home-grown flowers, dainty litle front door, and a 53' semi trailer parked in her driveway - and none of the kids but the Dervish had seen their cousins rooms since they had been painted. (Neaksis' kids went to summer camp last week, and their rooms had been finished while they were gone, and of course we were gone, too.) So I said to the Dervish, "Take the Princess in and show her what the bedrooms look like." Upon remembering, he became so excited, and said, "It's soooo......a MAKEOVER!!!!!!" I think someone has been watching Trading Spaces a few too many times with their auntie. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

All 3 of them were just about asleep by the time we pulled out of the driveway. Which gave AJ and I such a nice, peaceful evening together, that I just stayed up and chatted until 3am, when we stopped.

So we will wants pixes and details..... make sure you don't get lost in those back woods.....with a bottle of moon...shime (aka; okole hou!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Aloha,
L.

So far I have much better pix of the MT trip, which I will post when I can get them online.

Don't tempt me with the moonshine. Most days, the Dervish nearly drives me to drink. The other days, he nearly drives me to have him drink. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

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Friday ~ I guess it was Friday, although it still felt like Thursday night. Well, the rest area, which was basically just a glorified outhouse to start with, had all its restrooms shut down, and a row of porto-potties lined up instead. We went inside the family sized one, which was tipped so steeply backwards that I immediately slid on the gravel and skidded almost to the back. I hate using places like that in the dark, but many years ago Grandma taught me a technique that works no matter how much or little light there is, and builds up leg muscles as well. I'm not sure she would have been flattered to have me ALWAYS think of her at such times, but I can't help it.

A brief description of our night-time setup is in order. One of the first things we do is hang up a curtain that goes from the driver's side window, around the front, wrapping around to the passenger side, for complete privacy. The truck and the sleeper are both very small (but paid for, so believe me, I am not complaining), and the main bed is scarcely larger than a camp cot. That is where AJ & I sleep, tucked together like spoons. The top bunk, which maybe someday will have a mattress (actually I can tell you what will happen - AJ will get a new mattress for HIS bed, and put the old mattress on top), is where Mr. C sleeps. I would put the Dervish up at the other end, but he would fall for sure. Plus, that way we can store lots of stuff up there, and just stack it down at the end when it's time to use it for a bed. Thus the Dervish and the Princess sleep on the floor, each one's feet diverted to opposite sides of the gear shifter, since the space is too short to just stretch out. It's a lot like camping, but in microtents. We have a little fridge behind the passenger seat, and a microwave under the bed, so it is even pretty luxurious camping.

So anyway, when I say "we went to bed," that is what I mean: a lengthy process involving moving lots of people and lots of stuff.

Morning came all too early. Really, I am too old to stay up so late very often. The boys have figured out how to watch TV on AJ's phone, so they grabbed it bright and early, watching till the battery went dead before casting it aside as worthless. (AJ was so happy.)

It was my turn to drive, starting from somewhere in Nevada. We had opted to take the northern route due to weather, though now it looks to be pretty bad this way, too, at least in spots. And the worst weather in the 48 states looks to be right where our first part of the load goes, in Charleston, SC. Lucky us. But I digress. I drove. The kids fought. To be more clear, the Dervish fought. The other 2 merely fought back. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Finally I pulled over atop a mountain, applied a little motherly love, had them run laps around the bathroom building, and proceeded with somewhat better success.

Along the way, there were some scattered cumulus. One lonely but mean-looking little cloud obviously had some extremely unstable air associated with it. From quite a distance, you could see it had textures indicating high wind, and underneath were small vortices of swirling dust, a little larger than ordinary dust devils. You would have thought that cloud was too tiny to make even baby tornadoes, but apparently not. Then there was only one, and it moved way over past the other side of the freeway, plus being that small and with no traffic around, it wasn't particularly worrisome. When we got right there, it swept back the other direction and passed right over us. I just held on tight and grinned as it pushed us a few feet over the white line to the right, then 1-2 seconds of nothingness to stabilize, then it blew us a few feet into the fast lane. And that was it. It sounds much more dramatic to tell it, but although it was interesting and unusual, it hardly even scared AJ at all, and for some reason he does tend to scare easily when I am driving. Sorry, no pictures, either.

In the afternoon, AJ decided to take a nap, so I had the Dervish come sit up front with me, that being the only way an AJ-nap could be accomplished. The Dervish must have stored up a lot to say, because he didn't shut up for an hour-and-a-half. We played "I Spy" for a while, which is quite an adventure with him, and has many of the same elements as his knock-knock jokes. ("Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Canteloupe." "Canteloupe who?" "Canteloupe in the garden!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!") "I spy with my little eye, something that is black." "Is it the clouds?" "No." "Is it the road?" "No." "Is it that truck?" "No. Okay, I give you a clyoo. I can spy with my little eye, right through that mountain!" Sigh. "Is it Salt Lake City?" (About 30 miles away.) "YES!!! THAT'S IT!!!!!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> He got to see Great Salt Lake just before he crawled in the back and fell asleep.

The rest of the day's trip was pretty uneventful, there was just a bit of road construction right before the UT/WY border, which took about an hour to go 7 miles. It gave us more time to admire the thunderheads building all over the place, though so far it has stayed nice and sunny where we are, almost as if we have our own personal bit of sunshine that we take with us wherever we go. Well, why not? We've already taken just about everything else.

A ways into Wyoming, it was time to stop and put up our tent, i.e. get ready for bed.

I thought that was the end of the night, I really did. But at 11:30 pm our time, 12:30 am local time, the Dervish woke me up. "Mom...Mommy....I was talking to Uncle JJ." For whom it was 12:30 am. "I pushed the button, and he was on Daddy's phone, and I talked to him." I'm afraid I was not my usual calm, sweet self at the moment. In fact, I was quite snappish, especially when the handful of cold, wet stuff in his hands turned out to be a huge wad of my baby wipes (an essential piece of equipment for the genteel trucker). I think I even screeched at that point. He tried to explain that he had only been washing the upholstery on the bottom of the top bunk, but I was not much comforted. Numerous incoherently dire threats and hissing, and he did actually lie down again. I think he went to sleep, too, but if he didn't, he was at least smart enough not to wake me up.

Neak, are you seriously going to the Carolinas? If so, I may be on your path.

Oh cool, I love road trips! Um, I was just about to say something about "Aren't you going the wrong way?" but then I remembered, I was thinking Nebraska not Nevada. Doh!

If you need a kid break, stopping at the Little America somewhere in Nebraska is good, it has lots of room for the kids to get their wiggles out, as my mom says.

Yeah, Little America was such a strange thing to encounter....

Rella, I'm pretty sure you'll be at least close to our route, we'd only have to persuade AJ to slow down long enough to see you at a truck stop or rest area, lol. But I think we're going the full length of your state, if I am remembering correctly.

Jayne, we went through Nevada, too. It turned out to be a fairly similar mileage whether we went 80 and came down, or went down to start and took 40. Due to weather, we opted for the more northerly route, and are only now hitting our first storm.

Feliz Sabbado ~ At 8am, the Dervish was still fast asleep, having crawled up onto the foot of our bed. No wonder we had even less room than usual. AJ made his usual jokes about waking up with his toe in (insert name of any child)'s mouth. It reminds me of the Shel Silverstein poem.
There's too many kids in this tub.
There's too many elbows to scrub.
I just washed a behind I'm sure wasn't mine,
There's too many kids in this tub.

Don't tell Neaksis I told you this, but she has even jumped on the toe-in-mouth joke bandwagon a few times. I just try to pretend I don't know any of them. I am only a Clampett by marriage.(Unkind people might point out that Neaksis is not related by marriage, but that doesn't support my point so I am ignoring it.) Anyway, shhhhhh, our little secret.

Morning ablutions in the rest area - remember we are camping on 18 wheels - breakfast of cold cereal. One of my favorite kinds, too, the banana nut crunch from Post. Mr. C had thirds. Getting up in the morning involves most of the same steps as going to bed, but in reverse. It's a little easier just because there are 3 mostly alert, semi-obedient bodies to move around, instead of inert 65 pound slugs. After all the daily chore items were tended to, we had stories and stuff. AJ asked the Princess to sing, and the first song she chose was Father Abraham. She had gotten only as far as "Father Abraham had many sons..." when AJ ah ah ahhhhhhhh'ed her to a stop and told her she couldn't sing that song. Without missing a beat, or asking for an explanation, she started back in. "Father Abraham had many daughters, many daughters had Father Abraham...."

Talk about living in the lap of luxury, but AJ had even gotten the satellite up the night before, and the kids got to see some of their favorite TBN programming, too. Though I think the Dervish displayed an unhealthy interest in the ventriloquists. Which reminds me! Last weekend, in Plentywood, MT, the church had a small dummy that he totally adopted. I told him even though it was really called a dummy, that I would rather if he find another name for it, so he named it Dervish. Then both Dervishes had to be sure and get their fair share of cherries at potluck. I had to kiss both Dervishes. Funny, yes, but I was not sorry to see the last of the little dummy. So today I could tell the (real) Dervish was storing up every motionless-lip technique for his next opportunity.

After a while, we went on a bit further to a rest area AJ had discovered, honoring Abraham Lincoln. I would not have thought Lincoln had that many notable ties to Wyoming, more than any other place, but it was apparently as much in honor of the freeway and the guy who masterminded it, as it was about Lincoln himself. Back in the 30's, people wanted to honor Lincoln by building a coast to coast highway with his name on it, and this guy, who also owned the Packard plant, spearheaded the project. Hard to believe, but it was not until a goodly portion of road had been privately funded by businessmen, that the government started to kick in. Anyway, I'll try to post a picture later of the Lincoln monument there. It was pretty interesting, with a stone pillar of probably 30 feet, and this Abrahamic head and shoulders perched atop it. It looked like the rest of his body must be there, encased in the pillar. I kind of like the ones better where he's sitting in a chair or riding a horse.

So we hung out for a while, trotted the kids all over, then settled in for more stories. I read the Princess' favorite book out loud to everyone, till my voice was almost gone.

How could I have forgotten to tell you about lunch? AJ cooked for all of us, after helping me get the microwave out from under the bed. Some of us had mac & cheez, a couple had teriyaki noodles, and we all had delish mashed potatoes. For juice, we relished a fine pomegranite/cranberry mix. Don't tell AJ, but I accidentlly dripped some in one of his thongs. I wiped it up really quickly with one of my handy dandy baby wipes, and he hasn't said anything yet. But if you tattle on me, that will immediately change to, "I THOUGHT they seemed sticky." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

We had squash for lunch. I had gotten those cute little pies, thinking we could each have either a lemon, cherry, or chocolate custard pie for dessert, but nooooooooooooo. Just squash. Lemon squash. Cherry squash. Chocolate eclair squash. Accusations flew thick and fast as to who was the guilty party. Having the time, but no inclination to do a forensic analysis of the butt-prints, we just ate our squash with gratitude.

Supper was pretty awesome, too. Fixing a whole raft of subs in my lap while riding down the road was not as cool, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. The little onion was terribly strong, and by the time I finished cutting it I was pretty messed up. After I was done, I put eye drops in to soothe the soreness, but all it did was burn so badly I think I would have been better off just squeezing a few drops of onion juice into them to moisten them.

Now I'm getting sleepy, so I think I'll go to bed for now. While we are moving, going to bed just means trying to edge my way in, under, or around the pile of kids on the bed, and then holding on when they use all their tentacles, I mean feet, to try and push me off the edge. Until we stop, then it's time to go through the regular drill. Then in the morning, it will be my turn to drive again.

Blast you anyway, Neak. I have just been struck blind by an unfortunate mental image of AJ wearing a sticky thong!

Ga-a-a-a-a-ah............... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

t&l

**SNORT*** SNORT*** just read this update and splatted the screen with club soda LMAO. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Dark glasses for TL .. really really dark ones !! lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I'm enjoying the trip Neak, hug the rugrats for me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> AJ well I'm sure you can figure hugs for him amongst the crowded adventure <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

nothing too exciting here, just finishing off the spa enclosure and soaking the pain all out .... shot a tek screw through the edge of my left thumb & got burnt by the grinder and cutting wheel ... was too lazy to put on the face shield <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

REAL rosy cheeks right now <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Mikey LOVES the spa .... I'm surprised you didn't hear the scream of protest over there when I took him out <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> .... anyone would have thought I was cutting off his arm <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I've always wondered why amongst the first words kids learn usually included is the word NO ..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

But DD grabbed him and soon had him watching SpongeBob SquarePants <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Travel on with care ..... and next time get AJ to cut the onions as you graciously take over driving for him <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

In Harrogate, TN, there is a college called Lincoln Memorial. Near Jamestown, TN, there is a once-upon-a-time utopian village, long since defunct, called Rugby where they have story telling conventions. Somewhere in this fair state, there is a state park called Frozen Head (I don't know why). There is David Crockett State Park near Memphis. The most often visited US president home, other than Mt Vernon and Monticello, is in Nashville.

Surely we can conspire together and find some reason for AJ to pull off the interstate for a few minutes.

BTW, the original requirements for the federal interstate highway system required that one in 5 miles must be straight so that, in the event of an emergency, an airplane could find a place to land?

Neak.....love the road stories!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> U s/b a writer, the mental images your writing gives is well...... very entertaining! :grin;

Have fun!!!

L.

Oddly enough, Orchid, she is a writer, currently working (at the pace of a narcotized sloth, I'm sorry to say) on her 3rd book. She does have interesting word pictures, though, doesn't she? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Neak's first two books

She and Neaksis have written a children's book, also, although why Neak is the only one who got a biography is somewhat of a mystery, since Neaksis was the author and Neak the mere polisher.

Rahab's Promise

The family gift of gab always got me in trouble when I was younger (which is why I always hate to meet someone from Hawaii who says, "I remember you when you were little." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> It's nice to see it pay off for someone else, in a good way, at last!

t&l

I took the kids' manuscript from 4 pages to 8, far beyond the bounds of 'polishing', which is still a sore point with Neaksis. When she said "go ahead", I thought she meant go ahead and finish the story, not just go ahead and type out what she had handwritten. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

And a big thank you to Ma Clampett, as fine a publicist as anyone could wish for. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Just curious - what is your destination in SC? I'm in the upstate.

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I took the kids' manuscript from 4 pages to 8, far beyond the bounds of 'polishing', which is still a sore point with Neaksis. When she said "go ahead", I thought she meant go ahead and finish the story, not just go ahead and type out what she had handwritten. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

And a big thank you to Ma Clampett, as fine a publicist as anyone could wish for. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Well Neak, after you get back from your journey, maybe we should meet about book 4? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Gotz an idea....it is in pidgin so it may need some translatin'. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Just kidding. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Have a fun trip!!

Aloha,
L.

I have an idea, too. It's a heavenly idea!

Rella, email me and we'll see if we can converge along the highway, although AJ may be motivated enough to pass through during the night, since he got a nap. We'll see. you_neak@yahoo.com

Eph, we are going to Charleston, then Fayetteville. I've never been to that part of the country, so it will be pretty neat to see. Also, we will be going a little out of the way to divert around Kentucky, since I don't think we're registered to run there, and since it is only one little trip, at this point it is easier to go a bit out of the way, than to buy a trip permit.

Orchid, lolol, I think a book in pidgin would be loads of fun! Even a book idea in pidgin would be super. I can understand it fairly well, thanks to Maw, but me no speak so good. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Sunday ~ There was one final adventure last night right before we went to bed. neak and little neak tried to water the bushes beside the off ramp in the middle of a typhoon LOL ;0)) OKAY, I WILL BE A GOOD SPORT AND NOT JUST DELETE EVERY WORD THAT MYSTERIOUSLY SHOWED UP IN THE HALLOWED PAGES OF THIS JOURNAL!!!!!! In the interests of non-journalistic biased reporting, I was only going to mention the part about the Princess. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Well that's still all I will mention, but with the sad feeling that it will still give you waaaaay TMI about my part in this, the part that I wasn't going to mention. AM not going to mention.

Even the ones that have been on Trick My Truck, most trucks do not have bathrooms in them. That is the biggest weakness in our comfort level. At least camping in the woods, you can usual just mosey off behind a bush. In the truck, with careful planning, rest areas and truck stops are usually placed at sufficiently close intervals to keep discomfort to a minimum. Except for one notable occasion for AJ, which I think I will just mention after all, in a minute. Anyway, there are times when a bathroom just isn't around, no matter how desperately it might be needed. Sometimes it might be a delivery site, or last night it was endless stretches of dark Nebraska highway, with a nice heavy thunderstorm for good measure. When possible, I try to keep cups on hand for emergencies, (having learned through hard experience that it is not possible for a female to use a wide-mouthed Gatorade bottle with complete accuracy every time), but there were no cups left. Let us leap forward in time, to where the Princess woke up and decided she needed to go to the bathroom. I was already drenched <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />, but had to go with her since she's scared of the dark. Especially when it is wet dark. The gently sloping roadside had turned into a small river in the downpour, so the Princess climbed onto the passenger steps to try and hang over the edge. A larger individual would have been able to use the bottom step with success <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> but she was too short. The second step is quite high off the ground, requiring a much more awkward posture, even for a smaller individual. There I stood, in the dark, every inch soaked, shivering convulsively, and laughing my head off to see the tiny naked silhouette, pants around its ankles, bent double, hanging like a pennant straight out from the side of the truck, and taking FOREVER!!!!!!!!! I finally had to stifle my shrieks, because it seemed to distract her excessively. Eventually, after changing into dry jammies, I finally warmed up enough to go to sleep. Back to sleep, since I was dozing before I even finished posting last night.

I did not forget to mention the other emergency bathroom option we have; I merely saved it till now. They are called WAG bags. We got them at Cabela's a few trips ago, but just the bags and not the potty frame, since there is no room to put an extra box of kleenex, never mind a whole toilet. Until we're on Trick My Truck. Hey, a girl can hope. Anyhoo, it turns out there are not a lot of bathrooms in Montana, either, much to AJ's dismay. Somewhere in a wide valley between two ranges of mountains, he broke open a fresh vegetable platter for a snack. Let us just say that it had an immediate and unfortunate effect on his bio-processes. He tried to make it to a bathroom, but even though I drove as fast as I could, he finally had to gasp for me to pull over at the next off-ramp. Even that was quite a ways away. When I pulled over, he was all ready at the door with his WAG bag. I peeked out to make sure he was ok, and the sight was so hilarious that I quickly grabbed my camera phone, intending to take a TASTEFUL photo of the side of the truck, and one leg protruding oddly from between the tractor and trailer. Unfortunately, when I clicked the picture, my memory was full. AJ, aka The Sentinel, heard the tiny noise and peeked around. Once he saw what I was up to, it took only a few nanoseconds for him to restore himself to respectability, and the shot was lost forever. This was several trips ago, which is why I forgot all about it until....until I remembered it. That's all.

But I digress. We got up, took a shower, and for a treat, had a sit-down breakfast. The children were charming to the waitress, and did very nicely during the meal, for them. The Dervish spilled AJ's orange juice, Mr. C's sour cream - splatted all over the carpet, and several other things I have managed to repress. Then Mr. C accidentally dropped pieces of potato in the Dervish's hair. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Today being a hard-working day, there was not as much to tell during the day. We went the rest of the way through Nebraska, zipped through a couple miles of Iowa, and have been in Missouri ever since. AJ is driving now, or I wouldn't be typing. Mostly we have just driven by a bunch more cool exits today. There were several Missouri River crossings, and signs pointing where we could have followed the Lewis and Clark trail, except that we couldn't. There was the Civil War battlefield in Lexington, Arrow Rock, Blackwater, and even Ozarkland. To make up for the noseprints on the window syndrome, the scenery was so beautiful. Lots of hills, lush green vegetation - everything is dead at home - and nonstop clouds. There was also exotic wildlife: a large roadkill...elk? moose? caribou? reindeer? Too big to be a deer or antelope, anyway. And Mr. Computer saw a red bird in a field.

Not that it hasn't been a barrel of laughs. All the usual toe jokes, plus the time-honored favorite of pulling pants down. Ok, it's not what it sounds like. Well it is, but it isn't. Usually the Dervish is the delighted victim. The game goes like this. The Dervish, just going about his business, stands on a chair, or starts to climb on the top bunk, or perhaps just stands next to the front seat. AJ waits till he isn't looking, then yanks his (the Dervish's) pants down around his ankles. While the giggling Dervish struggles to pull up his pants, AJ shouts, "Look, Mommy! He's doing it again!" I pretend to be terribly shocked. "Dervish! I have told you and told you and told you NOT NOT NOT to pull down your pants, expecially in public! If I see those pants down again, I will give you a big spanking!!!!!" Then I go back to my work. A few seconds later, YANK! "Mommy - he's doing it again!" This is good for hours of entertainment, every single day.

The game has been around since Mr. C was little, but HE almost got us in trouble. I forget who he was talking to, (repressed that too), but I think it was a bunch of other church mothers. That, or something equally horrible. In his loud, clear voice he piped up, "My daddy is a policeman, and he likes to pull my pants down!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I didn't even try to explain. What could I say? Um, it's just a funny little game. I always play too. Well WE think it's funny.... Sometimes it's better to just be silent and take your lumps.

Every day I am thankful that Art Linkletter never had a chance to interview the Dervish.

Hello Neak and God bless you and your family. I could have lived without the AJ/ sticky thong visual and the female/gatorade attempts as well, but all in all, it sounds like you guys are having a great experience. Of course there are some hardships but sounds like the blessings far out weigh them.
I have always wanted to take a cross country trip by land travel with my family. I think I'd rather do the car/hotel rout than the 18 wheel palace but still sounds like a great adventure.
Your family is in my prayers for continued joy, safe travel, and what ever else our Creator seems fit.

Hola PL, hold onto that cross-country dream. God won't force anyone, but I know that a united and happy family is what He desires for you.

Oh dear, I hope I haven't been too graphic. I have tried to shelter my gentle readers from some of the more colorful aspects of trucking life, but maybe I didn't edit enough. The thong is not my fault, though, that one was all Mom.

THONGS BELONG ON FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was only joking. I am not offended, I was a mechanic and truck driver for years. I think I have heard it all.
Thanks to your mom then. lol.
Much love to you and your family
In Christ
PL

Don't worry, I was only joking too, mostly.

It is true that I try not to get so carried away with my own cleverness that I cross the line from honest to crude. For sure, in grade school that boundary eluded me.

I other words, I have been careful not to be gross for the sake of being gross, but no, I didn't actually think I had offended you, either.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Don't worry, I was only joking too, mostly.

It is true that I try not to get so carried away with my own cleverness that I cross the line from honest to crude. For sure, in grade school that boundary eluded me.

I other words, I have been careful not to be gross for the sake of being gross, but no, I didn't actually think I had offended you, either.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

PS. AJ just discovered that about 1/3 of his Dr. Pepper is missing. That explains A LOT!

Very, Very, Very long string of LOL's.

Real life is so interesting, no need for fiction.

SS

Meeting Neak W/in the hour....WalMart. Exit 201B off I-40 in TN. Be there or be square. I get to meet the Clampetts/Neaks.....

Good for you - it should be fun !!

I am amazed both of you could arrange your schedules to make it work.

Let us know how it goes.

And BTW Rella (SS looks both ways, and whispers)
WATCH OUT FOR THE DERVISH !!!
I have heard stories.

SS

It was [color:"red"] W [/color] [color:"green"] O [/color] [color:"blue"] N [/color] [color:"orange"] D [/color] [color:"yellow"] E [/color] [color:"purple"] R [/color] [color:"green"] F [/color] [color:"blue"] U [/color] [color:"red"] L [/color] [color:"orange"] !!!!!!! [/color]

We found each other....they came to my messy house and took showers, played w/ the dog, the girls played dress up, the boys played in the yard or played gameboy.....we had a salad and pasta and watermelon. Then they went on their way.....It was loads of fun...

You missed it!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

You are square!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

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I took the kids' manuscript from 4 pages to 8, far beyond the bounds of 'polishing'

OK, how about "buffing"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

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Ma Clampett

Yee-hah. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

t&l

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THONGS BELONG ON FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boy, I am so out of touch with what the younger generation is doing these days. Neak, I've seen pictures of them thong thangs, you know, and quite frankly, they didn't look too much like anything useful as footwear! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> I prefer a little more arch support from MY shoes, but that's just me...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Quote

In his loud, clear voice he piped up, "My daddy is a policeman, and he likes to pull my pants down!"

I never heard that little anecdote before. Dare I hope that this occurred at some church far, far away, which I have never, and will never, attend? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Apparently the Clampetts are unable to access the internet at the moment. However, Neak did say on the phone that they had a wonderful time at Cinderella's house, and except for the Dervish and Mr. C turning into rodents, and the Princess becoming a pumpkin, nothing untoward occurred during their visit.

Whew!

t&l

Oh, yes, Neak said her laptops battery is drained and the recharging cord is apparently broken so she cannot recharge the battery. They may be out of cybercommunication until Thursday or so. But, they are well.

....and we all arrived home, safe and sound.

THE END

Don't worry, I won't even try to get off that easily, especially since I have 5 days that will explode if I don't hurry and let some of them out.

Quote

I never heard that little anecdote before. Dare I hope that this occurred at some church far, far away, which I have never, and will never, attend?

It depends. How far are you from Lodi?

So, in those few days, you got from my closest wallyworld to the Carolinas and back to your state of residence? WOW!

Monday, aka [color:"purple"] C [/color] [color:"green"] I[/color] [color:"blue"] N[/color] [color:"red"] D [/color] [color:"green"] E [/color] [color:"yellow"] R [/color] [color:"pink"] E[/color] [color:"brown"] L[/color] [color:"purple"] L [/color] [color:"#666666"] A [/color] [color:"orange"] D [/color] [color:"green"] A [/color] [color:"red"] Y[/color] [color:"yellow"] ![/color] [color:"orange"] ! [/color] [color:"black"] ! [/color] [color:"brown"] ! [/color] [color:"green"] ! [/color] [color:"red"] ! [/color] [color:"orange"] ! [/color] [color:"purple"] ! [/color] [color:"pink"] ! [/color] ~ We were still in Arkansas when we woke up, which was not entirely surprising, since we went to sleep in Arkansas.

That rest area was pretty strange, since it had eerie mechanical noises all night, and all day. I stopped and asked the lady who was working there about it, and she said they had a big problem with birds, bats, etc., and the noise was supposed to keep them away. Which it didn't.

That ended up being one of those encounters you marvel at, and wonder the rest of your life about. Maybe I should be, or maybe I am ok like I am, but whatever, I am not the sort of person who walks up to complete strangers and inquires into their spiritual life. Yet somehow, I ended up having a very long conversation with the lady, and encouraging her in a time of trials. Before we left, she even said she felt like she needed to go back to church.

AJ had a bit to do with this, too, since he encouraged me to go back and talk to her, probably listening better to the Spirit's prompting than I did.

And that also answers the question of how we were able to so perfectly time our schedules with Cinderella, because otherwise we would have gone through an hour or two before she got off work.

And what a perfectly wonderful visit we had!!!!!!! Our fair princess has a lovely family, a darling home, and a back yard large enough to please even a cabin-fevered Dervish.

Our delight at meeting our dear Cinderella managed to overshadow the joys of a shower and a sit-down meal, even as fine as those were.

Rella, you will be amused to know that the Princess still carries around the lip gloss from your DD, everywhere she goes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And Mr. C and the boys are still asking when we can come back.

AJ only drove a little ways after we left, but was very tired so I drove for a while instead. All the interesting parts of that leg were after midnight (local time anyway), so I will put them on the next day.

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It depends. How far are you from Lodi?

Moan. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Neak, Princess TalksWithHerHands says your daughter was so much fun - like the little sister she has always wanted once in a while. Princess TWHH says "Hi!" as do I. (Prince CatLover is wiped out. Something is messed up w/ his sleeping schedule. Crashing early and waking up an something like 4:30 a.m.)

Anytime you are in the area, let me know. I can throw something on the table.

That night, God had just provided all the fixin's for a vegetarian meal....Interesting how that happened - I never have enough food for 8 just sitting in the fridge.

My princess says hi, also, through her shiny, superglossed lips. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Amazing about the food, and the ways God cares about the details of our lives. He knew how much we would enjoy the fellowship with each other.

In case I don't have time to continue too much, the adventure isn't quite over yet. Tomorrow (it was going to be tonight, but I want one more night in my own bed), I am going solo up to WA to drop off these giant rolls of brown paper. Neaksis is coming with me. *happy dance*

So there will be even more interesting stories, since we are taking her 2 kids and the Dervish.

When we get back, I am going to wallow in home-ness for a while. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Think about this one while you drive -

What do you call a camel with no humps?

SS

I know the answer I know the answer!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

but I'm not tellin' or it will spoil Neaks fun <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

My 10 yr old niece got me on this one ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

A giraffe?

I'll think about it. We are just leaving now.

Go ahead and tell AW, lets share the fun.

SS

Neak's lack of communication could be fixed with the purchase of a cord...mine requires the locating of a modem.....where did I had that thing. Sneaking a few minutes from work.

I would call that camel physically challenged.

How come your modem got disconnected?

Oh, it could be you take it with you sometimes?

I suspect it's an off time for AW, so I'll tell you.

You call a camel with no hump...... Humphrey.

I have one for T&L too - I should go type it out.

SS

I started to say "Humphrey" but I thought no one would get it.

Hmm, if I were a naughty girl, I'd say you call that camel FRUSTRATED
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

SS - yeah, I removed the modem on purpose to keep son off. I should know better. I think I need to get another plan.

But since you are a nice girl, you won't say it, right?

SS - yeah, I removed the modem on purpose to keep son off. I should know better. I think I need to get another plan.

That can be a tough one. Sometimes the kids can figure out ways to get around almost any controls.

I usually hide things in a place I'll be sure and remember. Then I forget by the next morning. Surely you don't do that too?

SS

Tuesday ~ started just as Monday ended, since I was still at the wheel. Which was unusual, since I usually try to stick AJ with the late shift.

Wisps of fog drifted silently across the face of the moon, adding their glow to the brilliant midnight countryside. Lights gleamed in the distance, growing ever nearer, winding their way through the wild Smoky Mountains.

Which is a fancy way of saying, it was hot and humid like you wouldn't believe, the full moon lit up everything for miles, and there was lots and lots and lots of traffic on the twisty, windy roads. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I really wanted to make it into NC while I was still driving, but unfortunately had to go to the bathroom at last. AJ always wakes up when I stop, so there went that idea.

He woke me up a few very short hours later to help him watch and make sure he didn't go over the edge right in front of the dock. This place in Charleston was so tight that he could'nt back in like normal - had to kind of angle in because there wasn't room to even park straight, never mind back in straight.

The kind ladies let us use the bathroom. Any time a loading/unloading place has a bathroom they will let the kids use, it is a real write-on-the-calendar kind of moment.

From there it wasn't too far to get to Fayetteville, and I got another nap, woohoo! A few more minutes there, and we were all empty. We had a faint hope of making Doswell, VA before they closed at 5pm EST, but all that pretty much disappeared the first time we had to stop at a rest area and um, rest.

We actually ended up staying there a while, since AJ was tired, too, so the kids went stir crazy for a little while we snoozed.

A fast-moving thunderstorm hit. One minute it was nice, well, hot and humid but not too bad, the next we were under a giant upended bucket of water. It didn't last long, and was quickly sunny again.

The Princess, used to CA weather, put on a sweater, against my gentle recommendation. She kept it on for at least 3.7 seconds after exiting the vehicle. Swaths of mist rose from the ground, and it was sweltering besides. We felt very Frances Marionish as we waded through the sudden swamp on our way to the facility.

After a while, I decided to sneak along farther, and managed to take off without waking AJ - quite an accomplishment! And yet again we drove past a stunning array of fascinating exits...scores of battlefields, Roanoke, historic districts, and lots of signs telling us just how far ahead we could find Washington, D.C. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Very tantalizing.

It was still early when we found a nice rest area about an hour away from Doswell where we could cook our supper and get a good night's sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Neak,
May I ask you a couple of questions? My Husband is an OTR driver...I get very lonely while he is away and I am still concerned about the OW. What can I do to soothe my mind and help make the time that we are apart less lonely?

A couple of things are helpful, but first let me say that I have been trying to get all my little pictures off the memory thingy, but so far no luck...I still have a couple more days left on the trip, which I may have a chance to share soon, now that the Dervish is starting to get better. Just in time, while I still had a small portion of hair that had not fallen out in clumps.

Ok, tips for being married to an OTR driver and still being happy, safe, etc.

1. If a WS or FWS is a one night stand kinda person, either the OTR driving or the marriage has to go, no safety is possible. IMO, for the others it is not ideal, but can be done.

2. Behavior is a big key, no matter what the R circumstances are. In one way a false recovery or two can be helpful, because you quickly become able to recognize the difference between your DH and a brain-scrambled alien. And as long as there are no aliens around, you can feel fairly safe.

3. At least for me, it was important that we were well along in R before he went OTR. I don't know if I could have rebuilt our trust if he had been gone overnight any sooner. Hard question. AJ didn't go out until July of last year, more than a year of NC.

4. At first I felt anxiety not being able to see for myself what he was doing, but with the OW so close (and no truck parking for miles around her house), any time I felt the need it was very simple to make sure she was there, and thus could not be with him. It doesn't guarantee they are not talking, but that harks back to the behavior again.

5. Do you have kids? Some days I crave loneliness, lol. If you are lonely, I have a Dervish to sell, real cheap. Seriously though, there are still things you can do. It is well worth the investment to get a cellular plan that allows you as many minutes as you can possibly use. AJ & I talk for hours a day while he is gone, sometimes actually talking, and sometimes just sitting quietly, but together.

6. We no longer have Nextel, but while we did, it was very handy that if you get the deluxe text messaging service, you can read all his text messages, sent and received both, online 24/7. This is good even if your WS/FWS is not an OTR driver, especially if they don't know you can do that. Many phones also have a GPS service where you can view the phone's physical location online.

7. Mom, close your eyes lalalalalalala. It is even possible to get creative for meeting, um, important marital needs as often as either or both of you would like. (Remember, you have lots of minutes.)

8. Find plenty of ways to fill your time with good things. I don't have to do this, because things to do find me, and not always good things, either. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> But stay busy.

9. Did I mention I have a Dervish for sale?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

10. And how could I forget? Go with him as often as possible. We just got done spending almost all summer together, and it was wonderful!

I do have children and they do occupy a lot of my time. (Not looking to purchase a dervish...I have one of my own. I've often said that if he had been born first, he would have been an only child.)

My husband and I both have Sprint phones and we do spend several hours on the phone each day. But it's those times that we aren't on the phone that concern me. We also run our of things to talk about. Like you, we sometimes just stay on the phone with each other in quiet.

Unfortunately he doesn't very often care to have his or my marital needs met in that way, but it does happen on occasion.

I did just spend a few weeks with him in the truck w/o the children. I had a sitter for them. I also go out and meet him when he is coming in close but can't make it home. But money for gas for the car is starting to be an issue for that. We have been managing to spend a couple of days a week in average together though.

I have plenty to keep me busy but I do have trouble concentrating on any given task. I worry about what will happen between us and I worry about the OW. I don't believe he has seen her in the past 2 months and things have been wonderful between us.

((Did I mention I have a Dervish for sale?))

Keep the Dervish, when it comes right down to it...you probably would want to much for him and i'm not sure the psyche ward at the local mental health facility would have an open bed for me.

btw...I've enjoyed your stories about being on the road. I'm still impressed that you and AJ were able to handle being in such a confined space with 3 children. I am a bit curious as to how you handled getting certain needs met though. We would like to take my 2 youngest along with us sometime but that need is big for both of us.

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I am a bit curious as to how you handled getting certain needs met though.

Well, that explains what happened to the bathroom sink! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

t&l

****** SNORT *******

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

My net goes down so I can't even defend myself against all this talk of sinks......sigh.

It is crowded in the truck, that's for sure. There is not much opportunity for getting, um, certain needs met on the road. It is usually one of 3 things. 1. Too tired most of the time anyway (since I drive too, we often run pretty long hours) 2. In the middle of the night 3. Getting verra verra creative <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />