Sunday ~ There was one final adventure last night right before we went to bed. neak and little neak tried to water the bushes beside the off ramp in the middle of a typhoon LOL ;0)) OKAY, I WILL BE A GOOD SPORT AND NOT JUST DELETE EVERY WORD THAT MYSTERIOUSLY SHOWED UP IN THE HALLOWED PAGES OF THIS JOURNAL!!!!!! In the interests of non-journalistic biased reporting, I was only going to mention the part about the Princess. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Well that's still all I will mention, but with the sad feeling that it will still give you waaaaay TMI about my part in this, the part that I wasn't going to mention. AM not going to mention.

Even the ones that have been on Trick My Truck, most trucks do not have bathrooms in them. That is the biggest weakness in our comfort level. At least camping in the woods, you can usual just mosey off behind a bush. In the truck, with careful planning, rest areas and truck stops are usually placed at sufficiently close intervals to keep discomfort to a minimum. Except for one notable occasion for AJ, which I think I will just mention after all, in a minute. Anyway, there are times when a bathroom just isn't around, no matter how desperately it might be needed. Sometimes it might be a delivery site, or last night it was endless stretches of dark Nebraska highway, with a nice heavy thunderstorm for good measure. When possible, I try to keep cups on hand for emergencies, (having learned through hard experience that it is not possible for a female to use a wide-mouthed Gatorade bottle with complete accuracy every time), but there were no cups left. Let us leap forward in time, to where the Princess woke up and decided she needed to go to the bathroom. I was already drenched <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />, but had to go with her since she's scared of the dark. Especially when it is wet dark. The gently sloping roadside had turned into a small river in the downpour, so the Princess climbed onto the passenger steps to try and hang over the edge. A larger individual would have been able to use the bottom step with success <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> but she was too short. The second step is quite high off the ground, requiring a much more awkward posture, even for a smaller individual. There I stood, in the dark, every inch soaked, shivering convulsively, and laughing my head off to see the tiny naked silhouette, pants around its ankles, bent double, hanging like a pennant straight out from the side of the truck, and taking FOREVER!!!!!!!!! I finally had to stifle my shrieks, because it seemed to distract her excessively. Eventually, after changing into dry jammies, I finally warmed up enough to go to sleep. Back to sleep, since I was dozing before I even finished posting last night.

I did not forget to mention the other emergency bathroom option we have; I merely saved it till now. They are called WAG bags. We got them at Cabela's a few trips ago, but just the bags and not the potty frame, since there is no room to put an extra box of kleenex, never mind a whole toilet. Until we're on Trick My Truck. Hey, a girl can hope. Anyhoo, it turns out there are not a lot of bathrooms in Montana, either, much to AJ's dismay. Somewhere in a wide valley between two ranges of mountains, he broke open a fresh vegetable platter for a snack. Let us just say that it had an immediate and unfortunate effect on his bio-processes. He tried to make it to a bathroom, but even though I drove as fast as I could, he finally had to gasp for me to pull over at the next off-ramp. Even that was quite a ways away. When I pulled over, he was all ready at the door with his WAG bag. I peeked out to make sure he was ok, and the sight was so hilarious that I quickly grabbed my camera phone, intending to take a TASTEFUL photo of the side of the truck, and one leg protruding oddly from between the tractor and trailer. Unfortunately, when I clicked the picture, my memory was full. AJ, aka The Sentinel, heard the tiny noise and peeked around. Once he saw what I was up to, it took only a few nanoseconds for him to restore himself to respectability, and the shot was lost forever. This was several trips ago, which is why I forgot all about it until....until I remembered it. That's all.

But I digress. We got up, took a shower, and for a treat, had a sit-down breakfast. The children were charming to the waitress, and did very nicely during the meal, for them. The Dervish spilled AJ's orange juice, Mr. C's sour cream - splatted all over the carpet, and several other things I have managed to repress. Then Mr. C accidentally dropped pieces of potato in the Dervish's hair. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Today being a hard-working day, there was not as much to tell during the day. We went the rest of the way through Nebraska, zipped through a couple miles of Iowa, and have been in Missouri ever since. AJ is driving now, or I wouldn't be typing. Mostly we have just driven by a bunch more cool exits today. There were several Missouri River crossings, and signs pointing where we could have followed the Lewis and Clark trail, except that we couldn't. There was the Civil War battlefield in Lexington, Arrow Rock, Blackwater, and even Ozarkland. To make up for the noseprints on the window syndrome, the scenery was so beautiful. Lots of hills, lush green vegetation - everything is dead at home - and nonstop clouds. There was also exotic wildlife: a large roadkill...elk? moose? caribou? reindeer? Too big to be a deer or antelope, anyway. And Mr. Computer saw a red bird in a field.

Not that it hasn't been a barrel of laughs. All the usual toe jokes, plus the time-honored favorite of pulling pants down. Ok, it's not what it sounds like. Well it is, but it isn't. Usually the Dervish is the delighted victim. The game goes like this. The Dervish, just going about his business, stands on a chair, or starts to climb on the top bunk, or perhaps just stands next to the front seat. AJ waits till he isn't looking, then yanks his (the Dervish's) pants down around his ankles. While the giggling Dervish struggles to pull up his pants, AJ shouts, "Look, Mommy! He's doing it again!" I pretend to be terribly shocked. "Dervish! I have told you and told you and told you NOT NOT NOT to pull down your pants, expecially in public! If I see those pants down again, I will give you a big spanking!!!!!" Then I go back to my work. A few seconds later, YANK! "Mommy - he's doing it again!" This is good for hours of entertainment, every single day.

The game has been around since Mr. C was little, but HE almost got us in trouble. I forget who he was talking to, (repressed that too), but I think it was a bunch of other church mothers. That, or something equally horrible. In his loud, clear voice he piped up, "My daddy is a policeman, and he likes to pull my pants down!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I didn't even try to explain. What could I say? Um, it's just a funny little game. I always play too. Well WE think it's funny.... Sometimes it's better to just be silent and take your lumps.

Every day I am thankful that Art Linkletter never had a chance to interview the Dervish.

Hello Neak and God bless you and your family. I could have lived without the AJ/ sticky thong visual and the female/gatorade attempts as well, but all in all, it sounds like you guys are having a great experience. Of course there are some hardships but sounds like the blessings far out weigh them.
I have always wanted to take a cross country trip by land travel with my family. I think I'd rather do the car/hotel rout than the 18 wheel palace but still sounds like a great adventure.
Your family is in my prayers for continued joy, safe travel, and what ever else our Creator seems fit.

Hola PL, hold onto that cross-country dream. God won't force anyone, but I know that a united and happy family is what He desires for you.

Oh dear, I hope I haven't been too graphic. I have tried to shelter my gentle readers from some of the more colorful aspects of trucking life, but maybe I didn't edit enough. The thong is not my fault, though, that one was all Mom.

THONGS BELONG ON FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was only joking. I am not offended, I was a mechanic and truck driver for years. I think I have heard it all.
Thanks to your mom then. lol.
Much love to you and your family
In Christ
PL

Don't worry, I was only joking too, mostly.

It is true that I try not to get so carried away with my own cleverness that I cross the line from honest to crude. For sure, in grade school that boundary eluded me.

I other words, I have been careful not to be gross for the sake of being gross, but no, I didn't actually think I had offended you, either.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Don't worry, I was only joking too, mostly.

It is true that I try not to get so carried away with my own cleverness that I cross the line from honest to crude. For sure, in grade school that boundary eluded me.

I other words, I have been careful not to be gross for the sake of being gross, but no, I didn't actually think I had offended you, either.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

PS. AJ just discovered that about 1/3 of his Dr. Pepper is missing. That explains A LOT!

Very, Very, Very long string of LOL's.

Real life is so interesting, no need for fiction.

SS

Meeting Neak W/in the hour....WalMart. Exit 201B off I-40 in TN. Be there or be square. I get to meet the Clampetts/Neaks.....

Good for you - it should be fun !!

I am amazed both of you could arrange your schedules to make it work.

Let us know how it goes.

And BTW Rella (SS looks both ways, and whispers)
WATCH OUT FOR THE DERVISH !!!
I have heard stories.

SS

It was [color:"red"] W [/color] [color:"green"] O [/color] [color:"blue"] N [/color] [color:"orange"] D [/color] [color:"yellow"] E [/color] [color:"purple"] R [/color] [color:"green"] F [/color] [color:"blue"] U [/color] [color:"red"] L [/color] [color:"orange"] !!!!!!! [/color]

We found each other....they came to my messy house and took showers, played w/ the dog, the girls played dress up, the boys played in the yard or played gameboy.....we had a salad and pasta and watermelon. Then they went on their way.....It was loads of fun...

You missed it!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

You are square!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

OK, how about "buffing"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />




Yee-hah. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Boy, I am so out of touch with what the younger generation is doing these days. Neak, I've seen pictures of them thong thangs, you know, and quite frankly, they didn't look too much like anything useful as footwear! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> I prefer a little more arch support from MY shoes, but that's just me...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I never heard that little anecdote before. Dare I hope that this occurred at some church far, far away, which I have never, and will never, attend? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Apparently the Clampetts are unable to access the internet at the moment. However, Neak did say on the phone that they had a wonderful time at Cinderella's house, and except for the Dervish and Mr. C turning into rodents, and the Princess becoming a pumpkin, nothing untoward occurred during their visit.

Whew!

t&l

Oh, yes, Neak said her laptops battery is drained and the recharging cord is apparently broken so she cannot recharge the battery. They may be out of cybercommunication until Thursday or so. But, they are well.

....and we all arrived home, safe and sound.

THE END


Don't worry, I won't even try to get off that easily, especially since I have 5 days that will explode if I don't hurry and let some of them out.


It depends. How far are you from Lodi?

So, in those few days, you got from my closest wallyworld to the Carolinas and back to your state of residence? WOW!

Monday, aka [color:"purple"] C [/color] [color:"green"] I[/color] [color:"blue"] N[/color] [color:"red"] D [/color] [color:"green"] E [/color] [color:"yellow"] R [/color] [color:"pink"] E[/color] [color:"brown"] L[/color] [color:"purple"] L [/color] [color:"#666666"] A [/color] [color:"orange"] D [/color] [color:"green"] A [/color] [color:"red"] Y[/color] [color:"yellow"] ![/color] [color:"orange"] ! [/color] [color:"black"] ! [/color] [color:"brown"] ! [/color] [color:"green"] ! [/color] [color:"red"] ! [/color] [color:"orange"] ! [/color] [color:"purple"] ! [/color] [color:"pink"] ! [/color] ~ We were still in Arkansas when we woke up, which was not entirely surprising, since we went to sleep in Arkansas.

That rest area was pretty strange, since it had eerie mechanical noises all night, and all day. I stopped and asked the lady who was working there about it, and she said they had a big problem with birds, bats, etc., and the noise was supposed to keep them away. Which it didn't.

That ended up being one of those encounters you marvel at, and wonder the rest of your life about. Maybe I should be, or maybe I am ok like I am, but whatever, I am not the sort of person who walks up to complete strangers and inquires into their spiritual life. Yet somehow, I ended up having a very long conversation with the lady, and encouraging her in a time of trials. Before we left, she even said she felt like she needed to go back to church.

AJ had a bit to do with this, too, since he encouraged me to go back and talk to her, probably listening better to the Spirit's prompting than I did.

And that also answers the question of how we were able to so perfectly time our schedules with Cinderella, because otherwise we would have gone through an hour or two before she got off work.

And what a perfectly wonderful visit we had!!!!!!! Our fair princess has a lovely family, a darling home, and a back yard large enough to please even a cabin-fevered Dervish.

Our delight at meeting our dear Cinderella managed to overshadow the joys of a shower and a sit-down meal, even as fine as those were.

Rella, you will be amused to know that the Princess still carries around the lip gloss from your DD, everywhere she goes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And Mr. C and the boys are still asking when we can come back.

AJ only drove a little ways after we left, but was very tired so I drove for a while instead. All the interesting parts of that leg were after midnight (local time anyway), so I will put them on the next day.

Moan. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Neak, Princess TalksWithHerHands says your daughter was so much fun - like the little sister she has always wanted once in a while. Princess TWHH says "Hi!" as do I. (Prince CatLover is wiped out. Something is messed up w/ his sleeping schedule. Crashing early and waking up an something like 4:30 a.m.)

Anytime you are in the area, let me know. I can throw something on the table.

That night, God had just provided all the fixin's for a vegetarian meal....Interesting how that happened - I never have enough food for 8 just sitting in the fridge.