It seems to me that most of the women who are adamantly against porn must be unattractive. I say this because one of the main arguments used against porn is that they cannot compete with the women in porn. I've seen plenty of porn where the women weren't all that great looking. Why do women always say they can't compete with these women unless they aren't all that attractive themselves. If that is the case, then maybe porn isn't the enemy. The enemy might be any other woman who is attractive. So why pick on porn. I've known several women who had no problem with pornography. They even liked to look at it themselves.

It is possible, and also not uncommon, to be a healthy, well-adjusted adult and still enjoy pornography. Viewing pornography in itself is not an evil thing. Why are women so threatened by it? Many of the men in porn are great looking, muscular, and well-endowed, but you never hear men complaining that they can't compete with those porn stars.

What's up with that?

Just a few questions I had that I thought might be worth a discussion.

Thanks for reading and posting(if you do post).

Have a great day.

Yes, attractive women do indeed hate porn!

Yep, pretty women can hate porn.

To expand on that would sound boastful, so I'll just leave it at that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


That's an over-generalization. For many women it's not an issue of competition. There ARE other reasons to dislike porn.

Dude,

You got the way wrong forum here.

****edit*****

sorry but what you said is just ridiculous. I am not going to go into what my looks are, lets just say I have never been unfortunate in that capactiy. Porn is an immature escape to a real relationship. It has nothing to do with what a women looks like. We women know that there is always going to be someone prettier, richer and have a H that dosen't watch porn and thinks his W is the most wonderful, beautiful women on the planet.

Funny. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I wondered how us girls were supposed to respond to that.

I don't feel threatened by the women in porn, and I neither like nor need porn to get turned on. However a sexy movie or story with no hard porn, just I guess you would call it soft porn or sexiness is nice sometimes. And you know, girls can look at guys who look hot with their clothes on and admire their bodies, cute face, or studly personality, no need to see the nitty gritty to admire the view, yanno?

My husband used porn a bit when he was single sometimes because he is visual and needed some visual aid, but after we got married he dumped it all. Yep, I didn't even ask him to. Said he didn't need it anymore.

In fact he was a bouncer at a strip club while in college and said he quit because he had become so desensitized to womens naked bodies that he thought he was getting wierd. LOL

I don't think I would be very attracted to a man who needed/wanted porn on an ongoing bases. It would signify a lack in some way in his own imagination and spirituality.

No offense to you though Chris.

Do attractive women hate for their husband to have affairs? Or is it just insecure, homely gals who hate to see their husbands treat their marriage disrespectfully?

Congratulations, setfree. You've been added to my "IGNORE" list. I don't want to waste one more second of time on you, not even by accident.

I hope you find some wisdom and maturity someday, somewhere.
Mulan

Chris...that has to be one of the most ***** questions you could ask. It shows your immaturity and stupidity to make that assertion.
First of all...not all people view beauty the same way. I personally would never find a woman in porn attractive. The women I find attractive are such to me because of the whole package..not their boobs, butt or ho ha.... I have been with women that others considered beautiful...and some that society might not be conditioned to think that about them...but they were beautiful in my eyes....and they felt beautiful..which is always attractive.

Grow up little boy.

Weaver, thanks for your post. I totally agree with everything you say. Really! I think you make some excellent points. I especially like what you say about a man, or woman I suppose, who needed/wanted porn on an ongoing basis signifying a lack in imagination or spirituality. Well put!!!

ugh! I am with you, weaver. When I think of a guy who likes porn, I always think of some pimply little weasel sitting in front of the computer *****edit*****. Hardly a manly image! YUCK!!

Anyway, the others are right. It has nothing to do with being ugly, pretty or male or female, unless one believes that DR BILL HARLEY is an ugly ole broad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> There are good reasons to be offended to by porn.

Among them would be that it is just indecent. It is disgusting to those who view sex as something more than just an animalistic act, *****edit****** Nothing beautiful or sexy about that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Secondly, most men masturbate to porn, which means they are getting their need for sex outside of marriage, a big NO NO. Watching porn also seems to give the participants a fondness for extreme forms of sex that most folks would find disgusting. We have had several women come on this site and complain about the damage caused to their sex lives by porn. They were expected to perform like **** in order to satisfy their husbands.

But here is the bottom line: porn is often a huge lovebuster and it doesn't matter WHY it offends the wife. If it is offensive, then he should stop it. If he continues, then the marriage has a much greater problem than porn, it has a spouse who does not care about the feelings of his wife.

Here is what Harley says about porn:


entire article at: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5050a_qa.html

What in the world??
I was facetiously replying to Chris, that being attractive has nothing to do with how much it hurts when a husband betrays you either with a porn obssession, or an affair. I am truly sorry if you did not understand my sarcasm. Someone who hasn't been blocked by Mulan please convey my apologies for coming across wrong.

Hey Mel... I told you to get that camera out of my house! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
I hate being spied on!

Chris,

My experience is that most of the complaints have something to do with the women not getting what she thinks she should be getting between the sheets. Many end up getting nothing at all.

If her man was using porn and he was satisfying her physically and emotionally, then she would be downloading the stuff for him.

I don't care if my H uses porn. He is one cracker-jack in bed...but then he always has had a high testosterone level and doesn't actually need all that extra porn-type stimulation to get his hemoglobin up to the task! But, hey...if there is something organically wrong...if the penis is desensitized...if nature didn't give you all it takes...if you need a little something extra to man-up to the plate, I say porn is a wonderful thang for the wang! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Ditto

Just to clarify, I don't particularly like or dislike porn. Frankly, I don't care much about it one way or the other. I find it interesting though that many women are so hateful towards pornography. Why do they even care? It's not the porn that is the problem. The problem is the man who feels the need to view it obsessively. If you took away the porn, wouldn't the underlying problem still exist? The need or desire for something else.

It reminds me of the debate over violent video games. You know the one where people blame the video game for some kid pulling out a gun and harming others. It's not the game that is the problem, the game didn't do anything. It's the damn violent kid that is to blame! Otherwise, how do you explain the fact that thousands of other kids play the same game and DON'T go out and commit violence? If all it takes is a video game to drive someone to commit a violent act, isn't there an inherent problem to begin with.

Same with porn. If watching porn is enough to emotionally pull someone away from their relationship, isn't there a deeper problem to begin with? Otherwise, how can you explain the thousands, perhaps millions, of other people who watch it and AREN'T adversely affected?

Just my 2 cents.

Thanks for listening.

bwhahahhaaa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I have a daughter....
I have a son

till the day comes when I would be so very very happy and proud to have my daughter/son be in porn...

I can not find anything about porn that is attractive...

period..

each person is someones daughter
each person is someone son...

I am not threatened by it one iota...

just sad that people use God's infinite gift of human sexuality...
in such a way....

has absolutely nothing to do with any feeling about me...
cept can't look at my adorable children and wish for any of them to use their time on this earth making porn....

I also married someone who feels the EXACT same way about it...

ARKie

Beautifully said!

I believe Harley's quote and the article answers this. Watching porn is getting one's sexual needs met outside of marriage. THAT is a problem. Read the article.

Many marriages ARE adversely effected by porn, so I don't know where you get the idea they aren't. Porn is as damaging to marriages as alcoholism. Dr. Harley spoke about this today on his show.

Why don't you call him up right now and tell him that marriages AREN'T "adversely effected by porn?" He will be on for another 30 min, until 1pm cst at 888-606-1776

Why not...*************

I don't complain because I know that I have sixteen orders of magni2de more brain cells than all the porn stars in a given movie, combined.

-ol' 2long

I don't complain because I know that I have sixteen orders of magni2de more brain cells than all the porn stars in a given movie, combined.



and that my friend is what real women find sexy!!

arkie...

Are the women in porn movies cute? I accidentally flipped on a porn movie in my hotel room in Michigan several years ago and they were skanky looking!! One was so skinny that you could see her ribs and she had these little scrawny boobies and bleach blonde hair with black roots. I remember wondering how anyone could get turned on by that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

If I had a mind to be jealous, it would not be about porn movies, because I bet most are skaggy looking ho's, but rather about girlie magazines. I have seen those and the women are pretty.

And as Kid Rock says "it's ain't bragging if you can back it up". LOL, and you can!

Ark,

I only saw one porn movie, many many years ago and it was so gross I swore I would never have sex. I mean I watched about five minutes and yuck, just YUCK! And they were skanky and dumb looking. And don't get me started on the guy in that thing. Gross.

And I ain't no prude!

Mel,

You should see what is acceptable on TV in Quebec. Wow, that's all I can say.

To coin a phrase, Grow up little boy.

hey little man...there is a big differnce between a joke and your question...but I wouldn't expect a MONKEY to get that.

I believe Harley's quote and the article answers this. Watching porn is getting one's sexual needs met outside of marriage. THAT is a problem. Read the article.

I thought we were more concerned with emotional needs.

Many marriages ARE adversely effected by porn, so I don't know where you get the idea they aren't. Porn is as damaging to marriages as alcoholism. Dr. Harley spoke about this today on his show.[quote]



I never said that there are no marriages adversely affected by porn. You've got to learn to read here and not make assumptions. What I said was that many marriages are NOT adversely affected by it. Big difference.

so what?

********edit***********<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> EGAD! LOL

Yes, but your joke was so sophomoric and weak. I know you'll have to look up one of those words. Go ahead, we'll wait........................................................................................................ O.K. Are you back now? Say something funny and it will be appreciated, even by the one whom you are trying to insult. But make a joke that is stupid, easy, and of a 5th grade mentality, and you're just going to come across as....well.....stupid, easy, and of a 5th grade mentality.

Please don't offend the intelligence of these fine folks here on MB's.

**********edit************
Huh?

Chris, Chris, Chris...another one of these boys that likes to talk behind his keyboard.
Okay...you win Chris....it was a 5th grade joke..it was intended to be.
Now your question was what...if it was an honest question it shows you are clueless about women in general...if it wasn't, it just shows you are an insensitive jerk that shouldn't be allowed to play with anything other than himself.
Now, Chris...time for me to get back to school.

you need to lighten up, honey. When was the last time you had sex? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

See, when I think of porn users, Beevis and [censored] come to mind. I envision ************edit********. That is FUNNY, in a sick sort of way.

***edit***

one of Chris's recent posts...now Mel...how often do you think it is happening for this guy?

I can only speak for myself. I consider myself an attractive woman and I hate porn, not because of what the women look like, but how it appears that their needs are not being met - it looks fake, she looks like an object and the director is only interested in displaying porn to meet the needs of men. I have seen porn where the women actually look drugged and don't seem to know what is going on. Or they are so hot for a man's big penis that they don't have any other needs for anything but that. It is so incredibly corny and stupid. And please, the woman on woman stuff is ridiculous.

**********edit***********

Gotta say Chris, this ain't lookin' too good for ya buddy...When I began dating, my daddy taught me that if the guy didn't drive and pay that he didn't respect you...Chris, based on this thread, the post of yours that MEDC quoted and my late father's wisdom, I'd say it's time for you to take some "respecting women" classes or something...I'm not being sarcastic either...I just think it's time that you take a good look internally at your feelings towards women and do some adjusting...It really would help you in the longrun...

Chris, if you don't mind my asking, what is your relationship like with your mom? Do you have sisters?

Mrs. W

lol

Many good points made here. I agree with everything you've said. Thanks for sharing.

Yes pretty women hate porn too (gee, that sounds like one of those Real Men commercials)

I personally "hate" the one behind it who seeks to devour, kill and destroy in any way possible.

Look, 25 percent of men over the age of thirty have low testosterone and low testosterone often causes erectile dysfunction and other more insidious problems in the bedroom. Tests prove that porn helps the brain produce more testosterone. Testosterone shots can damage the kidneys. I think these poor men with unpredictable erections should get a special dispensation where porn use is concerned.

Kind of like the way it is with legalized marijuana to treat certain diseases. The good should outweigh the bad. Or as Hippocates said: "contraria contrariis curantur."

Why, even a fertility doctor will hand a guy a girlie magazine if he's gonna have trouble getting a sperm sample. "abusus non tollit usum" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Be good sports and cut these poor wet-noodled dudes some slack! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Funny you should ask.

I have a great relationship with my mom. And I have a terrific sister as well.

My mom is a retired doctor. She is a strong and independent woman. She and my father would alternate picking up the tab when we went out to dinner as a family. She is independent and considerate enough to pay her own way. She never needed a man financially. Maybe this is why I am often disappointed with women who always expect the man to pay.

In a word, "yes".

Chris. I have to say after reading over some of your posts, I feel sorry for you and think I understand you a bit better. I will ask you this since your behavior seems somewhat erratic....you say you are 43 and had a marijuana problem for 29 years...are you again smoking?


And what would you profess that people should put their faith in Chris? Pot? I mean take a long hard look at your life and ask yourself .."how's it working?"
You have severe insecurity with women.
You have an obvious disdain for religion.
You have distorted views about love/beauty/trust/self esteem.
You started two different threads regarding something as simple as who should pay for a date. Let me tell you..if you can't talk to your GF about that, you shouldn't be dating her.
You got married because you were given an ultimatum.

What is your real issue right now Chris and how do you think the people here at MB can help you?

****edit*****

Is it the porn or the arousal that produces the testosterone? So is it the source (the porn) that causes the arousal that produces the testosterone? So if a husband has a wife who is the source that causes the arousal that produces the testosterone, why does he need the porn?

Chris, (I like you, and please don't think we are all ganging up here on you)

This time around in my dating process I wised up a bit, started listening to the advice of wiser ones (kind of like what Mrs. W said her dad said), and let my now husband pay for everything while on a date.

There is a lot of traveling involved in our M, and still he makes a production out of running out and fueling my car and such before I leave...(even though we are married and it's all "our" money now.

He remarked that he was so used to women in the cities insisiting on paying their own way, and when I let him pay, he felt very manly. No kidding.

And I am very considerate and independent.

Now we are married and of course it doesn't really matter who pays, but he still always does, especially in public. Sometime I'll ask in advance "do you have enough, because I have some".

When we were dating after several dates, I would say up front "do you have enough, it's kind of expensive and I can help" Or I would try to slip him a twenty or so in the car.

It's fun to follow trational male and female roles, I think.

"a man brings and a woman receives" it's kind of ingrained in our species.

weaver now ducking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I guess it all depends on how wet the old noodle is. Could be more work than the poor woman is up for. Especially if he is in denial that something is organically wrong with him and blames it on the poor woman. How's THAT gonna put her in the mood???

If all he is doing is looking at the porn, how could that be more work than the woman is up to? Why wouldn't looking at his wife do the same for him, or more?

And if he blames his wife for his lack of arousal, then you got a man with a porn problem. Porn works, but his wife doesn't do it for him.

I don't get it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

So he has to look at the porn to fix his problem so he can have sex with his wife?

If he's in denial that something is organically wrong and blames it on the poor woman then he's got deeper issues than just a "wet noodle."

I think it boils down to pure and simple lust. Wanting to have sex with someone else or watch someone else have sex. Pure unadulterated (is that an oxymoron or what?) lust.

Princess,

Now your getting into a 'what-came-first, the-chicken-or-the egg' SIT.

Don't you feel sorry for that poor guy ***EDIT****? Where's your empathy? Where's your compassion? Doesn't your heart go out *****************EDIT*****************???

What you call lust and a bad habit, just started out as a condition that most red-blooded American men have a hard time admitting that they have. Poor things.

Well then the medical field needs to come up with a medication for "the wet noodle syndrome"...Oh wait, I believe they have...It's called VIAGRA!!! Now, somebody go tell all the women in the porn industry that they can stop demoralizing and degrading themselves for the sake of "wet noodles" everywhere, because there is a CURE! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

Lust IS a condition that most red-blooded American men (and a lot of women) have. There's nothing wrong with lust (mental or physical) in and of itself. It's what they do with that lust that counts. My DH and I lust for each other all the time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It's been a long time since I've encountered********************EDIT************

I know what you mean Meg...Recently the sermon at our church was on lust-both inappropriate and appropriate...Mr. W and I couldn't wait to get home! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Appropriate lust is a beautiful thing!

Mrs. W

Chris...That is one of the most cruel posts I've seen on this board...Wow...How Sad...

Mrs. W

Justuss...you are too quick with the edit... i would have liked to have seen what people feel free to say when they are hiding behind a keyboard.

Just kidding...thanks for taking care of that ...whatever it was.

Oh drat, there I go getting in the middle of someone else's drama again. I said I wouldn't do that anymore. Scrapping days are over for this girl.

original message deleted

Let the urologist fix the wet noodle. In the mean time, porn is degrading and belittling to women. We don't have to be ugly or old to find it offensive, it just is.
We can pay our own way, but M is supposed to be about your life being our life, not his and hers. If you want and need porn. then let it do everything you need and don't bother a real woman. If you want a real woman, then get what you need from her, by giving her what she needs.

FTS

UGLY GIRLS, UNITE!!!

Um, I don't hate porn, but I don't watch porn. I don't care for it. I think it's kinda corny and unreal. I honestly wonder how many men let their expectations be what they see in porn. I know a few, um, men, maybe still boys, who expect sex as they see in porn; and some of that stuff is an outtie not an innee, IMO!!! I think it's a poor way to spend time that the woman and man could spend over one another. Seductively teasing and pleasing one another. I dunno, porn is a waste of valuable time.

___________________

Mulan,

you might want to think about how you misread people and then go off on them. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />