Just found out-please help!! Need advice now!! - 01/13/08 07:21 AM
I cannot believe I am writing this post. I have lurked and even occasionally posted here in the past, but it has been over a year. I read this forum out of curiosity alone. I never imagined that I would be the subject of a post.
My husband had been acting distant from me for about a month or so. I kept asking him what was going on, but he would just say, it's work, or something like that. Well, the day after Christmas break- he sat me down and told me he was leaving. No reason, really- just the ole- I'm not in love with you anymore blah blah blah.....
I reasoned with him, and even unfortunately begged him to stay. He still left. I was very suspicious that he was cheating, but still trusting that he may just be under a lot of stress.
I went online today to check my cell phone bill usage and noticed exhorbitant text charges. Since neither of us use text, I was immediately suspicious. I got a detail and their was the proof in the pudding. He has been texting, receiving texts, calling, and receiving calls several- I mean SEVERAL times a day since November 9th. Every day. From one number
I call the number and ask who it is. I get hung up on. I call back tell her who I am, who my husband is, etc. She hangs up again. My cell phone rings. Guess WHO??? My DH.
Why am I bothering his friend, he asks- because, you know, that is all they are, you know.
He swears that she is married and her and her husband talk to him about our marriage, and they were just trying to help him through a rough time. I said oh, ok, I can see that. But I am sure you can understand why I would need to call her husband just to verify that. Can I please have his number, because she just keeps hanging up on me.
That was enough to set him off. He ranted and raved about how I was not to 'bother' them and that is why he did not tell me about his new 'friends' because he wanted to have someone to talk to about our problems. I then told him that either he could give me his number so I could call, or I would get it myself.
That did it. He confessed as much as he felt he had to. He told me they had feelings for each other, but had never done anything <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Whatever-atleast I finallly knew the truth.
He talked to me for a long time, and confided in me that he had decided to end it with her after we broke up- and that he really was thinking he might want to make it work with us. (we had discussed this possibility before I found out)
I told him the only way I would consider even discussing reconciling is if he agreed to NC for life period. He said he could understand that, and would not have a problem with it. We talked for a long time, and in the end, he said he just needed time to think.
What do I do?????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
My husband had been acting distant from me for about a month or so. I kept asking him what was going on, but he would just say, it's work, or something like that. Well, the day after Christmas break- he sat me down and told me he was leaving. No reason, really- just the ole- I'm not in love with you anymore blah blah blah.....
I reasoned with him, and even unfortunately begged him to stay. He still left. I was very suspicious that he was cheating, but still trusting that he may just be under a lot of stress.
I went online today to check my cell phone bill usage and noticed exhorbitant text charges. Since neither of us use text, I was immediately suspicious. I got a detail and their was the proof in the pudding. He has been texting, receiving texts, calling, and receiving calls several- I mean SEVERAL times a day since November 9th. Every day. From one number
I call the number and ask who it is. I get hung up on. I call back tell her who I am, who my husband is, etc. She hangs up again. My cell phone rings. Guess WHO??? My DH.
Why am I bothering his friend, he asks- because, you know, that is all they are, you know.
He swears that she is married and her and her husband talk to him about our marriage, and they were just trying to help him through a rough time. I said oh, ok, I can see that. But I am sure you can understand why I would need to call her husband just to verify that. Can I please have his number, because she just keeps hanging up on me.
That was enough to set him off. He ranted and raved about how I was not to 'bother' them and that is why he did not tell me about his new 'friends' because he wanted to have someone to talk to about our problems. I then told him that either he could give me his number so I could call, or I would get it myself.
That did it. He confessed as much as he felt he had to. He told me they had feelings for each other, but had never done anything <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Whatever-atleast I finallly knew the truth.
He talked to me for a long time, and confided in me that he had decided to end it with her after we broke up- and that he really was thinking he might want to make it work with us. (we had discussed this possibility before I found out)
I told him the only way I would consider even discussing reconciling is if he agreed to NC for life period. He said he could understand that, and would not have a problem with it. We talked for a long time, and in the end, he said he just needed time to think.
What do I do?????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />