STOP THE WORLD...I'm getting off... - 02/06/00 08:43 PM
O.K......<P>I've had it......<P>I am not moving from this chair....I am never leaving this board.....EVER....they will have to pry my cold, dead fingers from this keyboard.....<P>when I posted regularly, and felt I was helping others, life was decent....not always great, but o.k. - a good balance had been achieved except for the amount of time spent here....<P>then I left....and only lurked.......<P><BR>now my life is a toilet....<P>this has to be something to do with my karma....there is no other explanation...<P>EVERYTHING that could possibly go wrong has....nope, no terminal illness or deaths, and there are still many, MANY things that I find myself grateful for....<P>but overall, life sucks and I would like to get off the planet right about now....<P>the pity pot is large and ever-expanding....<BR>AAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK<P>I am just venting:<P>- H is out of work<P>- I am out of work<P>- the mortgage bounced<P>- the bank is starting legal action<P>- the wait for preschool is 4 months<P>- the house is falling apart..literally...<P>- Deut is back to playing 6 hrs. a day online<P>- we both have backslid in our behaviours<P>- I feel like a psycho-b!tch<P>- we rolled dimes and nickels for gas money today<P>- we had to go to a food bank<P>- most of the stuff the gave us was rotted<P>- or 2 weeks past the freshess date<P>- Deut was attacked by ex-wife<P>- if front of their son<P>- police and social workers involved<P>- Deut has not heard from son in a week<P>- Deut told me just recently about sexual attack by her last year<P>- Deut feels like a loser who cannot provide<P>- His own dad told him to abandon his son<P>- his dad is going to hawaii, and bought g/f $8, 0000 ring, but can't help his own son<P>- laundry is piling up, I am doing some by hand as we cannot afford freaking laundry soap<P>- I am feeling EXTREMELY sorry for us...I realize this....<P>- I am whining.....I realize this too...<P>- Deut's son is still with psycho-mom<P>- my son is not reacting well to stress<P>- everybody is getting eady to sue us<P>- we will be losing internet soon<P>- we will be losing heat soon<P>I am however, grateful for my friends....every single one of you here....<P>and I do realize that we have to pull up the old bootstraps.....job searching has begun...but the mountain of debt is looming, and a paycheck in a couple of weeks will not stop all the legal proceedings.....<P>I want to run away right now....<P>I have so very much to be grateful for...really, I do...I am aware of that...but watching all of the above destroy the man I love and our life together....<P>Ironic....his infidelity drew us closer together, life is what is ripping us apart...<P>ok, Dylan's 5 cent psychiatric booth (like Lucy in peanuts) is now open again....<P>ps: missed you guys....<P><BR>Dylan<P><BR>